SparrowsNest
-
Posts
307 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by SparrowsNest
-
-
Yes. The % of kids who have been molested by close relatives is easy to find. It is also clear that a high % are never officially reported. In addition I can easily think of a list of people I know personally who have had this happen to them (males and females). And you can't tell by looking at a person whether they have done that, especially if it was something they did only while they were young teens and have not done it since.
And as for the false accusations, there are plenty of documented cases of that, as well as at least one person I know IRL who was falsely accused of rape.
In fact, I can and do believe that both of the following are true at the same time: there are rape victims who never report, and there are rape accusations which are false. Neither the unreported crimes nor the false reports are acceptable. One can (and should) be opposed to both.
That said, I don't consider adult-on-adult rape to be comparable to sibling-on-sibling molestation (touching) where the perp is 14-15yo or younger.
ETA I don't recall saying child sexual abuse statistics are overblown. I do recall saying that about college students because that was backed up by a published study or analysis as well as my personal experience.
I guess you could think of it this way. If we take the lower #, 1/6 children are molested in some form or fashion (either by a stranger or known perp), and I'd wager that one perp has typically multiple victims, but let's say 1 perp averages 5 victims, that's still 1/30 people who have perpetrated against children. If we agree that many incidents are unreported, and if we agree that most of us know more than 30 people, odds are we know someone who has perpetrated against kids. It's just a numbers game. Even if 1 perp averages 10 victims, that's still 1/60 who has perpetrated. Sad reality :( Children are vulnerable, and vulnerable people are always at risk for exploitation and abuse.
I had read a few years ago that sibling molestation was fairly rare (i.e. in the tallies of molestation events), something having to do with inverse sexual imprinting?
-
1
-
-
Yes.
Bill
What do you think is lacking in CLE LA?
-
Pez dispensers pop out the candy and then move on to the next candy. The same way Michelle hands her babies off to move on to making the next one.
That isn't what normal moms do.
To be clear, I do not disagree with you on calling MD out on her parenting methods. I do not agree that having children raise their siblings is a healthy or desirable practice, and I do not agree with what appears to be her strategy not just of accepting babies but of actively seeking to have as many children as possible. I wouldn't do it personally, wouldn't advise it to someone I cared about, and I agree with many here that the dynamic ATI fosters and the Duggars have embraced is very unhealthy. And obviously the latest revelations have made that pretty clear.
That said, I have heard the Pez dispenser insult before, yet never in reference to an uninvolved mother of 1 or 2 children. "I know a woman who ignores her 3rd grader in order to climb the corporate ladder. What a Pez dispenser." "Can you believe how Susan never spends time with little Bobbie? That Pez dispenser would rather date her way up the social ladder". It just... falls flat. It doesn't even really make sense. The emphasis of the imagery is on the number and the rapidity with which they 'pop' out.
-
1
-
-
Oh, and why is this not "misogyny"?
I can't think of any other word to describe reducing a woman to her vaginal function and insulting her for it. Calling her a "Pez dispenser" clearly refers to the fact that she 'popped out' a large number of kids, not that she failed to care for them.
-
2
-
-
I do think that for many people just reading and discussing and narrating books is enough for developing good reading comprehension skills. It was all that I needed as a student, and I assumed that it would work for my kids as well. But I was wrong. The truth is that not everyone thrives with the same approach.
I totally agree. Some children will need a more intentional, methodical approach, while some homeschooling moms may simply appreciate knowing that all the bases are covered with a reading program.
I also use CLE reading. I love that it covers comprehension (as many programs do) and that it also gently, methodically lays the foundation for deeper textual analysis. For example, one of my kiddos is finishing up the 200 level. In this latest unit, she has covered main idea, figures of speech, cause and effect, and choosing a new title. You can see the progression if you consider what my older child is doing in the 400 level -- onomatopoeia, similes, main idea in poems, free verse poetry, and checking your predictions. And for me, the best part is that it isn't just 'one and done," rather there is that spiral review which has really helped these concepts soak in.
My daughter particularly thrives with the CLE workbook approach and has asked that everything she does be CLE. She also asked me to order all the 1st grade units so she can teach her brother and sister. :) I don't get it because I personally don't find the materials aesthetically pleasing, but I do think that what they lack in flash they make up for in substance.
-
I'm excited to see if my grand plans will come together like I hope they will. Excited, but a little scared! Also, I'm excited to get my 1st grader reading, that's really my primary goal this upcoming year.
-
1
-
-
If the gates of hell will not prevail against Christ's kingdom, I don't think the Duggars pose much threat. :)
-
3
-
-
I have two kids using Horizons right now. (We also use Singapore casually just to be sure the conceptual understanding is there.) If it is a good fit for your child, you may want to keep it as your "get 'er done" math. That said, if you're itching for something different, what about adding Miquon or something fun a few times a week like that just to liven things up a bit?
-
For my 3rd grader, it's looking like:
Morning Time: Composer Study, Worship, Poetry, Memory Work, Cultural Studies, Vocabulary, Shakespeare, Read Alouds
Latin: Finish Prima Latina, then move onto...
Math: Finish Singapore 2B --> BA 3; Finish Horizons 3 --> Horizons 4 (won't start that until next spring)
Reading Instruction: Finish CLE Reading 2, move into Mosdos Ruby; Read through McGuffey 3 with me
LA: WWE, AAR 3/AAS 3; Finish CLE LA 2, move into [not sure, either CLE LA 3 or MCT]
Science: Exploring the Building Blocks 3
History: My Own History hodge-podge based on a chronological ordering of CC's memory sentences
Independent Reading: America First, My Book House 3, Burgess Animal Book with note booking pages, Pinocchio with comprehension guide, The Fairy Ring, Fifty Famous Stories, Viking Tales, Redwall, plus several novels of own choosing
Tea Time: Artist Study, Folk Songs, Geography (Using Charlotte Mason's Geography)
Piano
I'm giving up on Prima Latina, and we're going to give Getting Started with Latin a whirl. And, we're sticking with CLE LA.
-
I just wanted to chime in real quick and say I do not agree with the majority of what has been posted to this thread. ;) I have used Little Hands-RTR(some guides multiple times). I also have Rev to Rev on my shelf. I can not comment on the high school guides because I have never seen them. Honestly I have no experience yet teaching high school, so I'm not going to go there other than to say there is no way they are 6th grade level work. :lol: The middle school guides do progress in skill each year and are not equal in difficulty. The history narrations get longer and more in depth with each guide and there is added written output with each guide in multiple boxes. The research, science, and discussions questions are also more in depth with each guide. R&S itself is already a complete English curriculum and then there is added writing programs. You can easily use any writing curriculum you desire, it even says that right in the LA box. I also don't agree that there isn't any higher level thinking. If your kid isn't remembering anything they read I think that is a separate issue from HOD. Perhaps history isn't their thing or they need to work on reading comprehension skills. I really don't want to get into a fight with anyone about this. If HOD isn't your cup of tea don't use it, but there are plenty of people using it with great results. If you notice in this thread many people commenting have only used 1 guide or perhaps 2. For those who are looking into HOD and are feeling hesitant now. I encourage you to gather thoughts from multiple places and not just from a negative thread. It is a good thing there are so many different curriculum choices now so people can hopefully find something that fits their style and needs. :001_smile:
Thanks for offering a different perspective. :) I guess really everything boils down to what your goals are, and no curriculum can be all things to all people!
If you can get your hands on the Narrations book by Sonja Shaefer from the SCM site (if you like that method) I would utilize that and just increase the information. (SWB's writing lectures are also fantastic! and well worth the listen.)I'll have to take a look at the Narrations book, and I've been meaning to listen to those SWB lectures (I've seen them recommended several times). Thanks!
-
1
-
-
Well, this is disappointing. My goals are different than many here (only planning to homeschool up through 7th grade), but I had thought the HOD guides would be a good way to give my kids that depth and breadth in the upper elementary/early middle years with RTR-MMTM without *ME* having to spend the hours upon hours pre-reading, coordinating, correlating, and lesson-planning. I was looking at it as basically that work was the price of the guide.
Would you (anyone who has used HOD) say this issue is primarily an issue as you get to the high school level, or is it already a problem in the CTC-MMTM levels?
-
I have crossed out problems in Horizons. But I have to say, we finished testing today and I am actually glad for all the problems they did, and maybe I won't cross off quite as many as before. :)
-
This.
The Isreal debate is a distraction.
That's how I see it, too. Right now, ISIS isn't primarily killing Americans. I mean, they'd be happy to do so, but they're limited geographically and of course right now they're busy ridding their areas of influence of anyone who doesn't subscribe to their particular interpretation of Islam, whether that person be Jewish, Christian, atheist, or just-not-Muslim-enough-to-suit-them. We could cut off all ties to Israel tomorrow and the result would not be ISIS becoming our buddies.
-
2
-
-
Congratulations! That's a wonderful accomplishment. :hurray:
-
1
-
-
Yes and no. I have some kiddos who are voracious readers with excellent vocabularies; they seem to do fine on their own. Then, I have those with language struggles. My rising 5th grader (who has a Language Processing Disorder) just doesn't get words from context. It is shocking to me sometimes the words he doesn't know! Next year we will use WW *and* have a vocabulary-from-reading index card system in place. Rising 1st grader has the same diagnosis, and I suspect she'll also need the same kind of intervention.
-
It's particularized to the family's individual situation. a great deal depends upon how effective rehabilitation is deemed to be. The parents would only be denied rights to parent the victims if they both failed and are found likely to continue failing to protect them. They can lose custody and rights to the offender if they can't or won't control them and comply with the court's expectations for effecting rehabilitation or provide a safe home setting (safety plan in the home, or sending them to live with a relative, etc.) Or they abandon them to the system.
Keeping the offender in the home with the victim is very unusual, but not entirely unheard of.
Also very helpful, thanks for responding.
-
The answer to a lot of that is, it depends.
There is protocol, but there are a lot of them because situations vary so much. But, yes, there is an entire court system, family court, that has been created to deal with such situations. It has judges and legal precedent and courts of appeal. There is oversight and checks and balances.
In the case of a parent abusing their child, it is actually rare for parental rights to be legally terminated. That is a difficult thing to do. That relationship is considered so primary that even in cases of fairly extreme abuse the courts are loath to actually legally sever it. However, contact can be severely limited, only through writing, only at the request of the victim, after the abusing parent has the permission of their treatment program etc etc. All of those things are possible. However, one thing that is fairly standard is that the accused has to find a different place to live. And generally, there is no contact allowed until things get settled legally and treatment is under way.
If the non-offending parent does not believe the abused child, then things get difficult because then how can the child be safe in his or her own home? That is when victimized kids get removed. However, even then things get tricky. If a man has abused his daughter but has three sons, and the mother doesn't believe the daughter then the girl can be removed but the sons can stay in the home. If he hasn't abused boys then his lawyer argues that there is no reason to think he is a danger to the boys. It can get pretty frustrating.
CPS doesn't generally investigate minors, so CPS would not have investigated Joshua Duggar. It can vary from state to state, and I have asked, but I think it is more likely than not, that Arkansas CPS does not investigate minors. However, I could be wrong. CPS has a specific charge. It investigates the possibility of abuse and neglect between parents or "parental substitutes' and the minor children they live with. So, between parent and minor biological child, live in step-parent and minor step-child, grand parent who lives with minor child, mom's live in boyfriend and minor child, Uncle who lives in the house and minor child. There has to be a caretaker relationship, the person investigated has to be 18 or older, and the child must be younger than 18. If a guy down the street assaults a kid, that is a police matter alone. If the child is older than 18 then it is a straight police matter.
When one sibling abuses another, that would be a police matter, not a CPS matter if everyone is a minor. However, if the parents request some oversight, such as having their kid declared something like a "Person in need of supervision" then DSS can get involved and will monitor the situation. Or, if the parents were not being protective of the other kids in the house, then CPS might investigate the parents. That is called 'failure to protect.' It has been said that when the Duggar show started there was some stuff with cameras in the house and other sorts of monitoring of the kids movements? If so, that might have been something the Duggars offered to do to show CPS they were protecting the girls. It has also been reported that the Duggars had to report to DSS every 6 months that the children were in counseling. Again, that tells me that either they had their son declared in need of court monitoring or the parents were told they needed to show they were protecting the girls. It could have been both. CPS records should not be available no matter what, so I doubt we will ever know unless the family decides to let the public know, and even then it is only their word. CPS is legally unable to comment.
As for the "counseling", there is a very good chance that because everyone involved was a minor, and there were no charges, the parents were given given tremendous leeway in picking out what that counseling was. If they said they were using counseling that was in accordance with their religious beliefs, family court isn't going to stop them or question it. If there had been charges it would have been a different matter....for Joshua. He might have been required to go to a treatment program for youthful offenders. The parents would have been free to pick the therapy for the girls no matter what.
What a very thorough, informative answer. Thank you. :)
-
2
-
-
I am wondering, is there a standard protocol for abusive situations within a family? I'm guessing offending parents would be denied parental rights, but is that for a time or forever? And what does CPS do in a situation with sibling molestation, is this standardized? Do they recommend treatment then reunification, or do they recommend removing the offender from the family permanently?
-
1
-
-
did jim jones' followers KNOW they were drinking poisoned kool-aid? I could easily see him not telling them. that the drink was equal to some sort of covenant drink to get people to drink it - but not telling them it would also kill them.
details, details - don't confuse the poor dears with logic.
Yes, it was discussed at the compound. Jones called it "Revolutionary Suicide." Apparently, the first to come forward was a mother and her 1 year old baby.
-
The only way I could see 'supporting' or 'explaining' the Duggars at this point would be seeing them as victims of this cult, maybe thinking that the Duggars just gave up thinking for themselves. If the higher-ups said they should jump, they jumped. It's not unheard of (Heaven's Gate cult, Jim Jones, whatever that cult was with all the ladies wearing pastel dresses), in some cases people end up killing their children at the order of those in authority. If I'm not mistaken, mothers have even turned their daughters over for abuse to spiritual leaders (wasn't that part of David Koresh's thing?).
I don't know. The two aspects of this that make absolutely no sense to me are why they would keep Josh in the home after multiple offenses with multiple victims, and why they would go on TV afterwards, pretending theirs was the perfect family. This is all I've got for why anyone, knowing this was in the family's history, would remotely consider going on TV with 'family values' front and center. If they are brainwashed cultists, and the big shots at ATI told them to, that at least explains why they would do something so ridiculously risky for their family.
I just don't know. The whole thing kind of makes me sick to my stomach. Those poor girls. :(
-
User error, oops!
-
When I think of all the waste generated at a wedding -- food, gas, fresh flowers, dresses that will never be worn again -- wrapping paper seems one of the least of the environmental issues.
But, whatever. It's their wedding. I'd buy them a sheet set and wrap it in one of the pillowcases.
-
14
-
-
One of my children recently got a passport, and both parents' signatures were required before the documents could be processed, so I'm not sure last minute fleeing is even a possibility.
-
1
-
-
I don't know, sounds to me like a control issue/power play between the two parents. If it wasn't circumcision, it would be something else. Based on the information presented, both parents seem unreasonable.
-
1
-
I have a new vegetarian who doesn't want to eat vegetables
in The Chat Board
Posted
Did you say how old she is? Because personally, my response to this would vary greatly depending on the age of the kiddo. :)