I am a failure as a parent....

[Rosie_0801]

Also, if you're a Christian or do some kind of regular activity outside the home, you might consider including your daughter. I attended women's events instead of youth events when I was...about that age, and I really appreciated the difference. I was at the other end of that extreme, though, so I could be wrong about this.

 

Absolutely. Can't expect kids this age to start acting like adults if the adults around don't welcome them into the ranks. Weird as it might sound, I think my major rite of passage, where I realised I was now considered an adult in my family was when I was expected to contribute to the Christmas cooking. Not helping Mum chop veggies, but cook something myself. Mind you, I'd moved out of home by then so this little anecdote really isn't applicable to the OP and I'm sort of waffling...

 

The other thing, have you asked her what her own plans for her character are? She might already know what sort of person she wants to be, but not exactly how to get there.

 

If you guys are interested in the SCA or something like that, there's a place where she can hang out with the college age students (we have a lovely bunch in our area) and when that becomes a bit overwhelming, play with the little kids. Their parents would definitely appreciate that! A lovely thing about the SCA in this case is the award system. If she becomes known as the lass who helps out with the little kids, she'll be given an offical thank you or even award for it. It's nice for teens when someone outside the family recognises them as useful and pleasant people. You can always ask the college students to take care of her, or ask someone who knows them to ask; when she's not looking, of course. They're not so old they've forgotten what that age is like and would probably make an effort to include her with dancing or chit chat.

 

A junior leader with brownies or daisies could be good too. It did wonders for me when I was that age.

 

Rosie