Food allergies and overly cautious child?

[rafiki]

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[TwinMominTX]

I'd say you are describing something akin to post traumatic stress disorder. I have an anaphylactic reaction to fire ants and I went through a period where I was stung twice (and admitted to the hospital twice) in a short period of time. After that I felt very much like you describe your son as feeling.

 

For me it took a few things.

 

1) My husband spent quite a bit of time detailing all the things we'd done to take care of the problem. Perhaps walk through the safety things that you do in your house to ensure that their won't be a problem. If you've been dealing with the issues for +7 years, some of the things you all do might just seem like habit to him when in reality they are being done to help him.

 

2) Time. Enough time passed that my anxiety lessened. There really wasn't much to do with this one except let time help.

 

3) My husband helped me go through what he called the "parade of horribles" - I verbalized to him all the horrible scenarios and situations that I could possibly come up with. He didn't belittle any of my ideas, but he helped me verbally process that even my very worst case scenario (riding my horse way out on the trails and being alone with my two daughters while having a reaction) still wasn't a terrible situation. I think at 10 years old you can get "down and dirty" about the seriousness of the situation (from his perspective), but also help him work through any potentially scary scenario. Who knows, you might come up with some new procedures, places to stash epi pens, etc.

 

Hopefully this makes sense!

[mirth]

I understand his fear, but don't want it to get to out of hand. Any advice?

Our house is kept very clean and allergen free.

 

He's on heightened alert when others are visiting or he's at someone's house and right now G-ma is visiting from out of town.

 

I understand his fear, and your concerns, too. And, imho, there is only one way to contain it.

 

May I preface by saying that if your whole life you've been told that a common substance is like anthrax to you, then it's only logical and natural that you develop a deep fear of being around this substance. I would be afraid of being somewhere I think there's anthrax too. Of course you are sensitive to all this already.

 

I think the one thing you can do is to make it clear to him that every adult he is around (in a custodial sense) is crystal clear on how to deal with an ANA rxn without question, qualms, or hesitation.

 

• That the custodian can identify symptoms.

• That the rescue med is kept in close physical proximity to his body at all times.

• That the custodian has no fear of needles, or hesitation in dealing with it.

• That the custodian has practiced doing the Epi using a live (expired) unit on something firm, like a piece of fruit.

 

He might also feel better understanding that you have confirmed that the would-be rescuer is physically able of administering the rescue med. For example, if he is left with grandma and grandma has arthritis such that she could not reasonably or quickly administer the injection, then you would need another adult around -- unless he can do it himself.

 

Your dear son has had to carry around a big weight for many years. The whole family has too, I bet. If you let in the idea that a contamination event could really happen someday, somewhere but ... "look, this is how we've all prepared for it and this is exactly what the doctor said to do", I believe everyone will feel more relief and actually be more careful (if the latter part makes sense) in the wake of the review of real emergency procedures.

 

:grouphug: