gnann Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My fourteen-year-old wrote this poem last year after studying the ancient classics. She wrote it of her own accord. (It was not an assignment.) It did not place in our library's annual poetry contest. (The prizes seemed to go to poems of a more lighthearted nature.) I want to encourage her to continue writing poetry. I like her poem. I think it shows understanding of the epic poems that we read. We would appreciate your comments. Lament for Troy We are the walls of Troy, we have been for many years And we have seen our peoples' joys, hopes, and fears. Surely it must have been a scene from some other life Paris dancing home though our gates with his newlywed wife. For now, in our streets, shouts are calling-- Achaeans in the city, Troy is falling. Was it really ten years ago that we First sighted Greek ships crossing the sea? Ten years ago Hector, a smile on his face Strapped on his armor for battle and left with easy grace. Ten years since the Achaeans first jumped from their ships Running to our city, battle cries on their lips. Since those days, we've seen too many fights. Trojans falling while defending our proud heights. And Greeks avenging their wronged king. Weapons clashing, shields flashing, fierce battling. We saw Hector slay Patroclus, Achilles' best friend. And in turn witnessed Hector meet his own end. Too much violence, too much gore Since Menelaus, in pursuit of Paris, first arrived on our shore. And since last morning when they saw the Greeks sail away on the wind's breath, The Trojans have been oblivious to the oncoming death. We alone saw through the trap devised by the cunning Greek. But we are nothing but stone and so we cannot speak. And now through our gates, Aeneas and his family take flight, For the Achaeans have struck in the dead of the night. Our people would defend Troy at all cost, But there's no saving the city, not now, it's lost. And King Priam, who we remember as a laughing young man, just crowned Can he really be now lying dead on the ground? Our city was once like him, young and laughing, but now it will fade, Lost forever, crushed beneath those who invade. But we'll wake in the morning, in the new dawn. And, standing alone, wait as life carries on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I thought it was pretty good. I hope she continues to write. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnann Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Thank you for your encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think it's awesome!!! She's a talented writer and should definitely continue!!! :) You may want to ask her permission to post it on the general boards as I'm sure lots of moms would love to have it to read with their kids. Very cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnann Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thank you very much for the encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 You're welcome. It's sincere. :) I have a feeling that a lot of writing contests have more to do with the topic and it's popularity than on the quality of the writing. ;) JMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I have a feeling that a lot of writing contests have more to do with the topic and it's popularity than on the quality of the writing. ;) JMO Also - not to make the OP paranoid' date=' but just to bring it up for her consideration - some writing contests tend to overlook on purpose [i']unusually good[/i] writing. Why? Because of that silly reasoning that if it is too good to be true, it may not be true. In other words, they doubt the authenticity of the work, and these things are VERY hard to prove in any definite way, so they feel more secure by just overlooking these unusually good works, or awarding them a lower placement. I know, sounds crazy, but it DOES happen now and then, which is why one should never take too seriously these types of competitions. Your daughter's work is excellent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakimberly Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Yes, Ester Maria- I was accused of plagiarizing in 9th grade because my history teacher said my writing was "too gramatically correct". Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Yes, Ester Maria- I was accused of plagiarizing in 9th grade because my history teacher said my writing was "too gramatically correct". Seriously. Insane. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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