WinsomeCreek
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Posts posted by WinsomeCreek
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Wonderful!! Welcome sweet baby!
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I buy products to support a family in transition. It's still one of the better ways for a mom to make some money and have flexibility. I'm also sentimental because a very dear family member (now deceased) sold this particular product. I don't really need any of the items I buy and can definitely get cheaper items at the store, but the products are good and a wonderful family benefits.
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No, other than maybe unavoidably because they are talking to me while I am reading. We have talked about some of the threads. They know that for years I have discovered some of our favorite resources here.
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I put other because I tip when it is deserved. I'm a generous tipper. On the other hand I'm often unimpressed with the cleaning at hotels. It helps to know who did the work. I appreciate when cards with names of cleaning staff are left in the room. It's also easier to tip the right people over the course of a longer stay. Interesting poll. Off to look for the thread that inspired it.
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It sounds like you are getting monitored and treated, which is good. Please keep tabs on your bp and be aggressive advocating for yourself. I think it was at the week and a half point that I was at the ER. Folks only seemed to have HELLP on the radar. You are in good hands given that you are already scheduled for the echo. Wishing you full recovery and good health!
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Unfortunately after this post, I have heard negative reviews of every single online class provider. It seems that while some have positive experiences, others have negative. Scholars Online has some horrible reviews on this board if you search, but IRL I know homeschoolers I very much respect who had a great experience with their classes. Even the provider we used this year and were pleased with was called a "waste" by others here. I'm also starting to wonder if *anyone* does online science well, since the vast majority of the negative reviews across the board are regarding science classes. I'm thinking that every online class is somewhat of a risk at this point and so much depends on expectations and individual fit. I am sorry for that response though. That was uncalled for.
Agree. I expect positive and negative experiences to be had with any provider or curriculum for a variety of reasons. We had a less than stellar online class with CTY, but there was no backlash and we won't rule out future classes with them. That a director would be punitive and snarky puts this in a different catagory. The misfits tell me as much about good fit as the rave reviews. Sorry this happened to you OP.
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Congratulations!!
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except . . . .he's *not* "just" a youth worker. he's a p.u.b.l.i.c. S.c.h.o.o.l. teacher. unless this state is "really" bad, I guarantee, he's had all the training.
As to this and addressing what Joanne mentioned: I have also had Basic volunteer training. This man (we are not talking about a 30 yo even, but late 30s) has been trained. He absolutely, without a doubt knows that what he is doing goes against all of that training. His intentions are not the point. The point is that he IS doing classic grooming behaviors that are warned about in pretty much every training. So yes, this man is communicating with you via his actions. I recommend having your daughter read or go through scouting or other training. See what she thinks then. And it sounds like the church could use some help here too. Please talk to the other parents of both current and prior members. If nothing else, set up a parent list yourself among all parents that the YP must go through. I hope you will update because it concerns me that this man is a PS teacher and I wonder how he is with his students. I also agree with the poster (sorry that I don't recall who) who said your job isn't to be cool, but to be mom. Good for you for protecting your daughter with all that you have on your plate. I know it can be much easier to not raise a fuss, especially being new to the group and finding a place for a young teen. But if you read this as written by someone else it would be much clearer to you that you're right to protect your kid.
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If one of your friends mentioned you and the relative in a pm then fb could track it. So the friend and relative be might be fb friends and have talked about going out with you. Or maybe you never noticed the relatives before they were brought to your attention. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you....
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After reading your second post about this LATE 30s SCHOOL TEACHER who only has a family member help supervise, I no longer give him the excuse of ignorance. Clearly, training won't help. Please pull your daughter out until this is resolved and better protections are in place for everyone.
ETA: For your daughter- my tweens have smart phones and are allowed to text. Your mom pulled your phone for the right reasons.
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I see flags. Even if this guy has the best intentions, his actions are the subtle kinds used to groom kids. I wouldn't want my younger teens getting the message that this is ok. It would make them vulnerable to guys intentionally grooming. I don't buy that he can't figure out his text or email issues. Give me a break. What really bothers me is the middle of the night dining 40 mins away. Somehow it screams to me desperation to be that cool "breakin' the rules" guy. I'm pretty sure your 13 yo can easily find a group of older teens+ to do that with. I guess I would expect a youth pastor to be more open about what may or may not happen on an overnight. Out driving at 1 am without my permission would tick me off and I would imagine be a nightmare for the church should anything happen.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can offer some practical living issues since I am often alone with my 4, but what you're going through is so much harder than my sort of psuedo singleness.
The most important thing is to have a break option. It sounds like you have parents that can help. That's huge. I've had babysitters, but my favorite back up is the gym. Find a YMCA or gym with child care. This serves as a reliable lifeline when you need to think, get business done, sometimes just read or eat junk food. But the gym presence means greater pressure to exercise- something important for good mental and physical health. This would be worthwhile even with your parents available.
Look into parent's night out options all over town. Good places to check include YMCA, gyms, gaming stores, churches, schools, kid related centers.
Pare down the household. Less stuff means less to clean. If you have storage room just box up a bunch of stuff and rotate what you keep in the house as useable.
Stock up on healthy quick meal options. If you get healthier food you won't feel as guilty about the frequency of instant meal use. I love Trader Joes. Also teach the kids to cook and to store meals. My older two frequently help. That also helps cut down complaints about dinner. Keep paper/plastic place settings on hand.
I'm an introvert so the social part is the hardest for me and I tend not to accept help. The reality is that a lot of people struggle. Take what help you have from friends and family, but try to keep the interactions positive as much as possible, especially since this may be long term.
On the personal side, be gentle with yourself. When things seem most dire, go find some humor. Read funny things, watch comedies. I can't stress enough how much laughter is a mood shifter. Don't feel guilty about feeling good. If you won't do it for yourself, find happiness for your kids' sake. It can impact your physical health. Of course I don't know the back story, but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around your dh's desire to totally cut contact with his kids. Is this a self sacrifice thing or selfish thing? Regardless, please put your kids first, which means taking care of the mom who has to protect and care for them. If dad abandons them, they'll need you more than ever.
((Hugs)) and all the best to you
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For a while I felt generally ill. Then when everyone else had some GI bug, vomited and recovered, I puked bile all day until I couldn't stand. When I finally ate again two days later it was clear something was wrong. I had a full blown attack- severe pain in the right side just under my rib cage, super tender. The first step is you should get in for an abdominal ultrasound. I consider myself lucky in having sludge rather than stones. If you have stones pretty much you will be told to take out your gallbladder. With sludge I have instead completely revised my diet to vegan, cutting fat entirely. I cannot eat nuts. I cannot cook with oils. So far only soybean oil does not make me sick. I was a whole milk, butter, chocoholic so this is painfully life changing and I am only a week and a half in. I have not found any evidence based studies showing cleansing works, but I have added drinking lemon/ginger water to my diet. Not sure Apple cider vinegar is doable yet. Blech.
Get the ultrasound so you know what's going on. Meanwhile, have you tried antacids? Use Prilosec for a week and see if it helps. On the bright side, I have heard a couple of people IRL who had their gallbladder removed and life went back to normal. Good luck.
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Does anyone know about Roberson and Sons Violin Shop in Albuquerque?
We have used them in the past. They have excellent customer service, great prices and reliably good quality instruments. We use a local place now so that ds could try out and select an instrument. I can easily recommend Robertson and Sons though. FYI we're in WA and shipping was always fast, returns easy.
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OMG!! Yay!! Congratulations!!! Your son and your pathway are such an inspiration. I'm sure there are more successes to come! It is especially helpful to hear about the hard work aspect. Often amazing people or accomplishments are portrayed as easy breezy when that's rarely the case.
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Coming up again.😊
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We had lousy luck with brokers. We ended up dealing directly with the mortgage holder and it was so easy. I suppose their reps are brokers, but only for them. Pm if you want the company. They were fair. We have used them twice.
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((Hugs)) You're a good mom with an extraordinary boy.
I hear it will get easier with age. Maybe it's time to work on diplomacy/politics of avoidance. But really, the reporter was a jerk. Who knows or cares what motivated him. I've seen first hand how media manipulates stories. We declined a request by a reporter less than two months ago to write an article about ds10. The last time someone I knew allowed an interview with that paper with the requirement that they see the article prior to publishing, the article was still completely different when it went to press. Even kids deserve the chance to write their own story, not have it invented, interpreted or twisted by others.
You did great! Keep being polite, patient and don't feed the (media) trolls. Maybe keep an eye out for high integrity journalists to work with?
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Updating that we had a great trip! We formed some special new bonds and strengthened old ones. We also have a staycation planned for later this month where Dh said he would make sure to be inaccessible to work! A reminder to myself to be heard and that Dh is coming from a place of love, even though he has his flaws.
It did help to vent here and get opinions not weighted with emotional history.
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Nice to be understood.☺ï¸
Looking at it through some of your eyes I can see how it really wasn't framed as a family vacation. I used the event to force the issue of getting away together. But this was about the event and bringing people together. I have to not be afraid to demand a family vacation just because we deserve one.
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This is an issue. After a day of socializing I wasn't interested in going out on the town.Not just guys. It took several blow ups before I realized dh didn't like me inviting others/staying out longer than planned because it was fun/ spending the evening with people we just met really bothered him. I would get caught up in all the fun I was having and not even notice he was uncomfortable. All that needs hashed out but not on vacation. A better time is when all are relaxed.
Also, some folks just don't really want to do family oriented or kid things. A ball game or dance recital is torture for dh. Dh just doesn't soooo I do those things with my friends and their kids. He does movies or lunch. YMMV but you have to let each other know what you need and find your own middle.
Edited bc too personal
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you've had good advice.
this is structured to not work the way you had hoped.
you are preaching to the choir with me. i actually cannot recall a vacation where dh did not work some or most of the time. (he does conference calls for hours when we are on a family trip to disneyland, for example). i have solved this by fully embracing camping where there is no cell reception or internet.
but for all those other times, here are some of the things i do.
a) go for moments or hours, not days. eg. order breakfast in bed for the whole family. or take the whole family for an early morning swim.
b) ask each person to put on a piece of paper three things they'd like to do with the time that is left. stipulate one thing with friends, one thing with family and one thing with siblings/spouse. then commit to making sure that each person gets at least one thing on their list before you leave. it was amazing to me how just getting one thing each transformed our vacations and our attitudes towards one another.
c) buy really good books/movies etc. also chocolate, or whatever else you enjoy.
fwiw, in my experience, when they have been away from family so much there is almost no way they can manage 24/7 with us. they haven't the skills or the expectations. so moments or events help the reintegration better than days or weeks.
i also cope with it by deciding it is my vacation, and i plan it. i ask him when he'll be around, and then i plan the other times. when he is going to be around, i ask questions like, "so would you like a quiet family time or a sight seeing time?" and then make suggestions. once he gets going, my dh is good at making suggestions, but it sometimes takes a while for that to kick in. i would love it if he'd plan it, but that is not the way he comes wired.
one idea is to recruit the family who moved to the room next to you, and ask them to watch the kids so your dh and you can have breakfast together or dinner together or dessert together or ???
fwiw,
ann
ps. and in the long term..... good luck. we have worked like this in our daily lives, too. i will bring breakfast to bed, etc, etc. and gradually he has learned and carves out time for us, too. but its gradual, and can go sideways in a heartbeat.
This is gold. I need to think smaller. I hung my expectations on a grand vacation when really I need to be looking for that 30 minutes of focused time. Mybe I can try that here and start the process. Thank you.
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Thank you. Oh my gosh- SO many wise words and perspectives here. Not all represent my situation, but good to think about.
The impetus for this trip was the event. We turned it into a family vacation because we have never taken one. We're always so busy. This became a reunion of sorts as Dh started inviting people. Some of the people then contacted other people....
I would say time/talk is my love language. Dh is touch and affirmation. He is very proud of us, especially of ds who performed in NYC, and wanted to share that. He gets so much out of putting his arm around me publicly. He's just meeting his needs. Locally he is very low key so this gives him a chance to puff up a bit. He deserves that. I also don't begrudge him spending all night with his friends, except that this cost me that time.
I do ask for or state what I want, but he never hears a first pass. It takes more repetition and volume or confrontation. I have a problem saying no and asserting my needs. I truly don't resent doing a lot alone. It's more that when I need to have that together time, it's seldom available and I don't force the issue. I am starving for alone time though.
Dh provides for us and is happy to have me spend every dime he makes on myself or the kids. I like controlling our day to day. All in all for us the separate tasks works mostly well. Time seems to be our scarce resource. I feel that isolated time together is what we need much more than counseling. Dh agrees. So I guess I could best describe it as he has a thick layer to get through and I'm not aggressive enough to make it happen. He does also have that nasty habit of always being tech connected thus working.
No, at this point this is not a family vacation. I am accepting what this is and enjoying it.
We had a great morning with friends and have reserved the afternoon for ourselves. I plan on looking into remote beach getaways and getting over my frugal nature enough to book a trip. Dh will show if I email the itinerary and arrange his days off. He actually prefers when I am his executive assistant. I gave up that role a few years back, but in the short term maybe need to revive it. I think greater changes need to be approached slowly- like turning a freighter. We've made them before. It's possible. There are some fundamental changes I have to make in myself at this point if I want to change the relationship. But when there's never a quiet moment to think or together time to talk....
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We briefly talked- after I yelled at him. He has agreed to set limits on social time and make sure our family has our own time. Part of the problem is that I suck at saying no. He wants the action, hasn't seen these friends in some time and now we have set up a situation where he knows I feel guilty and will invite everyone or say go ahead. We're both obvious, but there it is. He already told folks our plans for today. One friend has to go home later today, leaving it as our only day to spend with that family. Every day we are here has something like that. I think we'll end up blocking out specific family outings or meals.
The problem is we never have time to talk. This vacation was for me at least going to finally be time for that. I'll admit to jealousy as well. He wasn't out doing anything nefarious. They spent the night talking, catching up. It's just that I wanted that for myself and his time and energy for our family.
Calculus for Fall- AP class necessary for taking AP test?
in High School and Self-Education Board
Posted
Ds took precalc last school year. This school year he did number theory, counting and probability (AoPS) and has been working with a mentor on proof writing. He refused to do algebra based physics, preferring to wait until he has the calculus under his belt and do the 'real thing.' So we are looking at calculus options for fall. We're considering BYU online high school (because he will get high school credit and have local proctors available for exams) or PA homeschoolers (because they offer AP classes). Ds will be able to take AP tests at the local high school.
Anyone have experience with these? Is it ok that the BYU course is not an AP course specifically? Any other good options? Ds is really starting to appreciate the social part of online coursework. He is young, but is ridiculously mature. Does PA Homeschoolers have a good social/group work component? FYI- he is not ready for AoPS calculus. Regular high school calculus will be fairly easy, but AoPS too hard so maybe AP is in between?
Thanks!