Tita Gidge
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Posts posted by Tita Gidge
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I don't know that I've ever left my kids home alone alone, come to think of it.
When my older kids were at the right age, we lived with my parents, brothers, and grandparents. There was always an adult around. I don't even know what age I would say I'd felt comfortable with it, it just wasn't on my radar at all.
My middle boys are close in age (four boys, four years apart in age) and spent most of their lives living with me and my brothers. I think they've been left home alone as a group but none of them has ever stayed home as an individual. I'd say there were probably capable of it by the time the eldest of them was 10; easily. They're all older teens now.
My youngest is 11 and capable of staying home alone, but she doesn't like to. She's well equipped to handle most emergencies, but doesn't feel confident in her ability to. I told her brothers that she's going to end up living with some of them when she moves out of my home (as a young adult) so to be prepared LOL.
I really think a lot of it is a personality thing.
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I hate spending a lot on shoes.
Pre-kids I loved to shop. I was thin and liked cute clothing, and they looked good on me. I had a career and bought clothing and shoes. Mind you, I never bought anything over $100 each, but I would often find things on sale in the $30-$50 range and didn't bat an eye at buying a few pair.
I need shoes. I only have ONE pair I can wear to work. I want at least 2 more pair but the kind I want are $85 new but about $40-$45 on some sale sights.
I should just go ahead and get two pair, right?
I feel like I should wait for a paycheck first, but I really need them by the time school starts.
I very much considered work shoes a mandatory extension of my 'uniform' and I paid accordingly. For me this is a no-brainer:
1. It's an investment in terms of quality, not a frivolous purchase. You'll wear these regularly.
2. It's an investment in terms of time, not something to try to deal with once school starts (if need arises).
3. It's an investment in terms of outlay, not a cheaper pair that will need more frequent replacing.
To me shoes are like mattresses - both are something we spend a significant amount of time "in" or "on" and neither are a time to skimp. I always figure one-ply TP and generic groceries exist so we can splurge on the things that truly matter LOL. Like most investments, the time to invest is at the beginning. Don't think twice about it, buy the two pair now.
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My ex-husband was not originally supportive of homeschooling, but he went along for the ride with some caveats: math/science were important to him and he wanted to pre-approve my choice of curricula. In real life, that meant he attended one homeschool conference with me, his eyes glazed over and his head started spinning in circles and after that he just left me to do my own thing LOL. I made a point to choose curricula that would ease his concerns, even though I knew he'd never seriously look at it or care if it meant he had to pay attention to me talking about it. What brought him fully around to homeschooling were two things:
1. I required him to start taking the child in question to story time at the library. This was one of our middle sons (our older ones were in preschool and early elementary at the public school at that time) and he saw for himself IN A REAL TIME SITUATION that this child was not going to do well in a traditional classroom. It took him a few weeks to see it, but it did imprint him. And,
2. I have full custody but I make the homeschooled kids available to him on his days off (which are weekdays) and for weeks during the school year that are good for off-season travel. He's always lived 2-5 hours away. He loves hiking and camping so I offer him two weeks in the fall and two weeks in the spring to take the kids outdoors - rather than lock in a specific time, we can be flexible around the weather and anything else going on. This appeals to him. He rarely acts on it but knowing he has the option makes him receptive to homeschooling. When his parents want to visit, I drop all school and allow the visit to happen - and they never give advance notice, they'll drive out (takes 2 days) with no warning. It's inconvenient and annoying, but I'm willing to endure those if it makes him have positive associations with homeschooling.
Every year I invite him to a conference, but he always declines. Every year I email him the kids' curricula, but he never acknowledges it. Every year I print and send him a hard copy of the kids' school schedules (including our public school kids) and important dates and contact info, but he never mentions it. I figure if I keep him in the loop, he knows I'm always willing to discuss it with him and he'll remain open to homeschooling. At this point I don't need him to be because I have sole custody LOL but I want him to feel like he has some input and definite knowledge of what's going on in his kids' lives. It's win-win-win for me, him and the kids.
Now,
He has never wanted me to send school work for the kids to do at his house. So I never did, even for my public school kids who had homework. That would have hurt our cause, he just wanted to be the fun guy. That's a trade-off I was willing to accept. We started year-round schooling to give us flexibility for the rare times our kids visited him or when his parents were in town. But this year he surprised me by asking if I could find him a "good" art program to use with our youngest (who is the only one of our kids to regularly visit him) - apparently she asked him to do it with her and he agreed! Shocker! We've been homeschooling for over ten years and this is the most interest he's ever shown.
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A woman at my church is a CPA who quit working after her third child. Her husband is an NFL scout who is often on the road. She tutors math to kids at our local public school, which is pretty flexible and not too hard to work around her husband's fluctuating work schedule. Because it's MATH, and occasionally CHEMISTRY, people are willing to pay on the higher end of what tutors might normally earn.
Does your husband have a regular schedule that you can plan around? I know you said computer work wasn't ideal but it's the most flexible (in my opinion). I retired about three years ago, but a former client contacted me and asked me to work on a temporary project. It's a 2-3 year project as a technical writer, integrating the training manuals of his existing company with the company he just bought. Even though I'm not a technical writer by trade or experience, he's paying me the going rate of $55/hour. It's nowhere near what I earned before but it's worth getting out of bed for. My kids are older so I leave them at home and go write at the library, the Starbucks, etc. Your kids are younger so that's not an option but it might be if your husband had a regular schedule you could work around. I'm sure there are technical writing jobs for CPAs. I'm only expected to work 10-12 hours a week, so it's very part-time.
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I have experience with travel baseball and travel soccer.
The baseball tournaments were usually drives of 8 hours or less. Parents drove or carpooled; lots of families came for the tournaments and made a trip of it. Hotels were usually Holiday Inn Express - small, clean, pools, free wifi and breakfasts.
Soccer tournaments were further (two day drives that included an overnight). There was a chartered bus or 15-passenger van, plus 1-2 parent cars. There were always a minimum of two adults in the chartered vehicle, usually three (team manager, coach, assistant coach). We stayed at Embassy Suites exclusively with one team, and at either Embassy or Doubletree with another team. Parents could stay in any hotel they chose but it was strongly encouraged for the boys to room together at the team's designated hotel (which we were required to pay for regardless of where the boy stayed). Few families came to watch these tournaments. I was always one of maybe 2-3 parents in attendance and I flew and rented a car; I never drove with the team.
I don't even let my ex-husband leave with my kids in the middle of the night to start a drive. I just don't think it's necessary, and I'd rather pay an extra night's hotel fee than to risk a tired or distracted driver in the dark hours of morning. I might feel differently if it were a paid, professional driver accustomed to working a night shift ... but even then I'd have reservations.
Staying in seedy areas wouldn't bother me too much but I've lived in that type of area :lol:. Right now we live in an area where most people accrue hotel points from work or credit cards, so there's an understanding that we stay at certain brands. People are comfortable financially. They all want a good deal and will shop for a great price, but not at the expense of staying at a familiar brand in the most convenient, prominent location.
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Soy products are "iffy" so I would only eat them in low moderation. They are protective if you've had them your whole life, but may not be so good if introduced later in life. (That's my understanding of where the research is murkier.)
This is what we were told also.
My cousin has metastatic stage 4 breast cancer and has been treated (traditionally allopathically) for 11 years.
My aunt (unrelated to us biologically, she married our maternal uncle) also has breast cancer. She has been treating it holistically for 10 years. Hers is a different kind than my cousin's. Also, hers has grown some but hasn't moved beyond her breast.
Their doctors have only ever agreed on one thing: soy is "safe" if you've always eaten it, but that you should avoid if it's not part of your traditional diet. They says the research is still developing in that area, but that this is the safest recommendation they can make at this time.
My cousin ate a very traditional Asian diet, which included soybean .. but not soy product. There's a difference. My aunt grew up 7th Day Adventist (I think? It's a faith where they are vegetarian) and didn't begin eating soy until she was an adult. And it was primarily soy product (fake meats, soy milk, etc.) as opposed to natural soybean.
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It'd be high $600K - high $700K for a fairly remodeled home built during the 90s. It'd have new paint, new counters, new flooring, but maybe just painted cabinets or maybe just new kitchen cabinets (but older, painted bathroom cabinets). But the 90s stuff would be high quality, just outdated. Most homes in this area were custom built, not sold by builders or developers. The acre would be manicured.
It used to be that all new homes were required to be a minimum of an acre. That changed 2-3 years ago, and now new homes are only required to be a minimum of a half-acre. Because of that, a newer home on an acre is at a premium because they're fewer and farther between. Those homes would start at $1m or so. We also now have developers and builders coming in, so many entire neighborhoods are only semi-custom.
I live in an affluent pocket of a low COL area. 30 minutes down the road this same house could be had brand-new, builder-standard quality for $200 or so. You'd have to factor in the tearing down of an older home (1920s-1970s) in order to get an acre lot size.
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Our house is about 4400 sq.ft. and has four roomy bedrooms (the smallest is 14 x 14) each with its own bathroom. It's an older house that was designed and built by doctor who had a large family, which made it perfect for us. Right now we are six kids and two adults.
My brother has his own room. I put my middle four boys (teens) in the master. It has an adjoining sitting room that we transformed into an area for my nephew when he moved in last year; so technically there are five boys sharing the master. I only have one daughter at home so she has her "own" room, but we had shared it until this summer. Now It'll double as a guest room. We had been using the fourth bedroom as a guest room/home office, but we're bringing home a relative's baby this winter and are currently re-doing it into a room for me and the baby.
Basements are not common where I live. This house had more square footage than we needed when we bought it, but everything else about it was perfect for us. I lived with twice as many siblings and my grandparents in a home that was about 1/5 the size of mine. I'm sure it was illegal, if not then than it would be now LOL. But we were immigrants, plus we lived in a much more desirable climate then. I live in a lower COL area now where you can get a larger house for cheaper because it feels like we're living in the nation's sweaty, hot, and probably diseased, groin.
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I started all of mine out with just a savings account. It at least gave them somewhere to start. Once they started driving, we opened checking accounts with a debit card. I'm not sure about banks that open a checking account at 12...at least I don't know of any.
What I found helpful is to set up online banking for our accounts and connect them. (I don't know how many banks do this). We all have accounts at the same credit union, and I can transfer money between the accounts online. I am joint owner on all of the accounts. This allowed them to save, but then transfer the money to my checking if they wanted to order something online.
ETA: And now it is super helpful when I need the girls to pick up something from the store for me, or they need emergency gas money..etc.
This is what I did with each of mine, too. And now that most of them are older teenagers, I agree to how helpful it STILL is!
We opened up savings account from a young age. My ex-husband's family comes from a culture where gifts are almost always cash, so it made sense. From the age of 8 or so I'd walk them in so they could fill out the deposit slips, etc. and learn how to non-digitally bank. My ex-husband teased me but I thought they should still know how to do it old school!
We did open checking accounts for them at 13, when the bank allowed. The kids all had passports and I'm a joint owner on the account. This linked their accounts to mine both at the ATM and online. At the same time we linked their savings accounts as an "overdraft" account so that if they overdraw their checking account, there'd be no fees; the money would be taken from savings. The bank issued a debit card but I never activated it for any of the kids. I didn't want them losing it (which they would have) nor did I want ME to lose it (which I would have. I lose mine at least once a year.) At this point I try to get them in the habit of carrying a wallet.
Once they start driving, and can carry a wallet without misplacing it too often, we go back in and get a new debit card. This time we activate it and it's all theirs to keep and to use. Two of mine still walk in to deposit their checks LOL. The others just use the ATM. I still walk in, too. I'm all about the free lollipops at the counter :)
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I have high schoolers in both public high school and at home school. They all work, but it's largely non-traditional or seasonal jobs.
They don't work at say, a restaurant or retail place on a regular schedule. They ump baseball and ref soccer during the season, offer private lessons during season, camps off-season, and have odd jobs in between (like garage sales, pet sitting, etc) The flexibility keeps work from interfering too much with school.
In my culture, the student's job is to be a student. The parents typically fund everything, mostly things they (parents) want their kids to do. I'm trying to work with my kids in the culture they're being raised around, which is so different. My compromise is that they can work but it's considered an extra curricular that can't/won't interfere with family time or school. And I don't want them on a regular schedule somewhere like a restaurant or retail during high school; they have to create their own jobs because their primary job is to be a good student.
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Notgrass didn't fit with our worldview, but everyone I know IRL who shares their worldview has used - and loved - their government and history programs.
I'm going to use Homeschool Connections. They offer a year's unlimited access to all of their recorded classes for the set price of $330 (which would be too high for just one class, but worthwhile if you found other classes to also take). Or you can choose the monthly subscription fee of $30/month
PROS:
They have a number of civics and government offerings to choose from, of varying lengths to equal or fill a semester. We're going to do a 6-week class on American Elections followed by a 12-week course on the Federalist Papers. Classes are recorded and viewed at your convenience. Many of the courses require no additional purchase as resources are provided free by the teacher. Answer keys, etc. and everything the teacher needs is also provided and included free. You have a year to complete the course - a true year from the time of purchase, not an imposed year with a specific start day. They offer a trial period for you to see how you like the classes before you commit, or a reasonable (equivalent to a textbook) monthly subscription fee if you can complete the class in that time.
CONS:
It won't fit everyone's worldview. If you prefer to be hands-on teaching (and not just grading) this isn't a good fit. If you prefer to be hands-off completely, this is not a good fit. The material and classes are largely online, which won't work for all kids' personality and learning preferences.
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We travel a lot. We don't have tablets nor do the kids have kindles or smart phones. They usually read the entire time, or nap, but other things that they do (especially my 11 year old):
seconding these:
card games
mad libs
regular games:
drawing - each person picks one item (e.g., ant, lightbulb, toast) and everyone draws their own picture with those items.
drawing - one person is blindfolded while another one tells them what to draw; (e.g., an eyeball, an airplane, a smiley face).
bingo - plan ahead; make and laminate some sheets, bring a wet erase marker (e.g., a pub, an elderly man, a woman in a hat).
flashcards - my 11 year old loves Latin. She brings her Memoria Press flashcards and makes me quiz her against her brothers!
flashcards - we're just competitive people; I found $1 World Monument flashcards at Target and quizzed the kids on our last train ride
memory - go through the alphabet one person at a time with a theme (e.g. "Cities") each time repeating every answer prior to yours.
with a clip board:
origami
paracord projects
duct tape crafts (it gets loud for a car with the tearing, though)
and this seems hokey, but even my teens jump in:
Competitive Etch A Sketch :lol: we each suggest 3-4 ideas, write them out and fold them up, then draw an idea (blind) to sketch
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I have a binder for each kid, the kind with the clear thing on the outside? In the front I put a "Suggested Daily Schedule" and in the back I put the "School Calendar" with all of our year marked up. I also have kids in public school so we take off all the same holidays, plus our birthdays, plus religious holidays, plus I factor in teacher out-service days (those are the days they know I'm unavailable to them because I'm traveling or taking a 'mental health' day of my own).
Inside the binder I use those dividers that have numbered tabs from 1-12, they represent each grade. Each grade has at least one sheet of paper titled "Plans for X Grade" where I've estimated a long-term plan. Some grades have multiple papers with this title, as I hem and haw or as new curricula are introduced. I don't throw away old plans. It seems silly to hold on to them, but I re-think so often that saving an old plan saves me from accidentally re-planning a plan that I've already decided won't work. (I know. I'm weird. I like to plan, but I forget what I plan so I re-plan the plan, and ... let's just say it's kinda scary in my head LOL.)
Each completed grade has another sheet of paper titled "X Grade - Completed" where I list everything we did for the year, including extracurricular activities, volunteering, and main resources. I don't give my kids tests or grades from 1-8th grade, but starting with high school I also throw in some sample work - a few tests, essays, etc. - and standardized test scores.
I do keep a similar binder for my public school kids, too, though less specific (I don't list resources, but I'll note subjects they've covered in classes).
And I have a Mama's Binder. That's where I shove all my thoughts and papers and research until they're ready to be filed in a specific kid's binder. It's also where I organize things that will affect multiple children: notes on standardized tests, scout and sports schedules/contact info, co-op plans, etc. Mostly it's a physical representation of my brain. It's pretty messy but everything's there; I just have to hunt around for it when I need it!
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My middle boys are close in age (4 of them in 6 years) and two of them sound a lot like your son. I used to wonder if they'd go into sales or sermons LOL. But I can tell you that now, as older teenagers, they're amazing! At an age where so many their age consider a few grunts to be a full blown conversation, it's nice that my two chatty boys are so conversational. It helped that over the years they learned to filter somewhat, instead of sharing every passing thought! And that was absolutely something we had to work on ... actively ... the same way we worked on shoe tying and using the toilet.
When they were younger and I just couldn't take any more, I'd hop in the shower. I still do this as a mini-escape when I need a "time out" from whatever is going on at home. It's part hot, relaxing water and part being alone. It's a chance to formulate a single complete thought of my own or a chance to blank out and not think at all. It's standing there crying, or standing there breathing myself out of an anxiety attack/fit of anger. It's "medicating" with a beer in there with me or "medicating" with spendy smelly soap that instantly boosts my mood. Sometimes I'd take a bath, but when I was trying to block out noise it always had to be the shower. The white noise of the water falling was key.
It was easier for me than trying to police a mandatory quiet time. That worked, too, at certain times, but really it was just easier for me to put myself in "time out" LOL. My girlfriend used to go for a run in her neighborhood. That gave her a needed break but also a physiological boost. I'm too lazy for all of that though; I shower!
:grouphug:
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At the beginning of each month I do a two-page spread.
The first page is the standard monthly page, with a list numbered 1st to 31st - just like the Bullet Journal website shows.
The second page is a giant "To Do At Some Point This Month" page. It's split in half widthwise. The top half is for short-term projects that are likely to get done or are time-sensitive. The bottom half is for longer-term projects or wish list "if I have time I'd like to" items.
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I lived in an area of the country where one saw dog strollers more than baby strollers and dogs really were furry children/grandchildren. There were pet chefs. Probably the refrigerated food at Costco outsold the dry stuff. It was insane.
Yes! This is exactly the same where I live :lol:
A lady a few streets over loved seeing my daughter in our Hotslings pouches. I ended up selling them to her and we'd see her 'walking' her dogs in them. I bet she wishes she had known about dog strollers LOL. We see one guy on a bike who pulls his dog and his toddler in this contraption behind him. It's like a small tent on wheels.
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I don't really know what the solution is, and, like I said, I am happy that many more people consider carefully pet ownership than it once was and I do believe a much greater percentage of pets have a wonderful life than in decades past. But I do worry sometimes that having pets, especially dogs, is becoming a status symbol. I think fewer kids from working class or lower-middle (or even just frugal middle) will even grow up with a dog or cat. I find that sad.
I think by todays standards, I would not have had pets as a child and I would not have gotten my lovely Nika.
Am I wrong? Is it good? Should pets only belong to people with ample dough to buy them and who don't bat a lash at spending $900 on a mixed-breed dog?
I see that a segment of the population has dogs that appear to be (at least in part) a status symbol, but I don't think it's full-blown mainstream yet. Admittedly I don't get out much though!
I live in an affluent town where people pay for doggy daycare while the husband works and the wife does tennis and lunch. We are a small town but we have four doggy daycares. And they are FULL. I know several couples who treat their dogs as furry children, including the doggy daycare ... so the dog won't be bored at home alone for 3-4 hours a day. This dog has all the latest, greatest toys - also high end. These dogs are sitting outside of Starbucks, and brought into the grocery store as if we're in France and dog presence is to be expected everywhere you go. Have you seen the movie "Best In Show?" These are the people who live in my town, especially the Parker Posey character. I wish I were exaggerating. They fit your description.
But go down the freeway 5-10 miles to the working class neighborhoods and you'll see just as many families with dogs. And these people love their dogs all the same, just minus the name brand collars and blingy leashes. They eat the best dry food the grocery or feed store has to offer (which is decently high quality, although maybe not fresh-refrigerated-wet or home-cooked like the dogs in my town eat). If they're worried about their dog being bored they leave a radio on or buy him a $2 pig's ear or rawhide bone. These dogs go to the park, but not many other places. They're hanging out in the back of a pick-up truck with one of the kids while the owner runs in to the grocery store for a few things.
So I've seen what you mention, but not to the exclusion of the under-classes also owning pets. I also find it sad to think kids are growing up without pets. There's something special about that experience, good or bad. Good and bad, probably. I guess what I see pretty well mirrors the same I see about kids. Some are status symbols, or are used as vehicles for status symbols. Others not so much. Obviously one stands out more in public LOL.
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DH has had it with the cat. He doesn't want him in the house anymore. He put the cat outside last night, and fed him out there this morning. Pumken stays very close to the house, mostly up on the deck, so I'm not concerned about the coyotes in the short term. But, as he gets bolder, though, he might stray farther away. And, it's way too cold in the winter for him to be out there. We don't have an outbuilding for him to stay in, and I know dh won't want him in the garage, pooping and peeing everywhere.
If you {Google/Pinterest/Instagram/Whatever} something like "feral cats" and "winter" or "housing" you'll find all sorts of ideas for inexpensive outdoor shelters.
Our feral colony is just over 20 cats. Our winters bring freezing ice and sleet (no snow) and every time I left the garage door open, the possums and other wildlife followed in behind the cats. I needed a better solution! I found a ton online. The easiest one for me was a large Styrofoam cooler that we cut an entry hole into. We packed hay/small pet bedding into trash bags and taped those to the outside of each exposed side. It was truly hideous but it worked LOL. Some people set the Styrofoam coolers into larger Rubbermaid tubs with only loose hay insulation, but with so many cats that just wasn't in my budget.
The cats still did their pee and poo around the yard, which doesn't bother me. We had some cheap towels that we replaced every 1-2 days, "cat rags" which get their own wash load and are generally our cast-offs. I continued to feed and water them outside to keep the cooler clean. I fed them up on the patio with an atrocious looking windbreak made from two drying racks and a tarp. They liked hang out there during the day.
I've found that our colony pretty well keeps to the perimeter. They definitely don't wander, but they do have a 2-3 house area that they stick to which is a 3-4 acre radius. They're always close enough that they can hear me crack open the window I feed them through!
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I inherited mine from a friend who taught preschool.
I used it for "special" books that I didn't keep stored with our regular books. Things like seasonal books - say, for Advent or holidays - where I rotated the selection of books in/out. For a time I used it for library books related to our history or science studies - so, books they wouldn't have necessarily recognized (or chosen) by sight of spine. They knew to grab a "school book" from that specific shelf.
My kids are older now so the front-facing perk is no longer necessary LOL, but we still use it to wrangle library books. It just keeps them all in one spot for us.
I always liked the idea of the rain gutter and IKEA spice rack bookshelves.
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Back in the day I called the airline directly and asked about tickets for a funeral. I don't think they do that anymore, nor do I have any idea how much of a discount it was, if any.
Idk. I'm just whining. Sorry.
It's one of those times where whining is acceptable. :grouphug: I hope you can find a way to make the trip.
Some airlines still offer a bereavement fare, but it's not much and it's fairly restrictive. Many times they require proof, which can be awkward to ask for, depending on whose funeral you're flying out for. The airline I use no longer offers these fares, because I think so many other venues for affordable last-minute fares became available.
Many of the legacy carriers are now showing profits, but they've been in bankruptcy for so long they're still a bit "hungry" - if that makes sense? A lot of the merged carriers are also now headed by "new blood" who, having seen their predecessors ousted when they couldn't turn a profit post-9/11, are focused on prioritizing profit. I mean, any corporation wants to prioritize profit LOL, but it's more important now than ever for those reporting to airline boards and shareholders. They have LOTS of ground to make up.
This may be one of those times where it's beneficial to hire a travel agent. They'll know the ins and outs of each airline, tricks to finding the cheapest fare, etc. It may cost a bit upfront, but will probably cost less than the cost of a last-minute fare. I used the one my company paid for, so it was free for me, but I think that they only earned a commission if they booked your flight. So it may not even cost anything to inquire and the travel agent would have incentive to find a fare in your acceptable range. Double-check that, though!
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Well, prices were really low in 2002 still after 9/11. People avoided airplanes. Fuel costs increased after that, and airlines have added all kinds of fees. They're still charging fuel premiums but costs have reduced, so...profit?
Airlines used to try to directly pass on any increased cost of fuel to the passengers, but these days it's more common for them to "hedge their bets" when it comes to purchasing fuel. They pretty much gamble on the price of jet fuel and crude oil, then lock in a contract at a specified price for a specified length of time.
As with any bet, sometimes you come out ahead (lock in below-market) and sometimes you end up under water (pay above-market).
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Have you considered building a cat run? That way he probably wouldn't have access to mice, but still enjoy some outdoor time. Maybe move the litter box there? Connect the run to the cat door somehow?
This may or may not be helpful, but you can look around for other videos.
This was going to be my suggestion also!
And perhaps even making it his full-time area. Build a small "hen house" or barn type or dog house thing and place it within a larger, screened in enclosure. If he misses the litter box or sprays, no big deal, and he can still hunt (albeit less successfully!) outdoor prey.
It's cheaper and easier than a lifetime of anxiety meds (for you and the cat both LOL), it lets the cat live out his natural life, and it allows you to reclaim your home and life.
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From the stories about this case, it sounds as if the girl was in the window seat and the perpetrator was in the middle seat. Does this mean there was an empty aisle seat, I wonder?
Just thinking out loud here, but it seems to me that it might be a good idea to generally seat UMs in aisle seats, so there is a better chance of being seen and observed by those around them, including flight attendants. Being hidden in a window seat with a larger adult blocking the view might not be the best place to seat them. I always advise my daughters to take aisle seats, or I personally buy them an aisle seat if they fly as UMs, but only because I'd rather have it be easier for them to get in and out of their seat to go to the restroom. This case gives me an additional reason to put them in an aisle seat, I think.
amsunshine, that's what I heard also. Here's one possibility that may have happened.
The man pre-reserved a middle seat, hoping to get an entire row to himself. Not a bad strategy. People are less likely to pick the window or aisle seats next to him because most passengers have picked a window or an aisle (leaving an empty middle and an equally desirable seat still available).
The agent asks the girl if she prefers a window or an aisle. The girl, being like most kids, prefers a window. The computer assigns the window closest to the front of the cabin; perhaps the last available window seat. (Though I doubt this because that would mean other passengers were within a few feet of her while she was being abused. Unless this guy was really discreet, ... :sad: )
OR the girl selects the window seat herself when she checks in, figuring the person who pre-selected the middle seat will move over (leaving an empty middle). It's a reasonable assumption, right?
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While I can understand there is a legal issue with not allowing men to sit by UMs, what if they ask the UM or the UM's parent whether they have a preference of whether they sit next to male or female? My kids have the option in various situations to choose all-girl or co-ed or to choose their roommate / tentmate whatever, so why not allow a preference for a UM? Then that would not be the airline discriminating against particular passengers.
The discriminating action isn't that anyone has a preference (be it the UM, the UM's family, or even a pro-active gate agent).
The discriminating action is requiring a passenger to relinquish an existing seat assignment to accommodate another passenger.
This is true even outside of UMs. I once had a guy prefer to sit next to my then-3 year old than to switch with me. My son and I both had window seats, one row behind the other. The airplane had two seats per side. But this guy's preference was for an aisle seat and by golly, he was not going to be removed from the one had planned and paid for! People are protective of their preferred seats.
We flew on a flight where the child had a nut allergy. The airline could request that the passengers in the surrounding rows not consume nut products, but they couldn't require it. Nor could they require anyone to switch seats with the jackass one row over who insisted allergies were exaggerated and he was going to eat his sandwiches if he felt like it. (Someone volunteered to switch.)
People are protective of their preferences in general, I guess LOL. Who's to say whose preference takes priority? Does the UM's because the parents paid a $150 convenience fee for the segment? Does the full fare passenger who booked his aisle seat months in advance? Hard to say unless you work in the revenue department! I'm pretty sure the side with the full-fare passenger!
A secret account? (related to the divorce question)
in The Chat Board
Posted
I think it'd have to be disclosed at the divorce, right? Or maybe that's just my state (which is community property).
My work around for this would be to funnel it through family; say, paying my sister to babysit or something when really SHE is the one holding onto the funds for me.