Tested, Anxiety, Other issues, Now What??

[honeymommy4]

Ok, mamas,

I am so confused at this point! I have tried nearly every method of homeschooling for DS and nothing seems to work/click with him. He has behavioral issues that stem from anxiety and other things. He's been tested but so far only anxiety/mild OCD/anger is what is coming up. My mom was bi-polar. I've had my issues but nothing serious. So because of all this stuff going on, my family really wants me to send DS to school just to get a break for myself. I spend a lot of time on his issues, or DID, but am trying to back off of it. My other kids need my time.

 

background: DS is almost 8. he's just been tested for the 2nd time in his life. they test for everything. Full evlauation. NO learning problems, just slow process speed which is common in perfectionists, they tell me. boy is he ever one. everything else WAY above normal but not at the state/county gifted level where he would even get to excel in school.

 

Problem? He's constantly causing problems at home. he can be the sweetest kid but also very mean. he will instigate problems when he feels like it. We were thinking he did them to get to me! now we don't know.

 

Basically he does not want to do ANY school. NOTHING. How did we get this far? by changing often because things wouldn't work any more. we are using a reward system now but that is slow moving. (Do I reward doing each & every subject?? ) He can sit down and compose/write an entire thank you note, but can't get through one worksheet of handwriting. We KNOW it is not a learning problem, writing, etc. he proves all that wrong other times, on his terms. He does not want to GO to school at all. Most school days I have to "drag" him out of bed at 8:30. no reason for it. Christmas break he would get up earlier. He slept til 9:30 this morning

 

The other part of this is his "mind" i guess! He told us today he does not want to celebrate his b-day. When we ask why he will give reasons but if you overcome those reasons there are always others or he just says "I don't know.". says he now does not like birthdays. he does not want to get any older because 7 is his favorite number. So I am not planning a party. It goes on and on. this is just ONE thing I deal with with him. I am really letting it go - he's seeing a psych soon but it's just in the beginning stages and I feel it is moving WAY too slow. like he almost needs medication.

 

If he is left to himself all day he won't do much of ANYTHING. My Dad says to just put him in school. he says he needs the competition. he's just not competitive though. If he thinks he is losing a board game he will quit. (we don't always let him) he'll just do literally NOTHING. We were using an online school but I think i am going to have to quit that because I can't even get him to do the basic stuf that they hand in just to get thru the rest of the year! I was going to try some Ray's Arithmetic and maybe AO readings to get them interested in "stuff". ANYTHING!

 

The problem is it really does wear me down. By the end of the day, even if we have distractions like a field trip, etc. I am just worn out mentally. I can't think to make dinner or get the house even tidy. I just CAN't THINK! I really wonder if it is him that is draining my mental energy. Wondering if this is what dealing with bi-polar is like and not meant for someone to deal with on their own. I don't know that he is bi-polar but we got a half-diagnosis for OCD and not thinking it is really that.

 

Any ideas what to do? I am considering trying to get in touch with a psychiatrist. because of the testing results we were referred to a psychologist. only had 2 meetings so far, not getting anywhere with her.

we do a GF diet but it only seems to work SOME of the time. My 2nd DS doesn't have nearly as many issues but DD seems to be following in his footsteps. DS #3 is very focused. So maybe it is every other child? If I have 2 of these kids I don't know what I will do!!

thanks for reading!

Edited January 3, 2012 by honeymommy4

[Tiramisu]

We've had one with some similarities. She went through a depression due to serious circumstances out of our control. She was a nightmare to homeschool during that time because she was so disruptive to family functioning. She was the one I always said I wouldn't want to homeschool but would have to. Then I found out the opposite was true. She got so down, that after trying everything else--medical tests, a SAD lamp, counselling, omega 3's--I put her in school to try to see if that would change anything. She made a big turnaround immediately. It wouldn't have worked if she didn't want to go to school, I realize, and we are fortunate to have a great school in our neighborhood. At the same time, if you had asked me in a year ago September if my dd would be in school that January, I would have said, "Over my dead body!"

 

I now see this dd does very well if she is kept occupied in a structured environment. She excels in school and is now happy. Instead of stirring up trouble like she did at home, her teachers call her "a role model" for good behavoir. I would never have believed it.

 

Anyway, this drastic move showed me that for dd medication wasn't necessary. If the experiment didn't work, we may have had to go that route. I'm thankful we had a decent school option, and through this episode I did get to understand dd's needs a little better.

[honeymommy4]

OK mama this is still good to know. We have an appt. with the school tomorrow afternoon. it was the only time i could get him in. I used break to try and research other options. don't know yet...

[Walking-Iris]

Wow your ds sounds just like my nearly 9 year old ds.

 

Homeschooling is a nightmare sometimes. I feel like I have to force him every morning to do the basics--and my dream of a grand family learning adventure is gone.

 

I seesaw about meds and ps (our only option is a very crowded sensory overloaded ps---so I don't want to do that to him)

 

It's hard when you really want to homeschool and a child is making it difficult. You can tweak curriculum, schedules, routines etc until you feel like you're drowning.

 

:grouphug: