SAT Practice Essay 2

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'd love it if folks would give some feedback to my sons on their practice SAT essays. This uses the prompt from the online practice test.

 

This is the first time they have written such an open ended essay.

 

***

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

 

A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always “lounging around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments.†He concluded that “There is more than one way of doing good science.†It was Watson’s form of idleness, the scientist went on to say, that allowed him to solve “the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery of the structure of DNA.†It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with efficiency.

Adapted from John C. Polnyi, “Understanding Discoveryâ€

 

Assignment: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop you point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

 

*** Rutabaga's Essay (I tried to preserve punctuation ans spelling. It is about a page and a third on the answer form.)

 

I would say from my personal experience and readings that people can accomplish more when they are allowed to go about it their own way. Most people that I know have their own structure in life, which helps them to roll with the punches.

 

As the son of an active-duty military officer, I have moved many times during the past fourteen years. This means that I have to be able to create new friends in a short amount of time and I have my own ways of dealing with stress caused by this, like competitive swimming and Boy Scouts.

 

Most other military dependants my age have their own ways of making friends and relationships quickly. Some that I have heard and read about are joining a school sport or club, or getting a hobby were you can interact with other people your age.

 

Even for people who have lived in one place their entire life, making friends is an extraordinarily useful skill. Some people have systems that work so well for them that they can just meet someone on the street and immediately strike up a conversation, and sometimes become close friends in a matter of days.

 

Although, as always, there are a few notable exeptions, almost everyone has their own way of doing things. When people try to force each other into accomplishing things in a uniform manner, the result is never increased efficiency, or effectivness. So, in my opinion, yes, people need to create their own ways of accomplishing things, or the outcome will not be pretty.

[Muttichen]

I've read that on the SAT, since you only have twenty-five minutes, it's better to have one or two well-developed examples than three underdeveloped ones. If you look at the sample essays online (in the book owners' section of the college board site) that have gotten high scores, you'll see that they rarely have three examples.

 

Also, it's also not necessary to use examples from history and literature. My 7th grade daughter got a ten on the essay by writing one very long (and completely fictional!) personal example. If you are organized, show critical thinking, develop your ideas, and use correct grammar and mature vocabulary and sentence structure, you'll score well regardless of what kind of examples you use.

[cbhrbooth]

My 7th grade daughter got a ten on the essay by writing one very long (and completely fictional!) personal example. If you are organized, show critical thinking, develop your ideas, and use correct grammar and mature vocabulary and sentence structure, you'll score well regardless of what kind of examples you use.

 

Very true. The folks who score these tests are required to ignore content errors - even if it is ridiculously off-base - and score the essay only on expression/organization/unity, usage/mechanics, etc. If the examples are illogical then that may count against the student (arguing one side, but proving the other) but that's unusual.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I got scores back on the actual SAT exams.

 

Rutabaga was in the 600s, with an essay I really liked. He took a definite position on the question, supported it with a couple specific examples and was generally clear and thoughtful.

 

The big error that stood out to me was that he did not have an actual thesis statement in the essay. He started by answering the prompt but without stating his position. In other words, the prompt gave a quotation and a claim and he started with "In a word, no, this is bad advice."

 

I think if he'd clearly stated his position, rather than just saying the statement on the prompt was in error, he might have moved from a 6 to an 8 on the essay score (our of 12).