She's coming home for her senior year!

[swimmermom3]

My oldest child, my 17yo dd, has decided to finish her high school education at home.:willy_nilly:

 

Several of you are familiar with our circumstances and my dd has given her permission to share the situation in hopes that the hive will be able to help us choose the best path. It helps that she has met the fabulous Nicole M. in person and thinks Ms. Nicole is ultra-cool.:D

 

Dd was diagnosed with severe depression at the beginning of her sophomore year. School is the main source of her depression. She is a bright, inquisitive person who does not test well and who struggles with being chained to a desk for hours on end. We missed the later clue because she appears easy-going and compliant. Her semester grades bounce back and forth between brilliant and barely able to stay in school. In retrospect, the school issues probably started in 6th grade. One teacher pointed out that dd had been smart enough to get by without developing some of the basic study skills. This lack of skills coupled with depression has made high school a difficult road.

 

I had hoped to bring her home last year for her junior year to do remedial work in the skills area; however, one of the big concerns in dealing with depression is the social aspect and not isolating them from their peers. Both the psychiatrist (loathsome) and the counselor (terrific) strongly encouraged dd to stay at ps and she agreed as she is a social butterfly.

 

Fast-forward to this year, her senior year. She is in a Catch 22 situation. Her schedule for ps hs includes Senior Inquiry and AP English Language. Intellectually she is capable of handling the coursework, but emotionally and organizationally, she is not. The doctor recommended she take only bonehead classes just to get her diploma and get out. That doesn’t sit well with her either.

 

This is our tentative plan and we really need feedback:

 

1. Get a job. This is a good time in our area to do this as kids head to college. DD has little work experience and feels that this would give her new skills, some social outlet, and some feeling of independence while still living at home. She has always been frugal with her money but we would focus on money management, budgeting, and saving. She would work part time.

 

2. Finish required courses at home which include math and one Lit and Comp course. The focus would be on strengthening dd’s math, reading, and writing skills and preparing for the SAT. We’ll deal with elective hours later. I believe she would be able to take two semester courses from a favorite teacher at the ps: Social Anthropology and Religion and Philosophy. We’ll work on the study and organizational skills as well. We’ll need 18months, not 12 months, to accomplish this.

 

3. Join Masters swim team. Dd turns 18 in the fall which makes her eligible for the masters swim team. She misses the self-discipline and sense of achievement that club swimming provided but does not want to return to that intense of an environment. Masters would give her coaching, competition, and camaraderie without intense pressure.

 

What are our options for her credentials? Will she need to get her GED? Can I issue a diploma if she finishes her coursework with me? I have hung around on the high school board enough that I feel like I should know these answers but I only know what to do working within the local ps’s parameters. I have had homeschool high school envy for the past year and now that my chance is here, I think I feel a bit ill.:tongue_smilie:

Your suggestions and feedback would be most welcome. We are leaving for a family vacation in a few days and I feel like I need to get things moving.

[Nicole M]

This is so exciting!

 

:party:

 

I don't have much time to post, but wanted to encourage you. Gosh, this sounds just wonderful, and I think the work / swim / school plan sounds perfect. My son does not have a GED or diploma, but is on his way to college. So I don't know. Depends, I think, on what her plans are after HS. Hopefully others can weigh in.

 

Tell her we are so happy for her at the M household, and wish you both all the best.

 

(PS: The Japanese CDs arrived in the mail yesterday. I totally forgot you were going to send them. Thank you!)

[swimmermom3]

This is so exciting!

 

:party:

 

I don't have much time to post, but wanted to encourage you. Gosh, this sounds just wonderful, and I think the work / swim / school plan sounds perfect. My son does not have a GED or diploma, but is on his way to college. So I don't know. Depends, I think, on what her plans are after HS. Hopefully others can weigh in.

 

Tell her we are so happy for her at the M household, and wish you both all the best.

 

(PS: The Japanese CDs arrived in the mail yesterday. I totally forgot you were going to send them. Thank you!)

 

Thanks so much! When will my knees quit knocking together and my hands quit shaking? It's not the caffeine. This much I know.:tongue_smilie:

[PollyOR]

Lisa just wanted to give you a :grouphug:. I understand where you are coming from. Your comment about the psych. and counselor cracked me up. I think the trick will be finding balance between keeping up the social contact but not filling her schedule too full to where she becomes overwhelmed/stressed again.

 

The community college here offers a high school diploma. My oldest refused the GED and the comm. college's high school diploma options. She started taking comm. college classes as soon she turned 18. After earning her AA from the comm. college she registered at the University. They asked for a high school diploma. DD went to them and explained that she didn't have one but she had finished her two year degree from the comm. college. They were fine with that.;)

 

Personally, getting a job is what lit a fire under me to "want" to return to school. I loathed college before that. Once I had worked a couple of low paying jobs, I was very happy to work towards getting my college degree.

 

Good luck!

[Guest ME-Mommy]

Second the community college idea...it's worth looking into.

 

Here in Maine, Juniors and Seniors in HS can take up to 2 courses a year tuition FREE...and they are dual credit -- meaning HS and College.

 

Does your state offer anything like that??

[Guest]

It's really, really scary to move away from the traditional path, particularly in high school, because you feel that every decision you and your child make "counts" so much more than it does when they're little in terms of influencing their future.

 

It might be very helpful for both of you to look at the website for Clonlara's homeschool program (it's an umbrella school). Their high school program has three different paths, one of which focuses on just that combination of required academics and a job or internship that your daughter is leaning toward. Clonlara is accredited, so the three tracks are all considered perfectly legitimate educational choices, all challenging in their own way. Whether or not you ever use their services (transcripts/credits/diploma), just seeing how they lay out different educational possibilities might encourage you and make you feel your choices are not so outrageously different as you might fear.

 

Then I'd encourage you and your daughter both to take a look at some books about educational possibilities. Grace Llewellyn's books are classics but so very different from the norm that you might find them too radical. There are also books like Ken Robinson's Elements or Cal Newport's How to Be a High School Superstar. The problem with books like this is that they tend to focus on kids whose achievements tend to be -- surprise -- very academic in orientation although outside the high school subject matter or experience norms; but they do make an argument for the importance of a teen's understanding of her own abilities and interests and for the fact that a typical high school does not fulfill the needs of many, many young adults.

 

Another interesting set of books is the homeschooling set by David H. Albert. His tone can sometimes really set my teeth on edge, and one of his daughters is seriously brilliant and the things she does have no relation whatever to what my daughter gets up to; but what I really love about his take on education is that he stresses getting kids over twelve out in the community working with adults as a VITAL part of what education should be. Of his three books, Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery has probably the most material on the teenage years.

 

I personally think both you and your daughter sound as though you have a whole ton of common sense and thoughtfulness. The single thing you need to do is get rid of that boatload of panic and realize the legitimacy of the choices you are making.

 

P.S. DO NOT spend your vacation stressing over this!!! Put it aside, relax, enjoy your family.

Edited August 3, 2010 by Guest

[Teachin'Mine]

I'm so happy for both of you!!! :)

 

No BTDT advice, but the part time work sounds really good for some positive socialization, and has been mentioned, motivation. :)

[swimmermom3]

Lisa just wanted to give you a :grouphug:. I understand where you are coming from. Your comment about the psych. and counselor cracked me up. I think the trick will be finding balance between keeping up the social contact but not filling her schedule too full to where she becomes overwhelmed/stressed again.

 

The community college here offers a high school diploma. My oldest refused the GED and the comm. college's high school diploma options. She started taking comm. college classes as soon she turned 18. After earning her AA from the comm. college she registered at the University. They asked for a high school diploma. DD went to them and explained that she didn't have one but she had finished her two year degree from the comm. college. They were fine with that.;)

 

Personally, getting a job is what lit a fire under me to "want" to return to school. I loathed college before that. Once I had worked a couple of low paying jobs, I was very happy to work towards getting my college degree.

 

Good luck!

 

Second the community college idea...it's worth looking into.

 

Here in Maine, Juniors and Seniors in HS can take up to 2 courses a year tuition FREE...and they are dual credit -- meaning HS and College.

 

Does your state offer anything like that??

 

Thank you both for the community college tip. Polly, your dd's expereince is an interesting one. A while back, a dear friend that I greatly admire had finished her masters in library science. While we were discussing her path to that end, I discovered that she had dropped out of high school and then later started taking classes at the CC. At some point, someone asked about her diploma but by then she had so many classes under her belt that they didn't care. She went on to get her bachelor's, then master's. It was an eye opening conversation. Does your dd ever regret that she doesn't have the piece of paper or is it meaningless to her given everything else she has accomplished. Did others hassle her for not having it?

 

Your comments about getting a job are part of why I think it would be good for my dd to work right now. The other reason is that with depression and teens, one tends to walk a very careful path and not ask for much more beyond the academics in case you send them into a tailspin. There are several basic life skills that I think mastering would help my dd's confidence level. I'd like to focus on independent living skills so that when she is ready to move out, her world doesn't fall apart. I know I was not well-served by heading to college without knowing how to manage my money, my laundry, my time, or my diet.:tongue_smilie: Polly, :grouphug: thanks for the encouragement.

 

KarenAnne, thank you for the resource recommendations. Our library has two of them and I now have them on reserve. The Clonlara site does help give me a better idea of some of our options. This is part of a post from another thread that explains my dd's plan further:

 

My dd would like to attend cosmetology school after she graduates from high school. She does not care for a traditional learning environment. She is more of a hands-on learner and is very artistic. She has cut her friends' hair since they were freshmen and does hair and make up for three other girls before all dances. In the last 24 hours, she has come up with a plan that allows her to finish high school at home, work, and save for cosmetology school. She would finish the two year program debt free and with a license.

 

I am trying not to panic and to wrap my head around the idea of not going to a four year school. One thing dd said to me was that with school she tests and three days later, the information is meaningless. With cosmetology, she would be able to "see" the results of her work. I think part of her would be well-suited to the career and yet, I think the intellectual part might still find it mind-numbing.

 

My plan is to try and finish her high school career with a transcript that looks like one for a student who intends to go on to a four-year school. Hopefully, this will keep as many doors open as possible.