[Potential baptism/chrismation date!]

Wonderful! 🙂

[Worst directions you were ever given (just for fun)]

 

Almost missed a wedding reception... the directions we were told were 'the restaurant is 1213 Porter Street.'

After following Mapquest out into the desert for 40 minutes and not finding it... and travelling back into town to get cell phone coverage so we could call someone and ask... we found that that wasn't the ADDRESS. That was the restaurant's ACTUAL NAME! 

(Name changed in this post to protect the innocent)

[What if, your spouse was giving you something for Christmas you do not want, and it is expensive]

I would have asked him about the purchase right away and told him kindly how I felt about it, if indeed it was for me. I wouldn't want to accept it, trying to be kind, and then have to wear it and secretly resent it perhaps for years! But I would have expressed this right away, not waiting for Christmas morning. How did it go? 

[Should I give in?]

I would get the cat.

[Son was jumped at school- what would you expect]

WTH? This happened in class? Where was the teacher? How could the teacher not respond, if the kid moved his chair and began abusing your DS for 5 minutes? How can any learning take place in such an environment?  Why was the teacher not in control of the classroom? I would ask for a meeting with the teacher, and if I wasn't satisfied then I'd talk again with the VP from that point of view: that the teacher needs some further training etc.

 

[WWYD re: Elderly Parent]

In our experience, MIL’s doctor would not touch the problem of driving.

In California there is a state authority you can call to report an unsafe senior driver, but I did call in one case and after several months there had been no consequences, so I would not rely on that, because you need something to happen quickly.

For my MIL there was no solution except having her move to where we are (different state) and the car was left behind.

I would explain to her what the problem is, having taken away the keys already so you don’t get into a shoving match over them; also  have nephew & wife hide their own keys when not in use. This will be really hard but it concerns everyone’s safety. ?

[How do you investigate a potential independent/assisted living/ nursing home situation?]

1. Visit a range of places in your area.

2. Visit on a Sunday night- that is when you’ll see the times when the supervisory staff may be absent and the rest of the staff may be taking it easy- so you will see the place at its worst. That will give you an indication of how bad it may get. If it’s okay then, likely it will be okay otherwise.

3. Are you sure that mom has good cognitive health? In our experience, MIL was accepted to live in a lovely assisted living place: think big windows, palm trees, waterfalls, but the DAY before she was to move in, they evaluated her and found her to have dementia and needed to be in the locked part of the facility- which was like a hospital, dark, and dirty, way in the back. It would be good to be sure of what she needs beforehand so as not to be blindsided. (SIL did not let her move in there- we found another place.) 

4. Find a place that has a nice memory-care wing attached, so if she needs it later, it will be there and not too much of an upheaval for her to move to it.

5. Ask the local Alzheimer’s association for several recommendations. Even if she is cognitively well, those folks know the neighborhood.

6. It’s best to move into a facility which is brand-new, because then it will be state of the art and the staff will be on their ‘A-game’ trying to recruit more residents, so it will be in much better condition than it will be in 10 years.

good luck!

[We're up and running...]

Truly he is risen!

I was off the WTM for Lent so I had no idea about the forum change til I came back! I’m finding it hard to get used to because the letters are so tiny, it’s hard for me to read with my middle-aged eyes...

[So, we weren't received...]

(Hugs) I hope you were able to to enjoy other parts of Holy Week?

[Teeny-tiny typeface]

The new forums are hard for me to read because the letters are too tiny... I’m here squinting. ? Is there any way I can reset it? Thanks!

[Prayers Please]

Your writing and your book is your job... and people don’t have to stop working at their jobs during Lent. Perhaps book launching involves talking it up, and talking yourself up (because what people love is not a book itself, but the author as storyteller) and putting your best foot forward- but if you have done some good work, the kind of pride you take in it is not wrong. Unless you take it to an extreme. :) best wishes.

[Readings or podcasts for lent?]

Not new, but re-reading the Lenten Spring by Thomas Hopko. :)

[Silly question on 'many years']

Not sure! I would ask the priest. :)

[Forgiveness Vespers]

1. Not everybody will stay.

2. If it is your first time, you can just observe. It’s not something obligatory. (See #1) that would be cultish!

3. You can enter into it emotionally a little bit, or a lot. It’s your choice & decision. If you like you can just say the words (whatever words is the custom in your parish) without thinking too much about it.

4. Nobody forgives everybody completely, and everybody has tons of people outside church that they also need to forgive/be forgiven by. The point is, the Rite of Forgiveness is a start. But let’s make a start.

HTH

[If you are/were a nurse...(career advice)]

So glad to hear that you are going ahead with your dream, after considering all factors! Best wishes to you!

[Special things for Nativity]

Here’s what I/we do...

-pay extra attention to the saints whose days crop up during Advent (you can call it Christmas Lent or the Christmas Fast if you like- I’m just used to saying Advent)

-schedule Confession

-fast, but lighter than Lent (we do no meat- except Thanksgiving- and Thanksgiving leftovers- until Dec 13 when we go vegan. But you can do what suits your family best.)

-some kind of Lenten discipline as far as the internet- for example only looking at one news site instead of 5, or only looking at this social group and not the WTM chat board, etc

-extra prayers OR extra attention to the usual prayer routine

-when going to the grocery store, get some extra items to hand in to the food pantry

-a good time to go over winter coats/hats etc to see if there’s something that can be given away. Likewise toys.

-we do all the things like put up lights, bake, but with extra focus on WHY we are doing these things.

-I totally agree about trying too hard to be the Ultimate Crafty Mom!!!

[Special things for Nativity]

Here’s what I/we do...

-pay extra attention to the saints whose days crop up during Advent (you can call it Christmas Lent or the Christmas Fast if you like- I’m just used to saying Advent)

-schedule Confession

-fast, but lighter than Lent (we do no meat- except Thanksgiving- and Thanksgiving leftovers- until Dec 13 when we go vegan. But you can do what suits your family best.)

-some kind of Lenten discipline as far as the internet- for example only looking at one news site instead of 5, or only looking at this social group and not the WTM chat board, etc

-extra prayers OR extra attention to the usual prayer routine

-when going to the grocery store, get some extra items to hand in to the food pantry

-a good time to go over winter coats/hats etc to see if there’s something that can be given away. Likewise toys.

-we do all the things like put up lights, bake, but with extra focus on WHY we are doing these things.

-I totally agree about trying too hard to be the Ultimate Crafty Mom!!!

[Help me with a simple response...]

“We’re very interested in Orthodoxy.†Period. Nobody needs to know your complicated backstory. Then just start asking THEM questions. They will love to tell you about themselves and their church. At this point I would not avoid coffee hour, because it will be nice to get to know people there & start becoming part of the community. As you know people better you can tell them more about yourself if you like.

[Would you eat this - baking mixes past date]

Throw it out.

[urgent prayer request]

Prayers for you! So glad about the sleep.

I have a close relative who had schizoaffective disorder and it was awful for our family. I know what you are talking about. In my experience nobody understands like another family member.

I hope that you are already connected with NAMI? It's run by family members of people with severe mental illness. They have support groups & classes. They have chapters all over the country. I really really love them.

[How to stop junk mail and telemarketing??]

Thank you so much for all these suggestions- MIL was scammed over the phone and by mail to the tune of thousands of $$. In her case the only way to stop it was when she moved into a 'memory care' unit. She no longer has her own phone. All her mail is forwarded to us... now we have to deal with the mounds of junk.

[Two women lost at sea for 5 months]

The mom reported it after a week and a half, but the Coast Guard could not find them. And, as of now they have to stay on the Navy boat until it comes into port on its own schedule- it won't make a special trip back to the US just for them- and the articles said that it wasn't clear when that'd be.

[Can your parental controls do this?]

We are using Ourpact and it is working pretty well so far.

[Mom writers-need help]

The best book about writing and a writer's life, hands down, is: Becoming a Writer:

https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Writer-Dorothea-Brande/dp/0874771641

Also the writing books by UK Le Guin, Annie Lamott, Essays on Literature by Nabokov, Stephen King, and the Afterward to Umberto Eco's Name of the Rose-- although not all that they say will be applicable to everyone.

Here is a free online magazine I just discovered at a local poetry read:

http://www.authorspublish.com/

Also, the Writer's Guide. I got my copy at the local library bookstore: they always keep the latest year's edition, so I got last year's for $1. :)

Also the FB page Writing About Writing. You may or may not agree with the fellow's political or moral stance, but he does publish some very helpful info.

1. Sit down and write every day. (Becoming a Writer has excellent exercises)

2. Protect that time.

3. Read a lot- the classics.

4. Don't get discouraged. If your writing is not good at first, it will get better.

5. Go to readings in your local community and meet other writers/poets.

6. Don't consider doing an MFA unless you really have counted the cost. :)

7. Don't pay any attention to 'writers' block'-- if you can't write your novel, try writing in some other genre that day.

8. Write down a one-sentence summary/soundbite that describes your book: this will be so helpful when you come to make cover letters for literary agents/ publishers. Then expand it to a one-page synopsis. That will also be needed later. It's so much easier to write these first than backengineer them from a whole book.

Good luck!

[WWYD: MIL situation]

It would not bother me at all, and I wouldn't interfere. MIL made a plan independently with the AHG leader. That would be fine with me- it wouldn't take away anything from her real birthday the next day, it is just a nice treat. If AHG leader felt it was not appropriate, that would have been her business to say so, and her business also to tell MIL how many girls to plan for.