[If you were coordinating a home school meeting on home organization...]

Identifying 'trouble areas' or 'dumping areas' and how to reclaim those areas, such as putting something decorative there instead of piling. If you have a decorative item sitting on a shelf or counter, then it will continue to look nice because you won't have space there to dump the mail or whatever used to pile there.

 

Dealing with paper (instead of piling it), like using files or file boxes and immediately sorting mail and tossing junk, then filing bills, etc. How to set up a system that is usable. Organizing a desk. Storing phone numbers in a convenient location. How long to keep records, how to store them, and where.

 

Hidden storage areas for items you need to have, but don't need to readily available (containers under beds, under sofas, etc.) Consider bed risers to increase storage space under beds with low under-bed clearance.

 

Schedule weekly major chores so the entire family knows when to have laundry ready for washing, when they are expected to fold and put away their laundry, etc.

 

Lists conveniently located on a refrigerator or in a pantry where everyone can use them. Same with a master calendar for all the family members' activities.

 

Having the right tools for the job. Types of mops for your floors, etc. What works best with the least amount of effort, in your price range?

 

Doing a little every day. Wipe down the shower when you finish your shower. Always wash and put away the dishes after dinner so your sinks are empty. The entire house needs to be cleaned, but doesn't have to be cleaned all on the same day. Vacuum downstairs one day and upstairs the next day. Dust another day. Clean one bathroom one day and another the next day. Wash floors a different day. That is usually more reasonable than trying to clean the whole house in one day.

 

Where to put boxes or baskets to collect items that need to be put away. Put a basket near the stairs, for example, where you can toss items that need to go upstairs to be put away, but you don't want to always be going up and down. Toss the item into the basket and make one trip later with several items to put away. Where do you toss car keys? Put a basket or box there instead of leaving an unorganized pile. Where do your kids tend to drop their shoes or backpacks? Where do you prefer they go? Where can those things go instead of the floor? Hooks on the wall, or inside a cabinet, or in a basket with a lid, or simply taken to their bedrooms are all possibilities.

 

15 minute pick up or cleaning blitz. It is amazing how much you can get done in just 15 minutes, especially if you get several family members involved. Have each person take a different room and put away everything out of place in that room.

 

Ways to file recipes so you can find them later. Ideas: one binder for untried recipes, a second with sheet protectors for recipes you try and want to keep to use again. Perhaps file folders would work better for you. Maybe you prefer to keep your laptop on the counter and have your recipes on the screen. Maybe 4x6 or 3x5 cards works best for you, using card files.

[Why is it just assumed...]

Many students here don't get their license when they turn 16 yo.

 

The schools don't offer Driver's Ed or Driver's Training, and the Driver's Ed courses cost $80 - $100 online, and sometimes more if taken in a Driving class. Then there is the cost of Driver's Training, the behind-the-wheel instruction, which costs $300 - $350 for three lessons. First the student completes the Driver's Ed course, then has to register for the behind the wheel course and take the proof of registration to the DMV before a student can get a driver's permit. That is a lot of money! Then there is the car insurance cost once they get their driver's license.

 

Because of the cost involved, many students can't afford to get a driver's permit when they are 15.5 years old. One of my dc did because she had been saving her money to pay for it. My other dc were also saving money to pay for it, but they decided to wait until they were older. One ds waited to get his driver's permit until he was 17.5 because then he would not have to take the behind the wheel training because he would take the driver's test after he turned 18 yo. He didn't want to pay for the behind the wheel course because it was so expensive, and he didn't want to deal with all the provisional new driver restrictions in effect for one year or until the student turns 18 yo (hours a new driver is allowed to drive, no passengers in the car under age 20 unless a parent is in the car or a licensed driver over age 25, etc). I did insist that he get his driver's license as soon as he turned 18 because I didn't want him to go away to college without one. It makes sense for a student to wait to get a driver's license.

 

People do tend to assume a 16 yo will be getting a driver's license, though. It is still thought of as somewhat of a rite of passage, but that trend is changing because of the cost involved and all the restrictions on newly licensed drivers.

[When were America's schools "good"?]

I doubt there is one main reason for the failing status of the public schools in the U.S. There are many factors, and they change depending on location because different states face different demographic and philosophical challenges. So even if there is a solution that improves schools in one area, that same strategy may not have an effect in a different locale.

 

I wonder if we (as an American people) even have a standardized interpretation of what 'failing school' or "successful education" really mean. I see the ps near me as failing most students. Generally speaking, students who are succeeding, learning and improving academically are not doing so because of excellent curriculum or teaching as much as other factors, such as personal motivation, tutoring or other academic opportunities, and parental expectation and commitment. Many high performing students are actually sliding by, doing very little work, because they don't have to study or work in order to get good grades. They are not necessarily academically advanced. They are just doing better than the students who choose not to study or do most the assignments. So it is not hard to get better grades than the other students. I see that as the schools failing the students. The parents of the students with the high GPAs think the schools are failing some students, but not their dc because their dc are getting really good grades, so they are learning. We have very different philosophies of what a failing school and a successful or high quality education means.

 

My local schools are failing horribly. However, Asian students are *not* failing in these same schools. Why is that? Is it because their parents have not simply turned their dc's education over to the school system?

 

I think it is because the parents have not turned their dc's education over to the school. Some parents take seriously their responsibility to ensure their dc are educated to a level the parents deem appropriate or necessary. There are many Indian students here, and they excel as well because the parents don't think the schools are able to provide an acceptable level of education. The parents spend 1-2 hours per day teaching their dc at home from preschool on. I know of some who teach their first grade child math for an hour before school starts each day, then another subject for at least an hour in the afternoon. Then there are the other after school activities and lessons as well. They have an academic goal and make sure their dc achieve it.

 

I don't see this commitment to education in most American parents. I realize I am speaking generally, because there are exceptions. Hsers tend to be exceptions, as well as families who afterschool and pay for tutoring because they know their dc are bored in classes and are not learning. But I still see most parents who are happy if their dc get good grades, but really don't know if their dc are actually learning anything. There is a philosophical difference of letting kids be kids, have fun, not pushing them, etc. vs. having a priority of academic excellence and expecting children rise to meet the expectation by going to school, then having several additional hours per day of tutoring and outside classes. It is obvious which students will excel, and it is not because of the school. It is the parents' expectations and willingness to commit to making sure their dc receive instruction.

 

I also wonder how much of the current parent 'hands off' educational philosophy is due to past generations learning the lessons the educational establishment has pushed. For over 50 years, people have been told that teachers are professionals and know how to teach, and parents are supposed to make sure their dc go to school and do what the teachers and administrators say. I know my parents fully believed that they, as mere parents, were not capable of teaching me anything, and that anything the school did would be what is best for me academically. They would never consider questioning a teacher or a school because those are the trained professionals. I wanted to read when I was 4 yo, but my mother said that she couldn't teach me because teachers know how to teach reading, and she might teach me wrong. If I had questions about math, my mother said that I had to ask my teacher because she knows how to teach math the right way, not her. If I wanted to learn something I was not being taught in school, my mother said that it was obviously not important that I learn it because if it was important, the school would teach it to me. If my parents did not understand why a teacher did what he did, or why I was bored in school, etc., they reasoned it was because they did not understand the situation correctly. The school couldn't be wrong. Once people buy into that philosophy (which helps the schools because parents were not making as many demands), they have to take a hands-off approach and simply trust the schools to teach.

 

So now we have a couple generations of hands-off, schools and teachers are the professionals so let them do what they do best philosophy. But there is a problem because parents also see that their dc are not learning. There has been a societal change as far as behavior. Teachers complain that parents don't teach their dc to behave, so the school has to do it. Many parents don't parent because they have been taught that schools teach their dc. (Again, I am generalizing and I know it!) So then parents have to come up with a reason for the problem, and usually they blame the school. The teacher doesn't like their dc, or their dc has special needs and needs special attention. Parents make demands of teachers because they want their dc to succeed according to their definition of success.

 

Teachers can't necessarily do anything about the situation. Parental absence in the lives of their dc and in expectations certainly affects a child's ability and willingness to learn. When school expectations are low, why work hard and turn in the assignments anyway? If a child knows he can do a minimum amount of work and get a good grade, he gets an unrealistic impression of what quality work really is. Parents find it easier to blame a teacher for discrimination or poor quality teaching than to get involved and make sure their dc learn. Parents who have been told that schools are the professionals and parents simply need to trust them to educate students don't see why they should have to pay for tutoring or outside classes. If their dc is failing, then the cause must be the school not doing its professional job. But the school can't do its job if parents don't get involved in their dc's education. Then add in all the non-academic requirements, and the "you must teach this" requirements placed on schools by the government, and schools are in a very difficult position.

 

So this is probably more stream of consciousness and may not make sense to anyone except me, but I think the current situation of failing schools is a result of decades of parental hands-off academic philosophy as well as parental absence (not necessarily just physical, but absence in presence and instruction of basic behavior and social skills and expectations) in the lives of children. Since there is no real definition of success or failure, apart from the test score analysis used by the government, which is certainly not conclusive, it is difficult to even conclude the real status of the school system.

[How involved were your parents in your education?]

My parents were not very involved in my schooling at all. My mother went to parent-teacher conferences and was in the PTA some of my elementary years, but she was not involved in my education. She was very hands-off when it came to questions about homework, and if I asked her for help or to explain something to me, she would say that I should have asked my teacher for help before I left school and to wait and ask my teacher the next day because it is the school's job to teach me, not hers. She often stated that the school will teach me all that I needed to know to be a successful adult. (Even when young I wondered how she could actually believe that...) That sums up her involvement. She talked about how important it was to get a good education, but she would not get involved in the process. I had to do it all myself.

[I think she's excited (cute toddler story)]

This will probably be a blanket she will keep forever, along with other items with special memories. It's fun that she is so excited about it. Maybe you should finish it first, since she cares so much.

[Do you like loft beds?]

If your ceilings are tall enough for someone to sit on the bed, then loft beds are a great space-claiming option. The important thing is to learn how to deal with sheets. Use fitted sheets and a duvet instead of flat sheets and a blanket. That simplifies everything and makes making the bed much easier and faster. It is worth having a loft bed if you need the space for a dresser, bookcase and/or desk, or toys.

[Please help me not feel guilty about exercising]

I agree with the others. Do it because it is what's best for you. It's okay to do something good for yourself, something you enjoy. It is not selfish. You will be setting an example for your dc. If it becomes an expense that is harming your family finances, then reevaluate, but if you can afford it, then it is money well spent for your personal physical and mental health.

[My Bath Towel Plan...does this make sense?]

We have done one color of towels for dh and me, and different colors for each dc. That worked well, and we knew which bathroom the towels went in, and who left one laying on the floor...

 

Then I painted the dc's bathroom, so I went with one color for the towels there, since we needed new ones anyway. Their bathroom looked a bit better with all the towels matching (the dc each had their own towel rack) and we could still tell which towels went in which bathroom.

 

I would probably choose a different color towel for each bathroom because I like variety.

 

I have used Costco towels, and they have held up well as far as not fraying or getting holes, but the color fades after about a year, so I am looking for a different kind of towel now.

[Would you let your child be an exchange student?]

If my dc wanted to to it, I would encourage them to go. I was an exchange student when I was in high school, and it was a very positive, life-changing experience for me. It was a very long time ago...:tongue_smilie: and I still communicate with my host-sisters, and one host sister's daughter initiates gchats with me as well. That's a long...well, a very long.. term friendship, extending into a second generation, all from being an exchange student. So yes, I would encourage it. I would be asking lots of questions so I can be as assured as possible that my dc will be in a safe situation, but I would be excited for them.

[In a pickle - need some perspective]

Our cc has long lists of students wanting to add classes the first week of school. If a student who enrolled in the class doesn't come to the first week of classes, the instructor can give away their spot in class to a student who wants to add. That may not be the policy where your ds will go to school, but it makes it essential that a student come to the first week of classes here. I just wanted to mention it in case you have not considered it.

 

This is a tough decision.

[Teen to get driver's license! INsurance wants grades?]

AAA takes our dc's transcripts and gives the good student discount. No problem there.

[Will physical books become obsolete?]

Will physical books someday disappear from our culture?

 

I hope not! I have a Nook, and so do two of my dc. It makes reading convenient because it is easy to carry around the books, and storage is not a problem. But I don't want to give up paper books, either. What if the power is out and the ereader is not charged enough to read, or what if your ereader breaks? That's not a problem if you have paper books.

 

I don't think I could curl up and snuggle with a young child while reading aloud an ebook. There is something wonderful about holding that book, oversized sometimes, and looking at and discussing the pictures and the story. I don't want the ereader experience when reading aloud before bedtime. I think my dc teethed on books (baby and toddler ones, don't panic). They liked to 'read' books to themselves. That just is not the same on an ereader, even though many children's books are interactive. I consider those like using computer software. They are good for a specific purpose, but I will stick to paper books for reading to a young child. I can see ereaders as more useful when reading to an older child when pictures are not needed. But I still hesitate to go all ebooks.

 

I also hope paper books stick around for historical reasons. They can be read in a hundred years, just as there are hundred year old books readable today. Technology doesn't affect them. There are already books that have been abridged/changed in order to make them more politically correct. I don't want to see every book as an ebook, where it would be quite easy to change the words or meanings since everything is downloaded. I guess that may be a bit cynical, but when a nation is conquered, typically one of the first things done is eliminating books and changing textbooks to reflect the views of the conqueror. Paper books are harder to change than ebooks.

[I have to put down a credit card to get an Itunes account for ds?]

I opened the iTunes account with a credit card, added a gift card, then deleted the credit card. There has been no credit card attached to the account since then. We just use gift cards. Can't you do that with your ds's account?

[What to do?]

Start talking your way up the chain of command. When the person on the phone says he can't apply the discount and send another email, politely ask to speak with his supervisor. Often a supervisor will make the adjustment because the lower-level employee really does not have the authority to make discretionary decisions that a supervisor has. If the supervisor won't send the email or make the adjustment, then ask to speak with his supervisor or manager. Eventually you can get to a person who does have the authority to make the change you need, or you can reconsider your decision to go with this company.

 

I personally wouldn't have the work done unless the email states the proper discounts that were quoted, since they won't let you change it after the installation. I may sound cynical, but $15/month more money is not a risk I would want to take, just in case they don't make the adjustment after the install.

[Rainbow Fish children's book- a rant]

Yup. I hated the underlying message in Rainbow Fish. Sharing is right and good, but being coerced or forced to give away what makes you unique in order to be liked or have friends is a wrong message. People shouldn't have to all be the same in order to be friends, and having something that is uniquely yours is not selfish or wrong.

[Homeschooling Successfully - for veteran homeschoolers]

I don't think it is possible to teach our dc everything they need to know. I just did my best to teach them what I knew they should know, and what I wanted them to know. I figure if they have the essentials, then they can learn what I didn't teach them. Three dc are away at college, doing just fine, so I think they were prepared.

 

I didn't have any checklist, just things that I wanted them to know. There are probably check lists available somewhere on the internet, if you go looking. I had categories where I had specific goals. A couple examples, Academic: mastering the basics, being able to research and write a quality essay and research paper, study skills, time management, etc. Life Skills: cooking, cleaning, budgeting, managing finances, car maintenance, health and safety, etc.

 

I did learn last year that while I have taught my dc to cook, I neglected to teach them how to plan meals around sale ads. My ds is a good cook, but tended to decide what he wanted to eat, then cook it, instead of watching sales on food, then planning what to cook. My home pantry is better stocked than his school apartment. This is not a huge omission, and I did teach him what he needed to know once he told me that he didn't think he really knew how to shop for meals. If I had a do-over, I would have my dc plan meals from grocery store sale ads, within a budget, so they would already be thinking that way.

 

One thing my dc have told me is that, while they hated it at the time, they now appreciate me making them write timed essays when they were in high school. They have all said that they have college courses where the tests are timed essay tests, and students who are not good at thinking and organizing their thoughts quickly, outlining, then writing quickly were not doing well on the tests because they couldn't finish their essays. Because I had my dc write a lot of timed essays using facts and analysis, my dc have no problem with the essay tests their professors give. That would be one thing I did that has paid off, according to my dc.

[online drivers ed. in CA]

My dc used driversed.com and had no problem passing the test at the DMV. They completed the online course, and iirc, within one day received the document in the mail to take to the DMV to prove they completed the course. My dc have friends who also used this course.

[woah baby! (a bit CC)]

Congratulations! As you said, "God clearly wanted this baby to be here", and this baby is a blessing. Your ILs may not be happy, but you don't need their validation in order to enjoy the new life growing inside who will join your family soon. This is a blessing in the middle of a difficult time in your family's life, a reminder that God does have plans for your family.

[Digital scrapbooking--is there a site that will meet my needs?]

Photoshop Elements is a fairly inexpensive software (about $80 or so on sale) that is great for digital scrapbooking. There are lots of tutorials available on using it for scrapbooking, and it has plenty of versatility. There are many websites on using it and lots of free digital papers and elements and templates you can download, as well as buy.

 

I use Photoshop Elements, and it is perfect for what you are describing. I make one page, print several copies, and I insert the printed pages into my dc's albums. Then I can resize the same layout to 8x8 or 6x6 and print it for grandparents. I can also use the layouts as wallpaper for my computer and Nook Color. Lots of options.

 

I usually print pages at Costco, but other online sites will allow you to print individual pages, not just complete books.

 

A website I like (I am not associated with it apart from being a very happy customer):

 

http://www.designerdigitals.com/ My favorite digital scrapbooking site. Look at the Ideas tab for examples of layouts people have done, most using Photoshop Elements or Photoshop. Look at the Supplies or Specials tab to see what is sold: kits, templates, elements, alphas, papers, etc. If you register (free), you can get loads of excellent, high quality papers, elements and templates free. Just download them from the Community tab, then scroll down to Weekly Challenges. There are three free items to download weekly, and you can go back and download past freebies as well. It is worth it.

 

http://www.designerdigitals.com/digital-scrapbooking/supplies/index.php/cPath/167 Tutorials for sale and a few for free that teach how to use Photoshop Elements for scrapbooking techniques. High quality, easy to follow step by step directions.

 

Another site:

 

http://www.oscraps.com/shop/home.php

http://creativepassionclasses.com/

[My oldest doesn't like "girlie" books, and I'm scared]

My dd loved to read, but hated Austen, Bronte and other similar authors. She did love Anne of Green Gables, but later in the series got mad because Anne was clearly with the wrong guy, so she didn't want to read them anymore. :lol: I tried and tried to get her to read Austen and Bronte, but no go. "Too wordy". She did love the movie Pride and Prejudice, though. Just not the books. She liked Little Women, but one ds is the one who read the rest of the books, not dd.

 

She is in college now. She emailed us a Christmas list, and most the list was books - including Austen, Bronte and Hugo! Apparently one of her roommates is a voracious reader as well, and has introduced her to Austen's and Bronte's books. Apparently, my dd's tastes have changed over the past 5-6 years. Dd was thrilled to open up Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Hunchback of Notre Dame, and many more books on Christmas morning.

 

So there is hope for your dd, too. She may end up loving those books when she is older!

[Things we were threatened with as kids...]

I was told lots of things that I never believed, but I think my parents did believe them.

 

Cracking my knuckles will give me arthritis.

 

If you make your eyes cross eyed or make a silly face, it will stay that way.

 

If you make an ugly face to a pregnant woman, her baby will be born ugly, so don't make silly faces because a pregnant woman might see. (My grandmother told me that one.)

 

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

 

Swallowing a seed will make that fruit grow in your stomach (watermelon, apple tree, orange tree...)

 

Always wash your ears or seeds blown in there by the wind will start growing.

 

Someone is going to be crying before bedtime (context: usually because we kids were overtired and/or sugar-hyped, so were irritating each other. I always wondered why my mother would just say that instead of actually doing something to diffuse the situation and prevent the altercation that she anticipated ending in crying...)

 

Stop that or I'm gonna slap you one... (I always wondered what "one" meant, and why "one" and not two or three...)

 

Sitting too close to the tv will make me go blind.

 

Close your mouth of flies will go in.

 

You will catch cold if you go outside with wet hair.

 

Gypsies will come get you if you stay outside past dark (or if you leave the yard if I was at my grandparents' house).

 

Eating brussel sprouts will make hair grow on your chest. (I didn't believe it, but since I didn't like brussel sprouts, I used to turn it back on my parents to explain why I shouldn't have to eat them.)

 

You're not the center of the universe. (Generic statement meant to communicate that one will not get what one wants.)

 

Drinking coffee or tea will stunt your growth.

[Question for those who have older kids in college far from home]

I have two dc going to school in a different state. Neither can come home for Thanksgiving because it is too far and too expensive for airfare. It was very hard for me to deal with this, and I admit I spent some time crying because I missed them during that holiday weekend. One can only be home a total of 4 weeks during the year because of needing to get residency for tuition purposes (means paying their in-state tuition instead of out of state tuition). That means two weeks at Christmas and two weeks during the summer.

 

It is a bit difficult for them to eat during school breaks (Thanksgiving, time between school getting out and when they can come home, time between them returning to school and school starting, spring break) because while they can stay in the dorms, there are not many students there (so a bit lonely), and the cafeterias on campus are closed. This means they have to rely on their microwave and grocery store, when they can get rides (no cars yet), for their meals.

 

Both my dc are in a state with lots of snow and very low temperatures. They both love it because the weather is so different there than at home. One is taking full advantage of excellent snowboarding only half an hour from school (I would say he may be taking too much advantage of the excellent snowboarding, but that is a different topic...)

 

They have not been homesick, and are both independent and able to take care of situations that have arisen. They are ready for this step. I am still adjusting to their step, but as a mother, I probably never will totally be comfortable with them being away. I do know it is right for them to go and I have been preparing them for this since they were born. They have made friends and gotten involved in activities. It has been good for them. It is that next step in their process of maturing. They are very happy when they are home, but also miss being at school. I think that is positive that they feel so at home there, too.

 

I have a ds who is away at school in state, but still about 7-8 hours away, so too far to come home for weekends. He also works, so he can't come home very long on breaks, either. He is home for only one week this Christmas, and couldn't come home for Thanksgiving because of work. But he needs the job, so we adjust. So your dc don't need to be across the country to be unable to come home for many visits during the year.

 

Solutions: video chat. It is free, and dd and I can chat for hours, and I get to see her smiling face. My sons don't enjoy the video chatting as much, but I take what I can get with them :D We do text, email and talk on the phone. We stay in touch regularly.

 

Roommates - I can tell you I am fully blessed that my dc have/have had roommates who are willing to take my dc home for a weekend or Thanksgiving break. It blesses my dc, which in turn blesses me because I know my dc are having a fun break and a good holiday. It is harder for me than it is for them. One ds was at a family's home for an early Thanksgiving lunch, then went back to his apartment and he and a roommate prepared a Thanksgiving feast for themselves, another friend, and a roommate's father who was visiting for the long weekend. He had a wonderful time cooking and was quite proud of his Thanksgiving meal. I would prefer he be home, but it was good to know he is capable and willing to cook that large meal.

[College kids coming home]

Oldest ds is now home (yeah!), dd comes home tomorrow night, and another ds comes home on Saturday. The ds who is home has a long list of friends to visit/have over, and it started last night at dinner time. He has said a friend is coming over tonight as well. It's fine with me. I like my dc's friends, and they like my cooking ;) I am certainly cooking more than I have needed to since they went away to school. I need to bake more goodies, too.

 

I can't wait to have all my dc home in their rooms.

[What do you think will happen now that Kim Jong Il is dead?]

Unfortunately, I don't think this will bring about a positive change or higher standard of living for the people there. He needs to prove himself and his power/authority, which could explain the fear of war. He doesn't have much experience (not that I remember, anyway), but has been groomed to follow his father, so I don't expect him to have a different philosophy of ruling. It really is sad.

[I need a gift idea for my college freshman nephew.]

A Nerf basketball hoop and basketball could be fun, and certainly is played often in dorm rooms. Add a Nerf dart gun for even more fun.

 

A year subscription to Netflix instant play (may cost more than you want to spend, but judging from my dc, this is very popular way to get inexpensive entertainment while on a low college budget)

 

A dvd (he can play it on his computer)

 

A game - Killer Bunnies is a lot of fun. If in your budget, get at least one add-on pack to go with it. My ds plays this in his dorm with friends. Settlers of Catan would be another good game.