12 year old, 7th grade paper

[Hot Lava Mama]

Writing prompt:

Write a paper about something you know how to do and explain why it is fun.

 

Essay:

 

Civ City Rome

 

Civ city Rome is a game where you are the governor and can build schools, temples, forts, house, and farms. You can control wages build wonders and army’s, and trade.

If you build an army and send them out to attack cities, they will not attack you anymore, because it becomes a friendly city. You can control almost everything in the city.

You can control wages, rations, and free/work time to make your people work all the time to trade and get money. If you do not pay them enough, they will get mad and leave, so you will not have anybody to work.

You can build famous monuments, like the Coliseum, and put on gladiator shows, or build the Circus Maxima and put on chariot races. If you build wonders, people will be happier, and come to your city.

It is unrealistic, because people can walk on water, go through buildings, and go right through each other. They will not go very far to move into a house.

Civ city Rome is a good game, because there can be riots, fires, and earthquakes, because it is realistic. You can build all kinds of buildings.

 

______________________

Thanks for your help. I have never had any evaluations done on his writing, so I am in the dark as to where he stands with writing.

Hot Lava Mama

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

I see comma misuse and a little work could be done on sentence and paragraph structure.

 

However, I think the author did a fairly good job of staying on topic.

 

Disclaimer: I know nothing of where children are supposed to be at what age. :D