Erica in PA
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Posts posted by Erica in PA
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I voted for the last option, even though I do accept the Bible's teaching on the marriage relationship, and try to live out that kind of relationship together with my dh. The problem is with how the question words it-- trying to make your husband a better man by submitting... that is not the purpose of the concept, any more than the command for the husband to love his wife is to make her better. I think it's a little twisted and possibly manipulative to behave in a particular way because you think it will change someone else, especially your own spouse.
I also think there is waaaaaaaaayyyyy too much emphasis in Christian circles on the woman's submission part of the relationship. I don't (ever?) hear anyone telling men how much their wives will change, and their marriages will change, once he finally loves his wife sacrificially the way he should. For some reason, that burden is put only on the women, which is odd because it is the husband who is supposed to be the leader of the home!! Why shouldn't it start with him, showing love like he's supposed to? Why do these speakers and writers always assume that it must start with the woman? It's almost like telling a mistreated worker that if he will just work harder and show more politeness and respect to his master, he won't be so mistreated any more, instead of going directly to the master and telling him to stop mistreating his worker! There's something twisted about it.
I also think it's possible for a woman to be so much of a doormat that she can actually encourage unloving and disrespectful feelings from her husband. Some men really struggle with being domineering and overbearing, and I think it might actually benefit them more if their godly wife would stand up for what's right and tell him where he's sinning, rather than quietly smiling and agreeing with it all.
My husband is our spiritual leader in the home, and I am more than willing to submit to his final decisions because he loves and respects me. One of the ways he shows this is by listening to my thoughts on everything, and considering them carefully. He acknowledges that there are things that I know more about than he does, and defers to my opinion on those matters. He trusts me to handle most things without running them past him, because he trusts my judgment.
Have I made him a better person by respecting him and deferring to him as the final authority in our home? No way. The Lord by His work in our lives helps us to grow spiritually, and our relationship with each other is a reflection of that, it's not the cause.
ETA, one last thought-- I also think overemphasizing women's submission can give fuel to unhealthy relationships. Some women tend to be weak, indecisive, and uninformed about important issues, while some men can be controlling, selfish, and irresponsible, and I have observed women in these types of relationships gravitate toward this kind of thinking. It does make things "easier" on them, because it plays to the weaknesses on both sides, and prevents outward conflict. That could *look* like spiritual growth (i.e. We don't fight about money anymore! Now my husband does all of our finances and tells me if I am allowed to spend any money each month.), but imo, it's far from it because it simply allows both spouses to continue on in their sinful ways more comfortably.
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I'm wondering if anyone does substitute teaching (while homeschooling). I'm wondering if that can work out if you're not willing to work all the time, but just a couple days per week. I have just one kiddo home next year, a 9th grader.
What has your experience been?
Pamela, I just found this old post when I did a search for substitute teaching on this board, because I was considering the same thing. Did you ever find out anything more about this option? I was thinking of making myself available two days per week, maybe Thursday and Friday, and just seeing if that would work. I could have my kids stay home alone in a pinch (they're 13, 9, and 7), but more likely I would ask a friend or family member to watch them while I work.
Has anyone else done this, or known anyone who has done so while homeschooling?
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Did you say that you'd worked for them before? I want to make sure it's all reputable before I apply. It looks good so far.
I have not worked for this company before, but it looked legitimate to me. I have done test scoring before, but it was on-site, not online, and it was for a different company. What I saw on this company's site looked very similar to what I am used to, so that was part of what reassured me.
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Link please!!!!!!
Oh and good for you! Hope it works out..
Here is the site that I applied with. https://websurveyor.net/wsb.dll/80911/Scoreessaysfromhomeapp1.htm There is also good information in Renai's posts above, if you want to check that out.
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Ah, I don't tutor on my own. I've worked for a couple of companies- there are a few that are national. I worked with A to Z Tutoring http://www.atoztutoring.com/ as an independent contractor, they are national. I'm currently working with a local tutoring company as an employee. There are other companies as well. They serve as Title I tutoring companies, hired by the public schools, given students to tutor under the NCLB.
That's funny, I've done tutoring for a company too!! I worked for a local company called A+, where we used to live. I haven't really heard of much where we are now, but maybe I should look more into it. I did used to enjoy it. It's very rewarding!! I'll check out the A to Z site, too. Thank you!!
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Here's a link that I answered a while back with more possible work from home resources: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=389104&highlight=work+home#post389104.
This post is old, but it mostly still applies. I would add Rat Race Rebellion as a good resource to that list. I'm currently working as a tutor (for the past year), which is right up my alley. It's not work from home, but I make my own hours, and this semester I purposely only chose students that wanted to tutor at the school across the street from me (I'm student teaching at this school, am taking 10 post-bac credit hours, and still homeschool). I also work for a call center that only takes donation calls, that type of phone work I can definitely handle! It is quite busy during pledge drives. It's ACD Direct (http://www.acddirect.com).
But to answer the direct question: BTDT. Last February. It was such a waste of time. Although I was working from home, it was a lot of hours and I thought dd would get more work done in school. I was wrong. It's actually the same school I'm student teaching in, but there's no hard feelings :D.
I just saw your update. Is it ETS or Pearson? Those are the two I know off-hand that scores tests online. I work with ETS, and am trying to get in with Pearson. WorkPlaceLikeHome.com forums has a tutoring/education forum, and a few of us post in there about working for both of these companies. Since you've worked with scoring companies before, you know that it is quite seasonal work. You will want something during the slow times. Also, Pearson can be slow getting in, but I hear once you're in, the going's pretty good.
Thanks Renai! I have tutored before, but it's not really my thing. While I enjoyed the actual tutoring, I'm not very entrepreneurial, and it would be hard for me to generate new students, and keep it going on my own.
I applied with Pearson. I'll check out ETS too, as well as WorkPlaceLikeHome. com. Thank you for the tips!!
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Update: I just found what could be a huge answer to prayer!! I was searching online for jobs, part-time for now, and I found a work at home opportunity as a test scorer! About five years ago I worked for a test scoring company and loved it. This is very similar, but can be done from home rather than at a scoring facility, which is something I have searched for online for several years now. I would love it if this were to work out!! If I could get up early in the morning and score for a few hours, and do a few more hours at night after the kids go to bed, that would be awesome. I submitted an application, so we'll see what happens. Just thought I'd let you all know, so that this thread can end on a hopeful note! ;)
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Erica, I'm sorry about this.
It really does grind you down to be always low on funds.
I also agree with you about the cyber school thing--it makes perfect sense to me that I would choose my Dd attending a school before I would choose a cyber school. Except, I bet your oldest could do the cyber school alone while you were working, and I wonder whether that would make the whole thing more palatable. The younger children could go to school, and the 13 yo could school at home, but without you there all the time, either with a cyber school or with assignments that you make and then leave him to do on his own.
It is really, really hard to homeschool and work fulltime at the same time. I do it, and I know this. I don't bring this up lightly, but just as another option for you to think about.
Thank you for your kind words, Carol. I really appreciate how everyone in this thread really seem to understand my predicament.. I'm usually not the kind of person that seeks a lot of empathy, but in this case, it seems like I really needed some!
Though your suggestion could work, I just can't envision my 13 year old staying home all day by himself. That doesn't seem like much of a way to grow up, to me. I would feel terribly guilty, and I can't imagine that he would be happy. I would rather he at least try school, and be able to make friends, do some science experiments and speeches, join the band, be around other people, etc. Our local schools are good, though, which makes a big difference. If we lived in a bad area, the cyber school option would probably win out.
One thing that I am thinking about suggesting to dh, after reading through this thread, is the possibility of enrolling my 7 yod in the cyber charter school for the rest of this year, and possibly next. It would be really easy for me, since she is the youngest, and for first grade it is not time consuming at all. Doing that, all her school materials would be free, and we would save $70/month on our internet, plus she would have access to free extracurriculars. This wouldn't solve our problem, by any means, but it would free up a bit more money to put toward our debt every month. This will hard to sell to dh, though, because he really values our independence as homeschoolers. But it might be worth asking him to consider.
Thanks for the input!
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OT: but as I quickly scanned the titles of threads I read this one as "has anyone considered SELLING their kids to school for financial considerations" My first thought was, there is a school that will pay me to send them there? And here I thought Alberta was paying me to keep them out of the school hehe (homeschool funding).
Back on topic: I have considered this, recently in fact, but having had the kids in school while I worked I have to say that while we are dirt poor we have more now than we ever did back then. When I worked f/t the kids went to school and afterschool daycare, my 3rd went to daycare f/t(he was just a baby/toddler). I spent $900/month on daycare fees and that was will subsidies. Plus the extra fees the school wanted weekly, the lunch money, gas money to get them there and back and me to and from work, work clothes, the hassle in the mornings and at the end of the evening, then the homework battle, and the fight to get everyone to bed early enough to make up for the early morning the next day. It was HORRIBLE. In the end I think I had like $100/month "extra" money after all that hassle to show for my fulltime job.
Before I had my 4th I worked in daycare doing afterschool care, my 3rd was too young to bring so I paid $350/month in daycare fees to have him in a separate place. That wasn't so bad until my hours dropped(I went to work in the second location the owner bought and all the kids were gone by 4:30 each afternoon).
If I put the kids in school/afterschool care and the littlest in daycare I would be spending over $1000/month in daycare fees alone plus all the school fees and added stress. I would be further behind than I am now. If I go back to working in afterschool care I would be paying out about $350/month in daycare fees but actually have something coming in. This is the point I am at now, looking into finding a center to do this in again, until this summer when I move.
My earning potential is not very big, I do have a college diploma but the possible income potential is very small compared to the cost of daycare. I "make" more money staying home than I did working fulltime now that my ex pays child support.
I know what you're saying. The choice was much easier for me when my kids were little. Now there would be no childcare expense, since my youngest is in second grade. Now it suddenly seems like an option, and one that millions and millions of good families choose every day. I don't have tons of earning potential either, but since I wouldn't have to pay child care, I would have much more to keep than I would have a few years ago. Makes the choice much harder for me now!
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((Erica))... I don't know what the solution is. I know you guys have been working under this pressure for a long time, and I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.
Aw, thank you Abbey. Such a short post, and yet.. that makes me want to cry! :crying: I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
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Erica, I'm so sorry. I've been struggling with something similar for the past two years, but on a much smaller scale and with less at stake than you have, and it's still been awful. I have no advice that hasn't already been given here, but I wanted to just give you a :grouphug: It's a hard decision to have to make.
Thank you, Melissa. I have read your posts before, and know that you can relate. I appreciate your post!
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so is it the cost of homeschooling, or the missing out on salary that you could make?
I don't have any answers for you, but perhaps you could look into a free online state thing that wouldn't cost you any money...even supplies are free. Maybe even the time that you don't have to spend planning curricula and stuff would free you up to do some computer work from home to earn a little extra $.
No, I can homeschool very inexpensively. We only spend $200 per year on school stuff for three children. And, contradictory though it is since I am contemplating putting the kids *in school*, I wouldn't feel comfortable giving all that input over to the cyber school. :lol: That really sounds ridiculous, I know. I guess I feel like if they were in school, I wouldn't have control either, but I could work and at least we'd get out of this hole we're in! With a cyber school I still couldn't make ends meet, and I wouldn't even be able to homeschool the way I want to. Not totally logical, but that's where I am right now. ;)
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If you are like me (and I don't know if you are), I would encourage you to make sure your husband understands how the situation is impacting you.
Yes, I need to do this more. Thank you!!
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:grouphug: I'm sorry you are in such a spot that you feel no choice in doing something. That is a hard place to be.
That being said, why does your dh want to take a job that makes so much less if you already can't pay your bills? I don't mean that to sound negative. He could have a good reason. The new job could be more secure, or have better long term opportunity. I don't know what his reasons are, but I would want to make sure that it was a good move. Since he still has student loans, I would make that a priority to have paid off before he switches careers. I would want more than it just feeling like God is leading. No offense, but I don't trust feelings.
As for you taking a full time job, have you considered the hidden costs? Often other costs go up when you have to be out of the house all day. If you do need some extra money to cover temporary expenses (I'm thinking of the student loans and credit card bills), a part time job might be better.
If you do have to put the kids in school and work maybe you could still find a way to homeschool the 13 year old. If he is self motivated you could find a way to work with him a few days a week.
I would also encourage you to have a frank talk with your dh. I know you want to be supportive, but make sure he is seeing the same financial problems you are seeing. Sometimes, when one person is handling the bills and budget, the other person doesn't have a real sense of what is going on, even if you tell him or her. Before he changes jobs, make sure he has a plan for how he is going to pay his loans and debt, plus take care of the kids. If his plan includes you working for a time, then you may need to do it. Maybe he doesn't realize the stress you are under as he makes his decision.
:grouphug: again. I hope this didn't sound negative or rude. I'm typing thoughts as they come as I give spelling tests to 3 kids. I hope you and your dh are able to find a solution to your financial situation.
Thank you, these are good thoughts! I do need to talk to dh more about our finances. It just really stresses him out. LOL Obviously it stresses me out too, but I can usually find a way to turn that into something productive, whereas financial stress just causes dh to shut down completely and become depressed. I pay the bills, so I am more aware of everything than he is. He just basically knows, "We have no money. We can't spend anything for the next two weeks." And he goes with that. But yeah, we do need to talk about exactly what our plan is.
Thank you for the encouragement!
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ETA: You said you haven't mentioned this to anyone IRL...does that include your dh? If so, you may want to get his opinion before thinking much further. When I have mentioned similar things to dh (not due to financial issues persey, but other reasons...like the fact that he carries all the weight on his sholders of supporting our family and I can see the stress he is under in his career), his response is very "I will do anything I can to not send the kids to ps!" It would stress him more if I went back to work than it does for me to stay home and do what we are doing.
Yes, my dh would respond the same way. I just wanted to get my head on straight, before taking this to him. Only if I feel 100% like we should go forward with school, would I suggest it to him, and even then I would just need to ask him to pray about it, hard! ;) It would take the Lord to change his mind, if the kids are ever to go to school. These are just preliminary thoughts that I'm running through, to decide if it's even worth bringing up to dh. It probably won't ever make it that far.
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I don't know all of your details, but I suspect my situation is similar to yours.
All I know for sure is that I could not be the parent I want to be if I worked full time. Yes, we might have a little more financial security, but that isn't everything. What kind of parent is your husband? If he is anything like my husband he is mostly preoccupied with his job(s). He has very little energy left at the end of the day to be much of a parent. He tries, but he would be the first to admit that he doesn't give much to the children in the parenting department (besides the part about paying the bills which is obviously huge, but I'm talking about everything else).
We rent. We live pay check to pay check. We worry. Life sucks. Yadda yadda. It is what it is. Braces? I won't even bother bringing my kid to an orthodontist to ask because I know there is no way I could ever afford it. I never had braces and I'm still alive. It isn't an absolute necessity. I don't hate my parents for not providing them. I wouldn't trade the time I was able to spend with my mother for any "thing" (braces, or otherwise).
I would go to work if my husband couldn't or if we couldn't afford to buy food and pay the rent. Otherwise, I would find a way to make it work. Maybe a part time job would help a little.
I would never fault you for thinking otherwise though. You have to do what is right for you and your family. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I just wanted to tell you that you aren't the only one in this situation.
Wendy, that means so much to me, thank you. I do often feel alone, because I don't know any other homeschool families IRL who struggle financially the way that we do. I know that it's a sacrifice for everyone to live on one income, but for us it is a real hardship. And one that could be remedied so quickly, if our kids just went to school.
It would be hard for me to be a good mom if I worked, I know. And it would put more of a strain on not only me, but the kids and dh as well. And for those kinds of reasons, we probably won't send them to school. When things are just really hard, though, I feel so trapped, even though homeschooling was my own choice.
Anyway, thank you for your post. I really appeciate it!
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I also don't think it's necessarily how much money you make, it may be more about the money you have left over. It's one thing, for example, to have an income at the poverty level but your housing expenses, for example, are very low, versus having $900/mo rent. I think you should seriously evaluate your biggest expenses such as housing, transportation, and so on, and really figure out what's going on. Including if your income is so low, perhaps you could participate in various governmental and charitable programs to help with rent, food, health care, and other expenses. You may want to seek out financial advice from a reputable organization that can help you make better spending decisions and deal with the various complications that you have.
I also think you should consider if your husband could do the homeschooling and you work, and other creative arrangements such as what has been described by others. You may want to consider moving to a cheaper area/state. It also sounds to me like you need to have deeper discussions with your husband, since he seems interested in taking a lower paying job and is very much opposed to sending your kids to school.
For us, our actual income is above the poverty level. However, when our monthly debt payments are taken into account (leftover from bad decisions we made as young newlyweds, and compounded since then by not having enough money to make any progress in paying them off), it takes us well below that level. So we are having to live on that amount of money, even though dh's income is actually higher. We have cut everything down as far as we can as far as spending goes, and I really think that more income is the only thing that can help. Unfortunately, we need substantially more than we make to pay off our debt. Which is why that leads me to my need to work. Dh does understand the situation, but he operates totally on principle: It is best for our family for you to be homeschooling the kids, period. Whereas I think it is best, but not so much better than the other options that in an emergency (which is where I view us now), nothing else can be considered at all.
Thank you for your post! I appreciated your thoughts.
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When the decision is that big--makes that big of a difference--I think you end up making the decision over & over. You come back to it every year, every semester, whatever, & think, "Am I crazy???"
We hs. Right now, that puts us below the poverty level. My teaching cert just expired this summer. I could be making $50,000/yr.
I don't like to talk about it because it involves a huge range of emotions, from shame to anger to...I don't know what. How can I justify staying home w/ my kids when I have a master's degree, & dh can't find a decent job?
I do it because I believe that what I stand to lose if I don't is priceless. I'm not facing issues like braces yet, but the physical things we do without do not compete with the long-term spiritual, academic, & emotional benefits I (hope) our dc are getting from hs'ing. It comes close sometimes, but...if you can keep your eyes on what you believe...I don't know. I'd love to say there's one right answer for everybody, because that's the way my brain works.
I don't know that I have anything else beneficial to say, so I'm going to stop abruptly before I put my foot any further in my mouth.
:grouphug:
Yes, I know that you do know exactly where I'm coming from, Aubrey. And I feel that when the kids get older, and you have no babies or preschoolers at home, it's even more tempting to put the kids in school, because they are old enough to be in school. Just the thought that with one change, where your kids are educated, you could go from struggle, struggle, struggle, to having a "normal" life... and your kids could still be happy and healthy and doing well, possibly having more fun and enjoying learning even more than they do at home.... it's very tempting.
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I have been where you are about 3 or 4 times in the 17 years I have been homeschooling. Financial strain is no fun at all, so I definitely know the thought processes that compel one to see putting the kids in ps and getting a job as the only option. There are seven of us living in a 1000sf house. We live paycheck to paycheck and always have (we've been married 23 years). We live in a high cost of living area (both of us were raised here - our grandparents knew each other - so we did not move here by choice) and my dh is a blue collar worker. He has always worked two jobs - always - so that I could stay home and homeschool. After debating the idea of putting my kids in ps on several desperate occasions, I have found that my conscience simply will not allow me to do it.
I cannot sacrifice my children on the altar of public education (if you can call it education - I think it is really just socialist indoctrination) for money. My dh agrees wholeheartedly, so that helps tremendously. Our entire married lives I have strained over this because we really are squished in our house and we are always behind on some bill or another - we've even had our electricity cut off (until someone at our church found out and paid our bill for us). Some of our financial difficulty is because we made poor choices early in our marriage and some of it is due to a whole lot of medical expenses that we are struggling to pay off. It can be stressful to say the least. Nevertheless, putting my kids in ps is now the LAST - absolute LAST - thing I would do to remedy our situation. I would rather sit in the dark and eat beans for a year than put my kids in ps.
I cannot imagine it is God's will for any Christian to place their children under the tutelage of godless people. (Sure, I know there are Christian teachers out there - I used to be one of them - I'm talking about the system as a whole). That makes no sense to me at all. God wants us to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord - to train them in the way they should go - to talk about Him when we sit and lie down and walk by the way. How can we obey those commands when our children are spending nearly all their waking hours with people who deny that He even exists, or, if they do believe in Him, cannot talk about Him?
What I read in your post is that you don't see how you can work it out - that you can't figure out how to manage. I believe God always provides for our needs - not always our wants - but definitely our needs. He places us in very hard situations at times to test our dependence on Him. He is the God that provides - He never changes. When we try to "lean on our own understanding" things can sometimes (often?) look bleak. He asks us to trust Him with all our hearts. It's times like these that demand us to "cast all our care on Him because He cares for us." God's work (homeschooling), done in God's way will never lack for God's supply (Hudson Taylor, missionary to China, said that, minus the homeschooling part:)).
Evaluate all areas where you can cut back expenses; I constantly do this. Pray about how to lower the outgo. We really can live without so many things and it can be very freeing to do so. I struggled with this many times and I truly understand your pov. I've always come around to the conclusion that by the time I paid for the gas, car, work clothes, taxes, and the convenience foods that I would probably resort to due to lack of time and energy, what little money I could bring home would not be worth placing my precious children in an ungodly environment.
Oh, and I realize my thoughts on this are quite radical so let me just emphasize that these are my thoughts and I share them only in an effort to be helpful to the OP. I am not trying to persuade anyone that I'm right - just saying how I worked through this same struggle and how I dealt with it.
Thank you, Kathleen, I appreciate your thoughts here very much, and I agree with most of what you've said. The only thing I'm not so convinced of, at this time, is that homeschooling, across the board, is God's way. I tend to think that He would be just as pleased with a Christian family whose children go to school, as long as they are careful to discuss and instruct plenty when they are at home. I wish that I were convinced that homeschooling was the only valid option for the Christian-- it would make these kinds of decisions much easier!! :001_smile: I'll continue to think more about what you said, thank you.
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Our plan when we moved to FL was to put the dc in school and for me to get a job. My dh's job paid well below poverty level with no benefits. I even went to the school, talked to the registrar, etc. I had a lead on a job where both my mother and my aunt had connections. It seemed like a sure thing. Two major things changed our plans:
My 8yo has severe learning disabilities. The school's plan (because he doesn't have an IEP yet) was to test him and place him where he tested (placement tests) and then test him for LDs. The problem with that is he would have tested into K and not only is he almost 9, but he is 4'9" tall! He would've stuck out like a sore thumb.
Then, I was going to have to pay daycare for the youngest 5, which was $513 a WEEK! I probably would have gotten a job that paid in the $45-50K range to start, maybe more, but it still seemed ridiculous to pay out so much in daycare.
We ended up ditching the plan and I think that we are better off. I did apply for a part-time job at one time, but didn't ever hear back. I don't really have time and/or energy to work outside the home at this point because I have so many young children, but I was willing to do whatever I needed to.
Now, my dh has gotten a higher paying job (still well below poverty level for our family, but not AS low.) His hours, though, will make it impossible for me to work a PT job.
I will say this - through all the turmoil my dc have been through, I am so thankful that they were homeschooled! That was the only stability during the past year. I would have hated had they had to change schools several times as our lives changed.
We don't live in an apartment, but we do live in a 30-year old 1300 square foot mobile home. We will likely to be paycheck-to-paycheck for a long time - 10+ years! I have a ds who needs braces and another who needs extensive tutoring and therapy. I understand what you mean and their are days when I just can't see doing this forever. Then I think about what me going to work would entail - the stress, the changes in my dc, etc. - and I don't think I could do *that* for 10+ years either!
:grouphug:
Now that my youngest is seven, the thought of going back to work is much more tempting. Knowing that they are all old enough to be in school, and that they have the ability to do well academically, makes the financial hardship of homeschooling difficult for me to deal with at times, because school doesn't sound so bad, kwim?
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We've always chosen homeschooling over me working, but for us it's a good financial decision. My earning power is not that great and public school is not really free.
I probably sit down and make a realistic budget of what it costs for you to return to the workforce. Are there jobs in your area that will pay what you need? Homeschooling can be very budget friendly when you're living paycheck to paycheck. You can buy materials when you have a little bit of money, modify when you don't, and stretch food and clothing a lot longer.
What will it cost to send your dc to public school? You don't have to answer here, but these are some questions I'd ask myself.
- what are lunch expenses? Eating at home is cheaper
- do they require uniforms?
- can they walk or ride the bus or will transportation costs be added?
- what other fees will I need to pay?
- What will "I" need to look for a job? more car expenses? different clothing? Lunch money?
When my dh and I talked about this many years ago we decided it was much cheaper for us to keep ds at home and me continue to homeschool. We've scrapped by some years, had one car for two years (and no where to walk around here), and sometimes wandered the grocery store trying to find the cheapest meals possible.
It's not an easy decision. :grouphug:
Yes, those are considerations that I often forget about. Sigh... why does life on this earth have to require so much MONEY?? :confused:
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Well...I think the first question is, why do you homeschool? If it's just a preference, if it's just based on something circumstantial, I could see making a change.
If it's something deeper, though--I guess--well, put dh's career up against hs'ing. Is God calling you to do one & forego the other?
If your reasons to hs have anything to do w/ faith, I wouldn't put the kids in school. I'm having a really hard time saying what I mean, & I've deleted & retyped 3 times, so hopefully I'm making sense.
Someone recently told me that we have a tendency to think we can be unfaithful in small things in order to get to the big thing, & we think that *then* we can be faithful. But now is all we have.
This may be totally irrelevant to you, but as a hs'er whose dh quit his job to come to seminary, it's what I've got. :001_smile:
My main reasons for homeschooling are faith-related, and based on principle. However, I don't feel commanded by God to homeschool, and so I don't feel that we would be disobeying Him by sending the kids to school, either. All other things being equal, I think it's generally best to homeschool, but in our case they are so *not* equal, that it makes me have to continually reevaluate.
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I also wanted to say, not everything is clearly God's will or not. I would try to get some counseling/financial counseling if you have it available at your church, so they can maybe give you some good tips to get out of debt and start saving. I say this from experience. We've done this! :)
The hugest thing I've learned as I've gotten older is to seek wise and Godly counsel. If ONLY, If ONLY we had done this much earlier in our marriage/life.
I agree, this would be a good idea. There is an older couple at our church who have taught finance classes before, and they live right around the corner from us. I'll talk to dh about giving them a call. Thank you!
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Follow up: Oops. I accidentally replaced my original post with this reply:
Thank you so much for all of your responses! I really appreciate all of the suggestions, thoughts, encouragement, and wise words. You've given me a lot to think about. On the one hand, I can't really ever see sending my kids to school, especially considering how passionate about homeschooling my dh is, (and I am for the most part, but I'm not as single-minded as he is), and how much we all enjoy it. At the same time, we've been struggling to get by ever since we got married, 14 years ago, and it is getting OLD. And many, many children go to school, even public school, and turn out just great, so it's hard at times to view homeschooling as the only possible option for our kids, when it takes such a *huge* economic toll on us. That's what it really boils down to, for me. I really don't think we will send our kids to school, but I am so bone-tired of this particular struggle, I guess I'd rather trade them for a different one, even if that option is less than ideal too.
Thank you again for all of your help!
Erica
Just finished my first week of Weight Watchers....
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
and I lost *four pounds*!!!! :party:
Some of you might have read my posts about exercising like crazy and losing no weight in months, so you can imagine how excited I am to have lost 4 pounds in one week!! I weighed in last night for the first time at the meeting, and when she said "Four pounds" I almost fell over! I feel so relieved, and so hopeful that I will actually be able to lose weight now. I have attemped WW two times before, but I was always worried about the money so I would just go for a few weeks until I knew the system, then leave, thinking I could just go it on my own. This time, it is covered by insurance, so I am staying until I reach my goal weight. It is exciting to think that I could be there by the end of this spring!!
It was especially exciting because I did not feel deprived at all this week. There were days when I actually found it hard to eat all the points I was supposed to have in a day. And on Sunday we had our church Thanksgiving dinner, and I had a full plate plus dessert (yum!!), but I used my weekly extra points, so it was fine.
Anyway, wanted to share my good news!!! :001_smile: