TrixieB Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Starting a new thread because the old one became more discussion of how to handle posting the samples rather than the samples themselves. 13yo girl, 7th grade R&S assignment: Write a descriptive paragraph about (choice of several subjects given), using exact nouns and expressive verbs. Use figurative language in at least one sentence. Student chose "a flower garden" for the subject. The paragraph below is unedited. ************ The early-morning sun washed the garden in clear light. Dew rainbows shimmered on the heavy violet heads of a clump of hyacinths. Daffodills flashed their yellow stars amid bunches of flat leaves, and nearby a robin hopped on the moist earth beside a cluster of scarlet primroses. At the edge of the garden a fringe of irises stood, stretching new green buds toward the sky. A forsythia bush swayed overhead. Already it had shed most of its golden blooms, but a few odd ones remained, immersed in tooth-edged leaves. ************ She didn't indent the paragraph (ugh, after all the drilling R&S has given over the years) and misspelled "daffodils" but I think she met all the assignment requirements -- though, should there be a topic sentence? Or does the first sentence work as a topic sentence here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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