I found out the simplest products give the best results. You should have her wash her face with African Black Soap: https://www.amazon.com/SheaMoisture-African-Black-Soap-Bar/dp/B005C2N8IC/ref=sr_1_4_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1468088772&sr=8-4&keywords=african+black+soap and moisturize with Egyptian Magic: https://www.amazon.com/Egyptian-Magic-254_165-Skin-Cream/dp/B00N54BDJK/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1468088954&sr=1-1&keywords=egyptian+magic and spot treat breakouts with Clearasil Ultra Rapid Action Vanishing Acne Treatment Cream: https://www.amazon.com/Clearasil-Ultra-Action-Vanishing-Treatment/dp/B000G3H5TK/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1468089029&sr=1-1&keywords=clearasil My daughter has been using this on her acne and I have seen great and noticeable improvement on her skin. The Egyptian Magic looks like Vaseline, but it absorbs into the skin and does not leave skin greasy. Most acne products dry out the skin, aggravating the problem further. I did not read all the other replies, so I apologize if someone else has given you this suggestion. ETA: I saw changes in her skin within two weeks of starting to use these products.

I really like your insight - and your outcome is wonderful too. Could it be that your parents knew you would figure it out anyway? They had faith in your abilities? My parents never micro-managed me either. Throughout elementary school I got training on responsibility, then through middle school, the only updates on my schoolwork my parents would get were my mid term report and end of year report. I had some epic fails and some successes too. I took responsibility for them, if I failed, I knew I had to work harder next the next year. My teachers played a big part in my education and as students we had to be answerable to them. But like you and all the other postings say, its all very subjective. I always fear though that too much scaffolding can lead to laziness, lack of effort, and that kind of thing. The child has to want to do well too, and as a parent you have to let them know too that the drive to do well, and become a contributing member of society has to come from them, and never from you. Once you reach high school you should not rely on your parents to remind you to fill out forms, complete your homework, etc. By the time a child reaches college, parents should not be involved in scheduling classes at all, and talking to the advisors etc. The one thing that was a constant for me was that my parents accepted me always. Whether I was doing good in school or not. I am no where near dealing with a high schooler yet, I might change my tune when I get there.

I think parents should let their kids swim or sink. Especially in the middle/high school years. How can you learn to swim on your own if you never get the opportunity to sink some? We grow through failure and we are not letting our kids fail. (I am guilty of that too) ...

Unfortunately the ultimatums don't work with my dd. She would take the punishment graciously :) @OneStepAtATime: Your dd sounds a lot like my dd. I will try some of the strategies you mentioned and maybe even replace some of the things on her list with some of the things she likes to do. She is currently writing a novel, and I might replace her LangArts with writing. She does need contact and interaction throughout the day - which we have, but lately it has been more of "what did you get done so far variety". I am going to try and go 21 days of only watering her positive seeds and bite my tongue every time I try to say anything that might come off negative. Thank you so much for your wonderful reply :)

@texasmama - I think your question and suggestions might make a big difference. I don't like her behavior a lot of the time and I think you are so right in mentioning that we should do something together that will make me see her strengths. Right now I feel my focus is too much on the weaknesses. 13 threw me for a loop - I didn't anticipate the behavior change :( @OneStepAtATime - I wish I could find out what's causing her not to do her work. I think she tries - but ends up doodling instead, or reading a book, or drawing. She has a list of 6 subjects to get through daily, and I give her time (45 minutes a lesson) - so she doesn't spend too long on one subject. Well, she might do one thing or two out of the list on most days if I don't hound her the entire time. With me micro managing - she might get through maybe 3. I feel at 13 she should be more independent in what she does, so I try to just ask periodically how its going. But even with me micro-managing her, sometimes the work just does not get done. She will sit at the table with her books for 45 minutes and maybe complete about 3 math problems only. I honestly don't know what else to do. Its hard to be loving when you are angry with someone.

Lately I feel I have been very critical of my 13 year old dd ... it seems a cycle. She has been not been keeping up with her school work, and every time before I go talk to her about it, I tell myself I will not criticize.... it just never ends that way. It ends up more like...if you don't do your school work you will never be able to do the things you want to in life, etc. That is terrible!!! Anyone know how to break this cycle?

I too understand the struggle with Math in 7th Grade. I ended up having my DD take a placement test for Math Mammoth Light Blue Series and we are transitioning to that. I am new to homeschooling and I got the suggestion for Math Mammoth from here when I was considering using Singapore Math. I really like how the concepts are explained and from flipping through the book, I think it will help solidify number sense and seal up the holes that we found that she had. Even though she's in 7th - I had her take the 5th Grade end of year test to start. Hope this helps.

Great resources on this post! Really useful information. However, there is something I think is missing and maybe people who pulled their children out of public school can provide some imput on this - everything looks really, really great on paper. That's before you factor in the child and the fact that they might not always be willing to pull their weight when it comes to doing the work. Its left me feeling burnt out after only 4 months of schooling. Any advice? I think this will be useful for anyone thinking of beginning homeschooling. It will give you a wider picture.

@OhElizabeth: I did try to reduce the number of problems - but it does not seem to help - she adjusts a speed to meet the lower number of problems. I might have other issues going on with homeschooling motivation (we have only been at it since September 2015). So I guess to answer your question - she is slow at everything (the few things that she does get done). I am not sure if that has to do with puberty - she used to be so focused and motivated up until 6th Grade. It was a difficult year to keep her on track with homework. She ended the school year with straight As. She understands the concepts - is a little slow on addition/subtraction facts. Okay on the multiplication. I had her take Singapore Math placement test 5A (she did very poorly) :(. I had started with 6A, then had her try the 5A instead. @kbutton I did have both my kids take the SM placement tests - 4A for my 4th Grader and 6A then 5A for my 7th Grader. They came below the 80% required. I have a good idea on how to instill number sense - but I seem to not be able to get that across to my kids. I am thinking I might try a tutoring center instead. Thank you for the information about Education Unboxed. That is new to me, and I will look it up. I am a little wary of spending more $$$ on materials. My son is slow at doing Math too - but his work is beautiful and accurate. So is my daughters - just so slow!!! Its interesting what you said about A Beka - maybe the problem is the curriculum I am using. I was torn between that and Saxon when I started, but opted for A Beka from the WTM recommendation saying any child that has worked through A Beka Math, will understand math. I don't like jumping around, but maybe its time I abandon A Beka and try some of the recommendations I have from yourself and OHElizabeth. Thank you so much - I admire you Mom's who have homeschooled longer and have things figured out :)

Hi all, I am new to the forum and to homeschooling. I recently pulled my two kids out of public school (4th Grade and 7th Grade). As we have been working though Math problems (Abeka) - I have noticed holes with both of them in terms of number sense. I am considering using Singapore Math with them to help develop their number sense and starting them both at level 2A - with the goal of moving fast through material that might be easier for them, but laying a solid foundation in terms of number sense. Is this a ridiculous and damaging thing to do to my kids or a gateway to better understanding. I would really appreciate input from this wonderful community. A little background on how they do in Math currently. My 7th Grader is doing Abeka Pre-Algebra. She grasps the concepts but is really, really slow, and therefore gets frustrated because Math takes too long. My 4th Grader is in Abeka 4th Grade Math - he's doing well, but he could improve on speed and mental math. My daughter was in 6th Grade Honors Math and finished the last school year with an A in Math. The school allowed her to complete her tests and exams over a period of time. So she's always been slow in Math - I do explain to her that that's not how it works once you get to college. You get timed tests. I look forward to receiving any input. Many thanks!