JFSinIL
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Posts posted by JFSinIL
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Yeah, I agree that $100/month seems like a reasonable fee for what you are planning to do. I guess if you don’t think the parents would be willing to pay that, are you willing to donate your time to do it for less?
I'd run up a tentative plan for what you'd hope to do, and run it by the families to see if they are willing to pay 50% up front BEFORE you spend any time/money on planning/supplies etc. That way you have seed money to start with, and the families are committed to participating. otherwise some may wax enthusiastic now, but when it comes time to sign up Junior and pay $ they will balk. You ar enot going to make much money though, sound like the families can not afford to pay what your education could make you worth. Years ago, when we had a preschooler with autism in need of more in-home ABA therapists, a neighbor got excited that she could use her college degree...then said she wanted $40 an hour since she had the degree. Er, we were paying $8 - 10 (insurance did not cover this, and we were trying to fill 30 hours a week!)
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You would have had to have the anesthesia, recovery room and meds as part of your deductible when the endo. was done whether you also had the preventative colonoscopy at the same time or not, too, is the rational. But at least you did not have to be put under twice - that is a plus!
When we have had larger hospital bills, sometimes I arrange to pay $50 a month for a loooong time. I only put it all on my credit card IF I can pay it off in a month (we always pay off the card in full) AND if hospital gives me a discount for doing so (I have gotten 10% off for paying my share of a bill within a few days).
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Youngest took better part of a week after all her impacted teeth came out to be back to her old self. I doubt that if your dd's teeth are out on a Friday that she will be doing much dancing on Monday.
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If you already added more salt, I'd hesitate to add more sodium via many of the suggestions above. Perhaps heat it up with something? I tend to add a bit of sambal oelek to many dishes.
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$200, and if she refuses, smile, then make her a $200 check as a graduation gift. Tell her your peace of mind knowing she was keeping an eye on things - and catching that leaky water heater - was priceless!
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I agree send us, or a select few of us, your essay, too. Curious what the off-site service found wrong with it. Is it trying to manipulate your writing into an approved bland format?
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BTW does he take any vitamins? Both my twins have quirky self-imposed diets, and NEED certain extra vitamins (esp. those D and B ones) - doctor recommended, not just Mom :-) Just a thought after you mentioned he doesn't have the healthiest diet. Would he read any articles on nutrition etc to support taking vitamins?
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well, maybe he has a fracture? Bones don't have to be poking out of the skin to be broken, and it sounds like he may be going into shock.
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I am going to say one more thing, even if it is discounted.
I don't think it would be fair to say to your son, "Ok, you now will be paying $400/mo."
I think it far more fair to say, "We feel you need to get a job or go to school. If you are working or not working, you will start paying in October of this year. You have 7 months to figure this out" or whatever. And your previous "you need a job or school in 6 months" doesn't count unless you added the "and you will be paying rent at that time" in the past. He needs some time to process this idea.
This.. I forgot to add in my post that I did give dd six months after high school graduation to come up with a plan or start paying rent, etc.
Also, if he does not want to try for a job you think he could do because he thinks he will "hate it", well, that is why he would be PAID to do it. If a job was fun, it would not be "work". I also agree he needs a heads up that internet is vanishing as of May 7th unless he becomes a man with a plan, a functioning member of society in some way. You are helping him get the skills and abilities to function in the world for the time when you are not there as back-up.
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I have mentioned before but this is what we do - I came up with this after my oldest dd, after blowing off most of her classes in high school yet graduating told us she was "taking a year off to relax and recover'. Er, no. "I am an adult now and you can't tell me what to do" was also heard.
So - I reminded her that Mom and Dad were adults, too, and we did not have to support another adult under our roof if we did not want to. She could not tell us what to do either. I smiled. She blanched - never occurred to her it worked both ways. Anyway, I let her know that she could still be at home - BUT the options for her and all the others as they "adulted" were: 1. Attend college with passing grades in all classes and you can live at home and/or be supported in college as FAFSA indicated. You pay for your own toiletries, phone etc. so find a small p/t job if you need to. 2. Attend the local cc part-time and work part-time since you have $300 in room/board to pay each month. 3. Attend NO college or further job training of any kind and work full time since you then pay $600/month in room board. Of course, getting a job and moving out to be totally self-supporting always an option, too. Note, this dd DID choose option 2 for a while, then found a full-time job via a temp agency and moved to option 3...which we cancelled after our car crash as she put off moving out (since she by then made ample money to do so with roommates) for several months to be the primary person in charge of house and brother with autism until we were back on our feet. Ended up handy having a functional extra adult around the house then ;-) At this time our oldest was three hours away at college, and youngest was still in high school. So oldest dd had to step up for a time.
But the idea of offering option is still a good one. School or school/work or work. And set an amount you feel achievable rent-wise for options 2 and 3. But doing NOTHING not an option unless person totally disabled and unable to do anything. Our son with autism is now in a group home and goes to a day program for folks with autism. School and/or work simply not an option for him. You know your son best and what he can/can't achieve. Don't let him settle for less than he is capable of!
AutismMan's fraternal twin, who almost finished college before his brain broke (bipolar/anxiety/insomnia/etcetc) currently is functioning well enough on five or six meds to be able to work part-time and take one class at the local cc at a time. He says he feels better being able to get out of the house and DO SOMETHING - and now pays some rent, too. He might be now making enough that student loan repayment will kick in soon, which will be a chunk of his pay, so he will only pay $200/month (and cover all his phone/car/toiletries/snacks etc expenses).
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They most likely will wait until you are sedated to insert the catheter IF you need one - if it is not a lengthy surgery they may just have you make sure to pee once more time before going into the operating room. For various procedures that were an hour or less I have not had to have a catheter. Now, I have had them at other times - usually wake up and it is already in place. If so, you don't feel it, and no big deal when removed. But, again, I doubt you will need one. If someone does come at you to insert a catheter, ask them to wait until you are sedated.
I assume you will just be advised to not eat/drink from midnight on, and possibly give yourself a Fleet and poop before going in the next day.
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What plansme said. The driver who blew a stop sign and hit us almost four years ago was 20, we got paperwork she declared bankruptcy last year since our insurance company, after covering half a million (!!!) in medical bills for us went after UNINSURED her to get their money back. Because the driver (and her passenger who actually owned the car) were over 18 their parent's assets were untouchable.
Of course the other side will try and make you think you have to come up with $350,000. Let your insurer handle this. Don't talk with or deal with the other side at all yourself, or let your dd do so. You had insurance for $100,000 so providing they have proof of medical expenses, that is all they can get. From your insurance.
BTW - to have $350,000 of medical expenses, I had a broken leg, internal bleeding that required emergency surgery to repair a torn artery and removed part of my colon and then a "poop bag" for four months before more surgery to put innards back together, and between hospital and rehab a full MONTH away from home, then a hospital bed, walker and wheelchair at home. Hubby, another $150,000, had a broken ankle, broken ribs, broken wrist and his own hospital bed at home etc. If that other driver was able to be running around her car bellyaching right after a mere sideswipe, than I doubt she has major medical bills. We had to be dragged out of our busted car.
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If you can not imagine your own unique stories, then try Forrest Gumping yourself into historical events or movies.
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I watch movies in my head....old favorites. Marx Brothers, Star Wars - anything I have memorized. Or I take a mental trip somewhere (beach, Disneyland, Yosemite) and visualize details. Or jump into a decades-old sci-fi/fantasy I am writing in my head (imagine if Rowling had kept H. Potter as her own private fantasy instead of writing it out and sharing it)...
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I am just trying to stop hubby from starting those little seed pots inside too early - he can't safely transplant thing until late May, and by then they seedlings will be tall and spindly. He needs to wait!
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My folks, er, Santa, shopped at Sears for us.
My TRU memory is when my four were small and my dad would fly out to visit, he would take us to TRU and we'd go up and down each aisle with a big cart and the kids (and moi) would fill it on Pap's dime. Many Barbies and Star Wars items. :-)
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20 years ago before we got into the third - and actually helpful - neuro for our twin with autism, I had him on a gluten-free, diary-free rotation diet for about six months. I recall the biggest pain was rotating the teff/quinoa/amaranth/corn/rice/kasha etc stuff so he only ate certain allowed items every four days. I joined a health food co'op to get a lot of the allowed flours etc cheaply, and baked many odd crackers etc for Joe to eat.
I know there should be a lot of material on the web on how to do this, and I believe a lot more products can be bought already-made so one does not have to spend hours baking dinky brittle crackers etc. any longer.
I do not know if a rotational diet would do much for your dd. I would be more concerned about her getting so bored with her current diet that she doesn't eat as much as she should.
Has she sampled quinoa? Amaranth? Kasha (buckwheat grouts - actually quite good!)?
BTW cooked carrots are better than raw - apparently the nutrients in carrots are more easily accessed if cooked.
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Along with an orthopedist, is there a regional pain specialist in your area (if needed)? Oldest dd was referred to one for deep pain in one thigh - MRI, X-rays etc found nothing to treat, and PT only did so much. Pain doc. was ultimately able to help her with deep injections (botox? I do not remember) that lasted about six weeks. She ultimately decided she would rather live with the pain - easy once you KNOW it is not cancer or anything dire - than Big Needles (aargh!) every six weeks.
If PT and/or orthos do not address the pain well in a few months, then you may need a pain doc.
Poor kid. Sounds like he just lost his physical activities for several months (if not permanently). Swimming may be an option once he is cleared for it. My mom had to have spinal fusion in her early 30s, and we ended up moving to find a house with room for a pool, so she could swim her daily laps w/o throwing three kids in the car to get to the local pool. Swimming was good for her back, I think.
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They are wadded up in larger bags and kept by the front door. Each time we go on walkies with the Lab, we grab a bag -if it has holes, into the recycle bin it goes, otherwise if intact it is the day's dog poop bag.
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Is he only paid if/when a body is in the pool? No - he is paid for all his time there, right? If sitting next to an empty pool makes him sleepy, then instead of sitting he should walk around the pool, find something to tidy, ANYTHING except sit and nod off. He can ask his supervisor what they want him to do when there is no one to guard.
OK, now that I HAVE read the entire thread - I agree with others, this is a bad job, and he needs to quit yesterday. No one can spend eight hours w/o a break in such an environment. If they must have lifeguards, it has to be shorter p/t shifts. Perhaps only have lifeguard in certain times of day when pool most likely to be used, and a sign "No Lifeguard on Duty" posted for other times.
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When was your last gyno appt? You may have a benign polyp you are aggravating by exercising. just a thought.
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hey, why did this post twice?
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Hubby and oldest dd have uvetis and need prescription drops to help. I get filmentary keratitus and need my cornea scraped once in a while. Have you been seen by a proper ophthalmologist to rule out any non-allergy possibilities?
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My ds wears a ball cap to keep the hair out of his face.
a Luke (Gilmore girls)!!
Go to MD or wait?
in The Chat Board
Posted · Edited by JFSinIL
So we are talking coin dollar, not dollar bill dollar, correct? Does sound like a bug bite - did you draw around it with a marker to see if it spreads overnight? Or can you compare it with the photo to see if it spread? I am inclined to get her checked out whether it spread or not, with her level of discomfort for so long...what if this is something else that has been going on and is only now working its way to the surface?
Would she put up with a doctor visit for French fires or another rare treat afterwards? My son with autism got through doctor visits and shots to earn fries or two donuts from a local bakery.