WWS Week 7 Day 4- Scientific Narrative

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Can you please give dd your feedback on this. Thanks. I typed it up just as she wrote it (errors and all ;)) I just think every once in a while its good for her to get thoughts from people other than me.

 

Johannes Kepler was an assistant to Tycho Brahe. He helped Tycho study the planetary orbits. They simply assumed that the orbits were circular, but couldn't understand why there were planets that move faster and slower at different parts of their orbits. So when Tycho died in 1601, he told Kepler to keep searching for the solution, which Brahe never learned.

Then, four years after Brahe died, Kepler realized that orbits must be ellipses! He discovered this on this concept, which he stated as, "I am moved by an exceedingly powerful desire for knowledge of the heavens." He then formulated "Kepler's first law of planetary motion." This law states that planets move in elliptical orbits, and that the sun is one focal point of the orbit.

Kepler then went on and published his findings in his book, "Astronomia Nova." It was written in 1609. It contained the theory that all planet move in elliptical, not circular, orbits. It also stated that planets move faster when they are closer to the sun, and slower when they are far away. Kepler's book also argued that the sun's gravitational pull affects the planets. In it, he intended to prove heliocentrism once and for all. He main argument was that our home planet, Earth, behaved similarly to the other planets.

[Create Your Ritual]

um .. I am going to take a stab at it, but I know so little about how to critique. I will tell you what I might tell my dc when they turn in papers.

 

I would probably have her work on the section 'they simply assumed .. " and ask to be more descriptive in who assumed that the orbits were circular. I wouldn't let them start a sentence with so .. as "So when Tycho died .." I have been trying to get them to understand the difference between conversational writing and academic writing and anything that remotely sounds slang we remove. I would just have them start the sentence 'When Tycho died .."

 

I would remove the Then and just say .. 'Four years after .. and not end it with an ! unless she is wanting to have it yelled when told aloud. ;-) He discovered this on this concept, which he stated as ... could be said a bit more clearly as well .. it's a little wordy. Sometimes my kids get a notion to create these confusing sentences and I have to back them up and ask what is the main thing they are trying to get across? I would probably get them to a place of just stating .. Kepler was 'moved by an exceedingly powerful desire for knowledge of the heavens' when lead him to formulate ...

 

I think the last section is good. She told the story in order, and it is clear she knows the subject enough to write intelligently about it. It was a chronological narrative about a scientific discovery if I remember correct. It's fairly early in the program still and all that I am talking about will come in time. It wasn't meant to nit pick at all, just point out what I might say if I was correcting my own dc's work.

 

WWS has been a great program and really stretched their minds. I have really enjoyed it, but I must admit it took a while to truly love where we were headed with it. Initially I couldn't grasp the concept of taking someone else's notes and having them write a paper on it. They didn't CARE about the topic and knew next to nothing about it, but once I started adding in extra readings or youtube videos it helped immensely. My goal with them is to get them to be able to make a connection with their reader that engages them and makes them want to read further. I've been working a lot with transitions between paragraphs. Yesterday I came up with the analogy of taking their grandmother on a tour of a garden and being in the rose garden .. describing the roses, etc. then immediately jumping to the Zinnia beds without any transition. Something like, "The roses have been lovely this year, here is my prize winning red rose that is ... " "Zinnias are amazing you know .. we have blue, purple, red & yellow zinnias." lol. I said that grandma wouldn't be able to keep up with them moving at that pace, they needed to meander their way over to the Zinnia bed... perhaps prepare grandma a bit first. "While the roses have been amazing to grow this year, I must admit that my favorite part of the garden is the Zinnia bed." or something like that .. I think I came up with better versions on the fly yesterday. ha ha ..

 

Alright.. there is my two cents worth.

Edited June 4, 2012 by SaDonna

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

This is exactly what she needs to hear from somebody else. I am a broken record to her LOL. She needs fresh opinions :) Thank you!