If you had a high school dc that just does the minimum...

[5LittleMonkeys]

were you able to get them to a point where they started to stretch themselves, get interested and go beyond just getting done?

[regentrude]

not high school yet, but DS12 is a minimalist.

While he was in ps, he was not engaged at all, did the bare minimum. When I brought him home, it was a huge change because we let him choose what he wanted to work on. I found that an almost unschooling approach with minimal restrictions works best for him. If he can work on a topic of his choice, he is interested and invested and goes above and beyond. I'll try to harness this energy as much as possible.

[Rhonda in TX]

I'm still waiting for my DS to reach that, but I can tell you about a friend of mine. He graduated from high school with a C average. However, he wanted to go to medical school, so he buckled down in college. He graduated from college with a 4.0, majoring in biochemistry. He went to medical school and is now a very successful pediatrician. So, yes, it can happen.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I'm still waiting for my DS to reach that, but I can tell you about a friend of mine. He graduated from high school with a C average. However, he wanted to go to medical school, so he buckled down in college. He graduated from college with a 4.0, majoring in biochemistry. He went to medical school and is now a very successful pediatrician. So, yes, it can happen.

 

Well, that's extremely encouraging.:001_smile: This is actually my husbands thought too...that once they get close to college or to college they will find a passion and pursue it. You can't lead a horse to water and all.

[5LittleMonkeys]

not high school yet, but DS12 is a minimalist.

While he was in ps, he was not engaged at all, did the bare minimum. When I brought him home, it was a huge change because we let him choose what he wanted to work on. I found that an almost unschooling approach with minimal restrictions works best for him. If he can work on a topic of his choice, he is interested and invested and goes above and beyond. I'll try to harness this energy as much as possible.

 

What do you do about meeting high school requirements, assuming you live in an area or are with a cover school that follows state requirements?

 

Have you found a workable solution to those subjects you need to do but that he isn't interested in?

 

I can see doing this with my dc for certain subjects; electives would be no problem. We will probably have 4 credits in art for one dc and 4 credits in music for another but I'm not sure how to handle things like history (we have the typical World History, Am. History, Econ.and Gov. requirements) or science (typical 3 lab sciences with a traditional list to choose from).

[regentrude]

What do you do about meeting high school requirements, assuming you live in an area or are with a cover school that follows state requirements?

 

Have you found a workable solution to those subjects you need to do but that he isn't interested in?

 

As I said, he is not in high school yet - but even now, he has to cover all core subjects. No discussion about that. 45-60 minutes of math is mandatory daily.

However, I let him choose when he wants to work on which subject for how long. He has a list of "approved" materials to use and I am willing to negotiate substitutions. he gets to choose topic for his writing assignments and history projects - which I also do with my academically motivated DD. I involve them as much as possible and give as much freedom as I can.

I try to put a different spin on subjects, depending on the kid. I know already that my son is very interested in military history and battles, so his history courses will be from this angle (whereas DD's were heavy on literature and art). I know that he has no interest in biology except for micro; so we will focus more on cellular biology and genetics, and spend less time on classification and various organisms. I think there is quite some freedom within the framework of traditional coursework to adjust priorities and focus (and you could go far out of the box if your child is so inclined).

 

Subjects he does not love, he still has to do. Only, I don't expect him to go above and beyond in those - I settle for meeting requirements.

 

We discuss college and future careers on a regular basis. DH and I are both teaching at a four year university, and our kids know what they need to do in order to be prepared, what knowledge and skills and work ethic is necessary. Certain things are already ingrained in them, LOL.

Edited December 14, 2011 by regentrude

[Greta Lea]

At that age, he still just did the minimum work (I keep it to a minimum to leave room for further study of ANY topic *if* they choose), but he seemed to become more excited about what he was learning that year.

 

Then last year, when he was 16/17 (b/day in March), I *really* saw a change. It all started when he began reading the Uncle Eric books for gov/econ. He started looking stuff up on the internet and in some other books we have. He even would refer back to the history books he has used the year before (A History of US).

 

We started using *only* living books for science when he was 15/16yo (his 9th grade year). He studied zoology that year. Since he has a passion for animals, he went way beyond the assigned readings a few times that year.

 

I probably don't require near the amount of formal academic writing that other folks do, but he likes to write short stories and is now working on a graphic novel story line. Making sure he has time for that keeps him motivated to write more.

 

I'm editing to add that I just remembered that he was 9th grade (15/16 for him) when we tried Fallacy Detective. Oh.My.Word. He hated it! He ranted and raved that he was NOT gonna live his life by LOGIC...of all things!

 

I put that book away, since it was obvious he would get nothing out of with such an extreme negative attitude towards the entire subject of logic at that piont. Wellll...fast forward to this year, 2 years later, when I bring out the book again. He LOVES it. Tells everyone that logic is his "new hobby" (which is kinda driving the rest of us crazy!LOL).

 

Sometimes they just need room to mature *and* we need to make sure we are giving them topics, books and materials that are suitable for THEIR *thinking* and *reasoning* skills at that time.

 

HTH

Edited December 14, 2011 by Greta Lea

[regentrude]

I probably don't require near the amount of formal academic writing that other folks do, but he likes to write short stories and is now working on a graphic novel story line. Making sure he has time for that keeps him motivated to write more.

 

Interesting that you should mention this. I do not require much formal writing either - but DS spends several house daily working on his fantasy novels. he does not have to do it, it's not "school" - but I know that he practices his writing ;-)

[5LittleMonkeys]

I try to put a different spin on subjects, depending on the kid. I know already that my son is very interested in military history and battles, so his history courses will be from this angle (whereas DD's were heavy on literature and art). I know that he has no interest in biology except for micro; so we will focus more on cellular biology and genetics, and spend less time on classification and various organisms. I think there is quite some freedom within the framework of traditional coursework to adjust priorities and focus (and you could go far out of the box if your child is so inclined). I'll start to look more at how to do this. So, for example, we cover the basics in something like Am. History, not spending too much time on topics she finds uninteresting. Instead we would find some aspect of Am. History that does peak her interest and spend more time investigating that.

 

Subjects he does not love, he still has to do. Only, I don't expect him to go above and beyond in those - I settle for meeting requirements.So, we don't need to go all out in all subjects. That sounds very realistic.

 

We discuss college and future careers on a regular basis. DH and I are both teaching at a four year university, and our kids know what they need to do in order to be prepared, what knowledge and skills and work ethic is necessary. Certain things are already ingrained in them, LOL.

 

Thanks for your input!

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

Sometimes they just need room to mature *and* we need to make sure we are giving them topics, books and materials that are suitable for THEIR *thinking* and *reasoning* skills at that time.

 

HTH

 

I'm probably the reason I feel stressed right now. I think I may not have realistic expectations. My oldest is very mature in her behavior and actions so I sometimes feel that she should be able to handle more mature academics too. She's 8th this year, so, well into the "logic" stage, but I don't think she is really there in regards to her thinking and reasoning. My 6th grader is definitely not there and I suspect may not be until well into high school. I suppose I really need to adjust my expectations and trust that they will begin analyzing and digging deeper when they are developmentally ready.

 

Interesting that you should mention this. I do not require much formal writing either - but DS spends several house daily working on his fantasy novels. he does not have to do it, it's not "school" - but I know that he practices his writing ;-)

Formal writing? What's that? :tongue_smilie: This is another of their, get it done, it's good enough subject. When I ask if they want to work on polishing an assignment I'm greeted with, "That wasn't on the rubric." :glare: However, since I backed off of the "You have to be writing essays by the end of the year!" rant, they both have taken to writing more fanfic and dd12 showed me the other day, character analyses of anime characters. She didn't know they were analyses of coarse. Just to clarify, I didn't back off because of any wise epiphany or anything...it was just from the pure emotional\mental exhaustion.:tongue_smilie:

[AHASRADA]

Outside accountability.

 

At least for my ds. Our personalities are very similar. Both of us begin with the intention to work hard and do our absolute best, but when push comes to shove, we take the easy way out if there aren't any real (or too painful) consequences. If we are being judged by others, however, we go above and beyond. Externally motivated to a fault, we are.

 

When mom was the only one evaluating his work, it was easier for him to let certain things slide (the hard, time-consuming assignments). I am also guilty of allowing him to brush off certain assignments (usually essay writing and research papers) because I'm not thrilled with going through the painful exercise of teaching these tedious skills.

 

Now that he is enrolled in distance learning courses, he has to stick to deadlines, but most importantly, he is putting in long hours creating quality work because he wants good grades. I am also pushed to stay up late and work with him on weekends to proofread, offer suggestions and help him stay on track, because I no longer have the final authority to let him put things off until it is more convenient.

 

This has been an exhausting and painful transition in many ways, but I believe an important step toward preparation for learning at a higher level. At least, in our case.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Would you mind telling me which you use so I have somewhere to start in researching distance learning?

 

Thanks!

[memphispeg]

"At least for my ds. Our personalities are very similar. Both of us begin with the intention to work hard and do our absolute best, but when push comes to shove, we take the easy way out if there aren't any real (or too painful) consequences.

 

When mom was the only one evaluating his work, it was easier for him to let certain things slide (the hard, time-consuming assignments). I am also guilty of allowing him to brush off certain assignments (usually essay writing and research papers) because I'm not thrilled with going through the painful exercise of teaching these tedious skills.

 

Now that he is enrolled in distance learning courses, he has to stick to deadlines, but most importantly, he is putting in long hours creating quality work because he wants good grades. I am also pushed to stay up late and work with him on weekends to proofread, offer suggestions and help him stay on track, because I no longer have the final authority to let him put things off until it is more convenient."

 

This is not the case for my dd. Life would be easier. We started late with homeschooling but, I try to spin our required work more towards her learning/product style. She seems to be reaching for "internal" motivation. I think she'd like to discover what and where it is before she goes off to college. She will not compete for the sake of competing (older dd did, tho). I have gotten some surprisingly quality work in areas where I did not expect it. I try to keep her open-minded about her skills/talents by incorporating new kinds of assignments into our required subjects. Public school taught her to jump through the hoops which gave her no joy. I am trying to have her see that there is joy in there somewhere, you just have to find it. oops prattling need more coffee.....

Edited December 14, 2011 by memphispeg
quotation enclosure

[AHASRADA]

Would you mind telling me which you use so I have somewhere to start in researching distance learning?

 

Thanks!

 

Oh, there are so many! Depending on whether you want credit from an accredited institution, or simply someone else to provide feedback, if you want basic assignment correction, or hand-holding along the way.

 

Currenly, we are using:

 

Oak Meadow - expensive, individualized attention/relationship with teacher

Keystone - online, quality traditional courses, basic grading, but teachers available for questions/suggestions

American School - cheap, basic grading, credit, no teacher relationship

(these are all accredited by the big regional assocs.)

 

Also:

Hewitt Homeschool - quarterly grading with detailed progress report, addresses different learning styles (not accredited)

Kolbe Academy - grading up to 12 items of your choice per quarter, parent retains final authority for grades & curriculum (accredited as a private Catholic school)

 

Memoria Press offers individual classes with no credit, but provides feedback.

 

Write at Home also gives no credit, but allows you to outsource writing instruction with feedback from an impartial 3rd party.

 

Of course, there are others, but these are the ones I'm familiar with.

 

Best of luck!

[Amy in CO]

My dd, 16, has struggled with doing only the minimum (or not even that) for most of her schooling. But this year, she is in 11th, she has turned around. She is finally getting excited about things, running to me to share what she has learned. It has been wonderful. For her it was a maturity thing. I also backed off and stopped insisting that she fit a mold that she just couldn't fit. She is studying zoology this year for science, and loving it. We have changed her history, to more fit her interests and abilities. Now I am seeing her work all day, happily. She gets the things done in the morning that she hates (math and English), and then just spends hours on history and science, learning and exploring. It has been a wonderful change to witness.

[laughing lioness]

were you able to get them to a point where they started to stretch themselves, get interested and go beyond just getting done?

 

My oldest was not (and still doesn't) stretch herself just because someone else tells her to. She has done very cool and amazing things but they have been on her terms, in her timing. She did not go through a typical course of study though she can tell you about the Royal families of Europe in great detail and living color, knows vast amounts of history and English grammar, is fluent in ASL and conversant in Hungarian and Romanian and has an incredible literary repertoire.

 

Was homeschooling stressful? Yes. The pressure between what I knew she could do and what she would do, what my dh and I had agreed on would get done and that vast looming "future world" of PSAT's, college apps, etc. was very, very stressful.

 

In the last 8 years she has gone back and forth from Europe, will graduate from college this spring with no debt (she did make the Dean's list several times, as well as getting "D's" 2 semesters so same old thing), has a serious boyfriend and worked p.t. to pay for her apartment. Despite all of the angst, she is a functioning member of society.

[memphispeg]

Laughing Lioness - Sounds a lot like my dd. I keep telling her that life is interesting...and that she WILL be able to be as adventurous as she dreams of being. It is just a matter of these few hoops.......ACT, GPA, Physics and Calculus.....

[5LittleMonkeys]

Oh, there are so many! Depending on whether you want credit from an accredited institution, or simply someone else to provide feedback, if you want basic assignment correction, or hand-holding along the way.

 

Currenly, we are using:

 

Oak Meadow - expensive, individualized attention/relationship with teacher

Keystone - online, quality traditional courses, basic grading, but teachers available for questions/suggestions

American School - cheap, basic grading, credit, no teacher relationship

(these are all accredited by the big regional assocs.)

 

Also:

Hewitt Homeschool - quarterly grading with detailed progress report, addresses different learning styles (not accredited)

Kolbe Academy - grading up to 12 items of your choice per quarter, parent retains final authority for grades & curriculum (accredited as a private Catholic school)

 

Memoria Press offers individual classes with no credit, but provides feedback.

 

Write at Home also gives no credit, but allows you to outsource writing instruction with feedback from an impartial 3rd party.

 

Of course, there are others, but these are the ones I'm familiar with.

 

Best of luck!

 

Thanks for the list...off to research!

 

 

Thanks to everyone too for chiming in. It seems there are many factors in play : Maturity, allowing dc to follow their own interests as much as possible within the scope of requirements, some dc respond best to outside accountability. I'll be considering all of these and also adjusting my expectations.

[laughing lioness]

Laughing Lioness - Sounds a lot like my dd. I keep telling her that life is interesting...and that she WILL be able to be as adventurous as she dreams of being. It is just a matter of these few hoops.......ACT, GPA, Physics and Calculus.....

 

You're a better woman than I. I never got her past Alg I or Bio.