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HRAAB

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Posts posted by HRAAB

  1. A certain expletive relative did this to one of my kids many years ago. He cried the entire time, stopped eating his dinner and for sure didn't feel like dessert. He just wanted to go home. So of course, he had to be called "rude for acting like a baby". He was 8 years old. He told them he wouldn't like it. We told them he wouldn't like it. Heck, he was putting his hands over his ears and asking politely in a nervous way when they would be done when they did it to someone else on the other side of the restaurant. They thought it was hilarious how he reacted and were ticked he didn't just "get over it". Yeah. Real funny to purposely crap on his birthday. Jerks.

     

    And no, like I told them. There's nothing "wrong" with him, tynsvm.

     

    Personally I think there's something a lot more wrong with people who seem to get a kick out of purposely making other people feel like crap publicly and then shaming them for not appreciating it "all in good fun", but I'm aware I am often the only one with this POV.

     

    Same thing happened to my dd.  What really infuriated me was that my dh and I both told them NOT to ask the staff to sing, and they ignored us, the parents.  It's like the well meaning family members that tease or tickle relentlessly no matter how many times they are told it isn't appreciated.  And suggest your child is rude, a baby, or spoiled because they don't like being made the center of attention.

     

    This really gets me fired up.  I'm an adult that does not want surprise parties or to be serenaded in a restaurant, but as an adult, I can stand up for myself (or go hide in the bathroom).  Kids have to put up with it.

    • Like 1
  2. I wouldn't wear one because it would never occur to me.  I'm not Muslim, and it would feel odd to me to wear something that is a part of another religion.  I do wear a long cover up when I'm out of the water, but if I'm swimming, I prefer to be in my swimming suit.  I don't care to have people looking at my 50+ year old body on the beach, but there are plenty of cover ups for me to choose from without choosing a beach hijab/burkini.

     

    None of that was meant to be offensive; just honestly how I would feel.  That Muslim women are being banned from dressing according to their beliefs is horrific.

    • Like 2
  3. I hate them.  If I found out ahead of time, I would probably get sick - from anxiety.

     

    Once I got word that a friend was planning a surprise party for me.  I got a mutual friend to tell her I can't handle surprises like that - in a very nice way - and she dropped the surprise part, asked me to help with the guest list, and kept me updated on what she was planning.  Fortunately, she didn't get her feelings hurt.  I realize she didn't know me that well, or she would have known how I feel about surprises.  Since then I'm rather vocal so people know NOT to plan a surprise for me.  I would not enjoy it or have fun.  That's just me.

  4. In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing to complain about.  I really can't imagine complaining and making his life harder.  He's going to face enough hurdles without that.

     

     

    I think if I did have an issue for whatever reason, I would simply take my child out and find another camp that aligns better with my beliefs.  I don't like to cause problems for people that aren't doing anything wrong.

  5. I've been homeschooling since 1995.

     

    Oldest - 1st through 12th

    Second - K through 10th (1 semester in public school, considered it a social experiment, graduated early and started college)

    Third - K through 8th; 9th through 12th attended a small classical school based on the university model (3 days a week) covering history, literature, science, Latin. Everything else at home

    Fourth - K through 8th; 9th and 10th (so far) attending same private school as her older sister, home two days a week

    Fifth - K through 9th and counting at home fulltime

  6. I would guide and correct my children in public. If you're talking about giving them a lecture or a stern talking to (chewing out), I'd do that privately. I found with my girls that it was less effective to correct misbehavior after the occurrence. I'd go over how to behave before we got to the place, but if they did something that was out of bounds, I would correct them. Usually a look or a tap on the shoulder. Maybe me shaking my head or a whisper. Otherwise I'd pull them to the side. If they hurt someone or damaged something, they would apologize.

  7. All you people who would have filed a claim over this...... do you not have deductibles?  If I get repairs and the insurance doesn't go the way I want (which it might if disputed) I'm out $500. 

     

    If I were able to get the insurance information from the person who dented my car, I would go through their carrier.  

     

    If I wasn't able to get the other person's information and it was a small dent, I probably wouldn't turn it into my company because it would be less than my comp deductible.  Depends on the amount of damage.  

     

    Dh came out and found a note on his windshield one time.  The guy next to him had accidentally hit his car door into dh's door pretty hard.  It was really nice of him to leave his phone number.  We filed a claim under his policy.  It didn't look like all that much damage but it still ran around $900 to get it fixed.

    • Like 1
  8. Why is that offensive?

     

    I have no negativity towards someone who feels that way. I don't think they are stupid or foolish or anything else. I can understand why anyone might feel that way about a lot of marriage issues. Because marriage in general is private and most certainly wanting to keep marriage problems private is not a bad idea either. And I can understand not wanting to confront such an issue even if it were true for lots of reasons.

     

    And of course, maybe they just don't think their spouse is cheating or have other reasons for not wanting to know even if the spouse is, which is also perfectly acceptable.

     

    I think I misread you.  I took you to mean the women that say they don't want to know already know that their spouses are cheating and don't want to have to confront it.

     

    I was one who said I wasn't sure if I would want to know.  Honestly, the thought of my dh having an affair doesn't even compute for me barring a mental disorder or alien abduction.  It goes against everything he stands for and believes in.  But let's say he flipped, had a crisis of some kind - using my imagination here - I truly don't know that I would want to find out at this point.  Not to sound arrogant, but I hold the cards.  I've been the wife for 31 years, I'm not going to lose my children, my girls would side with me.  While his family wouldn't disown him, they'd be on my side.  Yes, I can say that with confidence.  This is assuming that nothing else changed other than him developing another personality.  Financially I think I would come out okay.  I also know his family would step in to help in that regard.  Our friends would strongly disapprove of his behavior.  And he'd be harder on himself that any priest in the confessional.  Not that there are any winners in such a situation, but I would be in a better position than him.

     

    It's such an odd scenario to try and imagine, but I really did try to put myself in that place.  I wouldn't divorce him over an affair unless he initiated it.  I do have my line in the sand, but it's not a one time affair/one night stand.  A serial cheater would be different.  I would not toss in all the great, wonderful years for a one time mistake.  So, at this point in my life, I'm not sure that I would want to be burdened with the information.  If that's not living in reality, so be it.

     

    After all that, I would probably be one of those women that knows.  He's a lousy liar, has no social life outside of his family, never travels.  If something was up, I'd probably already know.  For me, this is just a big thought experiment. No cheating in my life that I'm aware of.

    • Like 3
  9. Oh, and to answer your question, my kid would get chewed out.  They are warned every time we're in a parking lot to be careful of other cars and watch the doors.  I don't recall how old the kid was, but if they're smaller and car doors are heavy and awkward, I have them wait for me to open them to avoid this type of thing.  I'm careful of other cars, and I think other people should be, too.

    • Like 3
  10. Your car suffered a dent and paint chipped off?  I don't see this as a matter of giving or not giving grace.  Damage was done due to another's actions and should be taken care of.  That's why we have insurance.  Let them handle it.

     

    If it was a newer car and it actually was dented with paint chipped off, I would certainly turn it over to their insurance company if I was able to talk to the responsible party.  Nothing personal, just taking care of damage.  Plus, maybe in the future they will be more careful.  Dh and I are starting to look for a newer car, and the prices have floored me.  A car is a huge investment.

     

    Right now all our cars are older, and I probably wouldn't bother.  But a newer car, yes I would.

    • Like 4
  11.  

    When I was younger, I was that kid who always had a book under the text in class. ;)  Even as an adult I read and read and read.  Now I read less fiction and more non-fiction.  

     

     

     

    I got sent to the hall for doing that.  Didn't matter that I had already read the text and answered the questions.  I remember getting reprimanded in 2nd grade.  The crime?  I read too fast.

     

    Is it any wonder I homeschooled my girls?

    • Like 1
  12. I can commiserate.  I'm embarrassed to admit what I spend most of my time reading.  Hopefully, my attention span, and my comprehension, will get back to where it was.  At first I blamed the kids.  Then I blamed menopause and the mushy brain, but I think I should be recovering.  Makes me wonder if I've moved directly from menopause into senility.

  13. I am a reader.  I was an only child without many neighborhood children for many years, and I think I filled that void with reading.  Regardless, the habit has stayed with me.  My dad was a voracious reader.  My mom read some but not like my dad.  My younger sister is a voracious reader, too.  Dh reads in the evening, usually during fall and winter.  Summer and spring he would rather be outside working.

     

    My oldest doesn't read much.  Second and third oldest are always reading - when they have time (college, jobs, etc.) One of the twins always has her nose in a book; the other has been working on the same book all summer.

     

    I read every day.  I read while cooking, eating, when I should be doing other things.  I even take my book to the bathroom.  I have to discipline myself, and it's hard.

  14. Dh and I both grew up in the same area, and we both love our state and still live in the same city.  In fact, we live in the house where I grew up.  Still, we have to be honest and admit it's not the way we remember it from childhood.  The population has exploded; the traffic is bad; it feels crowded; there is more crime.  Those are the negatives.  There are positives, too.    There are so many more cultural events and educational opportunities, and even with the growth, our crime rate is still relatively low. We live here because this is where dh's job was, his family is here, and our older dds live here.  Within 30 to 45 minutes, we can be in the mountains; outdoor activities are abundant. There are four distinct seasons, and the weather isn't as extreme as many places.  Although right now it is way too hot and our valley is filled with smoke from forest fires.

     

    I suspect that might move some day to a quieter, smaller area.  There are a couple of neighboring states where I don't think I would mind living.  Not much stays the same.  I miss the small city I grew up in, but I wouldn't want to live in a static community.  This is the nature of progress.

  15. I certainly do not believe every affair needs to lead to divorce. But you would really just not want to know?

     

    I said I guess I would want to know.  On further thought, I'm not really sure.  That's the best answer I can give.

    • Like 2
  16. I'm not going to be too quick to judge women who don't want to know.  Maybe some of them already know.

     

    Would I want to know.  Twenty years ago, I would have said absolutely, and then promptly found the best divorce lawyer around.  Now, after 31 years of marriage, 5 children, I'm not so sure.  I guess I would want to know, but I wouldn't be so quick to leave everything I have.  If he was willing to stop, get counseling, I'd do everything I could to keep it together.

     

    I'm not about to judge other women and how they handle infidelity.  Their marriage, their life, their choice.

    • Like 9
  17. Yes - they're beautiful and awesome and comparably inexpensive compared to Empreinte, Prima Donna, and the other premium brands that fit me well.

     

    Effuniak is the brand, by Ewa Michalak. I've been buying from her for at least six years now. The sizing is slightly tricky as the bands are very firm but with her sizing videos and multiple measurements you can usually get pretty darn close, and she can do custom sizes so gals who need a 26/28 inch band or women who have a large band (44+ inches) and a comparably small cup volume (like a 44B) can also get beautiful bras. My breasts look their best and the styles and genuinely pretty - I can't say enough good things about them.

     

    The only caution is that if you're used to a soft, stretchier band or worn out support they can take a week or two to get used to. Then they're pretty much amazing. The shipping can take a few weeks but it is well worth it. Love!

    http://www.ewa-michalak.pl/eng_m_BRAS_ALL-189.html

     

    They have nursing bra options too, and those are all I've used the last few babies.

     

    ETA - I just checked and she is still offering some bands of only 60 centimeters, or about 24 inches, and they fit snugly. For really tiny women I haven't seen a better option.

     

    Thank you.  I'm going to give her this information.  She just gave birth last month, and the last time I saw her she was wearing a sports bra that didn't give the support she needs, and it was cutting into her shoulders.  She's had 3 babies very close together and never had a chance to get back to her pre-pregnancy size, which is quite large.

     

    I might make it a birthday present for her.

  18. This has got me thinking.  My dd was in a somewhat similar situation.  Similar in that she married a man who didn't have much, if anything, to recommend him, and I'll leave it at that.  She had/has a lot going for her: college scholarships, hard worker, goals.  But she was young, inexperienced, stubborn, and thought she had found her soulmate. The minute she was old enough, she married him.  We had been honest about our many misgivings, but once they were married we took a deep breath and decided to be supportive.

     

    Now, she never asked to live with us, and had she asked, it would have been a desperate situation.  Thinking back over the situation, I feel it was a good thing they didn't live with us because it would have extended her fantasy.  It would have been so easy for him to keep on talking, empty promises and all, while we were financially taking care of them.  As it was, my dd learned very quickly that she had made a huge mistake and was able to get out.  Cutting back to part time, losing her scholarship, and working two jobs while he sat in their apartment on the internet all day, very quickly opened her eyes.

     

    Sometimes helping out, even with the best of intentions, can prolong a bad situation.  Every situation is as unique as the people involved though.

    • Like 10
  19. Lucky girl - I pretty much stay a J cup whether I'm thin or heavy, since I lose in my band about at the rate I lose cup size. My nursing size is about a 36J and my non nursing cup right now is a 38I. I kept hoping they'd shrink but I just have a lot of breast tissue.

     

    I order the bullet proof awesome Ukrainian bras and call it good, because even Nordstrom has almost nothing in my size that's not ugly. Sheeeeesh!

     

    What are bullet proof Ukrainian bras?  Do you have a link?  I would like to forward it to my dd.  She has an impossible time shopping for bras even when she's not nursing.

  20. I don't know.  How you will react to certain situations is unknowable until you're in that situation.  From where I am now, I do not think so.  I'm pretty sure my dh would say no.  Still, I would be doing everything I could to keep the lines of communication open between us.

     

    I don't quite get this guy, though.  Conservative Christians usually don't approve of living together outside of marriage.  Makes me question his motives.  He has a place to live and food to eat.  Not a bad deal says the cynical me. 

     

    eta:  One thing for sure, if we let them live in our home, he would be required to get a job.  All my girls have worked while in college taking more than 3 classes.  Yeah, I'm not impressed with him.

    • Like 1
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