[Saving seats-rude or just my pet-peeve??]

we don't do it. we all go early enough to get a seat. but that's just us.

[What if this was the last Christmas you would spend with your family?]

I have been thinking about this a lot.

 

In September my grandmother was fighting colon cancer, and was told to stop treatment. She was given 6 months to live. We were devastated. But we decided that on her birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas we would go all out, as it would be her last.

 

Well, she died a week later on Sept. 29th. :sad::sad:

 

Not only was it just so hard, because it was such a short time from when she was diagnosed (Aug 15th), but also because she was the heart of our family. Without her, we are lost. The holidays are just not the same, and I am having a hard time believing that they will ever be. And all I keep thinking of is the past year and all the time I should have spent with her, and how the last time I was with her..I didn't know it was going to be the last time...and what I would do different. It is just so, so hard.

 

I do know that I have to take something from this experience, and to try to enjoy more of the day-to-day things with my family, and to make memories whenever I can. Because we truly never know how long we will all be here.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: i am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug:

[how would you feel. . .]

I would ask her to take it down. I would not even want a photo of just myself from the wedding, if we were no longer married. Maybe give her a nice portrait of yourself and your daughter she can put in it's place.

 

thanks. and i wish it could be so simple. she'd just add it to the wall WITH the other photos. and the one just of me, that one is in a bedroom. :confused:

 

for the record, there are no wedding photos up in my home, even the ones of just me or me with my parents. i will be keeping them for family history.

[how would you feel. . .]

:) THIS is SO the place to ask and learn.

 

oh, i totally agree! :D

[how would you feel. . .]

My mom HAD a family portrait with my 'ex' (and father of my two older dds) on her wall -- I know that she loved the photo b/c my father is in it -- but ex-h is pretty much right up there or down there with the poster who described a quite unsavory individual -- so, yes, I wanted him out of the photo. My sister took the portrait to someone who removed him from the photo.

I had dh's sister in law removed from our wedding photos -- I despise her -- she is evil (you will have to trust me on this) -- there were quite a few family photos taken at our wedding - she wore a bright red dress -- it was easy for the photographer to find her and get rid of her. MIL never asked for photos from the wedding - she had her brothers and sisters taking photos so she put together an album of her own -- my family despises this woman as well so they were fine with her not being in the photos. As things go - now, FINALLY, dh's brother and she (16 yrs later) are divorcing.

 

thanks for sharing. this never would have occurred to me.

oh the things i learn here! :001_smile:

[how would you feel. . .]

I would just say, "I don't know." If he asked again, I would say, "I'm really not sure!" If he asked again I would say, "what do you think?" That might bring up a discussion where I would probably mostly nod my head and say, "interesting!" :D

 

this child is almost grown. she just brought up something i'd never even thought of until then. thanks for your thoughts!

[Should I stay or should I go?]

i would move back with the children for many of the reasons already given. best wishes!

[how would you feel. . .]

thanks for all your thoughts.

i understand the family history thing. i don't think she should burn them or anything, but it would be nice if she would move them out of the common areas. and my child also asked why there are no pictures of my db's first wife. i didn't ask about that.

this won't be any kind of issue for us. i was just curious about what others have experienced. it's all new to me. . .;) well, except for the "it's her house" thing. i am WELL-aware of that! :D

[how would you feel. . .]

A group shot wouldn't bother me.

 

Just the couple...yeah,I'd switch that for one of just the child.

 

MIL solved this by not having any spouses in the pictures she hung up. FIL told the photographer that it was blood relatives only in the group shots....fortunately the photographer remembered who was paying his bill, so we have full family group shots as well as FILs specials.

 

there is a couple only shot. that one bothers me the most. the one of me alone in my wedding dress, not so much.

[how would you feel. . .]

:) We used to put other people's photos (like family members we liked who couldn't be at an event) over the ex. Then, we started putting famous people instead. Pretty funny stuff! It's amazing how many of our family events Will Smith has attended!

 

guess this would be tasteless since he is my children's father. but believe me, i think this is hilarious! thanks for the laugh!

[how would you feel. . .]

see, i have ignored them. my daughter asked me about it and i asked my mom. i can see both sides of the issue. and believe me, my mom will do what my mom will do. funny thing is that she has no love or respect for my ex. guess that's why i asked when my daughter brought it up.

 

thanks for your thoughts on this.

[how would you feel. . .]

if your mother kept your wedding pictures hanging up and you weren't married anymore? what if one of your children asked you why she did this? what if you asked your mother why and she said it was because there were other people she loved also in the pictures and it was her house and that was why? just curious. . .

[Anyone with the artisan bread in five minutes book? Could I get a recipe from you?]

1 1/2 cups lukewarm water

1 T yeast

2 t kosher salt

5 T sugar

2 T honey

1 egg

3 T canola oil

3 T malt powder

4 1/4 cups bread flour

poppy or sesame seeds

whole wheat flour for peel

:001_smile:

[Can I just say that Divorce is Hell?]

Oh dear. Back at ya! and many :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:for the kiddos.

thank you.

[Can I just say that Divorce is Hell?]

:grouphug:

going through this now myself.

still waiting to get to the "other side". hard to believe that will ever happen. . .i'm afraid i will be going through it for ten more years. . .:grouphug:

i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: for your children.

[Honey Bun Cake - pure evil]

and i hate to break it to you, but this is even good with a gluten-free cake mix. :001_smile:

[What's on your wish list?]

a mother's ring to put on the finger that once held my wedding rings. i want to keep my priorities straight.

[Anyone have dc that love Breyer Horses?]

i agree with the fischer-price. . .we had these until the girls "graduated" to breyer. their legs are jointed. we still have quite the horse collection here, although no one has played in about a year. . .

[Am I being unreasonable??]

all i have to say is: wow, family.

hang in there. i think you did just fine!

poor bil. . .but that is his choice.

:grouphug:

[10 yr old dd's room is a toxic waste dump]

good for you for asking this when she is still only 10 - if you handle it well, she will thank you. as i have perused this thread, i realize that i have NOT handled my 17 yo well who is very similar to how you and others describe their dc. but she is an incredible person despite all that. and she cleans her room on her own from time to time. . .hang in there! :grouphug:

[Which party would you pick?]

i don't post much, but i know that you already know what to do.

sorry you have been put in this predicament for the holidays. be strong and do what you know is right. :grouphug:

[Need Advice.... How to be a SINGLE homeschooling mother???]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

my divorce is *almost* final. hang in there.

i agree with not necessarily expecting him to stay the same person.

and seeking help from your church (i am not in your church but i would encourage you to start there).

wow, my road has been, is, and will be hard, but yours sounds so much more complicated. . .just:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:.

i plan to continue home schooling, but i am not sure how it will all work out. my heart truly goes out to you. :grouphug:

[What do you eat for dinner on the day before Thanksgiving?]

cereal and milk.

[Okay, is or are?? Solve this argument.]

i think your son is correct. $72 is a singular amount.

:001_smile:

[DH is leaving me]

:grouphug:

no good answers. i have been going through a version of this myself over the past couple of years. i agree with consulting an attorney because each states' laws are different. i was able to consult for free, so i hope you have that option.

also, i have had to set aside my differences with my mother in order to survive this crisis. it hasn't been easy, but i had to do it. not all issues in that regard are (or will ever be ;) ) resolved, but things have gone better than i expected.

:grouphug:

this is so hard and i am so sorry. believe me, i wish that no one should have to go through that pain.

:grouphug: