lots of little ducklings
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Posts posted by lots of little ducklings
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Oh, and a well-designed, organized flow to your space can help. We keep socks right next to the shoes/coats/hats/etc in the basement beside the garage door. (Because my dcs never wear socks at home and I got tired of running baaaaack upstairs 14 times to collect them.) We keep travel snacks in a bin by that door, too. Biggies are expected to help the littles with carseat buckles. And diaper supplies + a porta-potty (bucket and baggies, really) + seasonal stuff (like the beach bag) + my purse are always kept in the van too. But still, it's crazy getting out, especially if I must be on time.
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Garage set-up is key for us too. Ours is attached, so my children have grown accustomed to sitting buckled in the van for 15 minutes while I get siblings and myself ready.
And I allow a minimum of 15 minutes for the whole process, so I'm not quite as stressed.
It is easier for me now that the older two are more independent, but one suggestion for littles is a picture guide that shows what they need to do, in the right order, to get out the door. My dcs nursery school taught me this trick and it's served us well in moving them toward independence.
And yet. Even so. I avoid leaving the house at all costs, wish there was a drive-thru for everything, hate snow gear, always arrive places with absent-minded DS missing his shoes, and can't wait to burn all 5 (expletive deleted) carseats in a huge bonfire someday.
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When children disrespect us for setting limits, increasing the limits never increases respect. Disrespect should decrease the limits you set, not increase them.
And they will NOT get it out of their system.
Brain development is different, depending on what a child is exposed to. You are building brains right now. It is critical that you provide the stimulus to the areas of the brain you think the child will be using as an adult. Some computer time is good, but too much will create a brain more dependent on computers, as the other areas of the brain did not develop as well as possible.
Children need to be listening and reading text. They need to be drawing and listening to music. They need to be running and jumping. It's critical to their brain development.
They also need to have their mental health watched over. Movement and time spent outside increase mental health. Also rhythms in the home and in nature. Spiritual activities are important, too.
This. This. This. This. This.
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It looks like you've got a lot of green lights, to me. :-)
Just to add one more green light to that, I tutored a family of four for four years (had one pre-k child of my own at the time too). Since their mom had passed away unexpectedly, "tutoring" often really included everything, dawn to dusk: cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry and school. Until the last year, "school" was almost exclusively in their home.
It really worked out beautifully. We were all on the same page as far as goals, worldview, and parenting styles. I had a lot of freedom to choose curriculum while the family just reviewed my choices and paid for it (they could have vetoed anything, but never did), and it confirmed my desire to hs my own children. When minor differences arose, we both just exercised a lot of grace. So glad I did it! Two are now succeeding at a top-notch college... Makes me weepy :-)
So... it sounds like you've been presented with a similarly "good" situation, too. HTH!
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I found a mini-punch at staples (staples brand) last summer for a really cheap price (under $10; possible around $5 but I can't recall) with the holes set perfectly for my Russell+Hazel mini binders. It isn't adjustable but if it works, the price can't be beat.
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Phooey- missed kbutton's replies while I typed, but ditto to all that!
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Thank you everyone for your insight.
I should explain more information.
I homeschool three step daughters who have been diagnosed with severe asthma, allergies and psychosocial dwarfism. They are spacey and one has learning disabilities. They are on multiple medications.
My 4yrs old son has autism and has rages. My 1yrs old --so far so good but very very active, takes limited naps and not verbal yet.
I am pretty organized but I do keep the family busy. One of my kids have speech three times a week at two different places. The kids have their Awanas, Hacker Scouts, gymnastics, homeschool park days, spanish, science, critical thinking classes.
My husband is great about shopping. He does all the shopping because he says I am not good at it. He also does all the dinner cooking because he doesn't trust me in the kitchen. Even though I cook breakfast and lunch. We are gluten free and casein free.
So as soon as he is home after shopping, he cooks dinner. He also does maintain the computer systems to the best of his ability. He has tried to read to the kids or do lessons but he falls asleep in the middle of it. He does get up early in the morning but he also stays up late on the computer for various reasons/explanations. I am usually long asleep when he is on the computer.
When he is home, he wants us to do what he wants. He is pretty good natured when I want to go to the science museum or something like that. But his ability to handle certain issues is limited. For example my dsd passed out yesterday at the museum and he kind of walked away. I needed help to get something to prop her legs up to get blood to her head as I was staying close to her checking her breathing and vials (I was an EMT prior to getting these last kids). I called him back to help me to get the jacket in the stroller to use to prop her feet up but he just stood there a little dumbfounded. A disconnect in communication perhaps but it was rather frustrating. Regardless, I am glad he was there at least he could hold the baby while I was dealing with our daughter. He wouldn't talk much after the event-it was like he was annoyed at her for passing out.
He does take my kids to evening activities and this started recently so I can catch up on corrections and such. And get a break.
When I ask him what he wants me to use to teach the girls...he just said "Just use what the school uses." HUH? The schools textbook changes each year and because we move cities every couple of years, each school district chooses their own books and uses different publishers each year and now with Common Core--everything changes. I tell him the books we are using and asks him what he thinks and he says "why don;t you do what I tell you to do which is use the School textbooks" and I said "the ones I use seem better than the schools textbooks." Then he says "well then since you know everything... why bother asking me?" Maybe he has a point. I tell him the charter school we are with allows us to choose from various books and it just would be nice to have another person sitting down with me and looking and talking about the books. I am mean goodness..These are his daughter-his flesh and blood and my stepdaughters. I want my stepdaughter to have the best possible education that I can give them.
The other issue is the money spent on curriculum. I showed him the Rainbow Resource catalog and he said "I am not reading this. Why are you using this? This has Bible stuff in there. Aren't you not supposed to use Christian stuff?" I had to explain it has non Christian stuff and that our charter school allows us to shop from the company.
I am just doing my best but I don;t want to resent my husband or be mad at him. I would love for him to understand just what I do all day and night sometimes. He is in general pretty easy going but perhaps maybe clueless about being an involved dad as his dad was not involved whatsoever. In fact his dad was so uninvolved that he doesn;t talk to either parents. He doesnt miss them whatsoever. I do tell them that the kids are growing up fast and please to spend as much time with them because soon they won;t want to spend time with us.
Wow. I am truly amazed at the unique challenges you are facing. Sorry if I missed any of this in your siggy (I can't view those on mobile). A huge bravo to you for all you are already accomplishing in a day!
Some quick thoughts in light of that context:
1. Do you feel you can/should cut back on extracurriculars or elective subjects? Charter school may limit your options on this, but your schedule sounds really really heavy to me. I'd already be long burnt-out if I were trying to maintain that, even with a supportive hubby.
2. My DH doesn't formally teach the kids, nor do I try to school when he's home. Kids are just too excited around him, his schedule is regular, and our school obligations are intentionally kept to a manageable level, so it's possible to complete most work when he's gone. But I can totally see why you'd feel you need that assistance, particularly with your 4 yr old's special needs. Still, even if your DH were helping, would weekends/evenings work for your DSDs? Fit their rhythms? Or do you really need daytime assistance?
3. It sounds like communication is a real sticking-point with you and DH, I'm guessing you don't feel you are on the same page, and resolving this issue is probably key to everything else. Do you feel counseling (pastoral, or professional) would help? Or even just a restful retreat w/ hubby away from stresses at home?
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I love to hear about all these great dads! And how they are all using their own unique gifts and personalities and resources to enrich their children's lives. They all have their own different approach, too, which is an important thing to note, OP (and Mr. OP, too). :-)
I too am blessed with a DH who is committed to his children. His own dad was largely absentee (and in many ways also a terrible role model), so he's committed to breaking that chain. And DH isn't exactly young; at 52 (with 5 children ages 6 and under) he really understands how precious time is and prioritizes the kids even when he'd rather just crash from exhaustion.
So here's how it looks for us: DH is the sole breadwinner, which a BIG DEAL. We both agree that the kids need me at home and he's made huge career sacrifices to allow this. He's an introvert, but in spite of being a computer scientist, he's gladly sacrificed technology in our home for the sake of our budget and our time together (no Internet, no gaming, no cable of any kind; just the smartphone that we share, DVDs from the library, and his iPod). He's given up most of his screen time; instead he decompresses by biking to/from work while listening to audiobooks. That way he's energized again by the time the kids attack him with kisses at the door. After dcs are in bed, he goes back to audiobooks or hobbies and most evenings we are working/relaxing together in the same room so we can talk casually without making any big "dialogue time" appointments (which he'd hate). Aaaaaand.... (Please note this, Mr. OP)......."No-screen-time-entertainment-except-on-weekends" means the kids sleep better at night, my emotional needs are met, and we therefore have a lot more time and energy to meet DHs needs too. ;-) ;-)
For schooling, I'm largely in charge of curriculum, methodology, formal teaching, etc. but DH is a major source of support. He talks me down from the ledge when necessary, and gives great feedback, esp. w/ DS who has inherited daddy's learning style, not mommy's. For now, any teaching he does is incidental, but he'll cover sciences as kids get older.
Around the house I do most things, including bills and finances. But he manages the wake up routines for the kids because I'm not good w/ people in themornings, and he manages bedtime routines too, because I'm shot by the end of the day. He doesn't cook or clean, but he does all the dishes at night, and takes care of his own laundry. And (a biggie), he takes the kids out most Saturdays for several hours so I get the house to myself to clean, finish projects, prep school, and just get a break from the kids. Plus, he gets time with them to do things HIS way (not mine); which means adventure, risks, exercise, outdoor time, and shopping cart races in the aisles at target. (Which apparently is cute when daddies do it; i'd just get the evil eye if i tried it). He and the kids LOVE Saturdays. DH misses it now when he can't do it (even though the idea of it used to overwhelm him).
So blessings to you both as you find out what works best for you. It's truly rewarding!
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I have family in Tega cay. It's really very nice.
This! We lived here for 2 years just after marrying-- no kids at the time so I can't speak to hs-ing, but we loved it.
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Just saw posts from Jennifer N -- I'll check these out too! Thx for the info.
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I use this size for our "breakfast notebooks," and just created a template page on my own using Word. Most of my pages are non-consumable and designed for specific memory work (I laminate them so my dcs can write and erase with expos), so I made the pages larger than half size and threw the remaining scraps in the craft drawer after printing them out and cutting them. You could certainly create your own ruled paper the same way and design it perfectly to your liking; but if you plan to go through lots, the wasted scraps would be annoying. :-(
Will be tracking this thread to see if anyone has found a better solution!
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We really love prismacolor too.... For artsy stuff, that is (like SOTW coloring sheets).
But crayola's erasable colored pencils (that come pre-sharpened w/ an eraser on each pencil) have worked beautifully for adding color to b&w math workbook pages and other worksheets where erasability is needed but color is a motivating bonus. Love them.
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I've used 100EZ successfully with four children (2 my own); and one child succeeded even in spite of dyslexia, though with him I incorporated a lot of additional "encoding" practice (sounding out and writing words, as opposed to decoding, or reading) with each lesson. It's been a gentle, inexpensive, easy-to-implement program for us. And with our oldest, we were able to seamlessly follow-up 100EZ with Spalding. In his case, Spalding would have been a rough place to start, at least at the age he started 100EZ. His fine motor skills would have been a monumental hurdle with Spalding. DD4, on the other hand, could easily launch into Spalding even now, but 100EZ has been fun for her (she begs for it) so we are beginning there again.
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#5 (boy #2 for us) is due mid-May. (I'm purposely being vague about the due date, as the last 3 were each nearly 2 weeks late. It was so much easier on me with #4 when I mentally adjusted the date to accommodate my tendency toward little slow-pokes!) :-) congrats to everyone else who's posted! Spring babies are such fun.
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He sounds so much like my DS6. And I had such wonderful plans in place! :-)
What worked for us was throwing out my schedule and plans. (It was either that or quit hs-ing.) In November, I essentially dropped everything except reading (seat work like FLL and WWE? Out the window. Math? Ditched it. Science and SOTW? Back-burner. Memory-work? Stalled.). Basically, I just "kept up" with Spalding because reading was his weakest area, though even there I dropped the writing and spelling components (which sounds horrible, doesn't it?, since it is, after all, the writing road to reading.) DS6 just jumped around on the bed reciting the phonogram cards, we did "writing" exercises on the board (no paper, and I did all the writing), and he read to me daily from the readers sold on the Spalding site. We didn't go anywhere near the "school" table for two months.
And he made tremendous strides in his reading fluency, started to smile a whole lot more, and looks forward to school days now, even though we have this month very slowwwwwwly added back mem work, math, and even spelling. FLL will return next week.
So fwiw, relaxing the pace for a while was in the end a huge help. Hs-ing is a joy for both of us again.
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Styrofoam block + plastic hammer + golf tees (blunt the points if they are too sharp). A winner in my son's nursery school. He could hammer away forever.
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I'm sympathetic-- my DS6 is highly distractible so all school right now is done with me alone in a quiet room (no DD4, DD3, or DD1 around.) It does help that the girls sometimes have their sisters to occupy them, but between nursery school for DD4 and naps for DD1, that's often not the case. So over the years all have learned (like it or not) to play independently in a child-friendly room behind a baby gate. It's been great for their imaginations.
That said, if I had a super-social butterfly who really thrived with tons of people-time, I'd consider pre-school (if it fit the budget), or a good playdate situation. For example, a friend last year had a very lonely toddler at home after her older child started full time ps. She was delighted to take my daughter one day a week (even picking her up and dropping her off--bless her heart!) Gave me lots of one-on-one with DS.
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For me, Dorothy Sayers' Lost Tools of Learning was pivotal-- it showed me there really was a "better" way to educate students than what I was seeing in PSs. TWTM then gave me a clear map to follow. I read both long before marriage/children, and knew that if I ever had children, I'd. want. this. for my family. So the "how-to" aspect of TWTM wasn't overwhelming or irrelevant (to me, at least). It encouraged me, because I felt like I really could accomplish homeschooling if I wanted to. But for a less "how-to," more "inspirational" read, many love Leigh Bortins' "The Core."
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Chicken piccata. Or you could just double your last-night's-dinner and send it my way. I'm sitting here drooling. We've eaten nothing but baked ziti for, I don't know, 6 years? (picky children grumble sigh)
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The last thing you need right now is one more person pulling at you.
That said, I know how hard it is to say NO and not add some kind of reason or excuse or disclaimer.
So, while you work on "No - period" I see no problem with saying, as a PP suggested, "I am stretched too thin right now." Or "it's just too far and too much time away from home - I can't leave my kids for that long" or "I just don't feel right about being away so much" or "I am so exhausted I am only keeping the most essential commitments."
Personally, I have had pretty good results with self-deprecation: "I am such a curmudgeon/hermit/homebody - it's best for humanity if I leave the house as little as possible." Even when people recommend something to me, without inviting me to do it with them - "you'd love this play" - I say, "if they were performing in my living room, I'd watch, but I'm not going to drag myself out for it."
Agree! :-) DH and I are both introverts and old parents with young kiddos, and recently started practicing plain old honesty.... We. are. tired. Has worked with great reception. No failed friendships and so far everyone has understood.
And if your friend doesn't understand?? Leave the kids with her for the weekend and take a vacation with hubby. She'll be on the same page by Monday. :-)
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Birch trees cross-pollinate with lots of things. So, when it is pollen season for the birch tree there are lots of fruits that cause me to have a reaction.
I found this chart that is helpful. It might give you some ideas about what/when to avoid certain foods.
This is me -- I've always had tree allergies but developed certain raw fruit/ raw nut/ raw veggie allergies as an adult. Finally saw an allergist last year when the usual itchy throat began to also react with swelling. It's called Oral Food Allergy, and can affect anyone with tree allergies (not just birch). If I understand it correctly, it's not really about cross-pollination; it's just that the proteins in certain foods are very similar to certain pollens, and some immune systems begin to react to both. Cooking can break down the proteins so many are only affected by raw, uncooked foods (though I was told to avoid all tree nuts, cooked or otherwise, because those proteins don't break down as quickly). Quick home test my allergist recommended: just prick your skin, apply the raw food, and watch for any results. It can help you narrow down the lists of potential foods you may react too.
And it stinks. (Sigh.) I looooove raw fruits/veggies/nuts.
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Our morning chore routine is fairly extensive, and my dcs are still little enough for afternoon/evening meltdowns, so we just have an afternoon tidy-up session around 4pm, followed by quiet play, reading, finishing up schoolwork, or a movie. (Basically anything that prevents lots of new messes.) Plus the usual set-the-table and clear-the-table responsibilities, but those aren't a big deal. We are all too tired by dinner to add much more to the p.m. chore list just yet.
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Love the ideas! We celebrated it last year with a half-day of school, spending the snowy afternoon at an inexpensive little indoor amusement park w/ DH and greasy pizza. Kids loved it.
Our 100th is fast approaching, so I'll have start brainstorming....
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OP- do you school year-round? Or try to fit it all into 9 months?
My dcs are still all little and I'm pregnant, so my exhaustion is of a different type, but back in October it became clear that I couldn't keep going at the pace I wanted. (The kids alternated breaks, but I was working 8a-6p; with barely a lunch and no time for dinner prep). Establishing kid chores (which you do already) helped a lot; but reducing our workload (eliminating redundant or mastered language arts work, for example, and focusing only on skills that truly needed practice) plus spreading our goals year-round really helped my energy level a lot. Now if only my 6 year-old could cook. I still haven't worked out a system to provide economical healthy family dinners for my carb-loving hyper-picky-eating dcs, and my DH just informed me he'd like to go paleo..... Sheesh. Love the idea, don't get me wrong, but we may have to hire a cook/nutritionist to satisfy everyone's needs, including my own sanity :-)
Help me get out of the house with small children
in The Chat Board
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Which is why mine walk around wearing their oatmeal. :-) I decided it was still better than dressing after breakfast. If they are especially dressed up (say, for church), well, then, it's nothing but dry cereal and water for breakfast. I'm mean. :-)