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displace

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Posts posted by displace

  1. I’d head to an orthopedic specialist if you want to bypass your pediatrician.  Back pain in kids is not “normal”, and can be caused by some things that need to be investigated.  If you want to do home PT, I’d focus on core strength exercises while waiting for an ortho appointment.  Those are usually the most helpful for back pain.

    • Like 5
  2. Any guidance on working with DS10 on following instructions?  He is compliant when I ask him to clean, do X or Y around the house, etc.  With schoolwork, he’s always struggled with this.  He doesn’t want to follow instructions.  I think it’s his giftedness combined with his disabilities and how his brain works with forming very different and broad connections.  For some subjects it’s not a problem and I don’t ask him to do things a certain way, we go off on tangents, find work-arounds, etc.  However, with some subjects, like math, it’s always been a struggle and is now prohibitive to his education with me as a teacher.  Frequently with remediation subjects (writing and reading), it’s also a struggle.  But these subjects have not much of a workaround solution.  You have to read, form letters, and do math problems a certain way.

    Typical math situation: 

    me- Do step 1, which is retype math problem exactly (and explanation of why given).  We use modmath and typing it first is step to solving it.  Clear warning that I’m not helping him solve until it’s retyped.

    ds- tries to solve 4 step problem without writing it down, asks for help, multiple errors in operations, numbers, answers, etc.

    me- retype math problem exactly

    ds- tries to solve math problem only 2 steps instead of whole problem, is now frustrated

    me- retype math problem exactly.

    Repeat but with tears and complaints and frustration for a few more times, ending with breaks all around.  This was today, after having had long discussions all week about needing to follow instructions for some subjects to be able to do the work.  Also, accommodations are given.  The reality is I think he doesn’t want to do the work and go through the effort of multiple steps and my ability to act calm forever and help is limited.  He will not do the first step, to retype the problem, and he wants to just solve it.  But he makes mistakes from the retype and most steps along the way.  Even if I did the first step and retyped it, he will jump five steps and try to solve mentally when he needs to go step by step.  Plus, I  accommodate a LOT and he is very capable of typing into his program and is expected to.  Conceptually, I believe he understands most of what we’re doing, but I need to verify what’s happening because of his disabilities (is he not seeing well, typing well, doing the math, getting distracted, etc?).  

    Same with reading.  I ask him to sound out the first syllable ONLY, then he just starts guessing words without even sounding out the first syllable (which he’s saying incorrectly), then finally after multiple tries and me repeating instructions 5 times, we move on to second syllable and it’s a repeat random guessing of words.  Or spelling: spell syllable X and he randomly spells out the whole word multiple times incorrectly.

    So, I’d like something to help him “get it” that when I ask him to do X in school, he does it.  I’m drowning and tired of explaining this to him all the time that sometimes we need to take baby steps to do it right.  I’ve always encouraged free thought, exploration, etc, but he also needs to know how to just Do What Is Asked.  I typed up a list of expectations for him during school work with steps (stop talking and listen, think about it, and follow instructions, etc), because he also will talk over me frequently and is very emotional.

    Any morals/books/workbooks/resources/videos/websites/help?

    • Like 1
  3. 3 hours ago, frogger said:

     

     

    Honestly, I don't use an all in one and think it would be easier at times. I can't because my children have some disabilities and others just have quirks but we incessantly feel behind and I think that is a cultural thing to some extent. In other words, I feel many feel in the same boat.

    Ita.  I wish I could use an all in one.  I have a hard time fitting one curriculum to each subject without any issues.  

    • Like 1
  4. I think this shows up a lot with unintentional homeschoolers.  The public school system in many places is inadequate, doesn’t provide needed services, is a poor fit, and a family might spend hours afterschooling and just decide to homeschool as it is the best of bad choices.  With atypical learners (special needs, gifted, physical or emotional differences), homeschooling may be the only realistic option but not what a parent was expecting to do.

     

    ETA- atypical students also require much more time/energy/planning/emotions, etc, so the ability and time for self care is limited or nonexistent.  And think of how society has changed.  I think it’s more common to not live near family or other support and that makes child rearing harder as well.  

    ETA2- I apologize for my wording that implies homeschooling is a bad choice and I hope I didn’t offend anyone!  After reading it, I didn’t explain well.  Someone who originally decided to homeschool because of a failure of the public or private school system may view homeschooling as a “making the best of it” option but may come to view it as the best option possible.  Regardless, even with open minds and desire to homeschool, in a situation where it is done by default, it may be harder than a desired first option choice.  

    • Like 7
  5. Welcome back!  If those three were my options I’d probably choose based on practicalities like finances and climate primarily.  Even the “strict” homeschool states would not deter me if I wanted to go somewhere.  Sorry I don’t have more useful advice but I wanted to wish you well!

    • Like 1
  6. 5 hours ago, SereneHome said:

     

    Yes!  I think that's what it is.  And I think bc of that he has this inherent need to control things, events, etc.  Like I can't surprise him even with something good bc he needs time to mentally prepare himself for it. 

    I also hate good surprises.  I’m neuro typical so I’ll just chalk it up to a spectrum of likes/dislikes.  Or that the good surprises I’ve been exposed to were not good imo, but the other person thought they were good. 🙂

  7. I think it depends on how much this is bothering you, frequency, side effects, etc.  Vomiting more than rarely may lead to problems (electrolyte disturbances, bleeding, etc).  If you have vomiting more than rarely, I would consult a gastroenterologist and pursue the tests.  It’s a not so common diagnosis that needs a specialist.  Associated diagnoses could be abdominal migraines.

    I think a good first step is starting a diary to assess patterns- is it associated with stress, illness, dehydration, certain foods, exercise, hormones, etc?  You may see an obvious clue.  You could also do an initial consult with GI and be upfront and state you’re not interested in a procedure and just want to explore possibilities.  A lot of GI diagnoses are based on testing, though.

    • Like 1
  8. Are you able to make up your own materials/quizzes/tests?  I think most subjects nowadays are more like open book because of the internet, with the exception of in-house tests.  

    I would prepare a short lecture about cheating, and the idea that they need to understand what they’re copying vs just trying to get through.  Is physics mandatory?  Is it super competitive?  I’d search for reasoning why the rates are so high too.  Cheating and lack thereof can be enforced sometimes externally, but the best is an intrinsic motivation to not cheat.  Idk...

    • Like 2
  9. Idk the age you're parenting, but a great series is https://www.amazon.com/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542999392&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=when+worry+kid+book&dpPl=1&dpID=51kmpp5bl5L&ref=plSrch

    This is the worry book but there are many others.  They are workbook activities to talk through and read together, and any part you get to that may be helpful can illuminate more specific things to work on (self regulation or new situations, etc).

    Have you noticed other behaviors that may be related to autism?  What you’re describing is common in ASD, so I’d peek at a diagnosis website a bit to see if you may benefit more looking into it- 

    https://iancommunity.org/cs/autism/dsm_iv_criteria

    • Like 4
  10. Happypamama, 

    I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and your family this holiday season and I hope you’re doing well.  Happy Thanksgiving.

    • Like 3
  11. 2 hours ago, Heatherwith4 said:

     I’ll be interested to hear other’s answers.  I live where people seem to love to carry a gun, so that changes how I react in a lot of situations.  

    I do not confront verbally aggressive strangers for fear of guns.  If it were a physical assault I may intervene, depending on the situation, but would more than likely just call the cops.

    • Like 1
  12. I would sniff check pillows, mattresses, and closets/dressers.  Ime it would be clothes worn once and then put away as if clean, but they are not clean.  Also, if shoes are kept in your bedroom I’d give them a sniff test too.  

    Eta- especially check clothes that are typically worn multiple times before washing (business suits/jackets).  It may also be something simple like a shirt that fell in a weird place and was lost that smells bad.

    • Like 4
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