CC-Tell me how you picked a local church....

[Saddlemomma]

I am Category A-1 and DH is B-1. 

 

I didn't become a Christian until 2000.  DH had been a Christian since the age of 4 when his father died suddenly and his mother was helped by the local Christian church and subsequently joined that church.  DH grew up in an Evangelical/Pentecostal-type church, and I just followed him.

 

We also attended that church for a while right after we were married, but then changed to another one where the pastor was DH's good friend and mentor.  We probably would have stayed there if we hadn't moved to ME.  However, even then, I was questioning certain doctrines and beliefs of those two churches.  We attended their weekly Bible study class, and I always had lots of questions. 

 

Once we moved here (ME), we were greeted by a neighbor and invited to his church - Free Will Baptist.  DH and I had tried some other local churches, but nothing felt quite right, so we thought we would give it a try.  Well, we ended up staying there for 4 years. We didn't agree totally with everything they taught, but, hey, it was the best we could find and served it's purpose.  DH became the Superintendent of the Sunday School and a teacher for the adult class.  I taught the teen class, filled in for DH in the adult class when necessary, and did the weekly bulletin.

 

By this time, I had become more well-versed in the Bible, but I still had nagging questions that plagued me.  About this time, my eldest DD went off to college and subsequently ditched the faith.  I was crushed and responded in the usually way, trying to argue our case strictly with Bible verses.  This was not received well, as you can imagine.  Her behavior deteriorated to such an extent that she and a couple of friends suggested murdering us on Facebook and stealing youngest DD to prevent her from "indoctrination". I had to copy all the Facebook evidence and we, sadly, ended up calling a state detective friend to relay our fears and ask about options.  We could have had them arrested, but we didn't want to ruin their college careers, so we just monitored things, let local authorities in on the situation in case something did happen to us, and we had to end all communication for a year.  

 

This was a very shocking and disheartening time for us. It really made me, in particular, reexamine my faith.  Not that I lost faith, but it made me seek out answers for those questions I had always had.  In the end, through research, apologetics, and some awesome classical Christianity websites, I got my answers, but realized I no longer fit in a particular sect/denomination of Christianity.  I was a follower of the teachings of Christ and that was it.  I showed all my research and discoveries to my DH, and he also came to the same conclusions.  While it was a sad time, it was also a time of tremendous spiritual growth on both our parts.

 

We ended up leaving the Baptist church in a very respectful and conciliatory way.  However, the pastor's wife informed us we had never really fit in anyway.  We found a Wesleyan church 45 mins. away that made us feel comfortable.  We liked their worship service so much better than our previous church, and our DD loved their children's church.  We found our new church home.  

 

It's now been 5 years attending this church.  We still really like it and have become members of the black-light puppet team. DH teaches the object lesson in children's church twice a month, and DD now assists in children's church twice a month, and I bake cookies once a month. However, we have never become members because we don't totally agree with all they espouse and don't want to be hypocrits. 

 

One thing DH and I do love is that the youth pastor is right on the same page with us in our belief system.  I've even shared some books and sites I've read with him, and he actually incorporated some of the themes from our latest read into his latest sermon.  DD really enjoys his teaching and has grown a ton in her theology.

 

And...in case your wondering, eldest DD and we mended our fences about 2.5 years ago.  She called me out of the blue one day sobbing, wanting to resolve stuff.  I told her we would always love her, but we had our own moral guidelines, and she couldn't force us to accept hers anymore that she wanted to be forced to accept ours. The light bulb flashed on. Finally she understood that she was doing to us exactly what she thought we were doing to her.  She finally realized we could still love and accept her even if we couldn't endorse her lifestyle. Everything has been so much better since then.  We agree to disagree on certain issues and just don't bring them up.

 

So, in a nutshell, we don't feel we fall into any category or denomination, nor will we ever fit into any church completely. There will always be some things we disagree with but that's okay.  We go to church to be in community and worship with other believers, glean what we can from the sermons and discard the chaff.