Momof3littles
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Posts posted by Momof3littles
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You may be eligible to buy through the marketplace if the employer-offered plan is not "adequate" . . . Check into it.
We have, but I thank you. The coverage is a good plan, it is just very pricey to add on our family. His work plan meets all of the legalities for affordability for employees because it would be deemed affordable for DH, since his premium would be fully covered. The affordability standard isn't the same for non employee family members. DH is well compensated, but it still hurts to pay upwards of 10K for health insurance, plus of course deductibles, etc. Others certainly have it worse, however. And I said upthread, my brother has greatly benefited, with a major reduction in his rates thanks to a subsidy.
edited to add link that addresses the ruling stating employer sponsored coverage for the family (vs the employee) doesn't have to meet the affordability standard. Even if affordability applied, Dh's compensation is such that it would still be deemed "affordable" according to his income. But it is a moot point since we wouldn't pay >9.5% of his income toward *his* premium, since DH's employer would pick up his premium at 100% if we didn't have a private family policy.
http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/pdf/flsawithplans.pdf
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Yes, prices are crazy, but that's in and out of the marketplace. We have a private policy that we purchased outside of the marketplace yrs ago, and we've been unable to come up with a better plan via the marketplace. Through Dh's employer, we would pay 12K/yr for our family (his premium would be covered but we would have to pay to add on the rest of our family). Right now we pay about 800/month with a 3500 family deductible for our private plan. In the marketplace, a bronze plan was more than that with a much higher deductible (10k/family). We aren't eligible for a subsidy.
My brother owns his own business, has had a private plan for years, and saved thousands per year by going through the marketplace. It really depends on individual finances.
IMO, until we control costs, we'll continue to see prices rise, employees pick up more of their premium, and that's likely going to occur in and out of the marketplace. For many of those who qualify for a subsidy, the ACA has been helpful in lowering costs. Costs were rising long before ACA went into effect, with employees expected to contribute more and more to their family premiums, more copays, higher deductibles. The pattern was set well before ACA ever came into existence.
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Thinking of your family.
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It is absolutely possible to misinterpret one's intentions when intoxicated. What if the victim, intoxicated herself, says "no", yet proceeds to continue to flirt? I'm not saying that this is the case in every case, far from it, but this is not rocket science that two drunks don't make the best decisions.
What decade are we in? I find this unbelievable. So unbelievable I don't feel like even offering the opposing viewpoint!
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This is all beautiful in its ideal, but the harsh reality is that anyone who gets drunk gets himself more at risk for being a victim of crime. In the same way as anyone who drives drunk is at a higher risk of causing an accident.
We may argue the theory of it all we want, and I don't want to use the word "blame." What about personal responsibility? There's nothing wrong with being ashamed of one's own mistakes. And in any other context not many would argue with me here. If I were to drive drunk and cause an accident, you bet I'd be ashamed of myself, and rightly so. So most reasonable people won't drink and drive.
Comparing a victim of a crime, drunk or not, to someone voluntarily drinking and driving and committing a crime is absurd.
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Stuart Murphy Mathstart books cover things like perimeter, negative numbers, etc. in a gentle way.
Eventually I would also explore Penrose (and others in that series) as well as Sir Cumference.
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We had the rover years ago and it didn't get much play after it was assembled the first time. I like the more open ended set like our 750 one, because it is more versatile and has lasting play value IME. Totally depends on the kid I'm sure, however.
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And how many of us personally know men who were falsely accused (and that's assuming that we know that they were in fact innocent, which is not the easiest to be certain of) vs. women who never reported being sexually assaulted? Yes, anecdotal, but my personal experience is that I know quite a few women who never reported their assault (takes up two hands, and those are the cases I can think of!), but I know of zero men in my life who were ever falsely accused of a sex crime. Yes, it can happen, but the under-reporting is far, far more prevalent!
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And heaven forbid the rapist is an athlete!
Or the son of someone important (big donor, prestigious alumnus, whatever), or any number of qualifiers that make them extra special enough to have it swept under the rug :/
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Streamlined riding boots will always be a classic I think. Booties are actually probably more "in" in many places, but that doesn't make a nice tall boot "out."
I have been wearing and enjoying a pair of ankle boots with cuffed jeans a lot. They are getting more wear than my tall boots ATM. If you are interested in ankle boots, look at the Sam Edelman Petty and the Clark's Spye and see if they are at all appealing to you. CHeck Nordstrom online for a large selection of ankle (edited to add: and tall) boots.
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I have to admit to being very conflicted about Bill Cosby. I must be crazy because when I see a bunch of women with the same story, I think "mob mentality." It is very easy to hear someone's story and go "me too." I don't know if that is the case here, but that's where my mind went first.
Not necessarily about Mr. Cosby, but in general I am confused by this thread. There seems to be the assumption that if any woman says she was sexually abused/assaulted, then the accused is guilty. There ARE false allegations. There ARE mistakes made under the influence of drugs/alcohol by both men and women. These things DO exist. What protection do we offer men in our country if the woman has to be believed all the time. Who believes the men? I guess because we are mostly female on this forum, we are required to side with the women always. Some women here have expressed concern/uncertainty and that is ok. We don't need to all agree or be called disgusting and/or unbelievable. In my opinion this issue is not black and white, it has gray all over it.
There are people who understand the devastation that sexual impropriety causes a man and will use that to their advantage. I do think that women should come forward, but I don't feel uncomfortable with the burden of proof being very high. It should be a high burden of proof to essentially end someone's life: incarceration, sex offender registration, little to no chance at employment forever and ever. Those are devastating consequences, and they should be reserved for someone who has been PROVEN to be of danger to women and/or children, not simply suspected.
I guess I wonder if there is a solution that offers balance. Women need to feel empowered and safe coming forward, but every man who is accused is not drug through the mud without real cause/evidence. If women aren't expected to come forward with the evidence when it can be preserved, then what exactly is the expectation? What should we do to protect men from false accusations? I'm not for slut shaming, but I am also not going to act like there aren't some women out there intentionally making false allegations. There are also women who are "talked into" believing they were sexually assaulted, even if they didn't originally think they were. Again, sometimes correct, sometimes not. That's my point. I'm worried about this pendulum swinging too far the other direction.
I am honestly and sincerely confused and distressed. I don't want to see falsely accused nor do I want to see sexual predictors running free. What is the answer? Where can we find balance? I also don't want to be made to feel like I hate women because I jump on the "women don't make false allegations" bandwagon. I just can't ride that train. I have seen with my own eyes that there are women who use threats of rape and sexual assault/harassment as dangerous weapons.
I just don't know.
How did you feel about the George Will's piece? http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/george-will-college-become-the-victims-of-progressivism/2014/06/06/e90e73b4-eb50-11e3-9f5c-9075d5508f0a_story.html This post seems aligned with several of his points. I just cannot imagine holding that POV.
edited to add:
Rape kit backlog: http://nation.time.com/2013/09/07/the-dark-side-of-clearing-americas-rape-kit-backlog/
It is unfortunate that there isn't always absolutely indisputable evidence in these cases. That's the nature of sex assault. Unfortunately there will be a substantial percent of cases where there is no "evidence" that will seemingly satisfy those who want rock solid proof.
If one is raped in a date rape situation what type of evidence is "enough" in these cases? Seriously, what would be adequate to believe an accuser? I'm not talking about a conviction, but to believe that the accuser is "legit" enough in her accusation to pass your test?
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I'd go straight to the 750 set. You can keep the other set for spare parts.
We did this years ago. No regrets.
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I can't believe the tone of this thread either, TBH.
Have people been following the issue of sex assault reporting on campuses? My husband refused to donate to his university's alumni giving fund this year over his concern regarding the handling of sexual assault victims on campus.
Women, in this day in age, are still put in an abhorrent position when they name their accusers on many university campuses. My (Jesuit) university came under fire after I was there in the late 90s through 01 for sweeping reporting of crimes under the rug. 13-14 years later, the same thing is still going on campuses all over the US.
Look at Princeton, UNC, etc. and their handling of sexual assaults on campus. Is it any wonder women are still hesitant to report crimes against them? "Proof" is not as easily produced as people seem to suggest here, and then add in the humiliating process these women must go through to report a rape on campus.
There have been several reports in the news again about women being roofied at fraternity parties, including a recent case at Berkeley. And yet campuses are still handling or very recently handled sex assaults in a way that is more akin to how they handle cheating on an exam (honor court, etc.).
Look at the handling of these cases, and it is no wonder sex crimes go under-reported on campus. The women under-reporting far outnumber (far outnumber!!!) the number of men falsely accused. And they've been systematically failed, blamed, had the seriousness of their assault minimized, etc. for years. I don't feel like much has changed since I attended college in the range of 15-20 years ago. Then think back to the time frame where BC was allegedly committing several of these crimes, think of the power and influence he wielded, etc. and it is no wonder that many of these women are only coming forward now.
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/a-rape-on-campus-20141119?page=3 (some quotes include swearing)
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/07/us/north-carolina-chapel-hill-investigation/ (check the quote from the female administrator out. Still blaming victims in 2014?)
http://www.wncn.com/story/21797252/unc-suspending-honor-court-proceeding
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We cut down our trees, and if we put it up that soon it would be totally dried out by Christmas. We usually go get our tree the second weekend in December. But I do start putting out some decorations like snowglobes and such the weekend after Thanksgiving, and DH puts the lights up on the house that weekend normally, although this year he is taking DD backpacking that weekend so we will probably have to put it off. DH also has a rule that we can't do Christmas music until he has had his pumpkin pie after Thanksgiving dinner, so normally on the way home from wherever we eat that year. The kids really look forward to it.
We cut our own, and I've found as long as we cut them ourselves, they last through the holiday without any major drying out. I would not put up a precut tree that early ever, however.
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I hate that we live in a culture where a woman can say "he did this bad thing to me 40 years ago and the only proof is my testimony" and a man can lose his reputation and his livelihood. How can a man defend himself against these allegations??
In your estimation, how often does that happen as compared to those who never report the crimes committed against them?
FWIW, I have four brothers. I understand how serious such an allegation can be a person's career, reputation, etc. I think that the scales here tip overwhelmingly toward women under reporting crimes against them vs. fabricating a crime for attention, revenge, a financial settlement, etc.
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We often go the day or weekend after Thankgiving to get a live tree from a cut your own type of farm. While lots of people are out doing Black Friday shopping, we get our tree and put the lights up, then spend the rest of the weekend finishing it off with the rest of the decorations. We typically get a 10-11 ft tree, so it is a process.
We have multiple non Christmas and Christmas themed events in December (birthdays, performances, etc) that tie up our weekends, so getting the tree up right after Thanksgiving just seems to work well for us.
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Why are we so quick to condemn, when we don't know the facts? The charges brought against him decades ago were disproven. They're now resurfacing, but it's the same old charges that were dropped back then. Restating them doesn't make them true.
Many women wouldn't hesitate to fabricate such a story, claiming something that happened 40 years ago, in order to cash in on a wealthy person's fortune, or to sell a book. People are always trying to get something for nothing.
The Cosby Show was funny because it rang true. I learned a lot from that show, and wouldn't hesitate to let my kids watch it. I'm not going to throw out years of quality work because some model is telling stories, at least not until I know they were true.
If he really did those horrible things, then I'll be terribly disappointed. But I'm not going to judge him until I know he's guilty.
The vast majority of these women have not sought nor received a penny from Bill Cosby, and the statute of limitations has expired as far as I know.
I understand people are concerned that we don't have a conviction, but the fact that these women are not settling for money and the statute of limitations has expired is quite concerning. I think their accusations should be taken seriously.
I disagree with your assertion that "many women wouldn't hesitate to fabricate such a story." I also disagree that "people are always trying to get something for nothing."
Should we ever believe accusers who don't have cold, hard evidence? There are women everywhere who have been assaulted or were assaulted as children but don't have hard evidence on their side. Should they remain mum?
FWIW, I've been a long time fan of the Cosby Show, and have very mixed feelings about how to handle it from this point on. It doesn't seem as "funny" to me when I'm thinking about Bill Cosby potentially having committed serious crimes.
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I don't attend a lot of the large ones, but have attended and enjoyed the Royal Fireworks Press conference in Valley Forge, PA, and found it worthwhile. They don't necessarily do it annually and I think this past year it was canceled. I haven't checked to see if they have an updated schedule. That one is small but high quality IMO.
I used to attend CHAP (Christian Homeschool Assoc of Pennsylvania cited upthread) solely for the used curriculum sale, but this past year they had speakers I found interesting (SWB!), so I was quite happy to actually attend some talks.
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I plan to discuss the pros and cons of any profession they consider, and share my own experience as someone who went to school, got a master's degree, and didn't work that many years before becoming a SAHM. It was not something I ever thought I would have desired. The cost of my program has doubled in the time since I graduated (2001), and while it is still a very employable field (physical therapy), it intimidates me to think of tuition being what it is now. My program would now come in at just under 300K with room and board. When I attended, it was about 125K start to finish for a 5 year master's degree (bachelor's and master's degrees completed in 4.5 years and then a semester of additional internships).
My husband is a chemist, so his graduate school was supported via teaching and research assistant positions, and he also received a stipend to cover some of our living expenses. He and I attended a decent but not stellar high school where neither of us realized such a scenario was even an option. I consider our kids fortunate in that they will know much more about navigating these things.
DH and I feel strongly that whatever they pick, they should be networking, engaging in student-faculty research whenever possible, participating in their professional organization's meetings and activities, attempting to publish, etc. as undergrads. I want them to spend time in high school with mentors, and to learn the pros and cons of the professions they are considering. I spent time volunteering in an outpatient physical therapy clinic when I was high school, had observation time with the school physical therapist written into a gIEP in high school, etc. Volunteer and observation hrs were necessary to even apply in my major, but I would strongly, strongly encourage my kids to engage in similar activity no matter what their major. I think it is tremendously helpful to hear the pros and cons of a given profession from the POV of a non parent who works in the field. I'd like them to talk to several people practicing that current career, because they may or may not hear similar things about the positives and negatives of the field, as well as potential changes that are on the horizon.
We hope to help them identify their strengths and match those to fields that interest them. I might encourage a dual major if one choice is less employable. I want them to understand the requirements of their profession in terms of typical work week, salary, etc. so they can make better decisions about any educational expenses they might incur. But what I really want is for them to spend time with people in the fields that interest them, and grasping what they may be up against. I think that's more meaningful than hearing it from mom and dad.
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In 4th we added in some Life of Fred along with Singapore 4 and 5. Fractions, Decimals, and percents, Physics, and Pre Algebra with Bio. I'm not the biggest fan of Fred, but DS likes having a different format to work through than Singapore and will mostly self teach from Fred with just support from me. We dabbled a little in Jacob's and AOPS, but I decided to wait a little longer. In 5th, he's doing AOPS pre algebra and it is going well.
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Why do you want adjustable temperature? I know that there are some specialist teas that recommend different temperatures, but I've not bothered to be too picky about that....
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I am a morning coffee drinker, but I drink a LOT of tea too. I did attempt to use the correct temps with some of my nicer teas in the past. I guess I should be willing to just let that go. Right now I'm drinking mostly sachets of teas, but I am considering placing a loose leaf order. In my last hometown, I had a fabulous tea lady locally, so always bought from her.
Do the electric kettles that are glass leak over time? I think on chowhound I had read that some people have experienced this and prefer ceramic as a result.
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Can I piggyback? I hope I'm not being rude . I would like an electric kettle. I think I want adjustable temp, and I would like no or very minimal plastic. Any tea drinkers use an electric kettle that they could recommend? I look and then get decision paralysis as it seems like it is hard to tick off all of my boxes.
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For the holidays, mostly online. I use the Lightning Deals to buy things for friends' kids, nieces, nephews, etc. I am choosy about what I pick, but there are usually some great Lightning Deal options, and then it is easy to have it shipped directly to the recipient. I send some things to DH's work. They usually set up a "wrapping room" for employees because so many people ship stuff to the office, so sometimes DH will wrap there or brings stuff home in the trunk of his car.
I like supporting local businesses but for the holidays, convenience often wins out for me.
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After a rough string of family being discourteous, etc. the last few years, I am over it. We usually host for 15-20, and this year I'm really tempted to just stick to our little family of 5.
Last year my oven died two days before Thanksgiving, and I spent the day before driving 1.25 hrs each way to pick up a part. DH and my dad installed it, and shorted out the electronics (both are experienced with electronics so it wasn't crazy to have them attempt it). That was fun. I ended up using the microwave, range, a roaster, and bought a toaster oven.
This year I'm just feeling over it!
Talk to me about dealing with crutches
in The Chat Board
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An upper body "bike" would be an option for cardio. There are smaller, portable ones. I'm not sure if you have access to a retailer that sells them.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this.