*anj*
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Posts posted by *anj*
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I know! Isn't that the funny thing about it?
His dad was Italian, and he most closely identifies with that.
But his mom, being Irish, wants to assert herself. The strange thing is that she mostly waits til St. Patrick's Day to do so. So all year long it's "Where's the brasciole, pasta fazoul, feed me pasta 4 days a week" but then for ONE day the Irish eyes are smiling as they gaze on soda bread and corned beef.
Too funny!:lol:
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Really?? How can that be???
Who are you talking to? :)
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My other objection, which applies to things a little lower on the scale than 200K weddings, is to the way our society sets these expectations for weddings... and the harm it does to so many couples. I've seen a woman heartbroken because they can't have a 'real' wedding, the live-in-fiance of a relative postponed their wedding until they could afford to 'do it right', another friend incurred incredible debt to have the wedding of her dreams... when those who can afford it set that example, it sets other people's expectations... and those who can't afford it don't want to miss out on 'the perfect wedding'.
Yes, yes, yes.
My parents had a very small wedding, even by 60's standards. They always told me (I mean like from the time I was old enough to start fantasizing about a "dream wedding") that among their circle of friends when they got married only two remained married. They told me about the fancy weddings that some had had, only to end up divorced within a couple of years. My parents did not have anything fancy, nor did/do they have an easy marriage, but they have had the glue that bound them together lo these many years. So they always impressed on me how much more important it was to have a commitment to your relationship than to have a Big, Fat, Choose-the-ethnicity Wedding.
And it is hard to say these things without sounding condemning (and I don't mean it that way either.) I know that the two are not mutually exclusive. But I've also lived on the East Coast all my life, and in this area for a large percentage of it and I can tell you that even if they didn't go into debt for it, even if the money had long been saved, even if they are truly committed to building a life together, the status quo for what makes a wedding "nice" is obscenely extravagant. I cannot watch these tv shows about monster brides because I just don't find it entertaining to see women focus so much on trappings and so little on inner beauty.
And yes, I've seen people live together too while they save up for a "real wedding." We had a couple at my old church who had introduced themselves as engaged, but eventually it was discovered that they owned a home together. There wedding was still about two years off. Elders in the church spoke to them very lovingly, asked them to please go ahead and get married now. There was a woman who offered to house the bride and throw them a small wedding...now. They tearfully refused and left the church. It was very sad. And I know very well how they were treated because I was involved in the situation too, so I can tell you that they were not treated like lepers or anything, but with love and compassion because there are many of us who have gone down that road.
Okay, I have things to do. Gotta go!
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We didn't have much money. My parents were willing to pay the catering bill, and his parents wanted to give us a honeymoon as their gift. They also paid for the rehearsal dinner. We paid for everything else.
I bought my dress off a clearance rack for about $100. I was happy with it, and I felt relieved to check it off my list.
My flower girls wore cute little girl dresses from JCPenney.
My bridesmaids wore pretty spring dresses from Lord and Taylor.
I made my own veil for maybe $10.
The flowers were pretty, but not terribly expensive.
We did spend money on a photographer. We probably paid about $800 for the pictures, but they are really nice, and we have all the proofs.
We had a friend who was a film student at the time and he did the video.
My aunt made the legendary cake.
The reception took place in the fellowship hall of our church.
So the whole thing cost about $6000, including the honeymoon. That was 14 years ago, and it was a major bargain basement wedding for this area.
A few months ago we attended a wedding, and it was the polar opposite of ours. It was a wedding fit for a king, they spared no expense. We think they had to have spent well over $100,000 on that wedding. It was really, really lovely. We had a great time, the food was just spectacular. I felt honored to be a guest at such an event, but I could never have done that. Even if we'd had the money. I would've bought a house if I had that kind of money. It's just one day of your life, and then it's over.
Anyway, our friends still talk about the fabulous time they had at our el cheapo wedding. And our marriage is strong and grounded, and we've built a great life together. So there you go! :)
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Abbey,
Those cakes really were amazing. You did a great job! I am so impressed that you have the talent and patience to do something like that. Excellent!
Oh, and refresh my memory:
Why did I think that your dh published books, sold recordings, and created video games? Does he do all of that and then teach too? Wow!! :001_smile:
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Thanks!! It worked pretty well. There is only enough left for about one sandwich, so I guess they liked it, eh?
Oh, and my husband's been asleep for about 3 hours too. This reminds me of Doran's thread from a couple of weeks ago. I will regret this in the morning, but right now it's soooo nice to be in a quiet house!
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:grouphug: Oh Anj, it appears you've graduated from my school of disaster cooking! I'm so sorry - I do this kind of thing all the time. What did you end up doing (obviously I haven't read the other posts)?
Wellll...
I poured off some of the burnt beer and added water in an effort to sort of deglaze the pot. I added a bay leaf, an onion, one whole potato and some garlic, then I let it simmer. It really softened up within about an hour. I had to cook the veggies in a separate pot, though. All in all, it could've been a lot worse.
Thanks so much! Don't we all have one of those disasters sometime? I'm glad it worked out, but for awhile I thought I'd need to run out for some deli corned beef, you know? ;)
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Some mils have a way of doing that to a person, doncha think?
Sometimes a highway that only goes in one direction is a thing of beauty. I love mine, but it's nice that she's not so, um... convenient. :D
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Ah, then you blink and say, "Mom, do I LOOK Irish to you? I mean... [puzzled look]?"
:hat:
Corn beef and eggs. That's what you do with the leftovers. Oh. My. Heavens. Comfort food extraordinaire.
But oh, my dear...one woman's St. Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage is another woman's New England Boiled Dinner. And we ate it when I was growing up there. I've been cooking this dinner for about 20 years and this is the first time I messed it up. Oh well. It worked. :D
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It's something that many English people find hard to understand. Without the history of displacement/emigration, we just don't talk about it and find it odd in others. When an American says to me, 'I'm English,' I always feel like saying, 'No, you're not.' Now 'English-American' I can understand, but 'English' (or Irish, or Welsh, or German.....) on it's own just doesn't sound right to me.
Laura
Laura,
This is kind of what I was talking about. People say "I'm English" for instance, but what does that really mean to them? I mean, my mom's family has been in North Carolina for generations, but I never lived there. Does that make me kind of from there? That's what I mean. I know all the food, the land is beautiful, I was raised in a southern style home, but what does that mean, really?
I don't know. It's very interesting to hear everyone's take on things. Much food for thought.
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Maybe we're all related! :)
wouldn't that be funny?
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Yes, they actually really liked it. It came out pretty well after all. The veggies were a little bland because I couldn't cook them along with the meat, but it was tasty otherwise.
Oh, and Mrs Mungo: it is a major big deal around here. My mil will want to know if her boy got his corned beef and cabbage, let me tell you. Pulleeeze!:tongue_smilie:
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Thanks, ladies!
I put a whole potato in. The meat is getting more tender already. It should be ready to eat in a few minutes.
Thanks again!! :001_smile:
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Okay, so I poured a bottle of Very Dark Beer over my corned beef. I have it on the stove because I didn't start it early enough for the crock pot. I started doing something else and didn't realize the heat was up so high and the beer evaporated and there was this dark burnt stuff on the bottom of the pot.
So guess what I did?
Poured water in. So now the meat is simmering in burnt beer.
And it's still tough.
And dinner is in an hour.
Can we just eat scones for dinner?
Maybe I can drive down to Ms. D and eat her leftovers?
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that area, ethnicity is highly important. There are German fests, Irish fests, and Italian fests. Where I lived, it was a very Catholic area and largely Irish and Italian.
Have you ever gone to that huge Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Festival? Where is it? Hammonton, I think? My dh was born in Philly and grew up in South Jersey and he has fond memories of going to that.
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I didn't really realize the thread has taken such a negative turn while I was typing.
I'm really bummed that it's taking such a negative turn, because I have really enjoyed hearing from people.
Can we try to keep it from getting locked down? Please?
To quote the not so late, not so great Rodney King: "Can't we all just get along?"
:o
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I still have relatives in Abruzzi whom I plan to drop in on some day. :)
My dh has relatives in Abruzzi too.
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What I am saying fits in with the thread. And I'll answer it before it is said--if I could leave, I would. In a hot minute.
Okay, now I'm hijacking my own thread, but...
Where would you prefer to live? That is not being voiced in an antagonistic way at all, it doesn't matter to me, I am not threatened by the fact that you'd rather live elsewhere...I'm just curious...you know like if you were sitting across the table from me and you said something provocative like that I'd say "Really? Where would you go?"
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I've been following the ethnicity threads with interest. I really don't identify with that line of thinking at all, and it makes me wonder if I'm just odd or is it that important to people?
I guess I'm especially thinking of the people who say they're 1/8 or less of some nationality. Does it have any bearing on who you are? I've likewise been kind of confused about shirts that say "XYZ and Proud." I usually reserve pride for something that I've accomplished or contributed to. Your ethnic background is merely genetic makeup for which you can take no credit. It's not as if you chose well when you decided to be (fill in the blank.)
I'm honestly not meaning to be snarky. Truly. It's just one of those things that I've pondered off and on and it comes to mind on a day like St. Patrick's Day so I thought I could get some good input here.
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City or country?
Country.
Scones or Soda Bread?
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Pam said:
Oh, I said that. And then I erased it, because I worry that people think I'm a horrible person sometimes. But I'd do it. And I wouldn't hand them peanut butter, either. You're much nicer than I would be.Kelli said:
Really, it'll be a "cleansing" experience for him, in more ways than one.Now you guys know why you're two of my favorite people here!!!
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Dream on, Megsmachine!!!!
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Surf or turf?
That is a toughie! I guess...surf!
tulips or roses?
A Little Science in the Kitchen to Help the Grocery Bill
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
By Mary Hunt
By now you may have picked up on the fact that I, your humble columnist, am on a quest to stop being so wasteful.
I’ve started in the kitchen, employing every tip and trick out there for making food—especially fresh produce—last long enough to be used up. I’m tired of my garbage disposal being the best-fed member of the family.
A recent tip from a reader, who said the best way to ripen a banana is to stick it into a paper bag with an apple, reminded me of something called ethylene gas. I know, that is an odd association, but you’re about to understand why this is so important.
Most fruits and vegetables generate ethylene gas while they ripen. This gas is a very active plant hormone. I’ve learned the hard way that when I am not organized, good old ethylene can ruin the vegetables, turn the bananas black and jack up my food bill in a big hurry.
Leafy vegetables—even very small amounts—are very sensitive to ethylene. Lettuce, for example, begins to decay when exposed to ethylene gas, even in the refrigerator. Items particularly sensitive to ethylene gas, such as broccoli and bananas, will spoil quickly if stored in the same area as avocados, melons, and apples, which are ethylene producers.
This means we need to keep our vegetables away from the fruits to make our fresh foods last longer. This may explain why your refrigerator has two crisper drawers.
These Create Ethylene Gas: apples, apricots, avocados, bananas, blueberries, cantaloupe, citrus fruits (except grapefruit), cranberries, figs, guavas, grapes, green onions, honeydew, ripe kiwi fruit, mangoes, melons, mushrooms, nectarines, okra, papayas, passion fruit, peaches, pears, persimmons, pineapple, plantains, plums, prunes, quinces, tomatoes and watermelon.
These Become Damaged by Ethylene Gas: asparagus, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, chard, cucumbers, cut flowers, eggplant, endive, escarole, florist greens, green beans, kale, kiwi fruit, leafy greens, lettuce, parsley, peas, potatoes, potted plants, romaine lettuce, spinach, squash, sweet potatoes, watercress and yams.
Of course you can use ethylene gas to your favor. Try this: Place an unripe avocado in a plastic or paper bag by itself and it will ripen much more quickly because the ethylene gas is trapped inside and becomes concentrated.
Ditto for bananas. Since they produce ethylene, they can be manipulated to ripen themselves more quickly inside a bag than if left out in the open air. And remember to add an apple to the bag when you’re in a big hurry, since apples are big-time ethylene producers!