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Thank you so much for sharing that! 

I wonder if we could talk *here* about the main question she left us with - things we decided, as parents, to do differently with our own kids. If those kids are now grown, how that has played out. This part of the podcast really resonated with me and here is one point my dd (now 26) made to me recently: 

My kids were hs’d to high school level; my two olders then attended a Christian private school. Now, for *me*, who attended a Gothard-inspired Christian school that had no such thing as sports for girls and that thought only one narrow view of Christianity was the “right” one, I thought this school where I sent my kids was SO ecumenical and progressive. They did not teach YEC. They had girls (women’s) sports teams, that were supported the same as the boys (men’s) teams. They had a very progressive uniform; ie, girls could wear pants; there was an approved pair of shorts for hot weather; you could wear lots of kinds of shoes; team clothes were in uniform, so hoodies or shirts for soccer were fine; very progressive standards on hair compared to what I grew up with, and so on. 

But. My daughter said the class on “family life,” let’s call it, “messed [her] up” in her understanding of her role as a female. Chastity, modesty and so on. Again: to *me*, it was SOOOO much more progressive than what I experienced. To *her*, it was still a ton of pressure to wear and do things that were pleasing to god. Indeed, when I think about the dress code for dances, there were, like, 52 rules that pertained to women’s outfits; men’s outfits: like, 2. (However, a good point could be made that women’s clothes have a lot more variation, thus the need to cover much more possibilities. One stricture was “no mesh panels”, but I don’t think any men were picking dancewear with mesh panels.) 

In the podcast, Suzanne talked about one drawback was not having input from other adults in high school. This is one thing I thought was strongly negative in my own upbringing too, and is one thing I actively changed for my own kids. It is why they were on community sports teams and we went to co-op, because I wanted them to have other adults in their lives that could speak into their lives in a different way from mom and dad. I think this was a huge positive for all my kids and they have all talked about how valuable certain other adults were in their lives. 

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