JumpyTheFrog
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Posts posted by JumpyTheFrog
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8 minutes ago, Quill said:
Jumpy, here is an excerpt from the book, The Psychology of Pandemics…I think the author is Steven Taylor? I’ll have to verify that for correct attribution:
Both styles have their shortcomings as coping strategies. Although blunting is generally associated with less health-related worry and distress, blunters are at risk for ignoring important health-related threats and failing to take precautionary measures (Miller, 1996). Monitors, compared to blunters, tend to perceive a given health threat as riskier and more dangerous and tend to be more vulnerable to everyday stress, especially when they perceive that their health is threatened (Miller et al., 2005).
Does your pandemic blunter also seem to be a blunter about other more everyday things? I am definitely the monitor in everyday life, and it shows with my higher stress level and insomnia. My blunter has less stress about everything. However, I often feel like the blunter can get away with it because I am the one trying to prep for things like when the blunter's special needs sibling has to move in with us eventually, etc. The blunter, however, seems to keep the stress level lower (and have better sleep!) by ignoring problems and assuming they will just go away. (For example: assuming that said sibling won't outlive their parents.)
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4 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:
Would they? That sounds like a lot more work.
It probably is, but it seems fair to assume that they can't afford fertilizer either. I would also guess that letting the land go fallow isn't practiced either.
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Did you get the impression that even if someone offered the information about improving farming practices the people would be offended at outsiders trying to educate them?
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8 hours ago, Quill said:
In the Psychology of Pandemics book, the author talks about “monitors” and “blunters.” I’m definitely more in the monitor category; he is more the blunter. Blunters are more likely to minimize the risk, dismiss the concerns, etc. So I very much see that mindset there.
Can you tell us more about Blunters? It sounds like I have one in my household. I don't think anything short of an immediate family member ending up in the hospital will get through to this person. It doesn't help that this person's dad is even worse, still spouting that "It's just the flu!"
ETA: This person also refuses to mask unless at a medical facility. This person also won't make the unvaccinated kids mask where required (except for medical facilities), which forces me to feel stuck picking battles about when to make them do it.
ETA2: Person's dad was also diagnosed with (very treatable) prostate cancer recently. I suggested getting vaccinated to help protect his dad. Person responded that since the dad didn't care to get vaccinated, why do it to protect him? Suggesting vaccination to help protect my vaccinated, very obese, diabetic dad was also not received well.
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18 minutes ago, HS Mom in NC said:
I'm seriously considering getting a new email address and only giving it to a select few on an absolutely need to know basis.
Here's what I set up about ten years ago. It has worked wonderfully: Email address 1 is for actual people, notifications from medical providers, and notifications for sports teams and activities. All emails from my church are automatically put into one folder.
Email address 2 is the one I use anytime I buy anything, for any sort of newsletter or other email list I'm on, for online class info for my kids, and for all utilities, banking, etc. I regularly go through and unsubscribe from things I'm no longer interested in. Gmail does a good job sorting emails into regular, promotions, social, and spam.
I highly recommend the two email address system. It keeps my "real" email address from being overrun by junk.
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Just calling the doctor's office is a pain because I have to listen to:
- If this is a life threatening emergency blah blah blah.
- Our address is blah blah blah.
- Vaccinating against Covid is something we take seriously. For more information blah blah blah.
- For Family Medicine press x.
- Thank you for calling XYZ Family Medicine. Our fax number is blah blah blah.
- We take Covid vaccinations seriously...
- To schedule an appointment press x.
Something like all that just to possibly wait on hold to schedule an appointment! This is because MyChart only lists some of the open appointments. I had to call to schedule for February because MyChart doesn't show that far in the future.
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Do you think life today requires more executive function and administrative skills than it did in the past? For example, my husband needed a preauthorization for a prescription. It took two weeks of follow-up calls before he finally got the medicine. I do most of the administrative stuff in our house and he was frustrated with how many calls and how much times was spent on hold just to get people to do their jobs.
I have above average executive function and administrative skills, but I'm currently annoyed at how many things I've had or need to take care of in the realm of making doctor appointments, finding goalies for my soccer teams, choosing health insurance for next year, end of year tax planning, updating my computer, phone, and tablet, etc, etc. I have to think that people less skilled in this area and/or people who work full-time out of the house must be drowning.
I'm not really looking for advice, just more for commiseration. What ever happened to the 20 hour week some economists predicted a few generations ago?
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Has anyone had success in increasing the cardio endurance (such as running) in their allergy-prone and/or asthmatic kids? DS has mildish exercise-induced asthma caused by allergies. DS did years of competitive gymnastics and now is doing ninja, so he exercises a lot, but his cardio is lousy. For now, I'm having him jog at 5 mph for 2 minutes, rest, then 2 more minutes. It's taken about 2-3 weeks to get to this. He says it's getting easier, but I know his progress is and probably will be slower than for most people.
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I live in an area where soccer is very popular, even for adults. Unfortunately, my town only has an adult league in the summer, and they remove or lock up all the soccer goals once the fall kids rec season is over until their spring season. The next town over doesn't have an adult league, but they do have a fenced-in artificial turf fields, and they leave the soccer and lacrosse goals out all year. I play pick-up soccer there year round with a group that usually has 25-35 players show up four days per week. However, various non-town run soccer leagues book the fields at this and another even bigger park most evenings. For example, this week the fields are reserved Monday-Thursday from 5-9:30 pm (closing time). On Friday they are reserved from 5-9, leaving only 30 minutes of free play. Saturday they are reserved 9am-6pm, and then they close at 8pm (instead of 9:30). Sunday they are reserved from 8am-4pm, with free play from 4-8pm. (Yesterday there was a tournament, and then they decided to close early rather than turn on the lights, so we could only play from 4:30-5:30, rather than 6-7:30 like usual.)
The park used to close at 9pm, and about a year ago the leader of the pick-up group (who has been running it for 10+ years) managed to convince the park department that only having free play from 8:30-9pm on week nights wasn't fair to adults. They agreed to stay open until 9:30 instead, and the park has been heavily used during that time. Often there are 3-6 different games going.
One of the other players was talking about a new park being built two towns over. It will be another nice one with lights and artificial turf. However, the rumor is that a different soccer league has some contract with the town. The tax payers in each of these towns voted to borrow money to build them, yet it looks like once again a private league is likely to hog the use of the new park.
I don't have a problem with town run leagues getting first dibs on field reservations. However, does it seem fair to allow private leagues to hog the field time? What would be a fair system? It seems to me that if tax payers are spending the big bucks on the fields then the private leagues should be limited to only renting them for half of prime hours at most.
I suppose an analogous situation would be if private tutoring companies were allowed to rent all the tables in libraries for most of the prime hours, leaving few seats available for regular patrons.
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It sounds like your intended help has made it easier for her to enable her own adult kids.
Based on what I've heard, it would be less stressful to drive down the highway and toss $20 bills out the window than to own a boat. Your situation sounds worse than owning a boat.
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2 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said:
Two of the people who have left recently have gone to the same company, where they are getting paid boatloads more money. So, on a whim the day I felt really frustrated, I applied to the same company. Earlier this week, they reached out about a possible fit. I did the phone screen yesterday and have been moved onto the next round of interviews. The role sounds like one for which I am well qualified and which I would like as much as what I do now. And the company has defined paths for career growth.
The recruiter I spoke to disclosed the salary this role would offer, which is, indeed, over 40% more than I currently make. The role would offer other advantages, including a hybrid work schedule (split between home and office), which would be significantly better for my mental health that the 100% remote situation I have now. The benefits are excellent, and the employee reviews on Glassdoor and similar sites are very positive.
Let's simplify things:
- The new job would offer 40% more, without even negotiating.
- The new job has a hybrid schedule that is better for your mental health.
- The benefits would be better.
- Employees like working there.
- You already know people working there, so you could pump them for information that nobody else would tell you otherwise.
- Your current employer is content to underpay everyone, while pretending they "hope" to fix it.
- The new job is work you like.
- The current employer has other unspecified problem.
Changing jobs sounds like a no-brainer to me. Considering you were out of the work force for a long time, could it be you feel you owe your current employer more than the work they have paid you to do?
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44 minutes ago, Jenny in Florida said:
Because I took a "break" of almost two decades to raise my kids, I am in the odd position of attempting to build a career that will last me only another 10-12 years, and I don't want to spend that time hopping from employer to employer.
Moving to a job with a significant raise doesn't obligate you to continue to do so for the next 10-12 years. Even a one time jump in salary will help your financial situation. Would you advise your daughter to just settle for a lower salary when another job that looks good was offering more?
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Social Security is calculated on your highest paid 35 years of work. If you take the job, each year left you have in your career will have your new, higher wage replace a year with a lower wage (or a zero if you haven't worked for 35 years) in the calculation.
(All of this ignores being able to claim half a spouse's Social Security instead of taking your own.)
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If your current company wanted to give you a raise they would have already. You already know they aren't serious about raising your pay. The new job sounds like it's worth serious consideration. You don't owe loyalty to a company who has been underpaying its employees.
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Three days ago DS moved up from 10 to 15 mg. Can doses that are too high make people irritable? He's still much happier than he was before treatment, but yesterday and today seems to be more irritable with me than on 10 mg.
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We live in a town that has a small area in another more rural county. Our health insurance (four people) would be an extra $500 per month if we lived in that county. (I know because I once selected the other county when getting a quote because I wondered if it would be cheaper.)
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On 8/24/2021 at 1:48 PM, cintinative said:
It's probably buried.
Thanks for posting this. I just went to use the online access from Lamppost and had the same problem as a previous poster. I came here because I was sure you had already answered this question for us.
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Is your nephew a second foster child, or is he the one we've been hearing about this whole time?
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So far DS doesn't seem to have a rebound effect. It just seems like about 3:30 he suddenly has trouble with school, such as remembering Spanish words that weren't giving him any trouble an hour earlier. His behavior is still much improved for the rest of the day.
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If you kid takes the extended release version, does it seem to wear off gradually or suddenly?
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DS15 has been on 10 mg extended release generic Adderall for a week, and it has been amazing! He is so much happier and more cooperative. I’d say the ODD behavior is 95% better. He is getting his school done much faster, isn’t irritable on and off all day, and doesn’t yell at me on and off all day. He can also walk by his younger brother without touching or pestering him.
He didn’t want treatment, and at first refused to take his pill. Now he is down to a mere frowny look. The prescribing PCP wants us to note when it seems to wear off. DS says it isn’t “doing anything,” but the improvement is undeniable. (I think he just doesn’t want to admit it is helping.) He takes it around 9:30-10 am, and it seems like he starts having more trouble with school around 3:30pm. His behavior is much improved all day.
We have a follow-up appointment in a few weeks. How do we know when we’ve hit the ideal dose?
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I find myself thinking things like, "Why would anyone want a large family? What if they ended up with 2+ difficult or special needs kids?" Fortunately our second child is very different and serves as a reminder that we aren't total failures as parents.
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5 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:
He made me feel like a failure every day.
I wouldn't say I feel like a failure every day, but it is regular enough. Two weeks ago DH finally agreed to letting DS15 try medication for his ADHD. Waiting for the doctor's appointment Monday to get a prescription feels a little like waiting for a life raft floating toward me to arrive.
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If you have a child that is very difficult due to ASD, ADHD, or other various problems, do you ever have a tendency to feel like you "should have known" that saying XYZ would lead to them throwing a fit or starting an argument? How do you avoid blaming yourself for them getting worked up over something a normal kid wouldn't get so upset over?
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If I got a new vehicle
in The Chat Board
Posted
I'm pretty sure Corolla's have gotten much bigger over the last twenty years. I think they went from being classified as compact to intermediate. At least car rental places call them intermediate!