elizam
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Posts posted by elizam
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I would just get a psych eval done first before meds are prescribed. Like someone else said, if your son is using (which I would suspect) you can double (or triple, quadruple) what they are really using, based on what they are admitting to. Psych meds = powerful stuff. I'm just wary of meds with kids in particular, but that's just me.
My point isn't one profession is "better" than another. I'm actually thinking you want a professional team, which would include both. The psychologist will most likely have more face time with your son. That's why I would start there. No offense, just my opinion.
A good psychiatrist probably WILL prescribe meds because it is MUCh better to take prescribed meds under a pdoc's care than to self medicate with whatever (Xanax, klonipin, booze, pot which can lead to psychosis...not to mention cocaine, heroin, crack...MUCH better to take prescribed meds if that's what a good psychiatrist recommends. And I'd be wary of any pdoc or therapist who says it's "just behavioral."
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I see too many signs of mental illness (depression, bipolar, whatever) to suggest anything other than counseling.
tears of frustration
limited social interaction
negative thinking
anger
self-medicating (drinking, smoking)
fixating
lying
stealing
He needs an intervention. The sooner, the better.
Same thoughts here, because this sounds very much like my son. He was always moody and sensitive, but a "good kid" till the tpreteen yrs hit. now, some would say that htis is "normal" or "because of hormones", or even, "because of homeschool sheltering", but sometimes it's much deeper than that. mental illness is more common than many people realize. My son was initially thought to have ADHD. Then we thought it was just depression. But he eventually was dxed with bipolar disorder which make the most sense. he has gotten into alcohol and drugs (not sure which drugs besides pot andpainkillers, but we do know that many people use those to self medicate their depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc.)
Boot camps work for some kids, but not typically ones with mood disorders, etc. They tend to make them worse. I don't know for sure, of course, if he is just rebelling or if he might have some sort of chemical imbalance. But I do believe it's serious and it's NOT your fault.
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we love hip hop here---Christian hip hop at a Christian dance studio!
We are so blessed to have a unique dance opportunity for my dc. They love dance and many styles of music.
There is some fun and funky Christian music out there--Tobymac, kirk Franklin, KJ52...
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that's why I was very interested in this thread! My ds has a BP diagnosis but does not accept it or take meds. I think he has it and i worry about him a lot. it affects his overall functioning in a very severe way.
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OH YES! this happened to my 9 yr old :) for her it wasnt so much immediately but grew worse and worse over several weeks. the pschy said she was also hyper focusing.... so much so that she would erase her handwriting page till it had holes because it was not perfect! and with adderal on a normal day, she could care less what it looked like LOL!
This very same thing happened to my ds while on Vyvanse!
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Do you really want your kids playing the game though?
That is one of the reasons I'm planning on homeschooling through high school.
AMEN! I've seen the difference and I'm sticking to my guns. No PS. Too big of a risk.
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where do you get songs for them if they aren't Ipods???
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I think you have gotten some excellent advice here.
I understand and relate to soooo much of what you are saying, right down to the reading issues and sleeping teens (I have two, both of whom deal with depression)
PS made our lives worse. In fact, my 16yo needs to be pulled NOW. They don't even WANT him; they have encouraged him to DROP OUT. He has bipolar, ADHD, can't wake up, has used substances...you get the ugly picture.
My kids are good and smart overall. They do have issues. our whole family does. But PS is not the answer for us. I seriously doubt it is for many people. Some have to. But if you don't, and you aren't sure....maybe try to think outside the box for answers/solutions.
My kids often work/learn spontaneously later in the day, even late at night.
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:iagree:
We waited until age 12 and I wish we had done it earlier. Just one little dose in the morning has completely changed our homeschooling experience.
We waited even longer---14. After two disastrous years of having his self esteem hammered in PS. Dh thought it would be a good idea to put him in PS in 7th grade. He doesn't "believe in" ADHD. We didn't have a dx at the time. But I knew in my heart that something was wrong.
PS and not medicating made for an ugly situation that never got better.
Hugs to you....I think you are doing the right thing and I think you will see a positive change!
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I got this idea from ON the Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder: cut up the turnip into slices and sprinkle with salt. Eat! Yum!
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I understand. I deal with a lot of issues that feel beyound my control, including special needs in my child(ren?).
When things get too hard, I remind myself how much *more* depressed I have been having to deal with one in PS. I have regretted that move ever since we did it 4 yrs ago; issues were exacerbated.
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I just saw a post where someone made a lot quickly on Craigslist. I want to ask how do you all do it without getting stupid spam?? I have not sold more than one cheap item. I do, however, get all these spam emails from Craigslist members claiming that they, too, once desperately needed money and they can tell me how to start making it just like them...
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I'm surprised at how common blaming the parents seems to be! I guess I hit a nerve here. On the one hand, I'm glad not to be alone in having this problem, but on the other hand I sure wish I was! ;)
nope, you are not alone!
BTW, where are you in NC? I am near Charlotte!
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I can relate. The next person that tells me my teen needs to be knocked across a room for his bipolar symtoms, I swear I am going to knock THEM across a room. Everyone seems to think good old fashioned beating made for better kids with no dxes. :angry:
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:grouphug: I understand completely. I don't even speak to one of my sisters b/c she insisted that ds's behavior wasn't different than other teenagers and that the problem was that I didn't know how to parent teenagers. (This was in response to his kicking holes in doors, punching holes in walls, cutting himself, and fixating on drawing for 20+hrs w/o willing to stop to eat, sleep, etc......not to mention that I have a perfectly normal older ds and younger normal teenagers!!)
But, in all honesty, what we are enduring now is even worse. Now our ds blames us for all of his behavioral problems and refuses to accept any personal responsibility for any of his actions. Other people's opinions I really just don't care about. However, with ds now refusing to engage in any self-control, he is self-destructing. His answer to ever issue is that we "make" him behave the way he does or that his behavior doesn't matter b/c he can change it when he really wants to.......the past means nothing, only the future. (Imagine horrible behavior that lasts for hrs and then when he decides to stop, everyone else needs to simply get over it in secs b/c the behavior is in the past......the future is the only thing that matters and this pattern is continuously repeated.)
There is nothing easy about any of this. :grouphug:
He sounds very similar to my 16yods, dxed with Bipolar disorder. I get blamed, both blatantly and covertly.
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If I could give you little green rep points for this, I'd give you so many the board would explode.
me too!
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right. I just meant that prozac alone isnt given for bipolar disorder. Probably the child is self dxing.
seriously doubt the self dxing thing. Most teens do not want a psychiatric label.
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Also, bipolar people do not take prozac.
She has isues. You can lock her out and ignore her or you can choose to do the right thing.
BP should NOT take PRozac, but many drs don't get it quite right and prescribe antidepressants anyway, which can m ake the BP worse. If this is a backward, unelightened area where you live, it is likely there aren't any good Child and Adolescent psychiatrists.
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Why would you not consider going to child protective services? This is a child SCREAMING for help and all you guys can talk about is if she might make a pass at your kids????
Where is the compassion for this child? Of course she is inappropriate. She has been raised without boundaries and in an unsafe home!
I see no reason to involve CPS> Tons of kids live like this in our rural community--PS kids.
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I understand what you mean!
I have not read all of the responses yet.
My pet peeves lately involve Christians who are so wrapped up in hating Obama, Democrats, etc. and are blathering on and on about how we shouldn't help the poor, the mentally ill, the homeless, etc. because they "choose" to be poor, mentally ill, homeless, etc. and that's "proven" by the fact that many do drugs...
I just feel like so many people are over the top judgemental and ignorant about these matters. Many people who do drugs ARE mentally ill. Many people who commit crimes are mentally ill. Ditto for homeless, etc.
Jesus wants us to help them and not shun them. But so many of the conservative Christians I know don't understand, dont' want to, and most certainly aren't going to rub shoulders with "those kind."
I meant to add that those same Christians are very gung ho about going to Christian events, church, etc. and/or keeping their dc involved in intellectual activities and prestigious religious camps, etc. where they can be steeped in conservative debate, etc.....and avoiding the rest of the unsaved or nonconservative world...
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I understand what you mean!
I have not read all of the responses yet.
My pet peeves lately involve Christians who are so wrapped up in hating Obama, Democrats, etc. and are blathering on and on about how we shouldn't help the poor, the mentally ill, the homeless, etc. because they "choose" to be poor, mentally ill, homeless, etc. and that's "proven" by the fact that many do drugs...
I just feel like so many people are over the top judgemental and ignorant about these matters. Many people who do drugs ARE mentally ill. Many people who commit crimes are mentally ill. Ditto for homeless, etc.
Jesus wants us to help them and not shun them. But so many of the conservative Christians I know don't understand, dont' want to, and most certainly aren't going to rub shoulders with "those kind."
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My ds used to be very interested, but dh wasn't so he never got to try it.
Now he is 16 and has had 4 yrs of PS h*ll. He has been dxed with ADHD and bipolar. He has a very poor attention span and mood swings.
It breaks my heart that he does not think he can do anything and can't think of anything he wants to do.
I am tempted to see if he can try CAP, but I don't see how he could succeed.
Any thoughts?
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There aren't any proven natural remedies for attentional problems.
That said, a few things *might* help, or might not, depending.
Chewing gum
music
more physical activity before difficult subjects, or during breaks, or after school time
different curriculum
If nothing else works, I would highly recommend consulting a professional who also is sensitive to your hesitancy to medicate.
Medication is not necessarily bad for all kids. FOr some reason, most homeschoolers balk at this concept. I know; I was once one of those homeschool moms. I did my son a great disservice.
15 yo son wants to be a rockstar and do drugs....
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I have been on this journey and I have about lost hope for my son, who is now 17 and sayed behind with my abusive dh when I left him. I don't even know why he chose to, as he and his dad never got along and he was even abused by my dh. :(
I regret taht my son stopped his music lessons. Piano was his major outlet. he had a wonderful teacher who was like a therapist for him. He'd actually open up to her. Consequences like taking away his music lessons only made him harder of heart and with a lot more time on his hands to get into trouble. It was my dh's idea--take away even the good things to make him "wake up." It all backfired.
you can't change someone with "behavioral" consequences or talks about sin and rebellion if they have an underlying mood disorder. my ds grew up in church and used to love it, wanted to be there for everything they offered. Dh wanted to take away kids' ministry, etc. as punishment for various offenses. Backfired in a big way! Ds eventually gave up on church and church friends. But then, for periods of time, he'd reminisce and want to go back, be friends with the "good kids" etc. Sometimes he will hate and denounce God and other times he is all into being a Christian again. Anotehr symptom of underlying mental illness.
peope have suggested that my son's issues came from doing drugs, even just smoling pot. But I know the truth--his issues came first, then the weed. he told me himself that he was miserable and knew there was "something wrong" with him, but taht he didn't know what and he didn't want counseling, ADHD meds, or anything else. he did better on mood stabilizers, but no longer takes them. We see the mood swings even more sharply now when we do see him. I feel I have lost my son. Please get help for yours before it's too late.