Friends, Texans, and no-bean chili cooks, lend me your ears

[Apiphobic]

Mosey on over to the social groups and add yer name to the Talk-in-Texas group, so we can swap homeschooling and critter stories galore.

 

Stacey

[Apiphobic]

Texas is a state of mind. Texas is an obsession. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word - Author John Steinbeck

 

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus - Pro Golfer Lee Trevino

 

Texas is the crossroads of the world. Everything here is big - Bobby Lee.

 

I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world, the best land and the best prospects for health I ever saw, and I do believe it is a fortune to any man to come here - Alamo hero Davey Crockett

 

I am forced to conclude that God made Texas on his day off, for pure entertainment, just to prove that all that diversity could be crammed into one section of earth by a really top hand - Author Mary Lasswell

 

Texas is neither southern nor western. Texas is Texas - Senator William Blakley

 

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it - Former Governor Ann Richards

 

I done drew the line. Just like the Alamo. You're either on one side of the line or the other. I don't want to ever leave Texas again - Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips

 

I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world - Choreographer Tommy Tune

 

I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented, because Texans think anything is possible. Texans think big - Senator Phil Gramm

 

Houston is, without a doubt, the weirdest, most entertaining city in Texas, consisting as it does of subtropical forest, life in the fast lane, a layer of oil, cowboys and spacemen - Texas Tourism Guide

 

I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways - Car racing legend A.J. Foyt

 

My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question - Singer Lyle Lovett - Texas A&M class of 1979

[Apiphobic]

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving

Not overly-intelligent

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

(self-explanatory)

 

Tighter than bark on a tree

Not very generous

Big hat, no cattle

All talk and no action

We've howdied but we ain't shook yet

We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced

 

He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow

He has a pretty high opinion of himself

 

She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth

That woman can talk

 

It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs

We really could use a little rain around here

 

Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly

Appearances can be deceptive.

 

This ain't my first rodeo

I've been around awhile

 

He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch

Not the most handsome of men

 

They ate supper before they said grace

Living in sin

 

Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope

Stop arguing and do as you're told

 

As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

Rather prone to boasting

 

You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits

You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is

 

That's a fur piece.

It'll take you awhile to get there

 

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon

just do your part and I'll do mine

 

Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride

Don't judge a book by its cover

 

She's been rode hard and put away wet

refers to an unattractive, hard-looking woman

 

toad choker

a heavy rain

 

frog strangler

also a heavy rain

 

finer than frog hair

use anywhere you might use the word "fine"

 

rarer than hen's teeth

pretty darn rare

 

tump

to spill, as in "I jes' tumped over mah beer"

 

coke

Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Big Red, etc.