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How can we fix this sentence?

Alana in Canada

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I'm working on Androcles and the Lion with the ten year old. This is what he wrote:


One day the soldiers found us separately and captured us.


Something is wrong with it, but I don't know exactly what--nor how to lead him to the right way to put it without just telling him an alternative.


The idea, of course, is that Androcles and the lion were not together when the soldiers captured them.


What questions should I be asking to lead out the right response?


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The essence of the problem, to me, is that it is not clear at all whether "separately" is referring to the soldiers, or to us. The other posters so far haven't addressed that problem. Meaning I still see the same problem with the sentences that have been posted so far. I wouldn't even use the word separately. I would steer your ds to "separated", if possible, as in, for example "One day while we were separated, the soldiers found and captured us." You could rearrange that type of sentence any way you wish, even using a different subordinate conj. (we became separated, when we were separated....etc.) To me, it just makes the meaning clearer.


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