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Doran

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Posts posted by Doran

  1. I just talked to my dad. I have to rely on him for information since the only phone numbers I have are home land lines, and my uncle is calling Dad only when he knows something new.

     

    This morning they say they believe it is a virus that appears to be spreading rapidly. I asked, "What sort of virus?" but my dad didn't know.

    He said they are trying to get it under control before her lungs become involved and a respirator is necessary.

    I asked what tests had been run, but he didn't know that either.

     

    It all seems so bizarre to me, so coincidental that she has some strange virus that didn't attack until the day after her surgery.

     

    :confused:

     

    I am going to try to gather more information, but I don't think my dad is asking any questions when he gets his brother on the phone. He is just taking the information my uncle gives him and calling my sisters and me to share it.

     

     

    How frightening. Keeping Amanda in my thoughts. :sad:

  2. Well, the CAT scan was inconclusive. Or, it didn't show an obvious problem. But it "might" be pre-appendicitis. Great. So we have to watch him over the weekend and see how he feels.

     

    In the meantime, I am trapped in a sound booth listening to a live "infomercial" about getting rich quick. Nice!

     

     

    I missed this yesterday. How is E today? Goodness, the things we have to juggle!

  3. I like to be in bed before 10, even on holidays. My kids are now at the age they want to stay up late, just because they think that's what teenagers do. Part of teenage rebellion I think :)

    I make them go to bed by 9 on schooldays. But on holidays and weekends I am much less rigid about it. Last night we had dinner across the road with friends and dh and I came home about 9pm. Dd15 stayed over there till 11.45 (she had a midnight kerfew). However, although I went to sleep, I knew dh would stay up till dd got home, and he did.

     

    This resonates with me. I think "that's what teenagers do", and I'm trying to come to terms with that. School days are kind of a different story. We try to hold to a more formal bedtime when everyone has to get up early the next day. But, even then, there are times when I could see myself slipping off to bed before the kids. I don't, though. Just doesn't feel like I've completed my job by turning in before them. And, that feeling lingers into summer when they want to and are allowed to stay up later.

     

    Staying up when kids aren't home yet? That's a whole other story. One of us will always be up to greet the child who is, for some reason, out late. She can count on that. :tongue_smilie:

  4. Right now, the OTHERS are winning, but only Luanne has explained why she made that choice. Would you Others please explain? :D

     

     

    And, Luanne, I do see your point. I suppose that going to bed at the same time ranks as a "No" for me. If they are in bed, with their lights out, it feels different to me than if they are up, reading, even if they're in their beds. It feels like the day is done. But, like Crissy, I somehow feel like less of a mother if I turn in while they are still fully engaged in being awake.

     

    (Oh -- and HI MRS. MUNGO!!)

  5. We have two girls -- one almost 15 and the other 12.5. The oldest has never seemed to need as much sleep as the youngest. Currently, she goes to bed in the range of 11:00 pm and gets up for volunteer work at 7:30 am. Her younger sister is up until 10:30ish and sleeps until 9:00 am. Me? Some nights, I'm awake as long as they are. Other times, I'm ready to crash at 10:00. It feels so bizarre (wrong, even) going to bed before them. :001_huh: But, I have no logical explanation for why that is. What about you?

  6. Since moving to a new house and having a yard, I started a compost pile for the first time. My city gave me a compost "bin", which actually is an old trash can with the bottom cut off and holes drilled in the sides. So it's basically an open barrel. We've only had it for less than 2 months and we have tons of flies. Not just regular flies, but flies that are about an inch long and nasty looking. You can hear and see the maggots moving around the garbage! I'm literally having nightdmares about maggots. They are thick, long, and brown.

     

    What can I do to stop the maggot production? I can't afford to buy another composter ($200). Another thing I don't like about this bin is that I can't really turn the compost around. What should I do?

     

     

    I don't blame you for being turned off by the flies. There's no absolute solution, and I dare say ANY solution will be trickier with the system you're using. Pity, since that's what the city provides.

     

    My suggestions are these:

     

    1. Dump out what you have in the bin and turn it with a fork. Turning it every day is your best solution against infestations of flies.

     

    2. Certain products are more attractive to flies than others. Animal waste, of course, though I doubt you're adding that. Tomatoes (go figure), and some other vegetable matter is attractive as well. As a rule, anytime you add something fresh, you should cover it with something dry....leaves, wood shavings...sand. That will keep the fresh stuff from being available to the flies.

     

    3. As mentioned above, certainly don't add fatty foods or meats to your bin.

     

    Not sure you're willing to go to that much effort or if either of those first two ideas is practical where you are. Hope this helps.

  7. Your counsel is always so wise and you always seem to say exactly what I need to hear in the way I need to hear it, usually with a touch of humor.

     

    It is so nice to see you post. We don't hear from you near enough on the board these days. Hope you are doing well.

     

    Thanks, Kids. That was nice to read. We're doing well, and I hope you are, too. :001_smile:

  8. Viewing porn is not grounds for leaving, in my book. Unless I felt there were addictive tendencies being revealed, or that the porn was merely a symptom of other, deeper issues in the marriage, I wouldn't even get involved in trying to determine consequences. That doesn't mean I love the idea of "soft porn", or even remotely condone it, but the thought of consequences seems inappropriate in this case. He's not my child.

     

    The reasoning behind my above sentiments is that, yes, intellectually, I understand why men might view porn (KingM's post captures this). Still, as a woman, I can't quite come to terms with it emotionally. I imagine that it represents betrayal or dissatisfaction, even though there has been no evidence of this from my husband. So, I strive to focus on what I see and feel between us rather than what I see or feel about the choice to view porn. What's important is that I feel loved, respected, supported, and desired in a healthy fashion, not that we feel differently about porn.

     

    That said, I find that my husband's desire to look elsewhere for sexual stimulation disappears almost entirely when I am more available to him physically. I have also discovered that a small cache of alluring (ahem!) pictures of ME are his favorite visual stimulation for the in between times. :D

     

    Hope this helps.

  9. We're growing 3 kinds of peas and I'm wondering if we can let any of them go until they're dry to make pea soup with in the winter. The kinds we have are telephone pole peas, Little Marvel and some kind of grey dwarf (I could look it up if neither of the first 2 will work.)

     

    If none of those are good, what are some good heirloom suggestions for next year?

     

    Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I've been away on vacation (a 10 day trip to Ireland thanks to my mother!! :D)

     

    I have never dried my own peas, but I'd say that any of the peas you're growing would be suitable. In case you don't already know this, you'll have to leave the peas on the vine until they are completely, or very nearly dry at which point you could spread them out in a shallow basket to dry the rest of the way. They won't dry properly if you pick them fresh and try to dry them indoors. Remember, you can also pick them fresh and freeze them. Yum! I'd love to know how it turns out for you. You must have a lot of peas planted! Ours would have never made it to the drying stage, we eat them so quickly while fresh. ;)

  10. She does whatever I tells me to. :lol:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    No house cleaning help here. My mother had help for years, though. The paid help did all the real cleaning work -- floors, kitchen, bathrooms, dusting (as mentioned in other threads) -- weekly or more likely, semi-monthly. Windows, baseboards, silver polishing, patio furniture cleaning and the like were added in as needed. Some have also done laundry.

  11. Having a dvd player in the car would encourage my children to watch movies in the car. :blink:

     

     

     

    Seriously, our kids are 14 and 12 and while we haven't driven across country, we've managed a fair amount of going up and down the east coast without having the benefit of movies to watch. I figure that while we're on vacation, wherever it is we're going, we'll watch more than our share of mind-fry. Might as well try to engage in some other activities while we're cooped up in the car all ready to bite each other's heads off. :lol: So, for us, it's 20 Questions, music, books on cd, personal music and/or cd players, small toys, Travel Bingo, etc. Granted, we take an arsenal of "keep me busy" stuff along, but no dvds.

     

    Hope this helps!

  12. what do you do? What do you do if 20 years later you still have flashbacks and nightmares and even reading a good book like "Protecting the Gift" can trigger immense sadness? Are there books that help? Does talking to someone actually help? (Although there has been talk with doctors, and some wise people in the past it's never been a therapist trained in talking about such). And if you do go to a therapist - how do you know you'll find one who has any more insight or wisdom that the doctors and wise friends you've already talked to? And how can you justify using money that is badly needed for necessities for something that is no longer an "emergency"? On the surface things are fine. I'm functional, happy and even help others. So is that good enough if there is still this hidden part that is damaged? Or is that as good as it gets?

     

     

     

    I'm so sorry for your sadness. Not knowing much about the circumstances, I would still feel comfortable saying that you deserve the "self indulgence" required to get at this nugget of pain that dwells within you. I imagine, with some carefully phrased questions, you can source out a therapist who might be of help to you. Complete healing and self acceptance is not frivolous. The legacy of this sadness within you may be influencing your daughters, or more specifically, your behavior towards them, in ways you can't even name. Letting go of something rooted so deeply inside you will take work - hard work - but there is no doubt in my mind that the promise of freedom from it would be worth the effort and expense.

     

    Peace,

  13. Ann,

     

    I'm glad to read that you feel things are getting better for you, but I thought I'd chime in with my thoughts all the same.

     

    Little has been said in this thread with which I could disagree, even the messages that are a little tougher on the ego to read. Homeschooling our children offers countless unique and irrefutable advantages. However, having enrolled our two daughters in public school last fall (they were 14 and 11 at the time), I can also say that there are times when choosing to not homeschool is the wisest choice. Only you (perhaps with input from those close to you) can determine when that may be the case for you, if it ever is.

     

    I know how hard it was for me to let go of the dream to homeschool my kids all the way through, and how much I felt I would be letting them down - and, let's be honest...letting MYSELF down - by choosing the public school route. In the end, though, it has not been the horrifying experience I envisioned. Yes, there have been times all across the school year when I've wondered whether we made the right choice. I have the idea that, for me, questioning is par for the course. Just like I frequently wondered if I was mucking up my kids lives by thinking I could homeschool them (did I know enough, was I disciplined enough, didn't they need more friends, more experiences, more...just more?), I now wonder if I'm mucking them up by NOT homeschooling them. It's my nature to second guess.

     

    For our family, choosing the pubic school route was right at the time, and it remains so now. I realize this kind of commentary may be poorly received on a board like this which is intended to encourage and support homeschooling. I know there are those who feel that some parents give up too easily, deferring to public and private schools because they're not willing to do the hard work of staying home. But, I also believe that it is vital to be realistic about our strengths and weaknesses, our personal needs, and our kids' needs. Few decisions in life are absolutely unchangeable. As we did when we started homeschooling, we now look at public schooling as a year-to-year commitment, and we continue to reevaluate how we're all doing in this situation before we make a decision to continue.

     

    I hope you find clarity, and I respect you for digging deep on this topic.

  14. If all of the caterpillars don't hatch out, don't give up on them (unless you have a situation like the above poster). I've had them overwinter before, even in the middle of the summmer, and they hatched out just fine in the spring.

     

     

    Ours seem to wait to emerge when they sense a major shift in temperature and/or light. Because it's been more challenging, and less rewarding, to keep the chrysalis over the winter (needs to stay cold or it will hatch out before there are enough food supplies outside, and we've had a few hatch in jars in the garage), I now disallow any caterpillars to come inside after, say, Labor Day. Just too likely that it won't emerge until spring.

     

    We did have one happy accident one year. The kids brought a 'pillar inside but it escaped from its container. We never found it again until the following spring when it literally fluttered out onto my kitchen floor as new butterfly on Mother's Day. Quite the memorable gift, that one! :001_smile: It had made its chrysalis on the underside of a table a whole room away from where it had escaped. Go figure!!

  15. I'm posting pix on my blog (see my signature)...I'm pretty sure it is a black swallowtail...I'm so excited!

     

    Thanks for your help...

     

     

    Definitely black swallowtail! After the chrysalis forms, you might want to put the jar out of reach of your little Darla (have you seen Finding Nemo?) until closer to hatch time. Too much shaking definitely won't improve the odds. Have fun!!

     

    Oh, attaching a photo of one of our newly hatched swallowtails from some spring or other...:D

    post-1401-13535082887456_thumb.jpg

    post-1401-13535082887456_thumb.jpg

  16. We've hatched many black swallowtails from our parsley plant caterpillars. In fact, I now make the kids wait until the caterpillars are in the final instar before I'll let them bring them inside. Too much tending that cut parsley for me. :)

     

    But, yes, add a stick to the jar. And, yes, they tend to slow down before they move to chrysalis stage. If it is a swallowtail, you'll see it attach itself to the stick with silk threads, making a little cradle. It will hang for a day or so and then, in a blink, it will have dropped its skin and become a chrysalis. The chrysalis will turn very dark in about a week to ten days which is your clue that the butterfly is about to emerge. Be sure to let its wings unfold and dry completely before you release it (this takes longer than you might think), but release it as quickly as possible so it can fly off in search of food sources. So exciting!!!

  17. ...our oldest has a job within walking distance of our home. I'm not sure where you live, but it might be possible for your dd to take on babysitting, house/pet sitting, yard work, or errand running (which she could do while out with you) kinds of jobs for people who live near by. Our daughter works Saturday mornings at the farmers' market.

     

    If you really can't see your dd having a more traditional job, I would add to her allowance in a specific way. For example, you could give her the $32/month plus an additional $15 (or whatever) for her social fund. Or, give her jobs that she can do at home for you, for which you pay her. Not chores, but something that she takes off of your list of things to do, like teaching one subject to a younger sibling, or taking inventory of the pantry/freezer/fridge once a week.

     

    HTH

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