cin
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Posts posted by cin
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He has the most beautiful eyes!!! He's cute elsewhere too, but his eyes just struck me in the 1st picture!
And you are one GORGEOUS gramma! By the time I'm a gramma, I'll be rocking and knitting on the front porch. But I started LATE.
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I make my bed before I leave the bedroom every.single.morning. To me, it's part of basic homekeeping. Also, I spent some good money on the bed itself, and bedding, and curtains, and paint, and accessories...why would I want to leave the bed unmade?
Ellie, you would make such a good mentor for young married girls. I wish you lived closer, I'd visit you often just to observe what you do in your house. I had to learn it all on my own and at 47, I've about given up. :tongue_smilie:
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My girls have Asian Hair. Very thick. Very fine. Very Black. I'll probably buy some next time I'm at Target and see how they hold.
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And what does this have to do with the price of beans?
Just because a child is adoptive, you cannot assume they have RAD.
Just because parents are accused of abusing an adoptive child you cannot assume they are innocent because the child is lying.
In this case, CPS received a tip. They went to the home with the sheriff's office. They found enough reason to get an order to remove the child. After additional investigation (roughly 6 weeks after the first visit), it was determined evidence was found to arrest the parents for abuse.
Why is RAD even part of this discussion?
Well, actually it has nothing to do with the price of beans. But it DOES explain WHY some of us were not willing to immediately jump on the 'horrible parents' wagon. Some of us have personal experience with RAD, either through our own adoptions, or those in our circles.
The girl is 15, and was adopted in 2007, which means she was adopted around 10 yrs. RAD is more common and tends to be more severe in children who are older when they are adopted. It does not mean that she IS RAD, just that the odds are higher. It does not mean that she is lying, it just left some of us with a bit of doubt. For that matter, Innocence Project proves that just because charges were filed or someone has been arrested does not mean that they are guilty.
We didn't say that she DID have RAD, we just took it into consideration when we read the article. And our opinions were not well-received, so I thought I'd let you and others know WHY we had those opinions.
:leaving:
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I went through several sets before I finally got my Le Creuset. All my pots and pans are Creuset. TJ Maxx and Homegoods had an influx several years ago and I hit every one in the city ;) I also have 3 non-stick skillets; small, medium, and large.
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In addition, claiming that it is "just as likely" that parents charged with serious abuse are being victimized by their children is out of line, and effectively claiming that abuse allegations are lies close to 50% of the time.
ChocolateReign, have you ever been around a family with a RAD child? Like many other psychiatric disorders, there is a spectrum, so not all children exhibit all the symptoms. But here is a list.
Symptoms, Causes and Research
Symptoms
•Intense control battles, very bossy and argumentative; defiance and anger
•Resists affection on parental terms
•Lack of eye contact, especially with parents - will look into your eyes when lying
•Manipulative - superficially charming and engaging
•Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers
•Poor peer relationships
•Steals
•Lies about the obvious
•Lack of conscience - shows no remorse
•Destructive to property, self and/or others
•Lack of impulse control
•Hypervigilant/Hyperactive
•Learning lags/delays
•Speech and language problems
•Incessant chatter and/or questions
•Inappropriately demanding and/or clingy
•Food issues - hordes, gorges, refuses to eat, eats strange things, hides food
•Fascinated with fire, blood, gore, weapons, evil
•Very concerned about tiny hurts but brushes off big hurts
•Parents appear hostile and angry
•The child was neglected and/or physically abused in the first three years of life
These are the reasons that some of us don't take stories about adoptive children being abused at face value. Especially if the child is adopted when they are older.
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Denise, as a fellow adoptive parent, I understand exactly where you were coming from. I have seen situations that would make some boardies' hair curl. And no, I won't share them. That would definitely send the moderator into overtime! When a story has an older adoptee involved, ANYTHING is possible. Even if the parents are determined to be guilty, I will still have a small percentage of doubt. Some of those kids have 2 personalities (not technically). They clean up and can come across SO believable. The fact that they homeschool adds more doubt for me. Homeschoolers can be targets for neighbors and CPS. I'm not saying that they always are, but if you get the wrong CPS worker, you're doomed.
In this particular situation, I have not read all the links, so I can't form an opinion yet. I just wanted to let you know, Denise, that I understand what you were saying.
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My best one was I spent two years at 47. Completely skipped 46. About a week before my real 47th birthday, someone asked how old I was, going to be 48. Dh had to break it to me -- 47 again!:lol:
Seriously, glad to know its happening to others. I was starting to wonder if I should be concerned.
OMG! I did the exact same thing! Even down to skipping 46!!!!
Yes. I forgot where reverse was on my stick shift, and kept trying to put it bottom right. It is top left.I was working at a pre-school and the supervisor was a witch. It was an extremely stressful job. EXTREMELY. Coming home one afternoon, it was raining, and I couldn't, for the life of me, remember where the windshield wipers were in the car. (They were off the steering wheel, but behind the center horn thing). A few days later I quit.
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I've been doing that for years. Everyone around here knows that the zip-zip is the alternate word for the food processor.
Thingamajig is the big word over here. I'm 47 and I've noticed it really bad the past 3-4 years. I do believe it has to do with having children. I feel constantly tired and my life is a fill in the blank. My kids know that when I say...'You. Do what you're suppose to do" Not to argue, because they usually know what they are suppose to be doing.
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I just want to point out that one of my best friend's neighbor is the grandmother to adopted children. The girl first cried out rape at 11 or 12 or something like that, and the child was IMMEDIATELY removed from the home. She was returned when the reports proved to be false. She then cried out rape by her FATHER, and by this time three more adooted siblings were in the home. ALL four kids were immediately removed and remained away for months during the investigation. Again, the reports were false, far too many inconsistencies, and the girl finally admitted to the lie.
The three younger siblings never fully recovered. Neither did the parents. The oldest was kicked out at 18 years of age and the family tries to function normally now but they will never be normal again.
If you are on the online adoption support groups, you will see that this is all too common. :sad:
As sad as this is, Denise, thanks for posting. I was thinking along these lines too, when I read that she was adopted as a much older child. Unfortunately, these things are not uncommon. And people go in feeling like they will be the savior, and treated with gratitude, and it just doesn't happen.
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Belly Bands
These are for those male dogs with incontinence problems. Belly bands are made to prevent dogs from marking their territory when out and about. These belly bands are not intended to absorb pee, but to inhibit peeing. For urine absorption, just add a panty liner or tissue. Belly bands provide temporary aid to dogs with incontinence problems.Yuck.
The menstrual pad probably was the liner. Even if it was 'just pee', that's just WEIRD.:svengo::eek::ack2:
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May I say one more thing about what Dobela said? SOOOO many times, the file is just not correct (on top of being woefully incomplete).
True. And in addition, there may be issues that have not yet surfaced. In our case, dd was 12 mos, so a lot of her stuff hadn't really surfaced yet. She was delayed in walking, but we figured that was because of a broken leg. (That was one bone we were told about...long story that I won't go into). As it turns out, that was just one of many things that pointed to problems down the road.
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Sounds like my dd. The house could cave in around her and if she's watching tv, reading or playing her game, she would not notice. PPD-NOS
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When I was younger, I used the OB tampon. There is no applicator, so your hands are more in control of what you're doing. I used just a tad of vaseline on the top of the tampon. I didn't know about 'personal' lubricants at the time.:o
FTR, my mother thought I was a tramp for using tampons before I was married. :glare:
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I forgot to add that DH and I are both only children and all the grandparents are gone. We do see one of his cousins once a year, and they have a little girl. So the big family get togethers are not there either.
We MIGHT have neighbors when we move, that is an unknown, but something that we are taking into account. During the school year the girls do go to a coop 1 day a week. But that only meets 24 times a year.
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First off, this is NOT a 'homeschoolers don't get socialized' thread.
DH is a MAJOR introvert. I do okay in situations when I know the people, but I'm not good at introducing myself and starting conversation with strangers.
We went to a pool party this weekend. Our kids play with their kids, but we've never really met. (live 4 or 5 houses down). Our kids played all evening with all the other kids, but DH and I knew nobody and we sat at the table and sort of had a date night while everyone else wandered and socialized. They knew other people there.
I have friends, but I don't have a clique that I hang with. So my kids aren't with the same group of kids on a regular, or even semi-regular basis. They don't get invited to birthday parties, even as a reciprocal invitation with the kids they invite to THEIR party.
Now, we're talking about moving 'out to the country.' We are talking 5 acres, and a few animals. But there won't be any neighbors to play with.
What adds to my concern is the fact that oldest DD is aspie. Younger DD is starting to pick up some of her sister's behaviors, and she's with other kids periodically.
FWIW, I would LOVE to have a BFF, a person who I can talk to any time I need to, but it just hasn't happened.
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But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.
Martha, this is a good point, and if there is joint custody, then the judge, or whoever, has determined that the father is not 'Bad" for the child. Mom may very well do things that dad thinks is nuts.
Given the facts that are slowly coming to life about the parents' relationship, I would say let it go. Children need both parents in their lives. When you have the child, parent your way. Load the child up with healthy foods. And unless it is a true safety issue, let dad parent the way he chooses. In addition to needing both parents, they need minimal conflict between those parents.
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The only thing he has is a teensy touch of Aspergers, and a few minor learning disabilities to go along with it. But plenty of bio kids have that, so we don't look at it as an "adoption only" thing.
Elinor, I agree with you, birth children can have lots of disorders too. I attribute my daughter's aspie/executive skills dysfunction and anxiety/depression to her adoption, only because of the background of our story, which I will share briefly here.
I was in 7 foster homes before I was placed permanently at 18 mos. I've always been disorganized and 'lazy'. I have depression and anxiety. My teen years were horrible. basically because we had me, with ADD (diagnosed much later) and my mom-OCD. Plus depression wasn't all that known then.
My daughter had 6 care-givers in 6 mos. And she is JUST. LIKE. ME. God knew she needed someone who could see, understand, and address her problems.
I tell myself every so often that it's not the adoption, anyone can have asperger's. But when I look at our facts, quite honestly, I get freaked out.
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I have several concerns regarding soda for babies. First, the teeth. Second, the empty calories. Even giving a baby water can fill up their bellies and keep them from getting essential nutrients. And finally, I always hated it when my friend would give her baby soda with dinner and then complain about him not going to sleep 2 or 3 hours later.:001_huh: He just drank 8 oz of caffeinated soda?!!
The fact that it is dad though, raises a whole 'nuther issue. A wise lady told me, right before we brought DD home, that if I complain about the little things that DH does with/for DD, then he might just back out and do nothing. And I have seen this happen. Men get criticized and knocked down to the point that they feel they can't do anything right. So they become absentee fathers.
Now, please understand I am providing this illustration just as that. I am not saying the soda thing is right or wrong. I guess, I would just evaluate how much, how often, and THEN decide if it's a hill to die on. And if it is, I would approach it very gently. He may think he's doing a great thing by sharing with his baby.
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I have seen these situations go both ways. Are you going to foster before you adopt? I would advise that, if at all possible for an older child. You may still have a honeymoon period, but at least you'd have a chance to observe and maybe at least see if he is meeting his developmental milestones. But, to be perfectly honest, In adoption any age is risky, unless they hand the baby to you right at delivery. Our oldest was adopted when she was 12 mos, and we later found out she was abused. Terribly. And we have the emotional turmoil to prove it. Depression, anxiety, executive skills dysfunction, and PDD-NOS, or extremely mild aspie. Our second was taken care of extremely well, and is a normal, emotionally healthy 8 yr old. Well, she was Not sure how she'll turn out growing up with big sis.
I only tell you this so you will be going in with your eyes open. That doesn't mean that it won't or can't work. Piper is in counseling and Vision therapy, and has been in OT for several years. She has come a LONG way, but I think she will always be quirky and on anti-depressants.
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:smilielol5:
This is my favorite one. I think because the other laughing ones are use so much and this one is just a different laughing one.
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We have Highlander hybrid. It doesn't get INREDIBLE mileage (Dh drives a prius and avgs 45, so I'm spoiled a bit) but we get 20-25 mpg. I know they make Highlander with a third seat, but I don't know if they make hybrids with the 3rd seat.
Someone else mentioned station wagons. I had 2 and I LOVED them. One was a Subaru outback, an earlier model when they still looked like station wagons and not mini-SUVs. I LOVED that car. I would say, hands down, that was my favorite car. If they ever come out with a hybrid, I am on that like.....well, as MIL use to say like flies on poop.
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We are hoping to move in the next year, so this is great! I'm getting a lot of conversation starters for DH and myself. ;)
I never even thought to check for sex offenders!
And one thing for us, that I haven't seen mentioned, but I haven't thoroughly red through everything yet,
We will not buy a house that DOES NOT HAVE GAS. I HATE electric stoves. Plus, during the recent power outages, we were still able to get a hot shower (gas hot water heater) AND, I could still cook for the family. Gas stove and a candle lighter.
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backs to a busy road. BTDT. :glare: When realtors tell you it sounds like the ocean, or that you will tune it out over time, they may be mistaken. :glare:
We back up to the expressway. We didn't really notice it when we moved in. We started noticing it when our kids couldn't hear us in the backyard. About 12 years later.
A few other things that we must have:
first floor master (or ranch)
Laundry room on the main floor
Nice size front porch
and a lot of what other people have already stated; 4 bedrooms, basement, yard, NO HOA, 2 car garage, and a nicely equipped kitchen.
If you've made the switch to a laser printer
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I have an HP scanner/fax/laser printer. The cartridges are about $60, but they print TONS. I would say forever, but when you print workbooks, well, not quite forever.
GH won a dell color laser so I don't have to worry about color printing, but I RARELY use it. But when I do, it prints great. And pretty fast too.
DH use to work with printers a lot, and he won't buy anything but HP. I don't know why, I just know that that is the rule. :mellow: