Calling all geeks! Technical question about Windows Messenger

[BabyBre]

Ds (15) is spending a lot of time on Windows Messenger IMing with his friends and what not. I don't have reason to think anything inappropriate is going on other than when I walk in, he pops up a new screen to hide the conversation.

 

To be frank, I want to spy on his conversations without giving him the idea that I suspect him of doing anything wrong.

 

In Options - Messages (under his user name - I have his password because I helped him set up the account), there's a box you can check to save a history of your conversations to a specified file, but it's not saving them. Can anyone shed any light on what I'm doing wrong?

 

TIA!

[Kate CA]

Ds (15) is spending a lot of time on Windows Messenger IMing with his friends and what not. I don't have reason to think anything inappropriate is going on other than when I walk in, he pops up a new screen to hide the conversation.

 

To be frank, I want to spy on his conversations without giving him the idea that I suspect him of doing anything wrong.

 

In Options - Messages (under his user name - I have his password because I helped him set up the account), there's a box you can check to save a history of your conversations to a specified file, but it's not saving them. Can anyone shed any light on what I'm doing wrong?

 

TIA!

 

I would imagine he unchecked that box. It is easy to alter anything in Messenger. If it were me I would tell your child your concerns and ask that all conversations be such that you could walk in and read them at any time and that would be my rule. I am not into spying on one's child - I *am* into frankness and honesty. It is your house and your computer and you are right to have concerns for your son.

 

IM is not a "right" in my house any more than email or computer time. My girls use the computers but they know the rules and abide by them. Perhaps you need to have a serious frank conversation with your son. It is just too easy to get into trouble on the internet.

[BabyBre]

Didn't think I needed to state that I'm not looking for advice on whether I should spy on ds. It should suffice to say that there are all kinds of opinions out there and mine is that I should. I'm delighted that your kids don't lie to you, but mine happen to be human and this one is acting as though he's doing something he doesn't want me to know about. Now, in my experience that means I most definitely should know about it. (Sorry, I don't like getting snippy on these boards, but come on, a parenting lecture?)

 

So, that being said...He's not unchecking the box. He probably doesn't even know that little box exists and he doesn't know I've been snooping. If he did, it would be a fruitless effort.

 

I've designated a file to save his conversation history to but nothing's showing up there. Does anyone have experience with this feature of Messenger?

[Kate CA]

Didn't think I needed to state that I'm not looking for advice on whether I should spy on ds. It should suffice to say that there are all kinds of opinions out there and mine is that I should. I'm delighted that your kids don't lie to you, but mine happen to be human and this one is acting as though he's doing something he doesn't want me to know about. Now, in my experience that means I most definitely should know about it. (Sorry, I don't like getting snippy on these boards, but come on, a parenting lecture?)

 

So, that being said...He's not unchecking the box. He probably doesn't even know that little box exists and he doesn't know I've been snooping. If he did, it would be a fruitless effort.

 

I've designated a file to save his conversation history to but nothing's showing up there. Does anyone have experience with this feature of Messenger?

 

Wowsers, you totally misread me. Sorry for stepping on your toes! For the record I never even suggested that I had perfect kids or that they never lie to me. I wasn't saying I had all the answers. You post questions here you will get all sorts of responses and not always what you are looking for. Sorry mine was so offensive.

 

When you right click on the individual contacts you should be able to view the history of that contact. I know you can save to a file, but it obviously isn't doing that or he may know a lot more about Messenger than you think he does. Your best bet is to right click on the contact and read the files that concern you.

[fivetails]

I don't have reason to think anything inappropriate is going on other than when I walk in, he pops up a new screen to hide the conversation.

 

 

 

Do you have a rule in place about this type of action? Maybe it's time to make one if you don't - such as, "No online conversations that Mom can't read. Period." ....if he can't abide by this, them no IM. Have you confronted him about his apparent hiding of his conversation?

[BabyBre]

Thank you, Kate. After that little chewing out, I appreciate the info. I'll try right-clicking on the contacts.

 

Thanks to Claire in NM I figured out how to see the most recent conversation logs. I need to paste my file location that I've designated to save the logs in into my browser. It worked, but I could only see that current days' conversations. It could be that I only got the settings right that day, or that there were no other conversations set to be saved before then. I'll try right clicking.

 

And, please, no more parenting advice! I know this is a community of involved and concerned parents and because of that, they're very experienced with all things children. Since this kind of electronic instant type of conversation is very much a part of teenagers' lives these days (Ds is enrolled in public school, BTW, not by my choice and not that that means my hands are tied on this. I want him to feel connected to his group of friends and this is part of that, and one that I can monitor.), I felt I would have a better chance of receiving help here than through Microsoft. And I have! I still can't find any answers through Microsoft.

 

Thank you, all.

[Kate CA]

And, please, no more parenting advice! I know this is a community of involved and concerned parents and because of that, they're very experienced with all things children. Since this kind of electronic instant type of conversation is very much a part of teenagers' lives these days (Ds is enrolled in public school, BTW, not by my choice and not that that means my hands are tied on this. I want him to feel connected to his group of friends and this is part of that, and one that I can monitor.), I felt I would have a better chance of receiving help here than through Microsoft. And I have! I still can't find any answers through Microsoft.

 

Thank you, all.

 

I understand completely. I am sorry. I didn't mean to make it worse. :) Right clicking will usually show the entire history. Keep in mind that if the history gets full it will sometimes ask you if you want to delete it. If this happens on his watch he will know about the history. You should be able to delete it after you have read it to avoid this.

 

HTH!