Melinda in VT
-
Posts
4,346 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by Melinda in VT
-
-
I don't know. He was unfaithful and it contributed to the break up of your marriage. I don't think a person has a right to keep that a secret. Especially when it comes to his kids, whose lives will be forever impacted by his decision. I don't think you should be telling them out of spite. But I don't think it's unfair to be honest either. "Your dad has been dating someone else since xx day and lied to me about it."
I've seen how hiding the truth about one spouse's actions has negatively affected their children.
You're making assumptions.
The OP and her husband have been talking about divorce for months, and I believe they decided before Christmas to divorce. It's entirely possible that this other person was not in the picture when the divorce decision was made.
I wouldn't say anything to the daughters at this point. I would start to Skype, etc., separately.
And I do see how this would be hurtful and shocking at first.
-
That's the scene that made me decide not to go on with the book. I don't like rape scenes. If they occur in a book that has engrossed me in its characters or plot,like with The Bluest Eye, I can take it. But when it happens right at the beginning like that, it's a major turnoff. Partly, I'm afraid that it's setting the tone for what the book will be like - though in the case of The King's Peace, probably not. But it's also just that getting that gut-punch from a book I don't yet care about makes me actually not want to care about it.
I can understand that. What helped me is that I have read and loved several other Jo Walton books, so even though I didn't care about he characters yet, I cared about and trusted the author.
I can say that the scene is not gratuitous, and not indicative of the tone of the book.
-
6
-
-
The traumatic scene at the beginning, or something later on?
This duology isn't my favorite Walton, but I think she does some neat things, and I always love her heart and integrity.
There's only one sequel: King's Name, but there is a companion book Prize in the Game which has some back story for Elenn - and is a much grimmer book than anything else she has written. It is also a spectacularly done retelling of the Irish epic The Tain. There is a free ebook available. (and here's Jo's blurb about the book)
...
No, it wasn't the beginning. I got bogged down in the battles in the middle. I desperately wanted a map, and spent too much time trying to figure out how and to what extent places in the book mapped to geography in our world.
It is definitely my least-favorite Walton book to date, but I am bringing The King's Name on my trip. Our library also has Prize in the Game, but I'll probably save that for later. I want to read The Just City and sequel, and finish the Farthing books, and there's a book with Children in the title that looks intriguing.
My access to Internet will be spotty this week, but I appreciate the link to Jo's blog and look forward to having time to check it out.
-
8
-
-
Do you think you can get something like textiles at a cost the American consumer is able or willing to pay while having them in country, with each person paid a "living wage"? The cost of the employee and regulations directly factor into the cost of the product. If one goes up, the other does as well. And as many American small businesses will tell you, people do NOT want to pay double or triple for something made in country. If it were cheaper to manufacture and staff businesses and factories it would be easier to justify buying locally. Penalizing imports only solves part of the problem.
It would definitely require a shift in our attitude toward things, but I think it would lead to a healthier society.
Although it is remarkably hard to get past the mindset that being frugal and getting a good deal is the best way to use one's money.
-
3
-
-
I read Boy Snow Bird for my retelling, and I thought it was great, and unexpected. I also really enjoyed Neil Gaiman's The Sleeper and the Spindle.
I saw that Boy Snow Bird was on the first list Kareni linked, and I remembered it had been mentioned on the thread before, AND my library had it on Kindle, so I borrowed the ebook to take on my trip.
I looked for The Sleeper and the Spindle, but that wasn't available from the library as an ebook, so it will have to wait for another time.
-
6
-
-
Congratulations to your daughter!!!
My Austrian travel experience is almost 25 years old, so absolutely useless. It's a beautiful country.
-
1
-
-
How does one become a virtual assistant? Besides know the right person (and I am mentioning this to everyone I know)??
I actually have no idea. DH has talked about hiring one, but always ends up deciding it would be more hassle to manage an employee than do it himself.
-
A virtual personal assistant?
Or, if you are interested in trading reliable income for greater potential income, literary agent?
-
But I still don't understand how that is an issue. If the oblivious person isn't interested then how could it ever progress to a problem? I mean it is a problem for the one flirting because they are inadvertently being led on but once it is clear to the oblivious person they would shut it down. I can see it being a problem if the significant other of said oblivious person was getting jealous of extra time being spent or they noticed the flirting person's intentions and oblivious person wouldn't respect significant other's concerns. But that then gets into why they don't respect significant other and not why they allowed flirting to go on.
And this still doesn't address something like the situation in the OP, where the flirter is someone the flirtee only sees twice a year or so, and not in a setting where anything could escalate.
-
5
-
-
Is it published or is he still working on it? If it's published, can you link?
This particular one is with his editor right now. She's bringing it to the ed board next week.
It's very nice of you to ask, and I hope this doesn't sound rude, but for privacy and safety reasons, I try to keep my online life separate from DH's pen name. I've shared a little too much location information here over the years.
-
11
-
-
One of my favorite fairy tale retellings is Beauty by Robin McKinley. It's wonderful.
It is! But I've read it more than once, and I'd like to try something new.
-
8
-
-
What does your husband write?
He writes in several different genres. This was a novel about a nurse in WWII.
-
10
-
-
I have a question about the bingo categories--how are we defining "epic"? I've been looking for suggestions online, and it looks like people are talking about "epic fantasy" or novels over 500 pages (which we already have as another category).
Or, we can skip the definition discussion, and you can tell me what epics you would recommend. [emoji6]
I'm also interested in recommendations for fairy tale retellings.
-
9
-
-
I'm behind in posting about my reading. This thread reminds me how little time I spend on my laptop these days, and how much I hate to post replies from my iPad.
Our House in the Clouds is a quick read about a US couple building a house in Ecuador. I enjoyed it, but I picked it up only because we are heading to Ecuador for a week, and I have to do at least a little reading related to each trip. Bingo categories: Female author and Set in another country
I read my husband's latest novel. It is, of course, awesome. ;-)
The Secret Chord was my elliptical book. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and now I want to go read the biblical accounts of King David again. Bingo categories: Female author, Historical and Set in another country
The King's Peace is retelling of the King Arthur story. At one point, I thought this might be the first Jo Walton book that was a miss for me, but then I got pulled back into it, and I ended up enjoying it. I plan to read the sequel (sequels?), but not immediately. Bingo categories: Female author and Arthurian
Level Up was supposed to be my new elliptical book, but then I got sick and it was the perfect brain candy, so I finished it. Bingo categories: Female author and Published 2016
I'm currently reading In the Bleak Midwinter, recommended by someone here. I really like the characters, but the author's lack of biology knowledge and the very sloppy copy editing have provided material for several rants to family members. (If you are using blood type to rule out suspects, understand how it works!) I like the characters enough to read another book in the series.
I'm currently debating which books to take on my trip--books in my house waiting to be read, or Kindle books that I buy or borrow?
Here's the list so far for the year.
1. Welcome to the Episcopal Church
2. Sing for Us
3. Yesterday's Kin
4. The Winter's Tale
5. Annihilation
6. The Three-Body Problem
7. Ancillary Justice
8. Simply Tuesday
9. The Lost City of Z
10. Ancillary Sword
11. Ancillary Mercy
12. Our House in the Clouds
13. My husband's latest novel
14. The Secret Chord
15. The King's Peace
16. Level Up
-
12
-
-
One frustration in our current house is having to climb onto a step ladder to clear out the external lint filter.
-
-
I agree with Lanny that figuring out the motivation and source of the alcohol and drugs is important.
Without knowing that (not that you have to tell us!), it's hard to know what I would do next.
Since you used the term "addiction," I'm guessing there is a lot more to the story. Getting drunk and high does not mean someone is addicted.
I'd be looking at counseling to help you as parents figure out what to do next.
-
1
-
-
They go out with the missionaries a lot and also they can always be in contact with their parents. It's one less thing for their parents to worry about. The phone is locked down the same as the missionary phones. (This may or may not be completely accurate, but it is what Ani's friend the mission president's son said.)
Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. This seems reasonable if the mission president's family lives in a particularly dangerous area, but otherwise, this expense would bother me if I were still Mormon.
-
I love puzzles. Ravenburgers are my favorites. I always get one for Christmas from DH, and often another for my birthday.
Neither my parents or siblings are big on jigsaw puzzles, and my kids aren't either. DH enjoys puzzles he can do in an hour or two. I like larger puzzles that spread out over several days.
I'm an obnoxious fellow puzzler. I have learned to bite my tongue about other people's wrong approaches to puzzling, [emoji6] but I tend to work quickly and that discourages family members from joining in. I feel sad about that, but I haven't been able to fix it yet.
-
1
-
-
I keep meaning to join you in India. It was a professional interest of the previous owner of the house, so we have quite a few books about India or set in India that I haven't read yet.
Including one I discovered last week while reorganizing shelves--Indian Diary by Sidney and Beatrice Webb, which the cover says "surpasses both Hindoo Holiday and A Passage to India" in "sharpness of observation and range of interests."
Unfortunately, my reading keeps getting pulled in other directions--by the science fiction and fantasy convention, by my IRL book club, by our upcoming trip to Ecuador--so I don't know when I'll make my way there.
-
10
-
-
We have neither rain (so sorry Jane) nor sun (grrrr, Rose) but it is currently 3 degrees here. That's Farenheit, Sadie -- -18 for you, shoot me in the head. I am shortly off to Philadelphia with my son on a college visit. My plan is it's going to get steadily warmer as we head south. Hold me in the light, please.
Add me to the list of people who need to work on taxes, but it's -10 here, -27 if you include wind chill, and it's going to be a struggle to crawl out from under the blankets in front of the fire and head into the always-chilly office.
-
8
-
-
Thanks, Plink. That is helpful and to the point. I found this article too which I think might help the overwhelmed spouse trying to cope. http://psychcentral.com/lib/suffering-in-silence-when-your-spouse-is-depressed/
Thanks for the article. The things it mentions in the last section are the kinds of self-care I was talking about. These are good to do even if the depressed spouse won't seek medical treatment.
-
I think you try to help the spouse find ways to reduce the impact on them. This might mean separation, but it might just mean changing how the spouse responds to specific issues. I'd encourage the spouse to work on both financial and emotional independence.
-
8
-
-
Fun Fact: Everyone in the mission president's family over a certain age (14, maybe?) is issued an iPhone. My daughter has been in seminary class with the SA mission president's son since they were freshman and that's how we found out.
I'm curious about the thinking behind that. Why would the mission president's children need iPhones?
Disney experts can you help me please? Please!?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I have never stayed onsite, so I don't know much about the dining plan. Reservations are a good idea for any sit-down restaurant (as opposed to counter service).
Accept that your Disney vacation will go much better with a plan and a rough schedule. Then go buy The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World, read it, and follow their advice.