[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

I agree with you about the cop's attitude. He is jaded. He has been doing this for a long time. I guess his voice sounds so familiar, having been raised by LEO'S, that is easier for me to take with a grain of salt. Honestly, he sounds tame compared to my mother and unpolished compared to my late father. You can't spend a lifetime on the force and come away sounding very optimistic about society...truthfully.

 

I do see where you are coming from in regards to stereotyping. It's difficult to draw connections with crimes to the prevalence of certain behaviors without the risk of stereotyping as a result.

 

 

I can only imagine!!!  It's a very difficult job, one that I would never want and that I'm not remotely equipped to handle.  I am in awe of those who do it well.

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

I was under the impression all along that topic has been binge drinking and hookup culture among college students and how these factors influence and affect sexual assaults among college women. The title of the thread is "Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus" and the title of the opinion piece under scrutiny is "Campus Drunk Confidential."

 

I think most people have been sticking to the topic. In my opinion, some people have read into the discussion details and opinions about rape as a whole that are simply not part of the topic which has been specifically geared toward the social norms that exist among adults in institutions of higher learning.

 

 

Yeah, I think that the misunderstanding has been on my end!  I mean, I think that the cop's article is making ridiculous exaggerations, and he seems to be extrapolating from his experience with rape on one campus (experiences which don't match the statistics at all) to draw general conclusions, and I think he's dead wrong.  I've read his email or whatever it was three times now, and it gets worse with each reading.  So I stand by my assessment of his article.  But when I thought that people here were making similar extrapolations, it may very well have been entirely 100% my misunderstanding.  I apologize.

 

And I'm sure this doesn't need to be said, but I feel like saying it.  In no way shape or form am I trying to defend binge drinking or hook-up culture!  Not even remotely!  I'm only trying to defend women from the stereotype that article promotes of the typical rape victim being a drunk girl who had consensual sex and then cried rape later, because I think that is hateful and destructive.

[Alternatives to The Book Samaritan]

My city is very fortunate to have a homeschooling library. There is a small fee for a lifelong membership (I forget - $10 or $20?) and then you can check out textbooks and other non-consumable homeschooling resources and curriculums for an entire year at a time. I haven't used it in years, so I hope I'm giving information that's still accurate! It's a neat thing. I wish every community could have one.

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

Well said, Lisa. Thank you!

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

The claim was made that there was no evidence of a majority of sexual assaults being linked to alcohol. There is plenty. I was using the article to illustrate that the cop isn't the only one talking about the strong connection between alcohol consumption and sexual assault. There are plenty of others making similar statements as the cop. Please consider the following:

 

"Research suggests that about 40% of college students binge drink (i.e., consuming 5 or more drinks in a short amount of time) and that the vast majority of campus sexual assaults are fueled by alcohol...

 

...If students could only limit themselves to no more than 1 or 2 servings of alcohol per day or per social event following Center for Disease Prevention (CDC) guidelines we would be sure to see incidents of sexual assault on campus drop dramatically." http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8668364.html

 

And then this:

 

"Findings from this report include:

 

In one study, one in 20 (4.7%) women reported being raped in college since the beginning of the year – a period of approximately 7 months – and nearly three quarters of those rapes (72%) happened with the victims were so intoxicated they were unable to consent or refuse.One study found that students living in sorority houses (3 times at risk) and on-campus dormitories (1.4 times at risk) were more likely to be raped than students living off-campus.Women from colleges with medium and high binge-drinking rates had more than a 1.5-fold increased chance of being raped while intoxicated than those from schools with low binge-drinking rates. Women who had practiced binge-drinking in high school had an increased likelihood of rape while intoxicated." http://www.nsvrc.org/saam/campus-resource-list

 

Why is there so much denial going on here? Is it preferable that college women and men continue to drink dangerous amounts of alcohol and be met with the horrors that can result from incapacitation and inebriation? It seems the better alternative is to educate people about responsible drinking rather than deny there is a problem. It doesn't mean the victim is being blamed.

 

While people still die in car accidents each year, the numbers have decreased dramatically with the enforcement of seat belt laws. Educating drivers about the dangers of driving without a seat belt isn't victim blaming anymore than warning students about the perils of binge drinking is.

 

 

Thank you for sharing this - these stats are (imo) much more relevant to the conversation.  And if they are accurate, then alcohol plays a much bigger role in campus rape than it does in rape overall.  That's not terribly surprising I suppose, given that campus life is right when so many young adults are attaining legal drinking age, and when so many young adults are away from home for the first time and engaging in risky behaviors like underage drinking.  

 

I don't think anyone is trying to deny that there's any connection between alcohol and sexual assault.  I think the point is, well I'm kind of repeating what I just said to Bluegoat so forgive me, but the point is that the cop's article exaggerates to the point of creating a stereotype.  He paints the typical rape victim as being someone who was drunk and engaging in casual sex, and the next day is just confused, but wasn't really raped.  He admits that he uses a different standard for rape cases than for other crimes,  because his sympathy lies with the accused not the accuser.  He's very dismissive of the experiences of young women, saying that they're really likely to "flake out" within a week.  He also admits that he's been criticized by counselors who help rape victims (gee, I wonder why!).  It all adds up to misogyny.  I think that a fair and thoughtful conversation about alcohol and rape is possible, and necessary.  I don't think this guy is capable of being part of it.

 

 

ETA:  Regarding the part of your post that I bolded, do keep in mind that this evidence is saying that the majority of campus rapes involve alcohol, which is still a different claim from the majority of rapes involve alcohol.  Perhaps part of the disagreement in this thread comes down to miscommunication?

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

 

 

I also don't think he is trying to be exact about numbers, or put them in line with national stats, or anything like that. He's looking to give a sense of his experience.

 

 

 

Maybe this is what it comes down to.  I gather that you see his article as exaggerating to make a point.  I see it as exaggeration so extreme that it obscures the truth and creates a stereotype.  

 

I am very sorry for what happened to you,  Bluegoat.  :grouphug:

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

According to this NIJ study, women who are raped by incapacitation are less likely to report than those raped by force.

 

And yet, this cop claims that ""90+%" of rape reports, from victims who go to the hospital, involve women who voluntarily got drunk and hooked up.

 

Do you see why this is not adding up?

 

I somehow missed this very important point.  Thank you!

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

 

Consider this information that was taken from a USA Today article, "Police, experts: Alcohol most common in sexual assaults"

 

 

This article is saying that when a rape victim was incapacitated by a drug, it is most likely that the drug was alcohol.  It's not saying that most rape victims were consuming alcohol.  That's a very different claim from the one the cop in the original article was making.  Most rape victims are overcome by brute force, not by drugs (including alcohol).

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

Here's a horrific example of what happens when police believe that women often lie about sexual assault and therefore decide to appoint themselves judge and jury. If you don't want to read the lengthy article, here's a summary:

 

 

I don't know if I can bring myself to read the article, because the summary was gut-wrenching enough.  But I thank you for sharing it, because these stories need to be shared.  When I was young and naive, I always thought that if I were raped, calling the police would be the absolute first thing I would do, and I didn't understand why the statistics showed that so many women never reported.  Now, after a couple of decades of hearing horror stories like this one, I completely understand why most victims chose not to report.   :(

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

 

I suppose what I would ask is what if you didn't worry about defining these experiences as rapes?  What I mean is, what he is describing is not necessarily legally rape at all.  Would you call something like that rape, or would your friends? Or would they be inclined to wonder? If they wouldn't, then they would not really be counted in the assault experiences you are thinking of, people would call them something else, or nothing.  If you included things like that, what would it look like?

 

 

 

Yeah, but that's kind of the point, isn't it?  Those kinds of experiences don't often get labelled as rape, and even less often reported as rape.  Very, very rarely, and yet he's making it sound like it's the norm, the most common type of rape that get's reported.  That's why I'm saying that this "article" is nothing but a misogynistic stereotype.  

 

 

 

But, if you've never been involved in something like a hook-up or binge drinking culture, and most of your friends haven't, you might not have many of those experiences to think of either.  For any individual, including the guy in the article, a lot will depend I think on the particular population.

 

 

I know that my sampling of the population is biased, but my sampling more closely aligns with what the research shows.  He doesn't seem to realize that his sampling is biased (assuming it's not completely imaginary), so he makes ridiculous claims like eliminate binge drinking and "you would eliminate practically all reported sexual assaults in this country. Eighty percent of them at least would disappear because you would eliminate the victim side of the crime triangle."  That's a load of crap.  

[Say it isn't So! Cop Writes about Extent of Hook-Up Culture on Campus]

I think if you look at people's comments, it is because what he is saying resonates with their experience.

 

The vast majority of people I know who have had what I would call "bad sexual experiences" have had them under those kinds of conditions.  That is, they felt there was something off, or possibly coerced, or that they didn't remember or would not under normal circumstances have been involved with, or that someone took advantage of them.

 

If I were to say people I know who have been sexually assaulted in a way that could be taken to trial, that would not be true, at all, but that seems to me to kind of be the point.

 

 

I've posted about this in other threads, but what he's saying doesn't resonate with my experience at all, not even remotely, not even in the ball park.  Of all the women that I know who have been raped, and that incidentally is a shockingly high percentage of the women I know overall, alcohol was only involved ONE TIME, and that was half a beer.  She had half of a beer, and then regained consciousness in a strange place being raped by the guy who had handed her the beer.  Obviously she was drugged, because nobody passes out from half a beer.  In all the other cases that I know of, alcohol was not involved at all.  And yet they still would not fit the profile of those stranger rapes, which he seems to think are the only true rapes that occur.  It was always someone she knew:  a neighbor, some older students (yes, plural  :ack2:  :angry:  :crying: ), a coworker, a date, a "friend".  They were all raped because the rapists overpowered them with sheer brute force.  I have no doubt that getting excessively drunk can make a rapist's task much easier for him if you happen to have the misfortune of being in the vicinity of a rapist when you drink, but this guy's ridiculous claim that 90% of rapes are about alcohol is ABSURD.  He's perpetuating a misogynistic stereotype of the typical rape victim as a drunk slut who regretted her choices the next day.  It is an insult to all victims, and all women.  It didn't occur to me when I first read it that he might not be a cop at all, but I hope the people who have pointed out that possibility are right, because God help us if these are the kinds of cops who handle rape cases.

[Settle this- Who is right here regarding college money?]

I was nowhere near responsible enough at that age to handle a sum of money like that.  I think it's a rare person who would be.  Pay as needed.  That will save everyone some heartache later on.

[Women & the draft]

I apologize for my careless wording.  I do understand that it's the selective service that we're talking about here.  But I also understand that the government has the power to bring back the draft.  I'm not optimistic enough to believe that it won't happen again. 

 

I think that serving in the military is a deeply honorable calling.  But I also think that conscription is . . . ugly.   (That's the nicest word I can think of!)

[Women & the draft]

For what it's worth, I oppose any draft. However, if we are going to have one, I do believe that burden should fall on equally on everyone's shoulders, without regard to gender.

 

 

You're obviously not alone in your thinking, but I must respectfully say that I don't understand it.  If you believe that the draft is unjust and immoral, as I do, I don't see how it gets any less immoral by expanding it to include more people.  

 

And it's not an equal burden, because of the military's well-known problem with sexual assault and harassment.  Nothing equal about it.

 

I am disgusted with a government that has repeatedly failed to pass measures to ensure that women get equal pay for their work, but will in all likelihood pass a measure to include women in the draft.  We're only "equals" when it suits their needs.  

[Women & the draft]

What are they going to do to address the serious risk of sexual assault for women in the military? Knowing the risk and voluntarily enlisting is one thing...

 

 

This was my thought exactly.  Before we even talk about drafting women, they need to fix the very serious problem of sexual assault of women in the military.  But no, we just skipped right past that critical step.  Whaaaa?

[For my fellow planner addicts. You're welcome.]

Can you talk about some of the physical characteristics (is the paper thick enough, etc) and the customer service?

 

 

The paper is thick enough that I never really thought about it (I wasn't bothered by it being too thin) but I'm not sure if that's much help!  It's certainly good enough quality for my needs.  The cover has a nice book-like feel to it, and it's sturdy, but it's not impervious to marks and scratches.  In my feedback to them, I mentioned that they might want to consider offering the option of a nicer leather cover, but again the cover is nice is nice enough for my needs.  It seems to be of sturdy construction overall, at least I haven't had any problems whatsoever with mine.

 

Their customer service is great, but I have only placed the one order so far.  I made the mistake of doing that in December, when they are absolutely inundated with orders.  So it did take longer than the expected time, but that was quite understandable given the timing of my order.  This year, I will remember to order my refill in November.

 

I feel like that wasn't much help, but please let me know if I can answer any other questions.

[For my fellow planner addicts. You're welcome.]

I have one and I love it!

[Question about credit reports]

My residences are on one of them from the late 1980s. What comes off is certain financial info, but not necessarily personal history. And each of the reporting agencies is different.

 

Thanks!

[Question about credit reports]

If the address is far enough back I would ignore it. If it's newer I would call. It's difficult enough to get them to address a real problem though, so unless it's more recent on the address I wouldn't worry.

 

 

That's the funny thing.  On the accurate addresses, it lists a date that the address was reported.  But on the address that I've never had, it doesn't list a date.  So I have no idea if it got (mistakenly? fraudulently?) reported recently or a long time ago.

[Question about credit reports]

I know you're supposed to check your credit report regularly, but I'm just doing it for the first time in my life!  I've gotten two out of the three so far.  My understanding is that debts or lines of credit, etc. stay on your credit report for 7-10 years.  Both of my reports are accurate in this regard.  Nothing unexpected there.

 

But what's weird is that one of them shows me as having had an address that I never had.  Should I get them to correct that?  And the other one is accurate in terms of the addresses that it lists, but it goes all the way back to an apartment that I had for one year in 94/95.  That's some pretty old information!  Is that still supposed to be on there?  It's not that I have an objection to the information being there, just that I was surprised by it.  

[Is this something that a personal trainer would be able to address?]

Perhaps you are not resting enough between days.

 

 

Good suggestion, but I don't know, I feel like I'm getting plenty of rest.  I do my "heavy weight" routine (with the squats and deadlifts and upper body stuff as well) twice a week.  Once a week I do a circuit training class that's much lighter weights with more reps (it's only a 40 minute class).  Three days a week I do some form of cardio.  And the 7th day is a rest day.  Does that sound reasonable?

[French police officer and wife killed by terrorist]

So horrible.  Almost ready to turn off the news for a while.

 

 

Yes, I'm not sure I can take much more.   :crying:

[Is this something that a personal trainer would be able to address?]

Girlsgonestrong.com has lots of information about lifting and you may find an article or video that addresses your specific concern. Definitely see a good trainer and maybe back down on the weight until you get this figured out. If you are in pain after lifting that is not ok. It's really, really hard to perfect your form by yourself-another person may see things that you are missing. Lifting weights is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time to see results and it is really important for your form to be flawless before you try anything really heavy. Don't give up! Being strong is awesome and the journey there is so rewarding!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

Thank you for the encouragement!  :grouphug:  I have read and enjoyed a number of the articles (and videos) at GirlsGoneStrong, but I didn't think to look for something that might address this particular issue.  That's a great suggestion.

[Is this something that a personal trainer would be able to address?]

That sounds like a lot to me. You really shouldn't be going beyond 3 sets, especially so soon after beginning. That many sets is really for an intense body builder. You should probably be focusing on strengthening your upper body first as well. The suggestion to do machines for awhile sounds good too. It doesn't mean you can't get there, but try to be more gradual about it.

 

 

To be honest, it sounds like a lot to me too!  :lol:  My husband is definitely of a "the more the better" type of mindset when it comes to all things exercise.  I'll tell him that I've been advised to cut back to three sets for awhile and see how it goes.  I imagine he'll say that I should increase the reps, then, to 12 or 15 instead of 10.  I'm guessing you would say otherwise?

 

Oh, and yes I am doing upper body stuff as well.  The pain *seems* to be coming from the squats and deadlifts, though I can't be 100% sure.

[Is this something that a personal trainer would be able to address?]

I'm just thinking that weight work is always a slow build.  You do some, you get stronger, you add weight.  In this case, you do some machine work, you get stronger, you add weight, you get stronger, you add more weight, you get stronger, THEN you switch to free weights.  It might be that your machine workout weight setting was too low for you to get a really good workout.

 

Also, in general the good books on weights I have seen ALL encourage people to learn the form very well with weights that are 'too low' and only then move into higher weights, taking great care to maintain that form.

 

 

Ah, I get what you're saying.  I did start with bodyweight-only squats, then added some light weights from dumbbells, but I made the jump to the barbell pretty quickly, maybe too quickly.  I suppose a personal trainer might be able to help in this regard - help me figure out what kind of weight I really should be lifting.