Another Thread about Teens and Educational Choices

[besroma]

I would send her to the residential school. It does not appear that anything good will come from her returning to her present school. It is better to do the hard thing and to feel the pain than to feel the pain of making the wrong decision for fear of losing her.

[Stacy in NJ]

:iagree: I would also let her know that if she purposely blows it, she will be homeschooled next year. :grouphug:

 

I'd send her to the residential school and let her know the charter is completely off the table. If the residential doesn't work out the only other options would be homeschooling again.

[Stacy in NJ]

But...what if....(I'm living in the world with "what-ifs" right now):

she retaliates as promised by finding the very worst people and getting in real trouble when she's away and we can do nothing? She's just skirted the edges and dipped her toes in real trouble so far.

 

I know..."God has not given me a spirit of fear" but I guess I'm having trouble with this. I feel like it might be the jolt necessary to toss her out there and hope she swims. And she probably will, since she's always been an achiever, at least academically. But what if we lose her?

 

I'm hurting.

 

If she's determined to mess up her life there's little you're going to be able to do to prevent it, whether that's at the charter school, residential school, or homeschool. I'd send her to the residential because frequently a change of social scene can make a big difference in a teen's life. She'll be with a new group of people with interests that more closely line up with her own. She may hate it and blame you for forcing her to go, but I would emphasize with her again again that she ultimately is the captain of her own future. You can choose the more healthy environment for her, but she will need to figure out who she wants to be and what she wants to accomplish within that environment. She doesn't get to choose the school but she does get to choose who she's going to be.

 

Also, this school sounds like a wonderful opportunity under most any circumstances. It would be a shame to turn that down because she's "attached" to some losers.

[Heather in WI]

I was a gifted student who shunned the programs I was offered in order to stay in mainstream school with my "cool" friends. Please - just send her to the residential school. Send her and don't look back regardless of whether she fights it or is miserable in the beginning. Don't discuss it anymore, just make the decision and send her.

 

 

:iagree: This was me, too. Except that I ended up going downhill to a very dark place very, very fast.

 

I'm going to be bold and transparent here. How do you parents not fall for the, "Mom, I've really changed. I promise not to (fill in the blank again). I promise I will make a new start and get all my priorities in line."

 

I know it isn't true because I've fallen for it before - and think she actually meant it at the moment she said it - but then she goes right back into it.

 

^^And, this was me, too. Please hug her, tell her you love her, cry with her, but remain firm and get her out of her current situation. No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

Oh, and regarding no AC? As my brothers would say, "Suck it up, buttercup." ;) We never had AC growing up and we survived. :D

Edited June 15, 2012 by Heather in WI