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s/o World History Final Exam - give us your (humorous) answers!

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I e-mailed the qu's home to hubby and middle son. They had fun trying to outdo the students here. I got a kick out of their answers. Wanna play? What are your answers??? (NOTE: QUIT READING IF humor on these things bugs you.)


-----------------------My guys answers (middle son and hubby)


_______ just took the test. Here are some of his answers (with a little help from me):


1. What is Michelangelo famous for? Didn't he invent the pizza?


2. What did Columbus discover? The world isn't flat - pay up.


3. What did Johannes Gutenburg invent? Wasn't there a blimp named after him?


4. What did a conquistador do? Isn't that a Taco Bell dish? If it is I can guess what it does and it isn't pretty.


5. What is Martin Luther famous for? Not sure but isn't Monday a holiday for him?


6. What did Sir Isaac Newton discover? Apples hurt.


7. Who was Napoleon? Short dude with an inferiority complex.


8. What is the guillotine? Food processor - It Slices, It Dices, ...


9. Who was Marie Antoinette? Some lady who lost her head in a food processor accident.


10. Where did the industrial revolution begin? Child labor of course.


11. What is Communism? Where everyone sits down and shares a meal.


12. What event started WWI? One kid pushed another and the rest is history.


13. What countries were involved in WWI? Obviously all of them. Why else would it be called a "World War!"


14. Who was Adolph Hitler? Vegetarian, Artist, Teetotaler, Motivational Speaker, and another short dude with an inferiority complex.


15. What led to WWII? See answer to #12.


16. What caused the Cold War to begin? First an Alberta Clipper came through then someone threw a snowball.


17. What was the significance of Sputnik? Small potatoes. Weren't they created by McDonalds?


18. What was the holocaust? Not sure. The Iranian President says it never happened.


19. Who is the leader of Al-Qaeda? Is that another Taco Bell dish but served in the Middle East?


20. What is a major obstacle to peace between Israeli's and the Palestinians? They won't quit pushing each other (see #12). Also there is the section in the Bible of wars and rumors of wars...



So how did he (we) do? Isn't homeschooling great!

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You sound like someone whose entire family might love Non Campus Mentis: World History According to College Students From the Stoned Age to the Canadian Missle Crisis, Joan of Ark to the fall of the Berlin Mall. It's put together by Anders Henriksson, and it's hilarious -- and frightening, when you think of college kids writing this stuff.


A couple of excerpts:

Germany's William II had a chimp on his shoulder and therefore had to ride his horse with only one hand.


The Wholely Roman Empire amazed many when it was found in Germany. The Kievan state was wreaked by civil war because Prince Vladimir had more sons than needed, a result of several wives and many columbines.


Caesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March when he is reported to have said, "Me too, Brutus!"

Edited by Guest
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Michaelangelo? Didn't he act in some movie directed by Leonardo?


Columbus? He directs or produces the Harry Potter Films


Gutenburg? He appeared in the wildly popular Ghostbuster movies


Conquistado? He's either the president of Mexico or it's a tamale that gave me indigestion last week.


Martin Luther? He had a dream.


Newton? He invented the Fig.


Napoleon? A pastry with bavarian cream between the layers and white and milk chocolate drizzled over the top. Very yummy!


Guillotine? A nicotine gum


Marie Antoinette? The first royal member to utilize nicotine gum


Industrial Revolution? When Sally Fields formed the first union.


Communism? A type of Cuban Cigar


WWI? Germany spit at France, France screamed "Sacre Bleu, invaders, encrochers!" and Britain decided that though they really hate France, they couldn't abide the spitting.


Countries involved in this war? Well, everybody including Israel.


Hitler? He created the show, "Hogan's Heroes".


WWII? More spitting


Cold War? Global Warming caused glaciers and icebergs to melt thereby lowering the ocean's temperatures. Russia blamed the United States and the US blamed Russia. No one could get along.


Sputink? He was the first rapper.


Holocaust - The total cost of religious artifacts.


Al-Qaeda? He replaced the weather man on the NBC morning show.


Israel and Palestine? Dodgeball....it all started with a really vicious game of dodgeball.



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Cute answers - and yes, we might get a kick out of the book, but it's sad to know it's probably not made up. No one from the 2nd class got 100% either.


However, I discovered that Hitler not only found new lands, he also is the current leader of Al-Qaeda (and historians wondered what happened to him!).


Then there's the "Sixteen Chapel" as well as the "Christine Chapel" that Michelangelo painted.


And... Communism means you're a communist! (among other things)


School is done now so I can't type all the responses. There are probably enough here to make a reasonable sized short story.


It's a good thing the low academic level kids didn't have to take the final. I can only imagine the answers there.

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