grace'smom
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Posts posted by grace'smom
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Someone on this forum recommended a book called Why We Get Fat and What to do About It, and it was very interesting. The author talks about overweight as a SYMPTOM of poor health, rather than a cause. He gives examples of different societies that experienced rapid weight gain after having to rely on a western starchy diet. It's interesting, and helped explain to me why I have a carb issue. I'm OK as long as I don't eat unhealthy carbs, but if I have one piece of cake I will have to fight cravings for days. It's those festive functions that throw me off. I really can't have ONE piece of cake without falling off the wagon. I don't crave the cake, I don't want the cake, but it is a baby shower/birthday/Christmas/etc. so I feel that I MUST eat the cake. Then I go home thinking about white bread rolls and potato chips, LOL. That's how I fall off the wagon. Christmas gets me every year. I'm usually back on the right bandwagon by April- yes, that's how long it takes to get my act back together. So don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure we all have the same issue in one area of our life. Maybe for some it's not food but something else- wasn't there an anger thread on here recently?
I agree with the PP about running too. I get depressed if I can't run. The sunshine and fresh air does wonders- and I hated it at the beginning too. It took about 3 months to like it but now I can't do without it. It seems like the cheapest exercise too. Good shoes and a sports bra get you into the game.
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You keep the girls with you, close, and correct each problem as it comes up. If girl suddenly charges in front of a child already headed to the slide JUST BECAUSE she wants to thwart that child, stop her. Say "we take turns" and enforce that, using a body block if necessary. Etc. If she destroys a set up, correct her and help the two set it up again. Sounds like she needs some actual parenting. Unless I'm reading this all wrong.
Oh, I do sit with them as frequently as possible. I try to just sit there and counter everything the girl says as a modeling approach to the girl, and to help Grace not be negatively affected by her words. These incidents that occur seem to happen in the blink of an eye. The slide happened when I went inside to get the girls some water (I wasn't gone two minutes) and the cone incident occured as I was standing there, but it happened so fast I did not have a chance to intervene before it was over. Grace was fine as soon as she got the cone back, but the other girl resented having to put it back, and that's when her dad showed up. Looking back though, I should have said something to the other child the minute she started "jokingly" knocking the cones over. If I had done something right then I may have been able to stop the chain of events. It didn't look that bad at that time, sort of par for the course, but the rest of it happened really fast.
I don't like the idea of giving time outs to someone else's child, especially since I can't even remember the last time I gave a time out to my own child. However, I do really like the idea that the PP gave to tell her she has to be quiet for two minutes and think of something kind to say during that time. I will definitely try that and see how it goes. I also really like the sunflower idea so I will be putting that up today. And I think I will try telling the child outright that she is being hurtful rather than trying to model for her and hoping she gets it. I guess at this point I can decide that she's not getting it and needs further intervention.
Thank you guys for all your advice. I think I am going to put aside my expectation for Grace to not give ugly faces to the other girl and just expect her not to give them to me and DH, and we'll continue to work on that issue AFTER the other family has found alternate care. You guys are right. It is too much to ask of Grace to handle the other child AND be nice about it. She's stuck in a bad situation.
I REALLY hope some of these ideas help this situation. I'm still not looking forward to tomorrow afternoon, but I'm hopeful that maybe this week won't be such a rough one.
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Thank you guys so much for your advice. I think I have some good ideas for what to say to the girls now, and I feel better having had a chance to talk about the problem. I will probably check back in for more advice because I really feel out of my league with this one, but I think I have a place to start now at least.
Gotta go to bed now but I'll be checking back in tomorrow to see if anyone else posted. Thanks so much!
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Can you tomato-stake the pair for awhile? I.e. you become "the mean" one rather than your daughter?
I don't really know what that means... I have seen the expression before but I haven't looked into it.
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Are you being paid for this babysitting job or just helping out a neighbor/friend?
You are very right to make supportive comments to your daughter. I was an only child and had a relative that was close to my age who was very demanding and pretty horrible to me. My mom didn't go out of her way to take my side, if it was a family gathering and an aunt/grandparent saw us arguing (really, saw me being bullied and me fighting back whether with words or physically) they would tell us both that we had to sit on opposite corners of the sofa- my mother knew what was going on but didn't stick up for me and it STILL bothers me to this day. So stick up for your daughter- you owe her your allegiance and you owe the other child a safe place to stay after school. You aren't the other girl's mother, you are Grace's mother. That doesn't mean you need to be unkind to the other child, and it's good to find ways to make things better for both of them.
I've done in home child care before and it's HARD.
They are paying us but we told them it wasn't necessary... We thought it would be mutually beneficial for the kids because we're neighbors and Grace is an only, homeschooling child so it guarantees her some playtime with a peer every day. It just hasn't worked out like we thought. Next year will be better though. She may not have as much freeplay time with other kids, but we're going to be hitting some fun museums and adding in some sports- as well as more subjects since she'll be in first grade instead of kindergarten. I have made it clear to Grace in private that I know she is doing her best and I hear the things the other little girl says to her.
So I am thinking that perhaps I am not crazy to think that the ugly faces might just be permanent until this situation is resolved? Maybe it's just not even a good time to try to address it. It sounds like it might be too much to ask her to handle the other child AND work on herself at the same time.
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Two thoughts:
If it was a young child, I would not allow her around who tease her in a manner that she does not enjoy. If someone teased Miss Bossy, and all she did was give them a dirty look, I'd be praising her for not knocking the @#$%$ out of them.
When my teenagers do it to me, I interpret for them. "Your look is telling me, 'Mom, I had plans other than washing dishes'.'
Or "Mother, your presence is so vile that I refuse to believe I sprung from your womb."
If they try to contradict my interpretation. I refuse to listen and cut them off with the insistence that since I have a Ph.D in Reading Facial Expressions I know what the look on their faces means much more accurately than they do.
Sometimes they will try to test me, and they will make outrageous faces and I will make up outlandish interpretations.
Well, I am working on not having them together so much and I agree it's not healthy, but for the time being we're stuck (until June 16 actually). Next year we're not doing this anymore. To the PP, the parents are not really approachable regarding the behavior. They actually brought her to us b/c she was being bullied in daycare, and they have not liked any of her daycare teachers and now do not like her kindergarten teacher. I'm thinking they don't take well to approaching them with issues. They are already looking for alternate care so I think they also see an issue, I'm just pretty sure they have a different perspective on it ;).
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Well, sounds like the other girl is being very territorial only she's marking territory that isn't hers. It can be normal for a child who's out of their environment. When the other girls starts whining that Grace is mean to her, I'd just tell her, "Well, you've been saying and doing mean things to her all day and she's had enough, you two need to spend some time apart for a bit." and then give her something quiet to do on her own- coloring pages, (with their own boxes of crayons) a picture book to look at, etc.
I have a stubborn daughter who has a strong sense of justice and is very sensitive. When something isn't going her way she will usually calm down if I offer her a hug or a cuddle. She just wants some acknowledgment of her feelings.
You know- I was thinking just today and wondering if the little girl might be nicer if she had a box of stuff at our house that was "hers." You confirmed my suspicion. I'm getting her a box tomorrow.
I have also noticed that my daughter is MUCH better about things if I sit there and give Grace a compliment about everything the girl puts down- i.e. "I think Grace's mismatched socks are really cute!" or if the girl tattletales something silly I just say "Grace, you're doing fine, please don't worry about it." But then I don't want the other girl to think I am ignoring her. I feel trapped.
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In MY opinion this shouldn't be punished. She is expressing herself in the best way she can. I'm not one who likes to teach my kids to stuff their feelings though, so you may completely disagree. I think modeling a 're-do' would be more helpful than a punishment. "I see that you are upset about xyz right now, I don't always like doing chores either but keeping them done keeps the house tidy and it's much easier to play and find our things when we keep the house tidy" or something related to whatever reason it is that she is making the face. If you expect some canned, cheerful response when you tell her to do something then just say that every time she makes the face, "What I want to hear is, 'Yes, Mommy'". If it's because she's being mistreated just step in and say, "I can see you are frustrated about being teased by your friends. You can ask them to stop, and you can walk away if you wish." And I might even say something to the friends, "you aren't being very friendly when you do/say things like that."[/QUOTE]
YES- these are great ideas! I feel the same as you- I just don't think it's a good idea to time out for it, but on the other hand I don't know what else to do to make it stop. And I really can't remember if these ugly faces were a problem BEFORE all this teasing stuff came about. They don't really happen all that much with just us at home and they aren't that big a deal when they do, but they do happen and I am sure they aren't appropriate.
I think these statement examples you gave me are going to help a LOT. Seriously, though, how can I expect her to stay in control and know how to word things if I have to go online and find out how to word things myself, LOL! I just feel bad for these two girls. The whole thing is frustrating.
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And part of me wonders if it's too much to ask Grace to control her facial expressions in these situations with this other child. She's just a kid, and the teasing is a LOT to handle every day. Is it even appropriate to expect that of her? I've been trying to intervene as much as I can but I admit I don't really have the tools to keep the peace between them.
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What is she being teased about, by whom, and where? "Teasing" can cover a lot of territory. Your dd appears very young, and I'm a bit :confused: as to why she would be teased so often by friends that her reaction is an issue. Lots of what people like to call teasing is nothing more than being mean with a smile. Ongoing teasing would be more of a concern to me than the reaction to ongoing teasing.
As far as making faces when she is asked to do something, I think other posters gave you some good ideas.
She has a friend that we watch after school. The little girl has issues with being competitive, and trying to be better, etc., and often tries to put Grace down to lift herself up. For example, she got in the other car after her busride the other day and said to me very loudly (in front of some of the other kids we were giving a ride home to as well) "Why don't Grace's socks match?" in a tone that obviously showed her distaste in Grace's fashion sense. She just picks at her. She also has some sort of issue with tattletaling. In a way that's just strange. Like the other day I was reading them a book about emotional well being (b/c they both need it, LOL) and one of the book parts was about taking off your "bad memory backpack" (carrying a grudge) and throwing it away. Well the other little girl tattletaled to me that Grace took her imaginary GOOD memory backpack and threw it out. She was seriously looking for me to do something about it. So if Grace sits somewhere then that was the seat this other girl wanted, or if Grace picks a book to read this child will say she doesn't want to read that book and wants this one instead, or if Grace picks an activitity this child will say she doesn't want that- and on it goes. The way she acts is really hard to describe, even for me, but it's like a constant pick where one thing might be overlooked but after an hour or so Grace is really having trouble remaining in control, and then when the girls mom shows up she says Grace is mean to her because at some point Grace starts giving ugly faces. Like the other day Grace decided she wanted to go down the slide, and the other girl decided that SHE had to go down the slide too so she started running for it and got in front of Grace. Well, Grace gave a big old ugly face for that and then the other girl started crying and said Grace is mean to her and continued to cry as her mom showed up to pick her up. One day she knocked down Grace's obstacle course "as a joke" and Grace got mad at her so she ran off with one of the cones. Of course Grace chased her through the yard demanding her cone back and she refused, at which point the ugly faces become GLUED to Grace's face, and the other girl puts the cone back but cries as her father pulls up and says- you guessed it "Grace is mean to me." I don't know what to do- there's only so much I can expect out of young kids. Both girls are basically good kids, although somewhat mixed up, but I am not sure what to do. I'm overwhelmed. Literally, I don't know what to do. I just wish Grace could stop the ugly faces and use words so that the issue could be resolved without accusations of Grace being mean. I don't really know how to handle this situation. Well, obviously watching the other girl after school is not working out, and her parents are looking for other afterschool care, but I'd like to salvage the relationship between the two girls if possible. They usually get along pretty good on Mondays, LOL. It's Tuesday on that all this stuff starts happening. They'd be great weekend friends. I don't know. My husband says he doesn't think this is healthy for Grace. I'm not too sure it's healthy either, but I don't want to tell her who she can be friends with either. I don't feel very confident in my parenting skills regarding this situation. Did I mention that I don't know what to do yet? :D
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The problem with her friends is that she has trouble putting her feelings into words. She knows what she feels but it is hard for her to process why and word it quickly enough. She's bright and sensitive, but she's also a little slower with being able to put things into words. For example, that's why she often yells "Mommy, come quick" but can't yell something like "Mommy, come quick- there are pretty blackbirds all over the yard!"
I'm just wondering if this should move into the time out zone or if that's not appropriate. In some ways I think it's appropriate because she's basically cursing you out with her face, but in others I think it's not appropriate because she's got a right to her feelings... What to do?
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Does anyone have any tips or ideas about what to do regarding children who give ugly/mean faces when they don't like something? Not all the time, but enough to cause problems between friends and family?
In some cases the ugly faces are related to my DD's sensitivity to what she feels is teasing, and in others they are related to being asked to do something she doesn't want to do at that moment.
I just don't exactly know what to do- I'm literally wanting to ask her to change the look on her face, LOL. Can you even do that? But they really are mean faces. She scrunches up her whole face into a really mad face. It's disrespectful and hurtful- especially to her friends. Granted, said friends usually ARE teasing her when she gives them ugly faces, but my "use words not faces" campaign is really not helping her to stop.
Again, it's not all the time. It is MOST often in relation to feelings of being teased, but it also shows up at other times. In any case, I think she is being hurtful and I would like her to stop, but I'm not quite sure how to go about enforcing the look on her face...
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Here is the official list of changes from the 2nd edition of the Foundations guide to the 3rd edition of the Foundations guide. The 3rd edition of the Foundations guide is much easier on they eyes and more user friendly. It received a major facelift.
Updates were also made on the memory work audio CD's and power point CDs.
Even though I already owned the old version of the CD's, I opted to sign up for the C3 community, which has all of the most current material.
Thanks so much for sharing that! I am sure it's going to be a big help for someone!
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I think it also reflects changes in the second to third edition curriculum guide- it says that underneath the doc title. I am not positive because I have the third edition so mine is all the same as this page. Maybe someone with a second edition can see if theirs would need the changes noted.
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Ok, now I'm a bit concerned. Can someone actually find our family from me using first names on our blog? It's not linked to my facebook page, which I've set on private anyway. My husband and daughter's names are very common so I have used their first name. Never had to use my name because I'm always the one writing so there's no reason to... I also have never listed our town or any details like that. Oh, and NO ONE- not even my family who I have have sent the link to several times in an attempt to get them to care what we're doing with Grace- reads it but me. It's almost like an online diary.
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I've had a lot of people ask me for this by email so I thought I'd post it.
Changes to Cycle 3 audio CDs and MWRCD
These changes reflect the changes of the 3rd edition Foundations guide.
History
Changed wording of these sentences
Week 7 – The War of 1812 gave confidence to the US to write the Monroe Doctrine, warning Europeans not to attempt to colonize the Americas.
Week 10 – In 1853, after the Mexican War and the Gadsden Purchase, Polk’s belief in the doctrine of Manifest Destiny was realized.
Week 11 – In 1861, President Abraham Lincoln went to war with the Southern states which had seceded from the Union.
Week 13- change the date ‘1866’ to ‘1868’
Week 17 – In 1917, President Woodrow Wilson asked Congress to declare war on the Central Powers two years after German U-Boats sank the Lusitania, killing American citizens.
Geography
Changed some of the title headings
Changes to content information are bolded
Week 11 – title – add in parentheses, in small print (New England features)
Change the spelling of ‘Alleghany to Allegheny’
Week 12 – title - add in parentheses, in small print (Southern features)
Week 13 – title – change to ‘Western Mountains’’ Add Rocky Mountains to slide
Week 14 – title – change to Northwest Mountains
Week 15 – title – add (East) "Rivers (East)"
Week 16 – title – add (West) "Rivers (West)"
Week 20 – change ‘Miami and Ohio’ to ‘Miami and Erie’
Week 21 – title change to ‘Territories and Terrains’
Week 22 – change ‘Sonora’ to ‘Sonaran’
Week 24 – title - ‘More Prominent Features’
Math
Week 7 – add the number ‘169’ to the list
Week 8 – add the numbers ‘182’ and ‘196’ to the list
Week 9 – Place numbers ‘195’, ‘210’, and ‘225’ to the list
Weeks 21, 22, and 24 – added formula for multiplication
Science
Few word changes in the title
Week 6 – title s/b "what are some parts of the digestive system?" list should be: Mouth, Esophagus, Liver, Small intestine, Large intestine
Week 13 – change sentence to: "It is the number of protons in the nucleus of an atom, which is also the number of electrons in a neutral atom."
English Grammar
Some heading changes
Week 20 A phrase is a group of words that does not contain both a subject and a verb, and may be used as a single part of speech. A clause is a group of words that does contain both a subject and a verb.
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Me three! and I'm Catholic too.
In fact, I do wonder if it would be appropriate for Catholics. Not that I need that particular year, since my youngest kid is 10yo already.
I'm Catholic and I bought the curriculum last night. It looks like a generally Christian text to me. I didn't see anything that looked inappropriate for Catholics, although I must admit I am a convert Catholic so I may be a little more liberal than others.
I just got the Year One AG and text. I hope that's enough. I couldn't afford to get all three books (I actually bought it with my Swagbucks Amazon gift cards, LOL).
I think it's going to be a great introduction for my daughter. Right now we just read a bible story every day, and I'll be glad to have a more organized approach with background historical information included.
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It makes me want to go buy the Olive Branch curriculum because I feel bad they are having such a hard time. I don't really know anything about the controversy but the curriculum looks great to me!
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I am looking for a way to schedule in more of the great options for next year as well. I don't have much help for you other than to say that I have my "favorites" saved into categories. You can make different folders in your "favorites" section for each subject area. When you want to explore a subject further you at least have it well categorized so you don't have to sort through the whole list.
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OK, just as info... I kept looking once I realized my faithful friend the WTM forum didn't immediately know the answer to my question :D. Apparently, if you have a cannon camera there is an issue with photos that are in portrait mode automatically returning to landscape once you transfer them to blogspot. To make it stop, you have to save a copy of your photo in question as a png file rather than a jpeg, then post it on your blog.
Just in case someone else has the same question later!
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Ok- I have a silly question. I am trying to load photos of a book my daughter made onto blogspot.com, and some of the pages came in upside down. How do I turn them around so they are facing up?
Thanks!
Hailey
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We're finally going to get the rest of our stuff from storage soon. We moved into our new house in Dec and have had a minimalist lifestyle since. I'm a little nervous about bringing up the rest of the stuff, so I've composed some vows. A lot of stuff is going in the basement until I can determine if it will be a part of our new (smaller) home.
For your enjoyment: :D
I vow never to concern myself with stuff more than people.
I vow to willingly pass on stuff that I do not need to others, so they may enjoy it
I vow to have a place for everything
I vow to purge as necessary
I vow to stop before purchasing anything and ask myself if this is a need or a want
I vow to never add to a collection just because it's a collection
I vow to hold onto memories more than things
I vow to keep items that mean something to me only if they have space in my home
I vow to keep space in my home for the items that mean something, instead of filling my home with trendy decor
I vow to wait to buy the "right" item instead of buying something just because I think I need it now
I vow to wait to buy the "right" items instead of buying something just because it's on clearance
I vow to fill my house with knowledge and love instead of inanimate objects
I vow to always hang my son's artwork, even if I have to take down a mass produced piece to do so
I vow to not overdecorate every flat surface in the house
I vow to always leave room for good books
I vow to let my one closet and one dresser dictate the size of my wardrobe
Hey, do you mind if I copy this into an email to send to my mom? She would really like it! It's really great. But I won't do it without your permission...
Thanks,
Hailey
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Can you selectively edit or is it interspersed too frequently throughout the text?
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This happened to my daughter with HWT. I asked here on the board and they advised that I was having her do too much per day. So now she only does one HWT page instead of two, and she does her VERY best at those four words she has to copy. I guess we will go back later and do the rest of the book, but doing her best at the shorter page has helped her a lot. Using the whiteboard has also helped a good deal. She does Phonics Road so she has to write five words on the board every day, plus one sentence that she comes up with from her words. It seems to be enough. FWIW, she is just turning six on Friday so our DD's are close in age.
Philly Conference
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Can you guys post the dates and location again? I might be able to make it but with all the pages and what not I can't find the info...