planner
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Posts posted by planner
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No, it's an uneducated thing.
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Her wrath? For telling her you don't want to hear gossip?
Umm.
And this is a perfectly lovely person you have no problem keeping your children around?
These statements seem rather incongruent.
Wrath is too strong of a word. She would be hurt, she would let me know. She wouldn't scream at me or anything like that. She just wouldn't understand why I had a problem. That would make me the problem in her eyes.
My mom's getting older. I'm not sure she's 100% competent these days. I think she's slowly losing reality.
My mom has really never done anything in front of my children or behind closed doors that I would limit contact over. Her biggest flaw is that she's judgmental and can't perceive others points of view.
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Okay, lemme think. Surprisingly, there aren't as many books set in NYC as you might imagine, and a lot of the ones that spring to mind are either historical fiction or dated. Like Remember Me to Herald Square, I have so many fond memories of that book, but it doesn't reflect today's NYC at all!
What sort of books do your kids like to read? If All-of-a-Kind Family isn't doing it for them, and it's not pure stubbornness, is there another genre that they prefer? The Inquisitor's Apprentice is set in the same time period and place, but in an AU where magic is real. (Regardless, it's bounded in actual history and worth a read.) City of Orphans is a straight historical fiction, but being written more recently it does avoid the super-sweet outward appearance of All-of-a-Kind and also that one super cringy scene in the first book where they visit their father at work and all his work buddies are sitting around talking in stereotypical accents and omg. (I had completely forgotten that scene was in there when I read it to the girls and was soooo embarrassed to read it aloud on the train!)
All of A Kind Family resistance is stubbornness. I'm looking for historical fiction. City of Orphans is in the library book basket right now. I'm hoping someone will choose to pick it up.
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Which reminds me, I keep meaning to make a trip to the Tenement Museum.
OP, how old are your kids?
My kids are 10 and 13. I really want to take them to the Tenement Museum but I want them to have a good background before they go.
My daughter keeps refusing to read All of A Kind Family. It's frustrating to me. I know she'd love it. I just checked it out from the library and I'm going to continually renew it until she gives in! :laugh:
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I'm trying to figure out something... is she already friends with them? If not, she is relying on public posts? Maybe your friends need to change their settings to "friends only."
She is only friends with her children and grandchildren. She refuses to be friends with anyone else. She is relying on public posts. Everyone is free to choose for themselves their privacy settings. I'm certainly not going to tells someone what their settings should be. That's a personal decision.
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I'm sorry she seems you're so evil. How do you make your friends list private?
You just go into the settings and there are different options to choose.
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Did you actually tell her that you don't want to hear about them when you talk on the phone? Because I'm thinking that is lost on her and she is going to continue to do that.
No, I haven't told her. I know that would upset her so I just haven't gone there. She is going to continue and I'll just have to deal with the gossip or her wrath. I'm choosing gossip.
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Its okay, I've been told I'm a petty a$$hole for not allowing my kids around my family for more time than it takes to make our exit from the premises.
Mom has a hard time accepting that I choose not to associate with my kinsman any more than absolutely neccessary. During the summer and holiday months it becomes a big problem for my relatives.
Its like they really just can't understand why I refuse to let my sons be around the same folks who turned me into an addict during adolescence.
("Okay, so you drank and used when you were a young--you didn't have a problem with it then and you went to college anyway so its not like it ruined your life!" Yes, someone actually said that too me.)
Yeah sure, WTF ever. Don't know if your situation is as extreme as mine, but if so heed the PSA
Sorry for your situation. My parents are fine to be around. I would have no problem letting my kids hang out with anyone in my extended family and they have many different lifestyles and belief systems. Typing that out made me rethink my alcoholic cousin but I would let them be with him as long as I was there too.I just don't like the unending gossip so I did my part to hamper it but for my mom to make that an evil action is what blows my mind.
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I'm sorry. It's hard when you have a narcissistic parent.
Hmmm. I've never thought about that before and I'm not sure I fully understand narcissism. What makes you think she's narcissistic?
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LOL! If you're interested in the subject, you can also get the book Kid Blink Beats the World!, which is a bit more historically accurate.
Thanks for the recommendation. I'm trying to expose my kids to media about life in New York City as I want to take them there in a year or so and I want them to have some context to the city. If anyone else has recommendations, I'd love to hear them.
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We watched Newsies Friday night. Now they're organizing a strike because the don't want to clean up their fort. Showing them Newsies was really shortsighted of me. :laugh:
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My mom told me so. My crime: I changed my facebook settings and made my friend list private.
My mom told me she didn't quite know how to broach the subject with me but she just doesn't understand how she has a daughter who would buy shoes for a homeless man and then turn around and change her facebook settings. Yes, she seriously brought up one of the nicest things I've done lately and then acted like changing my settings was the opposite evil of that good.
I told her I wanted more privacy.
Truth is, I'm just really tired of hearing her talk about what she read on facebook about my friends. I don't call her to have a playback of my faceback feed. I told her she didn't need me, that she could type a name in the search bar if she wanted to find out about a person. Besides, she still has access to my sibling's friend lists, many of which are my friends as well.
Don't quote because I will delete in a few days just in case my mom gets some crazy awesome google skills.
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Rachel is persistent. I'd be pretty bummed if she started calling me again but it takes her a very long time to get a hint and stop calling. So annoying.
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Wow. That is just awful. :(
I don't know who was worse in that situation -- the girl who was visiting your house or the other girl's mom who actually thought it was perfectly fine to drive to your house so she and her dd could invite the other girl to leave your dd to go to the movies with them.
What kind of horrible person does something like that??? :angry:
Sounds like they all deserved each other and your dd ended up better off knowing what weasels they were. But her feelings must have been so hurt at the time. :crying:
I'd say it is definitely the adult who displayed the worst behavior. I could excuse a child but an adult really ought to know better.
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We haven't written a letter. However, we have had good success in buying houses by getting a tour of the home from the homeowner. Both times we did this the homeowners were the original owners who had raised their families in the house. They were both sentimental about the home and we're glad to sell the house to a young family. With one of the houses, we weren't the highest offer but the owner came back to us and asked for us to match the higher offer. I think it helped that we listened to their sentimental ramblings and shared our own with the seller.
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I would just like to clarify that my kids are not bothered. The bother belongs to me alone. My kids haven't complained. I don't think my son has even noticed he didn't get a present. I'm certainly not going to mention it to him. Disney friend had $300 to spend. He spent every last cent. I didn't stop him. I just made him wait until the end of day.
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From a manners perspective, what's bothering you is that the guests seem ungrateful for what you have provided on the outing, and are far more concerned with stuffing down sweets and grabbing all the toys their credit cards can manage than in seeing themselves as polite, invited guests who are there to help the birthday child have a pleasant time under parental supervision. Polite children graciously take what they are served, try to be mindful as to the culture of the family and the tone of the events, etc., but they do have to be raised to act that way.
You are so right. This is really what is bothering me.
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We spent five days at WDW and only let the kids spend about $20 the whole time. I figured the pictures and memories were the "souvenir." But that may be coloring how I view this. That's part of why I think it *would* be awkward at the American Girl store. I know it's an "experience" store, but it's basically still just a store. There's nothing to do but shop and that's inevitably going to make everyone uncomfortable. There's a million things other than carting around souvenirs to do at Disney.
Another way to avoid it is do an experience where there's nearly no shopping. My kids took a friend to a climbing adventure park for a birthday once. I paid, of course. But there was nothing to do but climb then eat.
Farrar, I like they way you think. I also feel the experience is the souvenir.
There is more to do at American Girl than shop. They have a restaurant and I paid for the experience of eating with your doll. We also did more on this trip than the American Girl store. We went to Santa Monica Pier, Hollywood, and a few other places. I think we were in LA for three days.
These kids live in a upper middle class area. The friends we invited on trips are all of similar economic status or even less than us. These aren't once in a lifetime experiences for them. I don't begrudge them spending money. I just think two dolls a girl and an excessive amount of spending money is crazy. I would have been totally fine with one doll and $50 a day.
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First world problems of my own making, I know.
I allow my children to take a weekend trip with a friend in lieu of a birthday party. My daughter has chosen to go to LA to the American Girl store twice and my son just chose to go to Disneyland.
The first time we went to American Girl, we brought a good friend and her mom. I paid for all food, hotel, activities, and transportation just like I agreed to do with the mom before the trip. I bought both girls a doll, the friend upgraded her doll to a starter collection (which I also bought for my daughter) and paid the difference, and everything was fine.
The second time we went to American Girl, we brought a friend, her sister, and their mom. We are friends with all of them. I paid for hotel, activities, transportation, and each family paid for their own food. This time, I did not plan on buying all the girls a doll. The mom of the other girls knew this. I bought DD's doll before the trip because I knew our friends were having financial issues and I didn't want them to feel pressure to buy a doll. I told dd I would buy doll outfits for all the girls. I was surprised when the mom bought each daughter two dolls and two outfits a piece. It made me feel bad for my daughter since it was her birthday and she wasn't getting a doll at the store so I made an arrangement with her to use some of her own money and earn some more money and we bought a doll that day as well. I ended up feeling pressured into it.
When my son went to Disneyland with a friend and my daughter, I paid for hotel, park tickets, transportation, and planned on buying food as well. I told my kids that weren't getting souvenirs as we had been there four months before and their grandpa had given them a large souvenir budget. They had to spend their own money if they wanted anything. When the friend's mom said that she was sending spending money, I told her that my kids were not getting spending money and that anything they bought would be with their own money. The friend came with an excessively large amount of money and spent the day at Disneyland begging to spend his money to which I kept advising him that he would not want to carry around items all day. He bought any and all concessions he desired. My kids knew I wouldn't do that and didn't even ask. I still felt bad for them though because they had to watch this kid buy whatever he wanted while they did without. Don't get me wrong, I did buy food at the park. They each had two snacks and lunch plus snacks from my purse. Friend probably had eight snacks and refused lunch when I offered to buy him some.
My kids really enjoy these trips. I enjoy them. However, I can't help but feel really awkward when friends spend large amounts of money in front of us that we can't spend because we are paying for the basics of the trip. I want to avoid this in the future. The first trip did not bother me because the girls got equal gifts and our friends were overly generous with a birthday gift for my daughter which showed me they appreciated the time and expense of the trip. The second and third trips bothered me because it was my child's birthday trip and my child received less than the other child. Sadly, my son didn't even receive a birthday present from his friend. I know that's not the point but it does make me feel sad that it was clearly stated it was a birthday trip and they spent a lot of money on their child, but none on mine.
If I do this again, and I'm sure I will, how do I make sure that spending money is somewhat even or do I just have to let others do what they wish and let my kids learn valuable life lessons?
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Diflucan cleared it up for me.
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The topic isn't about discussing the actual freedoms themselves as much as people's experiences moving to TX from those who did it to acquire more freedoms in different areas. If you don't know what I'm talking about then don't worry about it. I'm not trying to be rude but it can be so frustrating to post on something specific to see if there is anyone knowledgeable on a topic to respond and others jump in to criticize or question things I said I don't want to discuss.
Wait just a minute. You didn't really post on something specific. You posted about moving to a specific state for the very vague idea of increased freedom. When asked to clarify, you refused.
I do know a family who moved to Texas decades ago because of homeschooling. I don't think they would move to Texas for that reason today because laws in our state have relaxed in regards to homeschooling over time.
My guess as to the increased freedom: exotic animals. From what I understand, Texas allows many animals other states prohibit. Maybe the OP wants to own a zoo.
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Well... If I'm understanding the sequence of events correctly, you agreed to a meeting when it was your DD who was crying thus it seems a little unjust to me that you wouldn't agree to a meeting when you suspect your DD is the one causing the crying.
Because of the e-mail incident you described, I would start wondering if my dd was playing me- bringing up offenses against her but not relating her own role accurately. :(
Regardless, she's young and she is picking up social techniques from those around her. At this point it might be better to have concernced moms at least witness them working it out so it doesn't turn into something worse.
I actually refused the meeting when it was my dd who was crying and have agreed to get together with this current situation.
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Definitely the toilet brush in the sink. Ewww! I would discuss wastefulness with the gloves. I assume the toilet paper was an oversight.
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My 10 year old daughter has a friend who has done a few questionable things. For example, friend sent dd what appeared to be a group email which read, "Are any of you guys available today? Besides dd." Friend did know that dd could not get together that day and it really hurt dd's feelings that she would send her this email. It turns out it was not a group email but was only sent to dd.
Dd called friend about it and asked her why she would send that email, that it was rude, and hurt her feelings. Friend told dd she did it to get even with dd because dd told friend that she was bossy and didn't apologize for saying that. This is the type of behavior going on.
Friend's mom called me today to tell me that her daughter had called from school asking to be picked up because she couldn't stand being at school and never wanted to hang out with people from school ever again. Turns out my dd is at least part of the reason why. Dd made rude comments about friend's acne and her sport team's loss. Her comments were not nice. I'm not cool with that and definitely will be having a discussion with dd.
Friend's mom went to the school, talked with a staff member who will be having a conversation today with dd, friend, and one other girl. According to friend's mom, friend feels like dd and the other girl are whispering about friend.
Friend's mom wants dd and Friend to get together one on one so that they can work through their differences. I agreed to let her go over to friend's house this weekend because I feel like the girls do actually like each other and need to learn how to resolve their differences in a respectful way.
I had a friend confront me last fall about the deterioration of our daughters' friendship who asked to get together with the two girls to work things out. Her daughter was being a bully to my daughter but I kept it to myself because I didn't feel my friend would take any positive action if I shared her daughter's behavior. I told that her I would not get together, that I thought the girls should resolve any differences on their own or quit being good friends because dd was in tears multiple times from the girl's behavior, dd told me she no longer wanted to be friends, and dd had discussed bullying issues with her several times without any change. My friend told me that her daughter was having issues with other people as well so I dismissed the problem as belonging mostly to the other girl and did not worry about the friendship. A mutual friend told me that her daughter was very uncomfortable with the way my dd was being treated and that reaffirmed my decision. The girls see each other once a week and are now polite to each other but do not hang out. They are now drama free so I'm good with it.
I always tell my daughter that we don't have to hang out with everyone but we do have to be polite. If the reports of today are true, dd is not being polite. Guidance and correction will be given.
I guess I'm feeling conflicted because I agreed to work it out with one parent and refused to work it out with my friend. I think it's because dd was crying almost every time she had to see the other girl but Friend doesn't have that effect of her.
Part of me is wondering if my daughter is really the mean girl.
Do 10 year olds really need their moms to play relationship referee? Should they be working out their friendships on their own?
Selling house, inspection question - UPDATE #43
in The Chat Board
Posted
I can tell you the house we are selling was inspected yesterday and the buyer gave us a copy of the report today.