Any Other Gentle Parenters out there? in The Chat Board Posted June 10, 2014 I see authoritative as different than authoritarian. When someone is authoritative, people are looking to them as a good source of information, an expert so to speak. They have authority because they've earned it. Whereas I see authoritarian as more dogmatic and controlling. Taking authority rather than being endowed with it through your track record. I was using authoritative as discussed here: http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm This is what I aim for.