[Can we list our blogs?]

...The Crib Chick, is always in my signature, but I'm trying to start posting again, regularly (summer was crazy, lol).

[Face Book, Can someone explain?]

It seems to me to be more set up as a way to keep in touch with people who are all spread out and to just "keep tabs". I don't see it as a replacement for a telephone or an email for meaningful conversation, but rather as a way to keep track of people so they don't go off of your radar. Then you can use their inbox to drop them a line to exchange phone numbers and call them to have a meaningful conversation.

 

I don't understand how it's "...just one more place where people spend time putting on this false face and never really being real".

 

I mean, if the folks you "friend" are that way to begin with, then, yeah...they're not going to be any different on Facebook than they are anywhere else, KWIM?

 

It's a network. That's all. And as someone else said, it's not for everyone, just like message boards aren't for everyone, ladies' group meetings aren't for everyone...

 

If it's a frustration, then don't do it! Although I do get the getting hornswaggled into it by a child. :tongue_smilie: It is advisable, imo, to "friend" your children, and see what's going on in their (cyber) world, if you allow them to take part in FB, etc.

 

I'm sorry you're not having fun, though. :-( Maybe lowering your expectations for what it should be like would help?

[I admit it...I am a CONTROL FREAK]

...that I think if it benefits your son, you should do it.

 

You've voiced that you're dissatisfied with the curricula/mode of operation and there are plans in the works to change that. Just because no one else chooses to take their kids out and homeschool part time doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to, right?

 

I mean...you've signed up for a job, and if there's open discussion about things you don't agree with, and want to change, I don't see why your son should not reap the benefits of having some of his education tailored to his needs just because he's not attending that school a few years in the future, KWIM?

 

Maybe I'm off somehow...but I wouldn't think twice about homeschooling my kids full or part time if I were a principal at a school where I felt the methodology needed changing. (I'd work hard to make those changes, and support any parents who decided to homeschool part or full time in the interim, also).

 

I also don't see how it's sending a bad message...if you were stating that you believed this school represented the best possible education for any child, and then didn't send your children there, then, yes, I'd say it was questionable. But you're not saying that. You're being realistic, and saying that there are difficulties for particular students, and so I don't see how accomodating a child's needs sends any message other than a realistic one.

 

(If I were the parent of a child attending your school, I wouldn't think twice about the principal homeschooling full or part time, either. It's a choice, and as I said, no one's saying that it's the perfect one for every child, all the time.)

 

ETA: I wanted to add that I think the part-time option is a good one because it sounds like you're sticking with the school, in the areas that represent a good fit, and opting out of the things that you feel would be better served by other choices. In my opinion, that's a reasonable show of faith in the school. My only question would be...are other students going to have that option, if parents want to homeschool part time?

[X-post: S.E. Hinton's That Was Then, This Is Now. Thoughts?]

Educational value? eh, they are meant to serve as a real-life warning: don't join a gang, kids, or you'll be knifed in a fight! and go to your death with a horrible nickname!

 

LOL...she really can think up the names, can't she? :001_smile:

 

If the teacher has a reading list for the year, I'd check it out now, and perhaps ask for substitutes for the worst ones if it really bothers you.

 

Yeeaah...I hate to say it, but S. E. Hinton books are pretty tame, compared to some of the things I've heard of being assigned to middle schoolers. :-o

 

If I had a child in public school, I might want to see what's coming up, and reserve my "Uh Uh" for the worst of the worst. (That isn't to say that you shouldn't voice your concern about this book, just that you might want to see if there are other choices you'd object to, more, that are coming up.)

[How many hours per day for college-bound high schoolers?]

I was answering "five to six hours" for academics, not music, gymnastics, volleyball, and stuff like that.

 

That's not really considered "school" in their eyes, lol, even though I count them as extracurriculars. (Actually, for Littles I consider Piano an academic staple, and we do that during "school time", but once they're older and choose to pursue a different instrument on their own, lessons and practice are accomplished on their own, too.)

[How many hours per day for college-bound high schoolers?]

I know that homeschooling allows for more rigor and a better education, but do kids really have to spend their entire day studying?

 

Tara

 

One of our main reasons for homeschooling is to allow for a "non-schoolish" experience, to a certain degree.

 

High school for us has so far meant a stepping up of academics (I'm quite relaxed in early years), and a time of implementing outside influences, as well (co-op classes for math and science, and an online university course for Spanish this year, with community college classes folded in next year, Lord willin' the crick don't rise :001_smile:).

 

But we still purposefully keep it under a certain time frame.

 

Five or six hours a day for high schoolers, here. We allow about an hour for each subject, streamline and combine several, and don't do every subject every day. (We also only do hot and heavy school four days a week, only catching up on discussions and scheduling for the next week on Friday, if possible.)

 

This is our second year of high school, and it's worked thus far.

 

When my kids go to college, they likely won't be taking a full course load right off the bat. Unless they win some heavy-duty scholarships, they'll be working, as well as attending school. One of the reasons we keep this pace is because they've got a long road ahead (paying for it all yourself or with minimal help from parents can mean five years, instead of four), and this is a marathon. So while one of my reasons for doing it this way is philosophical...one is also practical; they're going to have to have a day divided between academics and "real life" (working, etc.) when they reach college, so why not have them get used to that, now?

 

Even more than that...I want learning to be a lifestyle, really. Not every child is going to get burnt out by a heavy course load for the entirety of their academic career, but I don't want to take the chance that mine will. We move at a slower pace than many here, from the very beginning, but it's also a very steady pace. (We also school year 'round).

 

Many of their individual pursuits are pretty impressive...but I don't know how inclined my particular children would be to dabble in intellectually demanding things if they weren't allowed time to just *be* and recuperate from the intellectually demanding things that I'm *requiring* of them. (Note that I'm saying my children; this is not a commentary on children in general and isn’t meant to argue against the experience of others here, should it differ from mine).

 

So...that's a priority for us. Because I like for them to take the initiative and pursue things on their own, and this is working to that end, so far.

 

Also, "College Prep" for our house probably looks different from what many mean when they say that. I'm preparing my kids to attend college...but I'm not attempting to get high achievement out of them in every area. They test well, they have a good academic work ethic, and I'm happy with what we're accomplishing, but I'm also not focused on high achievement in every subject. Each of my students has strengths, and we're focusing on stacking the achievement in those areas, while shoring up weaknesses. That helps keep the workload lighter.

["The Time Traveler's Wife"]

Life as a military spouse is not unlike Claire's life.

We're always waiting.

 

We learn to live while "waiting." I think that's what Claire learned to do.

 

...and I think this is *exactly* why it hit me so hard.

 

I loved the movie--evidently, some of the stuff they left out was okay with me, lol--but it was hard to watch, in places, for this reason.

 

But good.

[Teen Boys - motivation, organization, accountability]

...my oldest boy is 14, and he's not really a grumbler, back-talker, etc...but he does tend to tiptoe that way more than my 15yo (girl) does. :D

 

Our best weapon here is humor. Instead of grumbling for "real", we've sort of gotten in this mode of doing a Napoleon Dynamite-esque sigh when any of us are faced with a task that's less than pleasant. (And if one older child suspects he/she is getting a heavier load than the other sibling, they can always add, "Kip hasn't done flipping anything today!")

 

Some good-natured "pretend" grumbling seems to allow for a little venting of true feelings, and then once everyone's done chuckling...we know it's time to get busy.

 

I know it sounds crazy, lol...but it seems to work.

[Do you ever get unexpectedly ID'd as a homeschooler?]

...someone blinking in shock, and saying, "You homeschool?!" in an incredulous voice, when they found out I did.

 

I never asked her to clarify, lol, because I'm not sure I would want to know why it's so surprising. :001_smile:

[How have your homeschooling materials and approach changed since your first year?]

Would you share how long you've been homeschooling?

 

Eleven years.

 

What did you use that first year?

 

I taught dd to read using Reading Reflex, and used Saxon 1 for math.

 

What was your approach the first year?

 

Just basics. I think I'd already toyed with the idea of teaching history chronologically, and I found WTM during her 1st grade year, so we read living books and did a notebook. (Didn't use the "spines" recommended, and I still really don't for those ages. I bought the SOTW series, and used them with the older kids when they got older, and I still prefer to use them with an older set than what's recommended. I'll probably wait and use them with this group of kids in middle school, as they do in Sonlight 6/7, along with Genevieve Foster books.

 

What are you using this year?

 

Well, I have another Kindergartener this year...my last one. ::Sniff, Sniff:: As well as a 7yo and 9yo.

 

I'm still using good ol' Reading Reflex, lol (I also own Phonics Pathways, Bob books, and Nora Gaydos readers, and I switch among them until a child 'gets' reading; I also like to use PP as an early speller). I got rid of Saxon pretty early on, and I'm using CLE math, for my Littles, now (K'er is using book 1, and the counting book, although I don't get really worked up about math before third grade or so. They do it--most of them want to do what everyone else is doing, lol--, but if it seems they're not ready for something, I don't mind waiting).

 

I teach him handwriting just by showing him proper letter formation, and the little girls (2nd and 3rd grade) use copywork for handwriting practice (that's something I didn't do, very early on; my older kids used handwriting books.)

 

Has your approach changed?

 

Not really. I had a "bare bones" mentality pretty much from the get-go. I adopted CM-style habits early on, and read TWTM fairly early, too, and while I've read a number of things since then that have had a positive impact, I've mostly found things that resonated with what makes sense to me, already, and folded those into what we do.

 

What stands out as helping you find your groove?

 

Hmm. I don't know that anything I've read or seen has done that...I think the best teacher is experience. You can do what you think is best without a program or person detailing it for you, although I think winnowing out what you think is best in the first place is easier if you spend time thinking it out and researching a little.

 

All in all, not a lot is different, approach-wise, and some of the materials are the same, although I'm open to changing resources if I think it's worthwhile. (We used Rod and Staff math for many years, and still use their grammar, starting at around 3rd grade, but CLE incorporates so much that was getting left out, here--extra drill, etc.--that it made sense to streamline by changing).

[Is etiquette obsolete?]

So do you think it's too obsolete to be of use to our children? (i.e. Scoop the soup away from you instead towards)

 

I think there are levels of etiquette.

 

Scoop the soup away from you falls in the categories of Almost No One Does It, Anymore, and It Won't Cripple My Children Socially If They Don't Know It.

 

Other bits of etiquette, to me, belong in another category; Ways to Show Consideration of Others. Those, I feel are very important.

 

And some of the things I consider important (I'll call back to mind the Hats On/Hats Off Inside thread of WTM Past, lol) aren't important to others. I might not think much if other kids don't follow them, because I know it's not common, anymore...but I would like to see them continue on, somewhat, so I teach them to my kids. (I'd also not press my version of manners over another person's comfort, if it's a trivial issue. For example, if I teach my children to call adults "Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So", or say "Yes, Ma'am", but it bothers you, or if you bristle at a boy opening a door for you...then I'll tell them to address/treat you in the way you prefer. Manners, to me, are primarily about respecting others.)

[Can a person be a Christian if they don't believe the Bible?]

I understand what you mean, but I've met many Christians that couldn't tell what being the Christ meant. They had no historical knowledge of Christianity at all.

 

I have no doubt that there are folks who don't have much historical context for Christianity (I think a good percentage probably lack at least something in this area, including me)...but I guess I don't count understanding what "Christ" means as historical knowledge, if you use "Christian" to describe yourself.

 

I mean...I would assume that someone using a label would have at least a rudimentary understanding of what it was, or they wouldn't be using it, you know? (I would consider this the bare bones of Christianity; Jesus, as the Christ.)

 

But that's one person's opinion. ;)

[Can a person be a Christian if they don't believe the Bible?]

IMO, the central theme to being a Christian is a belief in Jesus Christ.

 

...a belief in Jesus as the Christ.

 

I would assume that someone using the label of Christ-ian would at the very least believe in the Biblical assertions about the Christ, and that they've been fulfilled by (the historical) Jesus.

 

But I don't know that I'd assume much, beyond that.

[Have you ever cried when hearing of the death of a celebrity?]

I was really shaken.

 

I think it was who he was...but also probably the circumstances.

[My dad took down the family photos. (Not that it affects anything for anyone.)]

It upsets me.

 

I know.

 

Honestly...I do.

 

Now, my stepmom is the one who was left, when my Dad died, but she's my children's grandmother. She's been there all these years, since the beginning of their lives, kept them, been a positive force in their lives, and assured me that none of that would change.

 

And...while her feelings haven't...her situation has. Her new husband (understandably) isn't used to five kids spending the night. So they don't. Isn't used to going places/doing things with five kids. So...they don't. (Yes, they could trade times, but she has virtually one day a month or so that she can do this, and it would be MONTHS before some of the kids saw her. Not to mention, she wants to see them all at once, because she hasn't seen them for a month! He needs her. (Recently began having heart trouble). He's not my dad, not related to me, at all.

 

She and I both have cried over this, and she's admitted to me that she had no idea that it would be like this. It never occurred to her.

 

She loves him. She's happy with him. And I want her to be happy.

 

I'm grateful for her, and for the time we do get to spend with her...but it's so, so hard, on top of not having my dad, to not be comfortable in what was his home, and to feel that I've lost a level of relationship with her, too.

 

I don't pretend to know what's necessary for someone to do to "move on", after a loss like this, and I don't believe it's wrong for someone to make changes to their surroundings to do that, if they need to.

 

But your feelings are absolutely valid, and it's probably hard for him to understand--not to mention, hard for you to express--that you're having your loss compounded, seemingly, by further eradication of your mom's memory.

 

And yes, your kids have lost something, but I believe he may come around in that area, if you give him time. Or...maybe not.

 

Either way...I'm so, so sorry. :(

 

While I know it's a painful subject...can you gently ask him why he's taken down *family* photos? I don't know, maybe it's not a good idea...but I'd bet that it's possible he simply hasn't thought about it being a potentially hurtful thing.

 

But..that's me. I tend towards the "Let's Hug It Out", lol.

 

(Although I'm frequently sorry that I tried. :tongue_smilie:)

[Ques for those who have implemented a 4 day school week....]

...and at three weeks in, I'm loving it.

 

Now, essentially, "our" school is three days a week, because my kids are at co-op the first day, but they're taking two core subjects there (Biology and Geometry), and doing their music lessons on that day, too, so I count it as school.

 

We've always schooled year 'round, and when I sat down to figure out our schedule, and counted up days...we'll still be able to take reasonable breaks, doing it this way. (A week or so, here and there, and a more substantial break in the summer.)

 

I need that extra day (Friday) to catch up on housework (that's not happened so far, though, lol), and while we don't have a sit-down school work time, my older kids (high schoolers) and I can have a chance to really discuss some of their work from the week, in more depth, and we can make a plan for the next week. (Monday, co-op day, is also music lesson and gymnastics day, so it's crrrrraaazzzy, and not the best time to give out assignments, etc.)

 

It's been positive so far.

[Do you demand "instant obedience" from your jr. high/high school kids?]

...the simple phrase, "Can I ask a question?"

 

If the mood is right, then the answer can be "Yes", lol, and a good, stimulating conversation can ensue. If Mom (Or Aunt) is not in the mood, however, or if Dad's on the way home, and dinner needs to get started, and she just needs everyone to pitch in and get going, then the answer might be, "No, not this time", or "Maybe later...right now I need you to do this."

 

Our kids are thoughtful, they don't mindlessly follow questionable authority (I'm talking about the ones that are teens now)...and yet we've insisted on respect from them, as their parents, and we prefer that they show respect to authority figures unless there's a mitigating circumstance. By obeying us, fairly quickly. (From the time they're little, they're taught that they can politely ask, "May I tell you something?" or "May I ask a question?" if they take issue with it, for whatever reason.)

 

It doesn't have to be an either/or question.

 

Now, when we're talking about other adults, it could be considered rude to question them/their rules. Sure, the issue seemed small enough...but was he being considerate of his hosts?

 

I absolutely want my kids to balk at doing something someone--even an adult--tells them to do that is morally wrong, doesn't "feel" right, or is dangerous. But I also want them to be respectful of others' decisions, even if they're illogical (to us). Unless they're engaging in a mutually agreed upon dialogue. That's just me.

[FYI: WA State Breastfeeding Law]

I don't see how squirting someone with anything is "disgusting", rude maybe, but not disgusting. The ol' woman throws a drink in a mans face because she caught him doing something or being a jerk scene - disgusting?

 

...is that breast milk is bodily fluid.

 

As in...can transmit disease. (A better comparison, instead of throwing a drink in a man's face, would be spitting on him. Although...saliva doesn't even carry some of the diseases that breast milk does.)

 

I think that's some of the rationale behind trying to limit it at swimming pools. (Which I think is ridiculous...no one wants to know how many other bodily fluids are already in a public pool, lol.)

 

And, hey...I'm just pointing this out in a friendly way. I'm rabidly pro-breastfeeding, and extended breastfeeding...just think that some concerns merit listening to, even if they turn out to be unwarranted, the majority of the time.

 

(I've never been asked to stop breastfeeding, or cover up. The only remark I've ever gotten, that I can think of, offhand, was my surprised sister-in-law who exclaimed, "But...he can TALK!" when I nursed my toddler in front of her. :lol:)

[Okay, moms what do you think about this situation?]

I still find his response, the public, across the board punishment to be a great concern and would not trust him with my children.

 

I can't say I'd *never* trust the guy again...but issuing blanket consequences to all the kids (actually, issuing any punishment, at all--save it for the parents) would give me great pause about sending kids off with him anytime soon.

 

Sure, I'm called to forgiveness, as a Christian. I'm also repsonible for my kids' well being. I can forgive him without trusting him, lol.

 

If I had an older teen who had gotten over this, and assured me that they'd be okay on another trip, I'd think about it.

[Would you remarry your husband now?]

I can't honestly give that hearty affirmative answer.

 

That doesn't mean I regret our marriage. He probably understands me the most of anyone on Earth, and that's comforting, sometimes (sometimes it's depressing), but that isn't the same as loving someone madly, or even just with a steady, comfortable affection.

 

I know I've changed/adapted somewhat, over the course of our 16 years together, but I feel that my husband has changed quite a bit. So much that many of the things that attracted me to him seem to have faded, or disappeared. His attitude towards me has changed, his manner, his appearance (not that appearance is so important...but it was a factor in our initial attraction)...lots of things.

 

We wanted a lot of the same things when we first met. Now we seem to still at least be on the same page, but sometimes just barely.

 

He's done things that I could never have pictured him doing. He's hurt me more than I would have ever dreamed possible.

 

Now...I hope that doesn't paint too dreary of a picture, lol. We have five great kids, and our faith in common. Things could be worse, and are, for many people.

 

But I did want to put out there, just in case someone is reading this who can't give a resounding "Yes!!", that just because you don't really know if you'd marry him again doesn't mean that life can't be good. I think some folks have to accept a different marriage reality than others, but life isn't perfect. We are where we are, and living in the here and now is best for me, for a number of reasons.

[do I want to make homemade tortillas?]

I buy the raw tortillas at Walmart and cook them myself. The kids love to cook them for me.

 

This is what I was going to suggest, too.

 

La Abuela tortilla dough, already rolled, with no preservatives, dough conditioners, etc. (Wal mart carries them. If you have a Mexican market nearby, you could look there, too.)

 

A good reason to use pre-rolled dough is the lack of the preservatives, etc....but another is that the taste of a fresh cooked tortilla is light years beyond that of the pre-cooked stuff.

 

There...just aren't words. :D

[RANT RANT RANT RANT- I'm already mad!]

The small private school my kids attended in the UK had the whole school doing maths and english at the same time so any child who needed to could move up or down for that class. It specialised in dyslexia so a lot moved down for english and up for maths.

 

I was grade advanced, and while I don't think one or two levels is a big deal, for an overall skip...my mom declined more than that, and I wouldn't consider it for the kids of mine who are advanced.

 

It's so rarely across the board, you know? A child doing algebra might not be reading Dickens.

 

Leaving them in their social age group, and shifting them for areas of higher ability addresses their needs and leaves wiggle room for asynchronous development, too.

[Time Traveler's Wife - The Movie]

I loved the idea of this book -the love story and the way he traveled through time but I hated some of the situations the author put in...

 

I read some of the book (there's a limited amount of it online) last night, and...blech. I got to at least one situation that I think you're talking about, lol.

 

The movie, however, had nothing in it I wouldn't mind my teen daugther seeing. (She wanted to see it, and I told her I had to see it, first).

 

Very PG-13. Personally, I'm glad they modified the story to make it that way. From the sound of it, it could have been very different. (And I'm not a total prude about gritty/graphic situations...just don't care for shock for the sake of shock, and feel that many times, it affects the artistic merit--for me--of the story.)

[Time Traveler's Wife - The Movie]

The ability to see and interact with yourself, in a different time, when something is happening, was almost like a sort of therapy.

 

He--and his daughter--were able to process the traumatic loss of a parent because the older selves helped. Remembering it as an older person was modified, by having had that older self help the younger self at the time.

 

I can't explain it very well, but it makes sense in my head. ;)

 

Great, GREAT story idea. I'm still thinking about it, a day later.

[Time Traveler's Wife - The Movie]

I won't see it because Eric Bana is *such* a hottie, that I don't think I will be able to keep my mind pure.:blush:

 

I told the friend I saw it with, on the ride there, that she had to give me the "Eric Bana" talk, LOL!

 

"Think about how your husband was talking to (one of my daughters) at her birthday party....Eric Bana probably isn't HALF the man he is...He looks like Harry Dean Stanton in this scene..."

 

:001_smile:

 

She's a good friend, lol. (I share your struggle with keeping my thoughts pure when watching E. B. And, hey, a bit of friendly advice...don't watch "Lucky You".)