Advice on Being a Mother-In-Law

[lllll]

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Edited December 19, 2012 by ksva

[AuntieM]

I could not agree more - be who you are! My mil is a dear lady, but it is hard to know who she really is. She intended to be a good role model, I suppose, but made me feel as if being a good wife and mother were competitive sports in which nothing short of dutiful perfection would be acceptable. To my own fault, I spent many years striving to live up to her expectations. Me coming to my senses has been liberating for me, but it has left a tear in our relationship. So be yourself. Don't try to "model" anything to her - that's been the job of her own mum. And respect, that's essential. Get to know her as you would any new friend, don't treat her like a child. I'll also just say amen to all the other great suggestions already listed.

 

My MIL and I didn't really get along for a good 12 years of my marriage. We didn't argue or anything like that. I'm not sure how she felt about me, I found her to be exasperating and very difficult to get to know. Though she never said anything, I felt like there were waves of disapproval coming my way. And we never, ever got beyond surface conversation like, "My! Isn't it a lovely day!" About 10 minutes into a visit with her, there was nothing more to say.

 

And then she invited me to go shopping with her and her friend. And for the First Time Ever, she acted like a normal person. Instead of being disapproving and stiff, she and her friend were cracking jokes and cackling and being total goof-balls! And I LOVED it!

 

And now, my MIL and I go shopping and to movies and out to lunch and talk for hours and hours and hours.

 

 

I guess she was finally "real" with me. The last 7 years have been awesome and I consider her one of my best friends.