OhM
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Posts posted by OhM
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Another hard thing to hear-ARE the rules too hard? Mine were.
Similar situation here. An important part of helping dd through this was learning to "give" a little on certain negotiable items. It did wonders of helping us to loosen up a bit, and helping her to know that we really were hearing her viewpoint.
I heard SWB speak at a conference a few years back, and she talked about some ground rules her mom had for letting her (as a young teen, I believe) state her objection to a rule with a signal that told her that "discussion" had gone too far into "arguing". I wish I could remember the details - maybe someone else does?
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(See OhM and I were posting the same thing at the same time. :))
Great minds, you know. :D
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I LOVED that episode, but I know lots of friends who didn't. I though it was a really good view into Walter's mind...if you get bored someday, watch it with that mindset, and you'll find it is full of interesting info.
Thanks for the encouragement - it's the only one I've skipped. (I usually watch them on Hulu the following weekend.) I'll have to go back and check it out.
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Oh, phew, just watched the finale, and need to know what happens next??!!
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BTW, have you all seen
????? Not a spoiler, just a very funny Titus Welliver/Mark Pellegrino thing.Aaaaahhhhhh! This is awesome! So funny!
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The numbers and Walt are my two big *things* - though I am interested in everything else as well!
Yeah - Walt - why was Walt "special", and what were the others trying to do with him?
Why does Eloise seem to have awareness across the different timelines?
Why, exactly, was Daniel crying at the beginning of season 5?
Why can Miles sense and Hurley talk to dead people?
I can surmise answers to all of these, and my guesses are probably more interesting and entertaining than anything they would "tell us" - but I just want to know!
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DD, dh and I had a *serious discussion* when she was around your dd's age. We explained how her habit of hiding things from us, misrepresenting the truth, and, yes, flat-out lying to us was going to impact her freedom when she became 15, 16, 17... and should realistically be expecting more freedom. We also made it clear that *everything* was in question after she had been caught lying about *anything*.
Being caught in a lie resulted in natural consequences of needing to be around us, or always in the presence of an adult who would monitor and verity her behavior (not "tomato-staking" per se, but very similar) and reinforcement of the "this will continue until you prove yourself trustworthy" speech.
I can't say it immediately cured her, but we did notice a change in her effort, and now at 15 I feel very confident that she's open with us about who she is and what she's up to ;) without us having to be constantly looking over her shoulder.
ETA: I should add that at 13-14 she got much worse - hiding the nature of some of her relationships and a dabble in cutting - so we went through family counseling, which I think helped her to be more honest with herself as well as with us.
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My 12 yr old ds may be developing a bad habit. If it's too much effort, or takes to much time, he doesn't want to continue. Case in points: Saxophone for 2 years - quit; football for 3 years - quit; guitar for 1 year - quit, now he's been in the boy scouts for 1 1/2 years and he wants to, you guessed it, quit. My sister seems to think that kids these days don't want to continue with anything if some effort is involved. I guess I'm wondering if I need to be a little tougher and not allow him to quit. But then on the flip side, I want him to try new things knowing that it is up to him to continue.
How do you handle similar situations?
(Well, I didn't handle the poorly done research paper that she just wants to be done with very well this morning...:glare:)
But in general, if I'm sensing that the reason is that they've come upon something challenging, I'll often say, "As soon as 'X' is completed, you may quit if you still want to." Once they find that they have to do the thing they were hoping to avoid, they settle in and have a good time, and usually want to continue.
I do let them quit activities if they've outgrown them, or sincerely made an effort and just aren't that interested. In a couple of cases, I've made the decision to quit because of the way things were run.
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I honestly hadn't thought much about it w/two dd's. We looked at art books, went to the art museum, and saw lots of nudity. We'd talk a lot about the artists and lighting and color, and who the model was, if that was significant, but we really didn't focus on the fact that they had no clothes.:D
Then I took my girl scouts (they were 9-10 years old at the time) to the National Portrait Gallery in DC. We were strolling through, looking at our own pace, when a group of them came rushing out of the gallery ahead, with their hands shading their eyes.
"Mrs. S - there are nekkid people in that room! Tell the other girls they can't go in there!!!!" :confused:
So the other leader and I rounded them all up and explained that the human body was and is one of the most beautiful things on the earth, and many artists made beautiful paintings and sculptures depicting the human form. Some of the girls flat out refused to go near any of "those" artworks. (We didn't force them to, of course.) All but mine were uncomfortable with it. (And my dd was starting to think that maybe she *should be* since everyone else was.:glare:)
To this day, when we talk about going to the art museum in town, someone will ask, "Will there be naked pictures there?" in horror.
And yet some of the same girls are all excited about some of the popular singers and their "cool outfits" which leave so little to the imagination??
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Not much, still, but our family loves it!
It's the anti-Myrtle Beach. Not much in the way of "attractions", but the beach is uncrowded and wonderful.
We rent in Topsail Beach, on the south end of the island, where it's even more secluded.
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:iagree: completely with other posters' advice to let it drop, and avoid future interaction w/her.
I had an almost identical situation happen when dd was 9 and in girl scouts. I was a helper w/the troop, and misunderstood the meeting place after an outing. For whatever reason, she had planned to go to a different McDonald's than the one we usually went to, and I didn't get word of that. So, part of the girls and I ended up at the wrong place. I figured out what happened, and tried to contact them at the other restaurant, with no luck. (It was before everyone carried cell phones.) I finally called her house and left a message w/her husband in case she thought to call him, got the girls their dinner, and had a great time eating and talking w/them. When we caught up w/each other, she stomped over to me and LET ME HAVE IT - full barrels, no holds barred! (The other parents and girls stood open mouthed and watched this all go down.)
I did my best to apologize, grovel, assume all the blame, assure her it wouldn't happen again, plead for her to forgive me. She did eventually. We finished out the year of girl scouts and I was happy and relieved that dd did not want to return the next year.
About a year later, I ran into her at the same McDonald's, said, "Hi, X, how are you?" and she physically turned her back and refused to speak to me. I was SHUNNED!!!! She hasn't spoken to me since (dd is 15 now!) I have no idea what I did to tick her off - when I had last seen her a couple of months before that, she was fine - chatty as always.
My point is - if she's psycho this way, she's undoubtedly psycho in other ways. Unless you go for that kind of drama, I'd drop her like a hot potato!
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Why yes, yes I do.
(Actually, it's one body style before the "swagger wagon", but it is a new Sienna - after retiring the 10yo version!)
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We mix it w/tomatoes w/olive oil & garlic. (Canned. I know, I know...)
But for a quickie dish, it's not bad (and the frozen spinach isn't gross - but then I like it plain w/vinegar, so what do I know?)
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These are all great suggestions for the Cols./Dublin area - and the zoo has a water park right next door.
Some other ideas: the Ohio Historical Center (my kids love!) And check out other Ohio Historical sites from that link. Dayton has the National Air Force Museum at Wright Patterson.
Make sure you have a giant cream puff from Schmidt's in German Village! (You probably already saw that on Man vs. Food!) Also in German Village is a fantastic, block-long book store - The Book Loft. Def. worth a trip!
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:lurk5: Fantastic thread! I'm reading with great interest.
I've decided that I'm going back to school this fall. I'm going to finish pursuing the RN degree that got pushed back when life got in the way 15 years ago. It may take me YEARS (I'm only taking a prerequisite/semester for a while, then hoping grades are high enough to be accepted in the program), but I'll lose nothing by trying and I'm hoping to set an example for my kids, that learning is for a LIFETIME!
Please keep your stories coming :001_smile:.
:iagree: What an inspiring and encouraging thread! I love it! Thanks, OP, for asking.
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Yes! I have low blood pressure. I also have a low body temp. My norm is 97.6. If I hit 98.6 I have a low grade fever.
Same here! (97.1 for me.) And, like some others, I have hereditary low blood pressure - it's usually 80/60. (I was also asked - when giving blood once - how I was able to be up and walking around since I had the blood pressure of "a dead person":glare:)
The only time it gives me trouble is when I stand too quickly from a lying position. I just try to remember to take an intermediate "sitting up" step before standing.
And with the low temp, it's hard to convince nurses that I am running a fever at 98.6. They don't buy it until they page back through my chart.
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Yep - you def. need some binoculars. No friends or neighbors you can borrow some from? We need to know what those notes say!!!???
(Now it's driving all of us crazy, too!)
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:iagree:I'll be the lone voice of dissent here & say that I don't have a problem with the dance moves, by and large. I would have had a ball doing that as a little girl. I don't think it has to be sexual at all - moving your body that way isn't in & of itself bad. Combined with the costumes & the lyrics it becomes inappropriate IMO. I also worry about the pedophiles watching.
:iagree: Those girls were clearly talented, and had some great moves, but THOSE COSTUMES! THAT SONG! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!
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Someone recommended Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room to our GS troop (we're going in July.)
Unfortunately, since they're only open Mon-Fri, we won't be able to go. :(
Maybe you could and tell us about it!
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Funny you mention it - it's always been verboten in our house, but recently (for whatever reason) dh has trotted it out several times when the girls have been mouth to him. :confused:
Maybe he thinks their old enough to "handle" it? I've pushed back against it pretty hard, and I think he's convinced that unless he wants to be hearing it back in his face, he needs to lay off! :glare:
But until recently, it was almost never heard around here.
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Is it 5 o'clock somewhere?
If you're on FB- there is some interesting wine discussion at this page!
I l-o-o-v-e wine!
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Is it this one?
How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the rule of three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.
-- G.K. Chesterton
Oooh - I'm shamelessly stealing that for my fb status today! Good one!
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Yeah - the kid had a horribly abusive father - and the parents indicated he had sociopathic behaviors as a child - but n-o-o-o-o-o - it's the homeschooling and social isolation that pushed him over the edge.
The scene where the teacher realized that she did know another teen who fit the profile; she just didn't remember because he's homeschooled grated on me, too. It was almost as obvious as everyone throwing up their hands and saying - "Of course - he must be the killer!"
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I fixed it for you. ;)
Took me a minute - yeah - thanks!:D
Books for pre-teen girl???
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I remember reading James Herriot around that age. (All Creatures Great and Small, etc.) But it's been so long I barely remember them - I just remember liking them.
My girls and I enjoyed the Shakespeare Stealer series by Gary Blackwood.
My 12yo is hooked on the Westing Game - her 3rd time through.