Just wondering has anyone had a really 'resistant to learning' child that suddenly took off on their own at a certain age? Would anyone mind sharing experiences etc that might be relevant? I have a nearly 7 year old (my eldest of 3 boys) and he is really resistant to doing his little bit of schooly stuff we do every morning - i keep thinking he may suddenly 'get it' and take off on his own a bit more around 8. (not sure why i think this) At the moment he really only wants to do playstation and watch tv - i restrict access to these but he just isnt interested in doing much else. He doesnt even want me to read to him. He is very slowly learning to read - we started about a year and a half ago and he is still only half way through opgtr and struggling with vowel combination (ao, ou, etc). Every day is just a real strain and i dont know how long i can keep this up. We do, a page or less of miquon, half a page of spelling workout level 1, writing is a couple of words, then he does some reading either out of OPG or some early level readers. We do SOTW but he is usually fairly ok with that. He stalls, gazes round the room, shouts, starts picking on his brothers, pretends he cant hear me, scribbles all over the books, just generally causes a commotion and it can take more than 2 hours to do the above. At the same time the other 2 are really wanting my attention and i'm trying to keep them pacified whilst big brother, well, does what he does! I am so drained after we get through this that i feel like i just want to hide away from the kids for the rest of the day!

I have 3 boys 7, 3 and 1. I do a bit of schooling with the 7 year old in the morning - LA, maths, history - *if* he sat down and concentrated it would probably take 30-60mins - we go out a lot in the afternoons, groups, family etc. He is so resistant even to the little bit of work we do in the morning (the strain of it often makes me feel like i'm choking-wierd stress thing) but i really dont feel we are doing enough. When we stay in there is lots of sibling issues and lots of him yelling at me that he is bored and wanting to do playstation/watch tv - nag nag nag!! I will make lots of suggestions of interesting things to do but get a no to all suggestions....tv playstation nag nag nag scream, shout, fight, wail till tv or playstation goes on or until i tell the oldest to go play in his room for an hour and enforce it as he wouldnt go willingly...hope you get the picture! I need inspiration for educational things you do with the kids that i can do on days at home that they find fun basically.

I dont know how to inbed quotes but tex-mex said... '''ETA: My hubby is a visionary/philosopher soul. Loves to sit and think deep thoughts. Loves a stimulating intellectual conversation. I totally get where the OP is coming from. I'm the "sounding board" for my better half! *grin*''' Yes, i am totally your husband - unfortunately, though my husband has many wonderful qualities, capacity for such conversation is very limited :D So i have no sounding board at home. He will listen attentively but has little to add which is the whole point of such conversations really. This wasnt so important before children when all these needs were met by work and a good social life but obviously in my situation now I wouldnt really be struggling so much if i had a fellow philosopher for a spouse :) Also the depression comment - i've always been a bit prone to depression, when i used the phrase 'got more severe' that means got more severe for ME - which on an objective scale means moderate depression. I would say i can, if i dont watch myself, easily fall into a mild depression/anxiety. Even when working and 'free' this was possible. But on the whole i know what i need to do to get myself out of a depressive state just sometimes the things i need 'ideally' are hard to achieve in my current situation. Hence coming here looking for ways to meet those needs without having to give up the home ed etc. Hope that makes sense!

Ah where do i begin to respond to all these thoughtful posts! :) My job b4 children was assistant psychologist and i was just about to embark on the clinical psychologist training program when i found out i was pregnant. The course is hugely pressured and demanding and i just knew i wouldnt be able to do it with kids (it lasts 3 years) so i never started the course. Obviously my days were spent in very mind stretching and deep conversation with both clients and collegues, which i absolutely thrived on, so if i went back to work in the same field i would most certainly meet those intellectual/deep-stimulating conversation needs perfectly. I have ideas now of gradually working my way towards becoming a counselling psychologist (alongside homeschooling) through a different route than i would have taken if i hadnt have had children. Part of my wondering what to do is looking into the practicalities of this. I meant to add that reading discussions on this forum, and others similar to it, goes some way toward meeting the need for mental/social stimulation too, which i appreciate. I know that lots and lots of woman on here are highly educated/intelligent and in need of the same types of mental excercise that i'm looking for :001_smile: Oh! and i i dont think anyone was referring to me (the OP) when they referred to the lady seeming to be self centred - they were referring to the quote that i quoted in my initial post. The more i think about it the more i realise that what happens is that when i read a quote like that (especially after 2 wks being stuck at home with sick kids :) ) it just triggers off guilt in me for all those moments were i have not been as patient with my dc as i would like or were i've felt desperate for a bit of time away from them. I wonder if i am doing the right thing and i would be a better mum if i went to work and we all had that time away from each other. But as many people have said - it is only natural to have these feelings and i can see that. They come and feel so intense and then they go again till next time. :001_smile: Plus, i'm sure if i went back to work/training i wouldnt suddenly become the perfect mother that i would so like to be :tongue_smilie: I also have family and friends telling me i should go back to work etc and what a waste. My husband would really like the extra money too :001_smile: When he stresses about money it makes me feel guilty. About the home ed groups - i usually go to any group that i can - its limited round here though - i am in the uk and in an area where there is not huge amounts going on but i'm coming across more things all the time so yes i will definately get right back in there when we are all well! Thanks to everyone again for helping me think those thoughts/feelings through! :001_smile:

Thank you all so much for your replies!! :001_smile: They are so helpful in helping me figure out what it actually is i am looking for! I do a lot of reading and researching and stuff already to try and get the mental stimulation i need but there are definately more things i could do in this area that would help. I also think i need to somehow make that a priority - dh works long long hours and i dont have that much help with the kids otherwise, and they are not big sleepers so its not like i can do anything when they go to bed cos by then i am in bed too usually!! I think the main thing missing for me is to have other people to talk to who are on my wavelength so to speak. We went through a phase a few weeks back were we were out almost every day for about 3 weeks going to different home ed stuff and were the kids where mainly happy playing without much attention from me and i had so many great conversations that i was just on top of the world. Now i am coming to the end of a 2 week spell of staying in due to illness and not much going on home ed wise and i can feel the ache in my soul!! :tongue_smilie: I think really deeply about things and i so so need to talk about things and thoughts and ideas that i have - bat them off others who are on a similar wavelength. I could literally spend maybe 80% of each day in conversation of the right sort, with the right company - i have an almost insatiable desire for it :D Any conversation is good and helpful, but there is another sort that can only happen with certain people - i'm lucky that when home ed groups are on that a lot of the people are those 'certain' people! Also i feel like there is so much to learn and understand and i follow rabbit trails all the time and i think part of me wants to find something that i can feel like i am 'making a difference' in, contributing to,for the wider good or something - if thats makes sense. I find that feeling hard to explain. Sometimes i feel like my brain is wasting away and i know that it could do some brilliant stuff given the right material :D The depression thing - it did get to a more severe stage when i was pregnant with number 3 for various reasons - i had counselling and sorted all that out - its probably the just 'isolated human being looking after 3 young kids' kinda proneness to feeling depressed now - i can handle it now - but i just know if i could get the obove needs met consistently, which was easy before having kids (hence the association with being in work/education) i would be much healthier emotionally and therefore maybe more able to handle the kids at times. I absolutely do not want to send my kids to school so i am definately looking for solutions within my current cirumstances rather than the school option. I think when i read comments such as that i quoted - it makes me feel guilty in a bit of a convoluted way for homeschooling, because a tut tutting 'authoritarian' voice in my head says i am doing a bad thing for my kids cos i could, maybe, be happier and therefore a better mum, if they were in school and i could meet my needs more easily, and this would make them happier, better behaved etc etc... Anyway - thanks again for the discussion - off to re-read it and see what solutions i can come up with :grouphug:

Thanks for all your replies! I have to have the light on too while the tv is on even then sometimes it at least triggers a headache! I did a little researching and came up with someone saying a plasma screen would be the ultimate for a migraine sufferer and next best would be an LCD screen with an LED back light. All that is to do with the flicker rate or something like that! I'm gonna try the birightness adjustment when i figure out how and see what type of screen we have - though i cant see us being able to afford a new one for a while. I'm typing this with sunglasses on - at least its something while i figure our the brightness thing! :tongue_smilie:

I read this in the comment section on a website called 'education revolution' - interesting site, and it was in response to an article about unschooling and feminism.... """I was dying at home. Depressed, unhappy, bored. I love my three children but I am not able to live without intellectual stimulation. I need challenge and yes, there was plenty of that at home but it was not intellectually rigorous. I found excellent childcare for my children and went back to university. Yahoo! No more depression and my sense that I was a failure as a mother disappeared. My adult children remember their childhood very fondly and describe it as a time that was creative and filled with interesting trips out into the world around us. They remember turning the livingroom into forts with blankets and chairs and they remember all sorts of art projects. Their friends filled the house and yard on the weekend and after school. My children loved their daycare. I did too! They loved the educational field trips my husband and I took them on during our weekends and on odd days off: Science World, frequent trips to the BC Museum, the Duncan Forest Museum, to name but a few. I loved university and my career and I loved my children with all my heart. You don’t have to be a stay at home mother to be a good mother BUT you do have to be happy and feel fulfilled in life. A depressed woman who doesn’t fit the at home mom picture is not a healthy person to be raising children."""" It struck a real uncomfortable chord with me as i can relate to how she describes being at home. (i have 3 boys ages 6, 3, and nearly 1) My brain absolutely craves intellectual stimulation, for example, a few years after graduating from uni and being in a job i went on to do a masters because my brain felt like it was rotting away and i needed to do something with it - my brain is perpetually engaged in deep thought!! Anyway, the comment triggered my fears of not being the best mum because i'm trying to sqeeze myself into a role that doesnt fit me and so i am constantly fighting that depression. I KNOW if my circumstance were different (at a stimulating job or doing that course i worked toward all those years but gave up when pregnant) that i would not be fighting off depression all the time (its not severe but always waiting in the wings to swoop me away and i suffer somewhat with irritability - probably not helped by not having a full nights sleep in 7 years!). It makes me wonder whether i'm doing the right thing. On the other hand, i cannot concieve of sending my kids off to school - it just seems absolutely undo-able. So i have what feels like a total unsolvable dilemma. Anyone else dealt with this and managed to have her cake and eat it without packing kids off to school or having to live with that drowning feeling all the time?

Anyone? :)

I have had migraines since i was a kid - different triggers over the years. A major trigger the last few years is the computer. I didnt notice anything till we got an apple mac a few years back - now if i spend more than about an hour a day on it i get a migraine. Most of the time this is sort of ok - helps me not spend to much time online - but truly sometimes i need to be able to spend more time on it and i would like to be able to without getting a migraine - migraines are really not good with 3 young kids to look after too. Anyone have a similar thing or know any solutions/advice?

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas! ""My thought is that we could be done in less than an hour so why doesn't he just knuckle down and have the rest of the time to do as he pleases. He just doesn't operate like that though."" Yes that exactly! I could try the timer thing but i'm not confident it would work with him and his personality. I try and get him to take breaks inbetween working but he says he doesnt want to and has a fit if i try and enforce a break (because i need it!!) so i dont know if its a lack in concentration skills or what. I do on occassion send him to his room to complete his maths page (when i really cant take it anymore) but obviously thats not ideal and not what he wants to do either.

I get so frustrated! My eldest ds is 6.5, i also have a 3.5 and 9mth ds's. I do a little bit of work with the eldest each day - i feel like its just a tiny bit and then he has the rest of the day to do as he pleases but he drags the work out for sooooooo long and there is only so long that i can expect the other 2 to be devoid of my attention and i have resorted to having the 3 year old watch a dvd which i feel guilty about. Here's what we do - what do you think... Maths - 1 side of a sheet of miquon (orange book) - can take him an hour. Reading - half a lesson out of OPGTR - we're on lesson 81 Spelling - half or 1 page of spelling workout - 1st book Writing - half a page of HWT SOTW - 3days per week Science - 2days per week He quite enjoys SOTW and science but the rest he drags out forever!!!! Its not that he doesnt get it he just messes around and gets up and down, plays about and does anything but concentrate!!! We start about 9 and it can take till 12 or even later just to do this much. And that is often without the science or SOTW cos we dont always do them cos i just totally cant do any more - all the time is gone and my patience, and the patience of my other 2 sons is gone. We started at 9 today - it is now 10.50 and he's done 1 sheet of miquon and half a page of spelling - i've sent him away for a bit cos i am getting too frustrated to carry on. He wants me sitting with him while he does it all - which i dont object to in theory and if i had just him to attend to it wouldnt really matter but i cant expect the other 2 to entertain themselves for 3 hours every day while he messes and dawdles through things. Am i expecting too much? I feel like this is so little to ask, like i'm just scratching the surface to keep him ticking over in case we should be inspected or something unforseen happens and he needs to go to school. I've changing tv time till after work is done (we generally have an hour of tv to start the day as i am not a morning person and appreciate having my breakfast without shouting and fighting going on!) but it didnt really make a huge amount of difference. Suggestions or words of wisdom anyone? :0)

I could not contain MY excitment that long! I am 35 and am yet to have a full or good nights sleep on christmas eve! I get the lesson you're trying to teach and i think its sweet, but after lots of delayed gratification in childhood myself (dad died when i was 6 and mum didnt work so money was extremely tight) i no longer believe in it :tongue_smilie: I'm still really good with money though - just dont save everything up for either b'days or christmas - i get stuff as i need it (as long as its within budget) and i'm not bothered if i get stuff for birthdays/christmas or not. Thats just me - i can be a bit strange :tongue_smilie:

I could not contain MY excitment that long! I am 35 and am yet to have a full or good nights sleep on christmas eve! I get the lesson you're trying to teach but after lots of delayed gratification in childhood myself (dad died when i was 6 and mum didnt work so money was extremely tight) i no longer believe in it :tongue_smilie: I'm still really good with money though - just dont save everything up for either b'days or christmas - i get stuff as i need it (as long as its within budget) and i'm not bothered if i get stuff for birthdays/christmas or not. Thats just me - i can be a bit strange :tongue_smilie:

Thanks for your advice - i think i will have to make up some of my own maths sheets. I can see that although he can do the problems in the end with the prompting that he is not really truly 'getting' the concepts so i'm guessing this is normal for a 6.5 yr old and that more practice will remedy this?

Just wondering if this is normal/ok or if i'm doing something wrong etc. My eldest is 6.5 and we started doing miquon orange book about 5mths ago - no formal maths previously. (We have thrown some MEP in too but i found so boring and slow and ds didnt seem fussed so we are just using miquon for now) We are half way through the addition/subtraction sheets (E). He still needs lots of promting through nearly every sum or problem. Straightforward addition he can do ok with the rods on the whole, but anything with more than two numbers to add or where you have only one half of the sum and the answer and need to find the other half - i have to prompt every step even though he's done similar problems numerous times now. He also needs promting through the subtractions. Me: 'So if we have 10 and we take 3 away what are we left with' - he couldnt/wont? just look at the sum and do it himself. So my thoughts are... 1. He is resistant to everything in life that isnt exactly what he wants to do right that moment, very dramatic about things, so i wonder if some of it is his personality - he just really cant be bothered to try and maybe i am helping him too much. 2. This is just normal and if we keep plodding on it will click for him in the end. 3. If 2. is correct then have people found that miquon gives enough practice at the concepts for thier child or did they have to supplement/ make lots more practice sheets?