funnygirl Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2012/02/12/on-passing-overcompensating-and-disability/ "...people with disabilities are never more disabled than when they are overcompensating." Wow. How many times a day do I see this played out at my house? When dd's frustration is through the roof, I'm certain it's because of failed overcompensation...she's trying so hard and it's not working and it drives her absolutely crazy. And how many times have I heard that annoying statement from my in-laws: "She was *fine* at our house..." DD overcomes her disability for a minute and everything else in her life has to be a comparison to that one moment when she was *fine*. Or my FAVORITE remark from her teachers through the years: "I whispered something yesterday and she HEARD me! I think she hears better than you think." Right, because that OBJECTIVE test called an audiogram is wrong. And because you have NO CLUE how much she is doing to get your message since she really can't hear it: reading your lips, watching for clues, sheer guessing. And you don't see how EXHAUSTED she is after working that hard all day to overcompensate for her disability. And you wonder why her behavior isn't stellar?? But you're right, I'm sure she *heard* you whisper. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2012/02/12/on-passing-overcompensating-and-disability/ "...people with disabilities are never more disabled than when they are overcompensating." Wow. How many times a day do I see this played out at my house? When dd's frustration is through the roof, I'm certain it's because of failed overcompensation...she's trying so hard and it's not working and it drives her absolutely crazy. And how many times have I heard that annoying statement from my in-laws: "She was *fine* at our house..." DD overcomes her disability for a minute and everything else in her life has to be a comparison to that one moment when she was *fine*. Or my FAVORITE remark from her teachers through the years: "I whispered something yesterday and she HEARD me! I think she hears better than you think." Right, because that OBJECTIVE test called an audiogram is wrong. And because you have NO CLUE how much she is doing to get your message since she really can't hear it: reading your lips, watching for clues, sheer guessing. And you don't see how EXHAUSTED she is after working that hard all day to overcompensate for her disability. And you wonder why her behavior isn't stellar?? But you're right, I'm sure she *heard* you whisper. :glare: First, :grouphug: I so understand & relate with the bolded statement. When my ADHD, SPD, Aspie ds was still in school, we dealt with that. After school, he would just go down to his room to decompress. My APD dd is still in ps & even though she doesn't have behavior issues you can tell when she comes home that she just 'lets go' for lack of a better phrase. It takes so much of her energy to make sure she is doing what she's supposed to be doing in the classroom or responding to questions in an appropriate way or hearing all of the directions etc. They have to work harder than most of the other kids & it is exhausting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Thank you for posting this article. My dd is in a sped preschool program, when she was diagnosed 4 weeks ago with high functioning autism we told the school. They said we don't believe that...it's because she works so so hard to be at school so they just see quirky, we see it all. She wants to be "normal" and tries very hard to approximate normal but that does show how much her autism effects her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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