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Everything posted by StellaM

  1. Or even, all adults at work all the time. It's weird to me that we're living in this brave new world of tech and automation, and yet people are still forced into a model of work that is f/t, 9-5 (more like 8-6, once you count overtime and commute) or they will count the financial and career costs.
  2. Agreed. I don't like children being in institutional settings for longer hours, but I actively support government funding for public schools, and means tested funding for before and after school care. Mainly for pragmatic reasons - we live in this world, not my preferred ideal - and so long as we live in this world, I want all kids to be safe, and have a decent education. Putting my own kids in care or care + school for 10 hrs a day just was never going to be an option for me though. And I help out a family member (along with others) so it's not the only option for their kids either. I work in a school - a decent school - and I've worked in preschools - decent ones - and it's just too long for a lot of kids. And the younger they are (and the more they need care), the more a full day plus takes out of them. I always felt sorry for the kids who were in early and late to go home. Lots of the time they were ragged (and that includes K-6'ers, not just the preschoolers). There are many trade-offs people make when they put kids into these settings; mostly they either think the trade-offs are worth it, or have little to no choice about it. But the trade-offs definitely exist. Institutional care is often not benign, and that's just the nature of the beast.
  3. Because you don't just trust someone b/c they share an ideological outlook with you! It sounded a lot like he was outsourcing his own self-control and self-awareness to his sister - not cool.
  4. Free parents program scripts and resources for small community groups (non-commercial use). For teens:
  5. CONTENT WARNING: non-graphic mention of r*ape of minors. Gonna leave a gap. Gail Dines FB post: Not for the squeamish! I have just had 2 of the most depressing, harrowing and upsetting days of my professional life. I gave 4 talks to groups of social workers, law enforcement, child protection specialists and therapists. The stories I heard are devastating. In the Q&A I heard stories of boys as young as 6 raping girls, the rapid increase in numbers of girls being strangled during "sex," girls as young as 3 being raped by young boys, and boys who are addicted to porn by 8. The professionals tasked with helping these kids feel overwhelmed by the lack of any support systems for these kids and don't know where to turn. Speaking to these front-line workers makes it clear we are beyond crisis level with porn, and it is getting worse by the day. Anyway. Not much I can do. But thought I would repost the link to the course (other communication materials for tweens and teens on the Culture Reframed website) as some people found it useful last time I posted.
  6. I didn't really know how to title this post. It's sort of a spin-off of the 10hr school day (10 hours a day with peers, how good is safeguarding of peers from peers, child protection workers I know concerned about peer on peer abuse at school) It's also inspired by a FB post by Gail Dines, which I'll put in another post with a content warning. You don't have to scroll down to read the next post - the link to the course is here: Useful free online course for any parents concerned about tween exposure to p*rn, and p*rn influenced behaviour by their children's peers.
  7. I think following the local ABC tomorrow is really the best idea. I'm sure they'll explain what's what as the weather eventuates. I think maybe they are erring on the side of caution with a catastrophic level here, though I did just read ember attacks are predicted up to 30m from the fire front.
  8. That booklet was really good, Melissa. Helped me think of a few things I wouldn't have otherwise considered. I'm sure we'll be OK. Hopefully the more exposed areas of the cit/state will be OK too.
  9. We're suburban, so haven't gotten anything. There's parkland at the end of the street, but it's not super bushy. I'm thinking maybe they are concerned about ember attacks ahead of fire fronts elsewhere ? Or urban fires ? That's good to know about the radio. I'll leave it on local ABC. Thanks for the link, Melissa. I'll read it. I'm a bit stunned that suburban Sydney is listed as catastrophic. We're only 10km from the CBD!
  10. Aussies with fire experience - my suburb has been listed as catastrophic tomorrow. What should I know ? Have never been at fire risk before.
  11. Ah, the problems I've had with checking kitchens for g/f here is that there can be a language barrier in many Asian places. Sometimes I'm not sure and they're not sure what we've just communicated. And most kitchens will be more familar with gluten than cinnamon allergies. I'll ask around and let you know.
  12. I'll take a look. We do have that brand. Catsup is tomato sauce, right ? Are there any cuisines that are usually safer for you than not ? We have a lot of Italian places, a lot of Thai and Japanese places...
  13. We use a lot of cinnamon, btw, but mostly in baking - any Christmas goods you buy in shops are likely to have cinnamon or have risk of cross-contamination.
  14. I'll take a look when I do the shopping later this week (I'm in Sydney). I read labels anyway b/c of the whole g/f thing, so it's no drama to read for cinnamon/spices. I can only think it would be problem in some prepackaged foods - yes, can you give us an idea of the type of thing you'd buy ? Sydney is reasonably allergy friendly - I'd imagine that many restuarants and cafes could check cinnamon for you if you were eating out.
  15. What's he struggling with though ? The whole phrasing of this as a struggle...idk...I get that no parent wants to think of their baby boy growing up to be a sleaze, but it's less of a struggle and more of a choice to act like a sleaze. I can see they would be disappointed with his behaviour - but why is 'not trading sex for tickets/not pushing women already in relationships/not having multiple secret relationships' a struggle ? Makes it sound way more heroic than it actually is. John should just take a year off, go to therapy with an old lady therapist, own his sh*t, and not talk about it to people who aren't involved ie most of the world.
  16. I did, but hmmm...not trusting, not forgiving, quite cynical type person here. To me, calling it an addiction is a way of saying 'oh poor me, I haz no control'. Also, his sister has to be his chaperone on tour ? I mean, what's that all about ? That was also weird.
  17. Maybe I'm just not very trusting - I wouldn't trust an atheist bloke as far as my little finger!
  18. Catastrophic conditions forecast in the greater Sydney area for Tuesday 😞
  19. I am always happy when I hear someone had a great childhood 🙂 That's how it should be! My surprise was more that people might be explicitly taught 'Oh, if they are a Christian, you can trust them!' (Christian in the context of this thread, I'd be just as surprised to hear a secular parent say 'Oh, if they are secular, they can be trusted!') To me that's just - wow - that's not a helpful thing to teach young people. Many people are trustworthy, but not on the basis of a declared faith (or lack thereof), more on the basis of observable, repeated trustworthy behaviours, kwim? There are very trustworthy Christians out there for sure, but oh my goodness, if the trials here into child sex abuse and the Church has taught me anything, it's that professing a faith isn't any kind of guarantee.
  20. StellaM


    Glad you got some rest and that you're feeling a bit better.
  21. Gosh, he really comes across as quite an unlikeable person, doesn't he ? I must admit I don't understand the woman who thought because he was Christian, he was trustworthy, even as he was singling her out from her boyfriend, providing her with alcohol and telling her he was 'enjoying the view'. Is this really a thing people are taught to believe? It seems very harmful, given there are trustworthy and non-trustworthy people of all faiths and none.
  22. StellaM


    I hope you did stay in bed, at least for a couple of hours. Physicall illness can definitely have a psychological element to it. And vice versa. All this week I felt totally overwhelmed and honestly, just wanted to go to bed and not get up again. But physically I was fine. And suddenly I got sick, and had to go to bed and not get up again (temporarily) and my mood is a little better. So who knows - was brewing a virus depressing my mood, or did my depressed mood depress my immune system too ? Who knows ? They are linked though. Psychological overwhelm sucks, and it doesn't help us to stay healthy. Do you have psychological support for yourself ? Also, maybe consider seeing a naturopath ? I'm not normally into alternative medicine, but there are a few herbs that seem to make a big difference to my immune system robustness, fatigue, and capacity to handle emotional stress. Maybe that could give you a bit of an edge as you manage the family stress ? Please take care of yourself. You get sick very frequently, and so you need to look after yourself in a different way to ppl who just get a one-off illness once or twice a year.
  23. I think we are all going to have to start stocking masks for fire seasons. Even when not affected by fire, we can easily be affected by smoke for days at a time. One day last week, Sydney had the 5th worst air quality in the world due to bushfire smoke. I'm hyper-aware of it because I have pre-existing respiratory illnesses, but it's bad for everyone's health. Hope the air clears for you soon, and that your area stays fire free.
  24. I don't remember if anyone here is up on the mid-North coast. This does tend to be my state's peak fire season; no or very low humidity, plus drought, plus strong, dry winds. I'm glad to be nowhere near any of the fire grounds, but admit to some anxiety about how much worse it's going to get here re drought and fire over the coming decades. It must be very scary for people when the fireys are saying that they can't get to you and to try to find shelter. The volunteer fire fighters are amazing though.
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