Alana in Canada Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I'm working on Androcles and the Lion with the ten year old. This is what he wrote: One day the soldiers found us separately and captured us. Something is wrong with it, but I don't know exactly what--nor how to lead him to the right way to put it without just telling him an alternative. The idea, of course, is that Androcles and the lion were not together when the soldiers captured them. What questions should I be asking to lead out the right response? TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiddenJewel Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 The soldiers found us separately one day and captured us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alana in Canada Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 well, duh! added later: Um, sorry, that sounds rude. I was saying "well duh" to me--sometimes my head gets so preoccupied with the problem that I can't think my way out of a paper bag--nor retain any manners, either, it seems. Sorry. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyBee Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 One day the soldiers found and captured us separately. ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktkcb Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 The essence of the problem, to me, is that it is not clear at all whether "separately" is referring to the soldiers, or to us. The other posters so far haven't addressed that problem. Meaning I still see the same problem with the sentences that have been posted so far. I wouldn't even use the word separately. I would steer your ds to "separated", if possible, as in, for example "One day while we were separated, the soldiers found and captured us." You could rearrange that type of sentence any way you wish, even using a different subordinate conj. (we became separated, when we were separated....etc.) To me, it just makes the meaning clearer. Kayleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alana in Canada Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 I know there's probably a proper grammatical explanation for the whole mess, but fortunately we're not there yet. I'm just going to keep muttering "separated" until the boy and I can get this worked out together. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HiddenJewel Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 "One day while we were separated, the soldiers found and captured us." I like that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 One day the soldiers found and captured each of us separately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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