Melinda in VT
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Posts posted by Melinda in VT
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Click the post you want to quote. It will turn blue, and you'll see action tabs across the top--Quote, Like, Share, More.
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It seems simple, but one thing I had to let go of was that I can't make other people be the way I want them to be. I was trying, but no that just is not going to happen.
Yes, this hits close to home.
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What kind of bed does the guest bedroom have?
Could your daughter move down to the pull-out for the duration of the visit so the MIL could sleep in her room?
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The Belgariad by David Eddings. Although go ahead and get the Mallorean while you are at it, because she'll want to see what happens next.
There is some romance, but it's very safely PG, and it's a small part of the larger story.
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Maize, thank you so much for your post. It's very helpful, and it means a lot to me that you took the time to type it up.
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Thanks, Pam. That first book sounds fascinating, but intense. I might check out the Norris book first.:grouphug: I'm sorry you, and they, are going through this.
The best book I've encountered on the subject is Andrew Solomon's Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. The chapters alternate between good summaries of the research on various topics (responsiveness to drugs, cognitive therapy, social stigma v. near-embrace of "melancholia" over different societies in periods of history, etc) vs. the narrative his own descent and submission to the "demons." The research bits are informative about the subject, and the personal bits give the best glimpse I've seen of what it feels like to be on the inside of the experience (the other classic inside experience, William Stryon's Darkness Visible, is also very powerful, but felt less accessible to me).
Another that speaks to a lower-intensity-level disruption, that she names as acedia, is the poet/religious writer Kathleen Norris' account of her own experience with what she categorizes as not quite to the debilitating degree of clinical depression, but nonetheless impairing a full life. She's among my favorite writers.
:grouphug:
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A distracting hobby might be even more therapeutic.
Really, just something that you can do that takes your mind off of stuff.
So all this complete fluff I've been reading is actually a good coping strategy? It sort of feels like hiding.
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I have one teen and one adult in my home who are dealing with various degrees of anxiety and depression.
This has been going on for a couple of years, and I can tell that I am starting to get fuzzy on the line between being a supportive family member and taking ownership for someone else's mood/response/energy levels.
I'm not opposed to seeking counseling for myself if needed, but I think a good book could probably do a ton of good, so I'd like to start there.
Any recommendations?
Or, if you have BTDT advice to share in the thread or via PM, I am all ears.
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I've worked for 4 companies, ranging from 25 employees to hundreds of thousands of employees. In my experience, year-end bonuses are more likely in smaller companies.
My current company does not give bonuses in December.
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And on the other end of the spectrum, don't take half the kids and move halfway across the world so that the siblings won't be together for any of the winter holidays after this year.
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I can see why your husband wants his own space--everyone in the family has personal space except him.
Can you use bookshelves, curtains, etc., to create sleeping space in the basement for one of the boys? Then your husband can use the freed-up bedroom as his space.
That keeps the play area in the basement, where it won't disturb your husband's sleep and where it can accommodate a group of boys. It also gives your husband private space that won't be disturbed by playing kids.
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Yes, I feel safe traveling, and we are not changing our travel plans. We'll be spending three weeks in Denmark next summer, but I wouldn't hesitate to go to France. France is an awesome place to travel with kids.
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Redshirts by John Scalzi
A funny, light-hearted read. I enjoyed this one more than the books I've read in his Old Man's War universe, although I enjoyed those too. I'd like to read one more Scalzi book before mid-January, when he'll be the guest of honor at a convention I'm attending.
Station Eleven
I liked this one quite a bit, but it felt like the author didn't quite finish developing her main theme. With a better dev edit, I think this one could have been five stars.
The Martian
I loved the science and the mental fortitude to avoid panic and work the problem. I read the book and then saw the movie. Both were good. Characterization was better in the movie. Problem solving was better in the book.
Raising My Rainbow
Great look at what it's like to parent a kid who is gender nonconforming. Even though our transgender experience is different in many ways, there was much I could relate to. I hadn't heard of the author's blog before, but I intend to start following it.
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This shows a significant lack of understanding of Mormon doctrine. These kids are being instructed to wait but it will not jeopardize their eternal salvation in any way shape or form.
Nope. I know the doctrine. I've been through the temple.
But many Mormon parents are going to feel that having to wait to be baptized is going to put their kids' eventual activity in the Mormon church at risk and since Mormon ordinances are needed for salvation . . .
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The "clarification" reduces the number of children who will be barred from ordinances, but I think it makes the situation much, much worse for others. Because really, what every custody situation needs is for the kids' eternal salvation to be on the line, right?
I have family members whose likes on Facebook are making me ill. Even members who have been loving and supportive of my (non-Mormon) trans kid.
I'm visiting my sister for a week next month. Usually, I attend church with family members when I stay with them, but I just don't know if I can stomach it this time.
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- Popular Post
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No, you can't control what other people eat, but it's perfectly reasonable to ask those you live with to be supportive of your health.
Honestly, I think your husband is being an ass.
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Crazy socks?
Sorry, my feet are cold at the moment, so it seems like a good idea.
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I'm an Episcopalian as well. I've used material from Joan Chittester (she's Catholic, a progressive Benedictine nun). Here is a link to her Advent materials. Also, take a look at the resources from the brothers at the Society of St. John the Evangelist (in Cambridge, MA); they are Episcopalian monks. You might also look at Occupy Advent. There is also The Advent Conspiracy (which also has a FB group). If you're on FB, you might also look at the pages for "Unapologetically Episcopalian" and "The Episcopal Church." Undoubtedly, they will have some timely materials. If I think of anything else, I'll add it.
ETA: Not specifically for Advent, but the writings of Bishop Steven Charleston are outstanding. He is Choctaw and the retired Bishop of Alaska.
Lots here, and it all looks interesting. Thanks!
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Ooooh, Oh! Me, me! I got the answer!! :hurray:
Google Matthew Kelly "Best Advent Ever". It's an email thing. He'll send you an email each day with a short video, or short reading, etc. Totally Free. If you haven't heard of Matthew Kelly yet, you're gonna love him.
I like the look of this. Thanks!
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I used the Magnificat Advent special book for many years. It walks you through with readings and so on.
http://bookstore.magnificat.net/advent-companion-2231.html
It is possible that the Episcopal Church puts out something similar, but I don't know where to look for that. :0)
This looks really good. Thanks!
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Does it have to be about the season of Advent?
I would have said yes, but now I'm curious to hear what you have in mind. [emoji4]
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I'm looking for something to help me get more deeply into the spirit of Advent. Books, apps, podcasts are all good.
I'm currently attending an Episcopalian church. I like traditional worship and liberal, radically inclusive theology.
This is just for me. The rest of my family considers Sunday church attendance and our family wreath to be more than enough of an Advent celebration.
What are you planning to do this year?
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I disagree with a lot of what happens in churches, including the one I attend with my kids. But I don't agree with trying to pressure religious bodies to conform to mainstream beliefs. It is helpful to know what they teach in church and what is necessary to become members, so those who don't agree can move on. Beyond that, and short of actual illegal abuse, it's really none of our business IMO.
It might be none of your business, but many of us posting in this thread are Mormon or were Mormon and have Mormon family members and friends who are grieving and worried about this decision.
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I love grilled maple bbq chicken, but it can make the grill hard to clean.
Salmon with an Asian marinade?
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Nothing New/Mindful Spending Week 51
in The Chat Board
Posted
I've been reading this thread all year, and I want to jump in for next year. My goals are to be better about repairing things instead of replacing them and to be more mindful of purchases so I reduce the number of things I buy that end up being a bad fit.
My success this week is that I stumbled on a leather shop that can fix one of my favorite purses. I've hung onto it for 5 years since the strap detached from the bag, in the hope that I could get it repaired. It was about $40 brand new, and it's not very old. It is also the perfect size and style for traveling. I am very excited.