How to sell idea to older children?

[dn42592]

I have a dd14, ds12, dd9, and ds4. I have looked thru the threads and have learned some neat ideas but most are families with younger children. My two oldest (8th and 6th grade) are very busy with school. I envision in my head the looks on their faces when I mention "we're going to do school afterschool!" Fallen countenances??? Throwing themselves on their beds screaming into their pillows?? Dumbfounded, jaws on the floor...

Has anyone begun afterschooling with older kids? How do you fit it all in and not completely BURN the kids (or yourself--I currently work f/t) out?

[AuntPol]

My daughter is 9 and I have afterschooled since K. I find each year, it gets harder to do. Each year, she has more independence (In K, she couldn't go outside without supervision, now she can walk to her friends' house), nor friends, more extracurricular activities, and more homework.

I really struggle with finding afterschooling activities that don't feel like "more work".

 

The thing to ask is "why" you want to afterschool. I "have" to afterschool math. Our school does new math and didn't do any memorization of math facts so I did those with her over summer and reinforce with game this year. Also her math teacher uses a lecture style, does one example on board and erases immediately. My dd is a visual learner and a day dreamer. She is always completely lost in math so I have to reteach her at home.

 

She is supposed to get "differentiated" reading but that rarely happens at our school, her teacher doesn't do read alouds, and she has rarely had to read as part of homwork, so I supplement with read alouds, audio books, and strewing good books for her to pick up and read.

 

She gets some of the history that I do with my son because of our read alouds and family movies and some family crafts.

 

I think the older they are the more unschooling type of things you need to do: family game night, mother/daughter book clubs, building around their interests, geneaology, service projects, etc.

[purplecow7]

As they get older it gets harder. For me it has also gotten harder with all the juggling of kids and I am no longer as prepared. I used to be able to pull out something at a moments notice in a free moment. Now there are no free moments. LOL

 

For my 9 year old 4th grader - mostly it is a battle over homework. He gets a lot. Luckily it is not just busy work. So most of our afterschooling revolves around afterschooling study skills, outlining skills, and math homework. I wish we had more time to do Latin or more history or more math. For him he has agreed to afterschool writing because the alternative is a tutor and he does not want that.

 

For my 8 year old - she has major test anxiety and going threw the normal girl stuff at school. So we have been afterschooling the difference between a friend and a sometimes friend. We also do epgy math wth her. She is going through a phase right now - so we are working on that.

 

For my girl/boy twins - here is were I do the most afterschooling. We are doing reading and signapore math. My ds has some sensory issue so we do a lot of home therapy with him.

 

We also do tkd as a family and the kids have soccer and music lessons. These last few months I have been burned out from afterschooling my older two and have mostly focused on my youngest. So I guess I am not being much help.

 

My dh and I are trying to make some changes in the way we run our house, so hopefully we will be able to free up some fun learning time again. Like going to the museums on the weekend or kitchen science. This is a family favorite. I am struggling with the same issues. I have started relooking at how and why we do things and making changes. Right now I am also trying to simplify the stuff in our house to free up time and space.

[Susan in IL]

like there are certain grades where the amount of work given by the schools is outrageous.

 

I do remember when both ds's were in 6th, it was project after project after project. We called them parent projects since many of the tasks were not able to be done without parental involvement. The same thing in 8th but at that point, they were also trying to cram in as much work as possible for state testing and high school prep (woefully inadequate).

 

You might want to consider doing the bulk of your afterschooling in the summer. Work on weak areas, field trips for science or history that are more along the "fun" lines. The teach them when they aren't looking method. It keeps them busy too.

 

What area do you want to afterschool? Math, History, etc.?

 

Hope this helps.

[cougarmom4]

I agree that it is asking a lot of these kids to pile on more things after they've spent the whole day already--I want them to be able to just play after-school! However, I also feel a little frustrated that in some areas they are not learning as much as I think they need to.

 

Mostly I use summers as my time to homeschool them, although I do small things during the school year to try to 'beef' things up a bit. (add a few spelling words to their lists, selecting reading books *I* want them to read, music practice, math-facts games, etc). It is harder to get the older kids to 'want' to do more work...but to be honest, I typically tie it to a privilege. In other words, I bribe them...or encourage them to get the work done before play...1 book from my basket = a friend over to play; 3 days of math games = 1 hour of Wii.

 

Yes, I always hear that at the Browns' or Jones' house, they don't have to do school in the summer. But then I say, but you don't live there, you live here! :001_smile:

 

Good luck!

[BabyBre]

Unfortunately, they're surrounded all day by generally spoiled, whiny, disrespectful kids and that does rub off on them. How could it not? After 6 hours of that, afterschooling would be a fight for me, and they're very tired in the afternoon, too. We beforeschool, and that's just how it is. If they fight me in the morning, they have a consequence that afternoon.

 

Ds16 has finally become homework independent! He does his own work receiving help only when it's requested and his grades are so-so (hey, this is serious improvement!). ;) It's been very hard for me to cut the umbilical cord of control, but it's a relief now. I do insist that he sit in with his siblings on occasion, particularly in history. Even if it is at the 3rd grade level, it's more history than he receives in public high school. He just rolls his eyes and sighs at me.

 

My dc know that what's taught in school is not challenging to them, or that I feel they need to learn certain things in different ways, too, and some subjects (history and Latin, of course) aren't taught at their grade levels at all. But I feel it's just like any other rule of the house. They're expected to do their chores and help out around the house without giving me lip, and to do their homeschooling that way, too.

 

I intend to afterschool them through middle school (8th grade) and hopefully be ready to cut their cords by high school. I actually am looking forward to them attending the middle school because, with the 6-period class schedule, it's much easier to pick and choose the classes they should have at school and the ones they should be taught at home (math).

[3littlekeets]

My oldest is only 10, but we never talk about it as "schooling." We play "games" and try to best one another at Analytical Reasoning, Analogies, and even Sodoku, etc... It's fun when it is "competitive," ;-). We choose great films and classics, mixed in with Shrek and the like, and always have much better "snacks" :lurk5:for the harder films so they still look forward to them -- conditioning.:lol:

 

We keep stats at summer and spring baseball minor league games for Math. DS helps me balance the checkbook and DH or I try to invent questions about our finances, like, "If I spend 1/15th of our money on a dinner at Outback, how much could we spend? Then, how much would each person be able to spend?" It also teaches fiscal responsibility and we find he asks for much less now:D.

 

We do read alouds, still...bedtime is never shortchanged. We snuggle on the couch even for 10 minutes to unwind and talk about the day...then pass around a good book. We take turns choosing the book (DH usually chooses ones about sports or gross things!) And, I love seeing what my kids pick -- gives me insight into them. We did that in my family even when I came home from College. Once I married, my parents did it with my kids and it's truly a treasured family ritual.

 

And, we always work history into books on tape when we are running from place to place or going on a vacation. On weekends, we sometimes visit local historical spots; we are in the South and boy is it rich in southern history! It's certainly nothing like getting history the WTM way, but it's better than what they are getting at school. The Ancients we cover by having appropriate books in the reading bins ... again, we just try for exposure.

 

I guess what I'm saying is, I'd just start slowly introducing things they can do -- unschooling afterschooling ;-). If it makes them feel better about their family and themeselves, it won't seem like "work," kwim?

 

You are right, kids in school can get overwhelmed and stressed, so I just try to cultivate a love of learning. Video Games, even Rock Band (which we love!) is not the only way to spend free time or destress. We love chillin' and learning as a family.

[Guest sophiamoniquesm]

I haven't experience yet your situation dear.. BUT thanks also because I have now a little bit of idea about it when my child goes to school.

[Mama2Three]

My DC are younger than yours, but two suggestions that work well for us...

 

1. We do homeschool work in the mornings before ps. DC go to bed early, by 7pm, and get up around 6:15am. That gives us enough time before the 7:45am bus for about 30 minutes of table work (longer if dawdling).

2. No TV during the school week. No exceptions. I allow my DS to check sports scores and highlights on the computer if he gets his work done by a certain time in the morning, but other than that, no computer time either (special exception if there is school work to do on the computer).

 

Might sound harsh, but it's been very effective. :)

 

ETA: We do reading and read-alouds before bed, so that's not included in the morning time.

[MIch elle]

Currently we're all watching Little Dorrie on Masterpiece Theater on Sunday nights. I try to order Netflix movies to go with what ds is studying at high school. We also try to watch NOVA, Frontline and other educational TV. We listen to NPR and discuss current topics in politics, music, science, etc.

 

Summer will give us the biggest opportunity to crack the books open together again as a family. Shakespeare is on the top of my list.