[Pod cast on hot issues…..any that included reasoned voices on both sides?]

Honestly with Bari Weiss is excellent for deeper, respectful conversation. Not debate, necessarily, though she does host those occasionally. 

[PSA Use Proper Names]

Google

Chapstick

Tupperware

Frisbee

Jacuzzi

Agreeing with the sentiment when it comes to meds. But I can’t think of another example where the brand name becoming the generic term is a problem. (And from a marketing/branding standpoint, it’s gold!)

[Help me frame mom jobs as program and project management]

Maybe encourage these people to think in terms of skill categories: Items you’ve 
organized, events you’ve planned, deadlines you’ve consistently met, budgets you’ve managed, etc. 

As a resume writer, I encouraged SAHMs to focus on skills and education and not try to “professionalize” the noble work of mothering. It usually falls flat. 

[“Protest behavior”]

If this man is 50 years old and hasn’t yet moved toward his supposed lifelong goal of starting a family, I’d say he’s a poor planner and/or a poor executioner. Or he’s simply keeping this in his back pocket as a get-out-of-the-relationship-free card when things get serious and possibly difficult (as relationships do): “I told you I wanted kids.” 

I think you’re wise to step away. 

[Is it possible to live without a mobile phone these days?]

6 hours ago, Kalmia said:

My MIL and mom both rapidly lost the ability to use their smart phones when dementia set in. Within months of being unable to operate a cell phone they also could not longer operate a landline, even one with the photo buttons that are programmed with people's phone numbers. I figure now that once the decline starts, it won't be long until the rest of my elders need in-person assistance not technological assistance.

My dad has never had an iPhone, just a flip phone. He can still operate it at 84 without a problem. He got rid of the landline because the spam calls were incessant and my mom's dementia meant that she would answer every single one, couldn't be talked out of answering. A few years ago she was scammed online, but she's beyond being scammed now, wouldn't know how to find her wallet much less her bank account or credit card number. 

So many websites and agencies and companies are putting in place things that require phones recently. It will really impact a good percentage of the elderly. For example, I was at a different branch of my bank than I usually go to, making a withdrawal, and the teller wanted to text me a code to prove I was who I said I was! I had just given him my driver's license. I was pretty worried about this since this is the bank my father uses too, and so I asked, "So, when my 84 year old father comes in with his flip phone are you going to tell him he can't have his money?" The teller was like, well, it's for your own protection. I responded, "like if someone who looked exactly like me tackled me on the way in here and stole my wallet with my bank card and my photo ID--that looks just like me standing here right now--and used it to try and withdraw money... protecting me against that?" He was then like, well, if your dad doesn't have a smartphone, we'd figure something out to prove who he is. (We do not live in a high crime area; we live in one of the safest states in the nation.) 

Sigh.

All of this. 

I recently took on a lot of my mom’s care, which required a good amount of phone work with insurance companies and government agencies. The level of technological “help” is testament to how little they considered the needs of the elderly. I tried to simply sit next to my mom while she managed the tasks but there was no way. I can’t imagine how someone without an invested friend or family member functions. 

The labyrinth of menu options is bewildering. They use internal jargon that doesn’t make sense. And if you dare to make a sound (clear your throat, stir your coffee), the system picks it up and interrupts with an automated “I didn’t get that. Please listen to the menu options again.”  Then there’s a “text a code,” which requires the caller to maneuver away from the call screen to the message screen and then to the number pad and then back to the call—all without disconnecting the call. And a landline was NOT an option. Then there’s “enter your phone pin, which, by the way, is different from your regular pin, and if you don’t have it we can mail one to you at the address we have on file. “Oh, what’s that? You’re calling for the purpose of changing the address on file? Well we can’t do that without this phone pin that we’re sending to whatever address you tell us.”  Sounds super secure and necessary. Thanks! 🙄

It all changes so quickly, and every new advancement is touted as oh-so-much more secure and efficient. Pbltpbltpblt to that.

It’s dehumanizing. 

(I’m going to make a great curmudgeon someday!)

[Would you think anything of this?]

Would I “think anything” of someone serving me food with their butt cheeks showing and their clothing obviously dirty? OF COURSE I WOULD! This isn’t a style issue. Good grief. Basic hygiene and a general regard for societal norms should still count for something. 
 

(I’ll be over here on my rocking chair yelling at the kids to get off my lawn if you want to join me 😁)

[Florida bans lab-grown meat]

Definitely not a fan of lab-grown “meat.”
Also, though, not a fan of banning. As a supposed conservative, DeSantis should be saying some version of “let the market decide.”  
 

[Is there an easy way to make a smart tv dumb?]

Thanks Katy. 
that video sent me down a shallow rabbit hole where I learned to reset the factory settings and NOT connect to the internet. Voila. A dumb tv. Exactly what she wanted. 😊

[Is there an easy way to make a smart tv dumb?]

My mom recently got a new tv. She doesn’t have any apps like Netflix or Prime and she just wants plain old cable programming. But to get to her plain old cable programming with this tv requires two remotes and multiple time-sensitive steps of scrolling to the right input, plugging in the channel….its a lot for her current level of cognition. 

Is there an easy way to turn her smart tv into an easier-to-use version? A setting maybe? 
 

I’ve put the word out in our neighborhood FB page for an old dumb tv if anyone is unloading one, but I’d like to work with the currently mounted one if possible. 

Thanks!
 

 

[Wegman's is coming to town!]

Wegmans. Is. The. Best. 
That is all. 

[Millennials and Gen Z: Splurging on Groceries]

NM

[Budgeting experience? Shared account with separate spending money?]

I wouldn’t combine finances without the benefit of marriage. 
I also wouldn’t take on managing the finances of someone whose spending habits are so different from mine. 
I’d want details as to what his goals are. Does he like the way you save and wants to do the same? Does he simply not want to deal with the administrative aspect of bill paying, etc.? What happens to these accounts if the relationship ends? 

[Best way to find a job as an editor?]

I just saw a couple remote editing/proofreading jobs posted on Indeed for a company called Wizz Accounting. Could be worth checking out. 

[Shooting near KC Chief's parade]

What do we know about this shooter? The motivation? The gun? 

[Platform bed or box spring?]

We’re furnishing a guest room and need a bed. It’s been a while since we’ve shopped for bed frames and mattresses and the options have me a little overwhelmed. 

This is for a room that won’t get a lot of use, but we want our guests to be comfortable, of course. Price is a concern. 

Any recommendations? 

[Establishing Habits]

I drink more water at home if I use one of those fruit-infused water pitchers. I fill the middle thing with frozen berries and set the pitcher in the fridge. It's more interesting than plain water but without carbonation or added sugar. May be worth a try if "water is boring" is part of the problem.  

[Church website - what do you want to see on one?]

Be careful with photos. No pics of children without parental permission and, while it could be a headache, I’d say the same of adults given privacy concerns.
 

[Church website - what do you want to see on one?]

I like a “What to expect” for visitors (our music is loud, kids are welcome to stay in the sanctuary, service lasts an hour…those kinds of things). 

[Co-worker with cancer]

If the person doesn’t want a gofundme, then that wish should be respected.

If a co-worker wants to do SOMETHING (and that’s completely understandable), he or she should ask the person what would be helpful. If gift cards or meals are acceptable, that should be a  private (not a corporate) initiative. And the manager should NOT be the one asking subordinates to donate  

If the person says “no, please don’t,” again—that should be respected.  

[S/O: How old were you when you purchased your first house?]

25 and single. I had a friend who knew a guy who had access to these special HUD house listings (this was pre-internet). I put a low offer on one in a great neighborhood and it turned out to be the only offer. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

[salary negotiaton?]

It’s always a good idea to counter. The worst that happens is they say no, and then Carrie12345’s line is excellent. 

Another thing to consider is that salary increases are often a percentage of the current rate. So (just for easy math purposes), 5% every year based on that original offer vs 5% on a slightly higher original salary can add up significantly over the course of a career. 

I got an increase from the original offer at my last two jobs simply by asking this seven-word question: Is that the best you can do? In both cases the revised offer came quickly. It wasn’t a huge increase in either case, but I’m glad I asked.

They expect you to negotiate. 

[Social Security benefits question (retirement and beneficiaries questions)]

Related advice from our financial planner people: Whenever dealing with the social security office, use the rule of three. Ask three people there your question and don’t believe the answer unless you get the same answer three times. Sadly, the people answering the phones and dealing with the public aren’t always the best trained or most knowledgeable and the stakes are high. 

[JAWM Any way to make threads disappear?]

9 hours ago, TexasProud said:

 

Same! 😁😁😁

ETA: it didn’t quote properly (?) but I was trying to say I, too, have many conversations in my head about threads here. 

[The Purge thread......ALL are welcome!]

Purge 2024 is well underway here. I’ve cleaned out the drawers and cabinets in our bathroom, the linen closet, and a couple shelves and the catch-all corner  in the garage. Took several items to the consignment shop, dropped off a bunch of blankets/sheets to a local rescue group, and posted a few things for free on our neighborhood FB page, all of which were picked up off my porch within a couple hours. WooHoo!

 

[Please talk me down]

9 hours ago, Scarlett said:

 I googled a few of their names and they on quack watch lists or at the least have no credentials or controlled studies.  

 

Unfortunately, it sounds like the credentialed, “non-quack” professionals aren’t offering her any hope. Desperation drives people to some weird places. 

Is a short-term carnivore diet really that awful? I don’t know. (I’d miss berries too much myself!) But it’s not  like she’d be giving her money to a sleazy influencer for snake oil. She’d be giving it to a butcher or a farmer for meat.