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StellaM last won the day on May 11

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About StellaM

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  1. StellaM


    Passing moments of hate for the one who hurts you ? Sure. Can't say it ever lasts all that long. But it's certainly a hot moment or two. There's a certain powelessness tied up in hate for me. Re public figures and others not in my actual life, the correct descriptor would be loathing, not hate.
  2. I'm on a bit of a posting break but breaking that commitment for this. Anxiety led to disordered eating (skipping meals) in my teen boy, but was not primary disorder. Celiac also at play, plus the anxiety disorder. I've had to treat him food-wise like a toddler - only make him things he likes (can change from week to week), must provide the food ready to eat, make the plate look tempting, prioritise calories, eat with him, let him eat in's actually quite hard work when you are expecting a teen to be able to manage their own food intake during the day. Best of luck helping him with this.
  3. I agree that it was lucky for us a Liberal PM was in power at the time of the Port Arthur Massacre. Having a right wing PM push the gun laws cut off a lot of right wing unrest over the matter (though it's rising again...we are going to have another massacre here, gun rights advocates here are learning from the US, are getting more interest, more votes, more's when, not if.) If a Labor PM had been in power then, it's less likely the laws would have gone through. Although - it's hard to describe the national mood after Port Arthur - there was national mourning and a widespread desperation to stop it ever happening again. There were earlier gun massacres, one near me, but Port Arthur had the most effect.
  4. These issues require systemic change - decent maternity leave to enable breastfeeding to be established, family courts to understand the primacy of the breastfeeding relationship and to cease order overnights for breastfed infants and toddlers. But for that change to happen, people need to believe that breastfeeding is worth both supporting and promoting. At an individual level, even moms who are struggling because of issues outside their control deserve accurate information. The mom whose workplace is affecting her abilitly to feed her baby deserves accurate info. The woman who has to send her baby on overnights deserves accurate info. It's not kind to give people inaccurate information. You could say 'You're in a really tough position. I've got a few suggestions for you, but just so you know, they can reduce your milk supply. Would you like to hear those options ?' That puts the ball in the woman's court - she's been accurately risk informed, and she can choose to hear those options and try them, or not, depending on what her tolerance is for risk to the breastfeeding relationship.
  5. It's a fact that, especially but not only in the first few months, offering a breastfeeding mother these suggestions (don't feed through the night, don't pump or express regularly when away from the baby for extended time, engage in mixed feeding ) will risk her having a lower supply, and reduce the chance of a successful breastfeeding relationship with her infant. It's not advice that should be given without a disclaimer that these suggestions can affect your supply. If a mom doesn't care that it might reduce her supply and lead to early weaning, fine. If she does this advice without disclaimer may inadvertently disrupt or end her breastfeeding choice. I think the suggestions are irresponsible to give to a nursing mother without the disclaimer re supply. These suggestions are a good example of how treating formula feeding as the norm undermines breastfeeding.
  6. These suggestions undermine successful breastfeeding. by disrupting supply.
  7. Also, I don't give a fig for what people on the internet like to assume about my parenting and breastfeeding advocacy. My best friend stopped breastfeeding at 4 months because she wanted to, and I was there for her at the end of the phone every single time she needed to work through her internally generated guilt about that, reassuring her that she was a good mom. I've made formula feeding moms welcome at parenting groups, and I've helped women wean and directed them to reputable advice about safely formula feeding. I have zero moral qualms about my IRL support of moms who choose differently, even as I continue to believe, on the available evidence, that breastfeeding rates are not currently good enough.
  8. are not listening. I don't agree there is consensus at a public health level that it is good enough. I don't think breastfeeding initiation and continuance rates in populations as they stand ARE good enough. I think they need to be higher.
  9. No it doesn't, but I'm pretty sure no-one in this thread said it did ? And I've literally never heard that in nursing circles.
  10. I have a similar extended family make up. One family member who teaches experienced a hoax bomb call. Also a fire in the school. That's it for fear.
  11. Not being able to do all the bests, doesn't mean giving up on any single best, though. Personally, I found it much easier to do best in the first year of life, because I was the primary influencer in my babies' lives.* It's a heck of a lot easier to do best for a baby than it is for a teen, imo. *and no, I didn't have maternity leave. We were dirt poor. The narrative that only rich mommies b/feed their kids did not apply to me.
  12. Because there is zero evidence that, at a population level, actively encouraging formula feeding is a public health good. Obviously, there is need for formula - some women can't feed (medical reasons, trauma reasons, work reasons) and some women don't want to feed. I don't know anyone who wants to ban formula (the closest anyone comes is wanting the formula industry regulated - for example, restrictions on advertising.) When you bring me the peer-reviewed, RCT, independent, replicated studies you and other formula proponents demand of breastfeeders, that show a significant positive impact on public health of formula feeding, at or surpassing the positive public health impacts of breastfeeding, then I will say that promoting and supporting formula feeding is good enough at population level. I have USED formula, admittedly only for a few days. OBVIOUSLY I used it believing it was good enough to stop my baby going hungry over those few days, and OBVIOUSLY I believed it was my best option for my circumstances, or I wouldn't have chosen to use it! Was it ideal ? No. Did I work to resume breastfeeding and sort the problems that we were having ? I did. If breastfeeding itself had remained impossible, would I have chosen to feed my baby EBM rather than formula ? Yes. Because formula companies and formula proponents did not convince me that formula was good enough for my baby as anything other than an emergency stop gap. People need to validate their own choices, instead of relying on the validation of others. If you are convinced, on the available evidence, that formula is good enough for your babies, great! You do you. Feel happy with your choice.
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